Poem: "Only in Acceptance"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This poem came out of the August 4, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from eseme, lb_lee, lynnoconnacht, and mdlbear. It fills the "affection" square in my 6-10-15 card for genprompt_bingo and the "acceptance" square in my 8-1-15 card for the As You Like It Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by bairnsidhe. It belongs to the Damask thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.  It comes after the stories "Untangling Knots" and "Untying Knots" by dialecticdreamer.


"Only in Acceptance"


Maze

We remember what family is like,
what Maisie grew up with.

We're not Maisie, but
we still want to have a family.

It's hard to keep in touch
with the folks back home when
there's so much we're not ready
to tell them yet, but

we have a house full of fellow students

and a supervillain expecting a little stranger

and we have each other.

It's that last part in particular
that has taken getting used to,
but we're making progress.

We're just bigger on the inside
than we used to be.


Clarity

Heron's father Graham helps --

talking with him, yes,
but especially the worksheets
where each of us can record
our own answers for comparison.

There are pages on self-awareness,
shared qualities, and family values;
dysfunctional roles and conflict resolution,
changing emotions, beauty, and acceptance.

Sometimes it helps just to write things down
and see how they related to each other.

We can see what we're doing right
and what we're doing wrong.


Keane

Everyone has a role to play,
and a job to do, but nobody
wants to let me do mine.

I do it anyway.

I'm trying to find ways of
doing it that won't hurt the body
we all share, that won't make
my headmates angry,
but it's hard.

Why can't they just accept
that everyone is not made of sunshine?

A family should have a place for everyone.


Mira

Our mind is smoke and mirrors now,
some things hidden away, others
floodlit by clear lenses.

We each have our own room,
our own windows on the world,
and we share the view in Front.

We each have our own reflection
that only shows on the inside,
never on the outside.

We are captured in glass and silver.

We are looking at each other,
trying to see ourselves.


It's a funhouse in here.
It's bigger on the inside.


Ham

Family is made of affection and acceptance.
It's love that ties the bonds in place,
but tolerance that maintains them.

I can remember what family feels like
but I've forgotten the patience it takes
to put up with other people's flaws.

We all have flaws. I know this.
I just don't remember how
to deal with it anymore.

Maisie knew, but she's gone.

This is what you get when you
cut a whole person into pieces --
not a family but fractions that
don't quite add up to pie.

How do we grow back
what we didn't get in the split?


Clement

I touch them, sometimes,
with my talent -- the edges
of ourselves where we used to be
joined within the whole that was Maisie,
then sliced open and now scarred over.

There is no way to heal what was severed,
no hope of closing the gaps between us.

We can be only ourselves.
We can move only forward.

If there are things we need
that we don't find within us,
then we'll have to sow the seeds
and nurture them while they grow.

I reach in to the others.
I reach out to make friends.

It's all I can do to knit the pieces
together now, to make a family
from memories and tidbits.

So I take care of Mallory,
even though she's prickly and
prone to push me away.

Even if our family life is kind of
a mess, it's still a better example
than what she had before.

I hang out with Dace,
who's all proud of himself
for surviving the school year,
already looking forward to summer.

Sometimes I don't know
how he makes me feel, but
that's okay -- we have time
to explore our emotions together.

Family means growing into each other,
leaning on someone when you need a shoulder,
shoring up someone else when you can.

Only in acceptance can we find peace
and the strength to persevere.

Only in affection can we find
happiness while we do it.

* * *

Notes:

"Happiness can exist only in acceptance."
-- George Orwell

Acceptance is a basic human need. Learn how to accept yourself and others.

Affection is an important part of life. Understand how to get affection and how to give it.

Worksheets cover topics such as self knowledge, self assessment, family values and rules, family mission statement, conflict resolution, family mediation, shared qualities, opposite emotions, my beautiful world, and daily self love.

Comments

[wispfox]

Ah, poor Keane...

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

He's the system scapegoat. A very common pattern in multiples, not quite universal, is that they tend to have one member who does something which needs to be done, which annoys other members, but they don't want to do it themselves. Here it's pain management; other times it's survival needs or speaking the truth or something else. The problem develops much like it does in a dysfunctional family, where one person becomes the lightning rod for problems that the whole family shares in some way.

Damask aren't dysfunctional in the sense of doing each other more harm than good. They've managed to survive a very difficult situation by working together as best they can. But things like this show where they're not working well and need improvement. It's exactly the kind of situation where they would benefit from help to sort out their feelings and find solutions.

[mirrorofsmoke]

THAT is beautiful! :D

We think we'll do some of those worksheets.

-Krystal

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

Worksheets can be very helpful for going through a topic or exercise methodically. They work best for people with linguistic (text-based) or visual (picture-based) intelligence. If your strength lies elsewhere, you may do better with other exercises -- kinesthetic learners often benefit from dance therapy, musical ones from drumming, etc. I have found a lot of good worksheets over the years, some applicable to many contexts, like drawing your emotions.

Most people can learn to do this stuff in their heads, but everyone has to learn the skills and that can be easier with worksheets. Also, and this is one I just wrote recently, someone with high skill who is tired or dealing with a really complex problem can offload some of the mental effort by using a worksheet.

[mdlbear]

Thank you. I love what you did with my prompt.

Nice set of worksheets, and https://www.therapistaid.com/ looks like a great resource.

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you like the poem.

[lone_cat]

That is more insight than I would have expected from Ham, especially at what I assume is a relatively early point.

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Remember, Ham is the Italian. Family a very big deal to him. It's just hard to see sometimes because he's so pugnacious. He needs people, but he knows he doesn't have the skills to maintain relationships. This makes him uneasy. When Ham is uneasy, he acts tougher. But when he's thinking to himself, you can see it.

Re: Well ...

[thnidu]

I'm trying to remember what each inner person does/is good at/their personality. Ham's the healer, right? And Keane, you've just described his place/function. Is there a page or section listing them, or listing the Damask posts?

Ah, never mind, I've just re-found your Polychrome Heroics page on your own website, which starts off with a long set of Damask stories.

Just noticed, at the end of the A-bomb paragraph:
• The latter is closest
> Seems to be missing the rest of the sentence.