Cuddle Party

[ysabetwordsmith]

Everyone needs contact comfort sometimes.  Not everyone has ample opportunities for this in facetime.  So here is a chance for a cuddle party in cyberspace.  Virtual cuddling can help people feel better.

We have a cuddle room that comes with fort cushions, fort frames, sheets for draping, and a weighted blanket.  It has a basket of grooming brushes, hairbrushes, and styling combs.  A bin holds textured pillows. There is a big basket of craft supplies along with art markers, coloring pages, and blank paper.  The kitchen has a popcorn machine. Labels are available to mark dietary needs, recipe ingredients, and level of spiciness. Here is the bathroom, open to everyone.  There is a lawn tent and an outdoor hot tub. Bathers should post a sign for nude or clothed activity.  Come snuggle up!

Comments

Re: *pops in*

[redsixwing]

Hi, ng_moonmoth! Ooh, thank you for the treats. *selects a few kumquats, then offers a hug*

The bird is friendly and likes skritches. (He can speak, when he wants, but he's apparently being shy about it.)

*he bats his eyes, bends his head, and ruffles his neck feathers*

I'd like to lean on a friendly shoulder. What sort of touch are you interested in today?

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[redsixwing]

I derive enjoyment and comfort from just reading *hugs* or the like. If I stop and focus on it, try to imagine what it'd actually feel like, I can ramp it up. (But then I'm good at swapping sensory modes in imagination.) The same applies to some writing not directed at me - some of your comfort scenes work the same way. Turq's thread is particularly good for that, because I can identify strongly with some of his feelings. Some fanfic is good for this too, but when people accidentally (or not) write in things that sound uncomfortable or painful, but are intended to feel good, it can snap me right out of the scene, so I have to be picky. That hasn't happened here, at all.

The more detail the better, as far as I'm concerned. *hugs* is good! But tell me where the hands are, where the weight is, what the breath is doing, and you're substantially more likely to end up with a melted Six.

I definitely use these threads to seek comfort and to give it, in ways I can't locally. I have a committed relationship. I also have a /ridiculous/ touch drive, and there's some quirks - like the rotating cast I write in here - that are difficult to manage in face-space. So, I look forward to these quite a bit.

Re: Yay!

[erulisse]

I have made a variety of skirts over the years although I don't currently own a sewing machine. I have one I made that's still in heavy rotation - I didn't want to have to hem the thing so I used a queen size sheet doubled over and the finished edges used as the hem. I trimmed it down in the middle and put in a drawstring made from the extra fabric. It's cute - I'll have to take a picture

Re: joining in

[ng_moonmoth]

>> a noisome sigh of pleasure <<

"I do not think it means what you think it means."

Obviously, no insult intended, and apparently none taken by the recipient. But it did take me aback when I saw it.

Re: *pops in*

[ng_moonmoth]

*returns hug, wrapping you gently in my arms and then giving a quick firmer squeeze before separating*

*Opens project bag, pulls out a straight knitting needle, starts skritching bird gently with flat end*

I'll be happy to switch to the pointy end if the bird would like -- perhaps if there's an itchy spot they can't reach. Sounds like the bird is somewhat like, but a bit less extreme than, one of our cats, who will run and hide under the bed if she sees you as a stranger, but will cuddle up beside you for belly rubs once she sees you as a friend.

The project bag has a bit more than two rows of blocks of this in it right now for a niece who will give birth in April. I'm tweaking the construction a bit so I can do it as a single piece, after which I'm going to knit a narrow frame around it to make the edge smoother for grandnibling.

*offers that friendly shoulder* After you're done with the lean, I would enjoy some work on the neck and shoulders so I can keep going on the bird, and on the project after they're done. I'll be happy to take a short break if there's something more active you'd like.

Re: joining in

[dialecticdreamer]

Actually, I did.

It was supposed to be a bit funny, and neither 'noisy,' nor 'gusty,' fit at all. (Think of the kind of noise that would make someone want to disappear in a public setting.)

Since the joke landed in the basement, I'll change it.

Re: Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Oh, it goes beyond that. In some cases it's stupidity. But in others, it's active malice for purpose of power or money. Rules and even laws are being passed which ban people from doing things for themselves or others.

Farmers are banned from repairing their own equipment because of proprietary parts and software; they're fighting back because the lock on proprietary repairmen makes it impossible to farm. It's too expensive and the time lag is too long. I don't know why nobody's pounced on the opportunity; if I were making farm equipment, I put out a line like "Fix-it Felix Tractors: designed for the handy farmer, you can fix it!"

