Self-Awareness Question: Feel About Yourself

[ysabetwordsmith]

Folks have mentioned an interest in questions and conversations that make them think. So I've decided to offer more of those. We just wrapped up the emotional intimacy list. This is the new list on self-awareness.

1. How do you currently feel about yourself?

Tired.  Accomplished.  Today I have planted 30 flower bulbs, outlined a Samhain ritual with other folks, and written some minispells for my Llewellyn project.  These are typical experiences and feelings for me.

Comments

[caera_ash]

Wrong. Silly. Gross. Useless. I don't like myself. But those feelings are less intense than normal.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Wrong. Silly. Gross. Useless. I don't like myself. <<

:( That sucks.

>>But those feelings are less intense than normal. <<

Yay, progress!

Sometimes it's possible to improve things like that with concrete actions, like volunteering to feel more useful. Other times, life is actually fine except for brain weasels eating brain for no discernible reason. :/

[we_are_spc]

Rested, in the loop between feeling happy and bored. I used the CPAP machine for the first time last night, and while it was only for four hours or so, I already have more energy than I know what to do with. I also noticed more awareness of rib pain. Not like a hart attac, just...sore, and that was odd.

-Trausio~

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Rested, in the loop between feeling happy and bored. I used the CPAP machine for the first time last night, and while it was only for four hours or so, I already have more energy than I know what to do with.<<

Yay!

>> I also noticed more awareness of rib pain. Not like a hart attac, just...sore, and that was odd.<<

It could be the pressure difference. Some people feel like they can't breathe using that kind of equipment. Others find that it causes enough extra work to make them sore. Some simply can't sleep with it on, but it sounds like that's not a problem for you. The problem may or may not go away, and is something you might want to ask about.

Re: Thoughts

[we_are_spc]

If all it does is make me sore, I'll deal with it. I'll ask, certainly, but seriously, the sleep is worth it.

And no, sleeping with it isn't a problem for me, at all. I slept like a baby. Usually I half-wake when the roommie goes to school. ... not this time. I'm not as sore when I'm up and moving, which is good, just when I first woke up.

-Trausio~

-Trausio~

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

The thing to remember about pain is that there are different kinds. Some is a genuine warning, some is a consequence of adaptation, and some is nonsense. If your ribs ache because the equipment is new and it's just a matter of exercising until the muscles get stronger, no problem. But if that's a signal that the equipment is impairing your breath process, that's a problem.

Since you feel more energized, I suspect it is more likely adaptive pain than a warning of serious danger. Ask about it if you can easily reach your doctor. If not, watch and see if it changes. Exercise pain usually fades after a week or two of doing the same new thing. Warning pain often gets worse if you don't heed it and quit doing the bad thing. If it starts to feel better, you're probably fine. If it starts to feel worse, especially if you feel like you're not getting enough air or that breathing is work instead of mindless, that's an urgent issue that needs expert attention. And don't listen if someone tells you a breathing problem will "go away" when it's not or is getting worse; get a second opinion.

Re: Thoughts

[we_are_spc]

Yeah, I can easily reach my doctor/suppliers. They had me put their mumber in my phone as a contact; I called them yesterday about what to do with old supplies when they send new ones.

The environmentalist in me is crying now that I have durable medicle equipment because 'just toss the old ones' (Masks, wter chambers' tubing; the things you get every sixmonths) was the answer they gave me.

*Is a bad Druid...and I don't know how to recycle, or even if you could, this shit because tossing it just...*Criiies*

TL;DR. Doctor is easy to reach.

-T~

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

The priorities are totally up to you. It's just that aching ribs might not be all that happens, and you should watch to see if anything else does. If that is all that happens and you find minor pain more tolerable than impaired sleep, go for it.

Re: Thoughts

[we_are_spc]

I'll keep an eye on it. IT's only the first night. and that and a bit of dizziness (Which went away in about 2 minutes or so( were the only 2 things that have happened so far. Because yeah, if anything more serious happens, it'll definitely be ... oet's try to find something else, because this isn't working completely, and I don't want to go back to endless coughing, thanks.

I appreciate your suggestions; and you. Thank you for being a part of my life. <3

-T~

[fuzzyred]

Unsettled. Anxious for no reason I can define. Apathic. Those are more what I'm feeling in general, so I'm having a hard time telling how I feel about myself. Logically, I am happy with who I am and the direction I'm going, plus pleased because I finally found time to visit with family today. I just can't feel those feelings above the others at the moment.

Aww ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

That sucks. My sympathies.