ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is today's freebie, inspired by a backchannel prompt from [personal profile] starbit. It also fills the "shapeshifter" prompt in my 10-1-19 card for the Fall Festival Bingo. This poem belongs to the LIFC series. (Yes, it skips ahead a lot, but this is where the prompt went.)


"A Painful Process"


The Avengers had just gotten used to
the 'Luke Rogers' persona when
Loki threw a monkey wrench into it.

"Who the hell is this?" Betty said,
staring at the other woman.

She was tall and slim, with
long seal-brown hair that fell to
her waist in soft waves, and
arresting blue-green eyes.

"I'm Lucy Rogers? I'm here
about the job?" she said.

"What the hell are you doing
on our floor?" Betty said.

"Mr. Stark told me to meet
him here?" Lucy said.

Clint ambled into the room
with a box of Lucky Charms.
"Morning, Betty. Morning, boss."

"Wait, that's Loki?" Betty squawked.

"No, that's Lucy," Clint said.
"Different shape, different name."

"O ... kay," Betty said slowly.
"It would have been nice to know
about this development before
you guys gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," Clint said. "I knew it was
a possibility, but nobody told me
they were moving forward with it."

"Tony is a dick," Betty muttered.

"Yeah, but we love him anyway,"
Clint said, looking at Lucy.

"Did I do something wrong?"
Lucy asked, shifting in place.

"No, you look great," Clint said.
"People just weren't expecting it.
You changed a lot, didn't you?"

"I used the same templates
that I did for Luke," she said.
"The changes are ... considerable.
I am not used to these parameters."

"Okay, well, you've been female before,
and you've been Luke before," said Clint.
"This is just another step. You'll get
the hang of it soon enough."

"I'm not used to seeing you
so ... insecure," Betty said.

Lucy sighed. "I haven't finished
the face yet. Whenever I try to set up
the confidence front, everything
sort of shifts under me."

"Oh, that," Betty said.
"Imposter syndrome.
Yeah, it's a bitch." She
frowned. "I didn't know
it could be genetic, though."

"It's not genetic, it's more like
using SillyPutty to pick up
newsprint," Clint explained.
"Loki borrowed from Steve and
Bucky to make Luke, and now Lucy,
but there's also some sort of
cultural imprint outside it."

"That sucks," Betty said.

"What sucks?" Tony said,
walking into the room along with
Natasha. "I don't see any sucking."

"Imposter syndrome sucks,"
Betty said, waving at Lucy.

"New body problems?"
Tony said as he looked
up and down Lucy.

She shrugged. "It is ...
an adjustment," Lucy said.
"Why did you not warn them?"

"I wanted to see how people
would handle you, not knowing
that you're you," Tony said.

"Betty was surprised," Lucy said.
"Clint recognized me at once."

"Yeah, well, we know Clint has
ulterior resources," Tony said.
He turned to Betty. "What do
you think? Can she pass?"

"As what?" Betty said.
"Human? Female?"

"Female," Tony said.
"If not, I can call and hire
a gender coach, but there aren't
any human coaches, or weren't
the last time I checked."

"I have not found
any human coaches
either," JARVIS said.

"Guys, she's not passing,
she is female," Clint said.

"So is Gertrude, but that didn't
stop Walter from still calling her
'George' until I fired his ass, and that
was just embarrassing for everyone,"
Tony said. "So Stark Industries has
a policy of hiring a gender coach for
any employee who needs one."

"Lucy doesn't need a gender coach,
she needs other girls to hang out with
who can help get her feet under her,"
Betty said. "It's not that other people
won't believe she's a woman, it's that
she's having trouble believing in herself."

"This society is a challenge," Lucy said.
"Every time I think I have it figured out,
something new blindsides me instead."

"Learning is always a painful process,"
Natasha said. "Like when you're little, and
your bones are growing, and you ache all over."

"So are you volunteering to take on the job
of girl friend?" Betty asked Natasha.

"I will take Lucy out shopping. She will
need new clothes. I am better at shopping
than socializing," said Natasha. "You will
introduce Lucy to Gertrude and Tiffany, since
they will be working in the same department."

"Wait, what?" Betty said. "Did everyone
know about this project except me?
How could you know that?"

"Publicity is the department
that posted an opening yesterday,
but internal-only, not public,"
Natasha said smugly.

"Why do I even bother
trying to surprise you people?"
Tony muttered, glaring at her.

"I was surprised," Betty said.
"You're lucky it was me and not
one of our more volatile members."

Lucy took a half-step behind Tony.

"Yeah, you'll do fine," he said.
"Come on, we can use one of
the back rooms for the interview."

"Why are you interviewing her?"
Betty wondered. "You already
know what Loki can do."

"I know what Loki can do
in battle, and a few other bits
and bobs from Thor's stories,"
Tony said. "I don't know what Loki
could do with publicity, and I
don't know Lucy at all."