Locally, the frankly psychotic health board banned potlucks. If you want to have an event that's open to the public, with food, you have to pay someone to cater it. So now someone else controls what people are permitted to eat at those events, and I ran into a problem with servers not letting me have what I needed. Not to mention my inner Indian running in circles going "AAAAA they're banning potlatch again AAAAAAAAAA!" >_< That really undermines the human bonding potential.

People have been arrested in other places for feeding the homeless. The state won't do it, and now wants to make sure nobody else does it either.

For most products, if you try to repair them, it voids the warranty. Often they're designed so they can't be repaired.

It's infantilization. It's appalling. It's causing problems. And it's getting rapidly worse.

Re: Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I have made a variety of skirts over the years although I don't currently own a sewing machine. <<

I just hand-sew things. I have a sewing machine, I know how to run it, but machines are so unreliable around me that I get things done faster by hand. Plus I'm most prone to sew while talking with people, and I can't put a sewing machine in my lap while I'm sitting on the couch. People are often impressed by my hand-sewing, but it's not patience, it's laziness.

>> I have one I made that's still in heavy rotation - I didn't want to have to hem the thing so I used a queen size sheet doubled over and the finished edges used as the hem. I trimmed it down in the middle and put in a drawstring made from the extra fabric. It's cute - I'll have to take a picture<<

I have totally used selvege edges as hems.

Re: Yes ...

[alexseanchai]

You seen the ifixit manifesto?

Re: *pops in*

[redsixwing]

*squeezes gently, resting chin on your shoulder*

*the bird likes this, and ruffles himself further, letting his eyelids droop and wings relax a bit* You can scratch him with fingers if you like; he's very warm and his feathers are soft and dense.

Heh, yes. He's a cuddlebug once he feels comfortable with someone. I've had cats like that, too.

*admires the knitting* The color is beautiful on that. It's fun to see the progress since last time.

*leans forehead on shoulder, hands resting gently just above, for several breaths* /Thank you./

If you'll sit comfortably, I'll get on a cushion for height and work on your neck and shoulders. Do you like a little pressure, a lot, shallow, deep? Any sore spots I should watch out for?

Re: Yay!

[dreamwriteremmy]

Neil grins, "Forts are the best. Forts with friends are even better." He pauses. "Still needs something."

He grins and goes to grab a marker, a big sheet of paper and piece of tape then writes "Speak friend and enter" in both English and Elvish and shows it to Eva, who starts laughing, "You're a dork. But go ahead. More company is always welcome."

He affixes his sign to their fort.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[dreamwriteremmy]

Yup. It satisfies some of our companionship/safetouch needs. We also like the fact that nonmeatspace means (a) the cuddle party lasts until people stop tagging and (b) we can choose our presentation (sometimes we come as body-persona with headmates sharing the space like we do in some meatspace groups and other times as separate entities.) That freedom of expressions makes me feel like we're collectively bringing a little bit of the worlds you're creating to realspace even though its virtual (it's still real).

Gah

[(Anonymous)]

Someone squish me I'm a ball of nerveeeeeeeeessssss!!!!!!! *FLAILS FLAILS flaps FLAILS*

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[dialecticdreamer]

Personally, I associate the written variations of *hugs* as slightly different things, with {{{hugs}}} implying a stronger or longer embrace, but it happens automatically, just the way I process written English.

Everyone's feedback here is telling me that

- This meets a need in people's lives, not merely fills a few minutes of relaxation time.

- People are, as usual, more comfortable in different sensory modes, so adding more detail does more than prolong reading time; it makes it easier for a reader to visualize easily.

- When I made offers in the cuddle party, it was delightfully satisfying to have someone take me up on the offer. I lack outgoing touch more than incoming, and that affected everything in the cuddle room.

Re: Gah

[ng_moonmoth]

*squish*

Would you like something more intense? Like being wrapped up in a blanket, plain or weighted? Plus having someone lying partially or totally on top of you?

Or not.

[alexseanchai]

Ah. I haven't played in ages. And they add enough new content frequently enough I'm kinda afraid to go back!

Re: *pops in*

[ng_moonmoth]

>> You can scratch him with fingers if you like; he's very warm and his feathers are soft and dense. <<

Thanks for the info. I think I'll take you up on that.

*puts needle away, starts skritching with fingers, being careful to respect the feathers' alignment*

My bird-fondling experience has primarily been with seed-eaters, who will often inadvertently take a chomp on whatever's skritching them. Best if it's not a finger when that happens. Plus, my experience is that keeping my distance makes whatever I'm doing feel less likely to be interpreted as an attack.