Clint chuckled. "I don't
think you need to worry
about that," he said.
"They don't call him
'Silvertongue' for nothing."

"That's what I'm hoping,"
Tony said. "Come on, Lucy,
let's get this show on the road."

She took a few hesitant steps.

"Okay, no, not like that," Tony said.
"You got to walk it like you own it."

"But you own the Tower and
everything in it, except for
personal quarters," Lucy said.

"All the Avengers have a share in
the common floor," Tony said.
"Steve and Bucky both claim you
as family, so that includes you now."

"Oh," Lucy said softly. "I hadn't
thought of it quite like that."

"Well, now you know," Tony said.
"So put some strut in your stuff.
Nobody believes a publicity agent
who creeps around like a mouse."

"Sorry," said Lucy. "I'm not
used to being ... this."

"I know Asgard is
bass-ackward about
a lot of things," Tony said.
"Earth may have its problems,
but gender is one place where
we've made a lot of progress."

"You really have no idea,"
Steve said, coming into the room.
"Oh, hi. You must be new here.
I'm Steve, pleased to meet you."

Lucy laughed, high and bright.
"Hello. I'm Lucy Rogers."

It took a moment for
the penny to drop.

Then Steve smiled.
"Are you okay?"
he asked gently.
"I hear that top step
can be a doozy."

Gender expression
had been different in
his day, and Steve had
gotten hassled just for
being a male artist.

"I am fine," Lucy said.
"People have offered to help."

"Good," Steve said. "If you
need a hand fine-tuning
your makeup for that body,
let me know. You'll need
different eye shadow for sure,
and brown liner, not black."

"Natasha has offered to take me
out shopping," Lucy said.

"That's great, but Natasha
is a better canvas than
an artist," Steve said.

"So come with us,"
Natasha said. "We will
visit some of the malls
to look at different things."

"Sure," said Steve. "JARVIS,
clear my afternoon schedule."

"Cleared," said JARVIS.
"Your new schedule is in
your personal calendar."

"That leaves us the morning
for the interview and introductions,"
Tony said. "Chop-chop, everyone!"

Despite his high-handed manner,
the Avengers had been accommodating,
and introducing Lucy was not so much of
a painful process as it could have been.

* * *

Notes:

Lucy: [suddenly pinning Jang's hands to the chair with knives] Learning is always a painful process. Like when you're little, and your bones are growing, and you ache all over.

Loki has enough queernesses to fill a whole QUILTBAG both in comics and in mythology. Loki can definitely change physical sex and gender presentation. Does that change gender, though? It's kind of like asking if a bisexual person is still bi when paired with a member of the opposite sex. Loki is always genderqueer. Just the details vary.

Gender dynamics at work can pose challenges. Here are basic and detailed tips for making a gender-friendly workplace. Tony may not always think of these things ahead of time, but he's weird enough himself to sympathize with other people's differences, and also he's an engineer so he dislikes having to solve the same problem over and over again.

Imposter syndrome comes in various styles. It's especially common in women, transfolk, other QUILTBAG people, and other minorities. Here are some ways to fight it.

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-01 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Love it, thank you! Exactly what I hoped for when prompted!

And can't wait to find out how Loki became family to Steve and Bruce. I'd have guessed Clint if I'd thought about it before.

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-01 08:09 pm (UTC)
starbit: a purple cat eye surrounded by black fur (Default)
From: [personal profile] starbit
<3<3<3<3<3
I wanna read that shopping trip now
but also, I love how everyone just took it in stride
and I too want to read the backstory. but, you know, timelines
tl:dr: SO GREAT

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-01 08:56 pm (UTC)
kellan_the_tabby: My face, reflected in a round mirror I'm holding up; the rest of the image is the side of my head, hair shorn short. (Default)
From: [personal profile] kellan_the_tabby
> "This society is a challenge," Lucy said.
> "Every time I think I have it figured out,
> something new blindsides me instead."

... oh honey, join the club. There's more of us there than you'd think.

> Loki can definitely change physical sex and gender presentation. Does that change gender, though?

I'm pretty sure that Loki is Loki-gendered.

Re: Thoughts

Date: 2019-10-01 11:40 pm (UTC)
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)
From: [personal profile] siliconshaman
Well, except in Loki's case, {s}he has other Lokis as well, so it's not like they're a singular..but each one is unique in their own way..

I think on the whole the marvel universe might be better off classing Loki as their own species..

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-01 09:25 pm (UTC)
redsixwing: A red knotwork emblem. (Default)
From: [personal profile] redsixwing
3q3q3q3q3q3q3q!

LOVELY

Date: 2019-10-01 09:33 pm (UTC)
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
From: [personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Seeing Steve the way I had imagined him before Age of Ultraviolence and the remaining movies was something of a jolt.

I like your version of him better than in canon, very MUCH so, and I love the idea of the guy from the forties having less trouble with it than Betty. It's not his thing, but it doesn't bother him at all.

Loki... I think he already HAD feelings of imposter syndrome, before the whole Jotun reveal, and his canon fluidity was always an issue; the visible change just laid down more layers of concrete. However, it also gives him an excuse to ask for help in coping with the obvious version of the problem," which might help more than stuffing everything behin a wall (that Mexico won't pay for).

Re: LOVELY

Date: 2020-09-05 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Comment-thread kudos from DPD_genrefictionbiblioholic (visiting from AO3).
Also, thanks for the breadcrumbs helping us with the jumped-over parts of the timeline. I'll be very interested when we do get to see more of Luke, too.

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-02 01:40 am (UTC)
readera: a cup of tea with an open book behind it (Default)
From: [personal profile] readera
💖💗💖💗

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-02 01:03 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Gaaaaah 3q3q3q

Lucy is perfect, and Loky is just...He and Thor have been too of my favorites in the whole universe (...before Suicide Squad) and I'm just like.. weeee!

(Oh wait, Jarvis is up there, too, because he's Jarvis. xd)

-Trausio~

/happy chinhands

Date: 2019-10-02 01:15 pm (UTC)
iamnotgod: Many lines curving off into the distance and entangling, shaded in colors from yellow to purple (Default)
From: [personal profile] iamnotgod
Seconding the Lucy and JARVIS love~

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-02 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
<3

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-02 08:08 pm (UTC)
pantha: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pantha
Woops, umm, that was me!

Have more feels: <3<3<3

yes

Date: 2019-10-03 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] daisiesrockalot
>>"Guys, she's not passing,
she is female," Clint said.

"So is Gertrude, but that didn't
stop Walter from still calling her
'George' until I fired his ass<<

I love this; it so succinctly summarizes the two main points points people always seem to argue between while showing they aren't mutually exclusive. Also hell yeah one of my favorite headcanons is that Stark Industries has some of the best benefits of any company and that Tony is a big part of that, just by fixing things whenever he notices them.

great but confused

Date: 2019-10-08 11:30 pm (UTC)
ephany: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ephany
I love the story I have a niece who is trans and watching her struggle is hard, seeing issues like these put out there in things like fan-fiction brings some attention and I hope understanding.

the part I'm confused about is, is this a stand alone or did i miss a story where Thor nad Loki were introduced to the whole team family unit. I read and enjoyed the one shot about Thor and being entitled, again not a complaint just a clarification.

Luke Rogers

Date: 2019-10-12 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I feel a bit like I missed a step. Are the events merely inferred or is there an actual post I’m missing?

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-14 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Love this fic, but now I want to know how we got here...


>> Loki can definitely change physical sex and gender presentation. Does that change gender, though?

...just leaving this here:
https://meme.xyz/meme/28960&nomobileview=1

(no subject)

Date: 2019-10-23 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I love it! Loki was always going to be one of my favorites, as a genderfluid mythology geek who’s into comics. And characters who get pushed into becoming villains and then re-deem themselves. And tricksters.

(And... well... When I was a child in daycare the various classes/sections were named after Norse gods and I was a Loki kid, and that may have been over twenty years ago but I’m still a loyal Loki kid at heart.)

I’m always excited to see your take on characters and reading new stories from you. (And re-reading the old ones a hundred times.) I was super excited about Thor, and now I’m happy to see Loki/Lucy. ESPECIALLY since I got a favorite character AND a story about their genderqueerness at the same time! I also enjoyed everyone being open and helpful, and especially Tony’s take on being a boss and taking care of his employees, which I also something I really like.

Yeah, so, anyway. Amazing job and thank you for the story! And the links. The links are always nice. I struggle with imposter syndrome from time to time and it’s nice to be reminded that it’s normal and doesn’t make me fake/wrong/etc. ❤️

(no subject)

Date: 2020-01-27 02:25 am (UTC)
ephany: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ephany
This was great still a bit confusing but I know when the back story is put up all the questions will be answered. I'm going over to ao3 to read the newest installment of coming from the cold. I don't see it here for some reason but I'm looking forward to it as always.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-06-01 04:26 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Ooh, I like this and I'm assuming that Loki picked Steve and Bucky because they have both felt out of time and place. Plus they are more likely to understand the weight of how old Loki truly is. At least a little more than the other Avengers.

I'd still love to see how it all unfolded once you manage to tie up the outstanding major plotlines.

I can Bruce-and-Hulk understanding Loki's life as Odin's scapegoat. Plus Clint is going to understand Loki's difficult relationship with Thor once he works through his issues with how he and Loki got thrown together.

Back to the Dr. Infanta thread I go :D

~Angel

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