>> The color is beautiful on that. <<

Yes, it is. So are the colors I'm actually using: orange, cream, and a variegated brown.

I've got another nibling's family expecting a child in May. I'll be seeing them next month, and helping them select their project and colors.

>> /Thank you./ <<

You're welcome.

*heads over to pillow supply, taking a moment to squish a late arrival on the way*

*returns with a large handful of pillows, creates a comfortable spot on the floor, and pushes the rest your way*

I'd say, start slowly and softly, and find the knots of tension. I typically respond better to work that draws out and dissipates the tension, rather than breaks it up -- my body tends to fight back against intense treatment.

Thanks for asking!

Re: Yes ...

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

I was specifically concerned with crafting supplies that seem to teach "you can't be good at this, the results are ugly"

But yes, there are people torenting from the Ukraine patch codes.

Re: *pops in*

[we_are_spc]

NG!

*huggles* Good to see you! *happyFallon*

You gunna be at Conflikt?

-Fallon~

[we_are_spc]

A group of people enters:
One is a winged man with pointy ears and red hair. His green eyes spot the grooming basket and he pops in several tools for feathered grooming before making more for himself. He grabs the lavender marker: Craimar, he writes, he/him. He grabs a sticker that says 'ask before touching, please.'
On either sidede of him are two more fliers, one of them looks older than Fallon, and people will be able to tell that she is some relation to her. Her nametag says that she is Trausio, she/her. She is a bit more open to hugs than her husbands, so she grabs a sticker that says hugs are welcome; ask befor cuddling, though.
The last is a flier with chestnut hair and brown-colored wings, He is one of the shiest, not having been to one of these before, Kaelaren, he writes. Grabbing a sticker that says 'ask before touching.
The three of them sit in such a way that they can brushe and groom each others hair and wings. The sighs of pleasure and slight purring as they do so makes a soft counterpoint for the next two who follow:

Fallon, most know. She also has red hair and wings that are a pretty veragated brown and red )A combination of her mom and Dah's patterns) and her hair is done up in brades that hug her head like a tiara. She is lothed to take them down-though she longs to have her hair brushed. She grabs a sticker that says 'cuddles are welcome and appreciated.


-US~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

Yeah, it done helped a lot. Jus knowin' someone care enough to do did shit mean loads, ya'know?
I mean It really the only way I git did shit right now. Even doe we got a physical body don't mean we can physically feel each other sometime an' it sucks. There been times where I wish I could be holdin' Fallon-heah-an' I can't. Bein' able to type it an' be feelin' at least a bit of it jus be makin' mah day an' shit.

Weren't thinkin' I'd be one for cuddles. Ain't till I was heah that I realized healthy touch were a thing I been missin. No I heah, ... dunno what I'd do without bein' here at least once ever so often like.

(Utg, been hanging 'round with Craimah to much. o.o :p)

-Jay~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

"Yeah it done helped a lot."

What Jay said. Pretty much all of it. With the ex gone, we don't get much cuddle time in meatspace anymore. Hell the last cuddle we had was with the very dear friend who brought us out to OVFF and that was over...shit, that was back in October. Even the clan doesn't cuddle much due to surcumstance-probably because they're still not sure what we're all comfortable with, and it was the first week after a situation, but still.

I'm realizing that hair brushing descriptions and petting help a bit too, especially detailed descriptions. I feel like i'm tehere.

I didn't startfinding this out until I was reading DD's story from the other day and Touching Moments. ...also "A Care-ful Conversation" Even thoug it wasn't 'touch' persay, just the companionship there mad me go all gooey.

-Fallon+~

[djbluejay]

Jay follows looking a bit the worse for weah. His usually well-kept dreds look a bit undone at the ends, and he's a bit nervous. He flickers between young teen and adult with the stress of trying to stay calm with everything that's been going on. He flops beside a bodypillow and buries his face. He's affixed a nametag that says "Jay," and has grabbed a sticker that says 'ask befoe touchin' and would rather not have direct contact right away.

He watches Fallon fine NG_moonmoth, and smiles. It's good to see a friendly face here, and it gets him to relax, if only a li'l.

Re: CUDDLE PARTY!!!!!!!!1111ELEVEN!!!!

[alatefeline]

*hrrrrrRRRRRRRRR*

*purring getting LOUD*

*nudge nudge chinrub cuddle*

[alatefeline]

*is a presently a puddle of purr being petted*

*mrrrrrprrrrrs lazily at your and yawns delicately at the yarnball as if to say 'maybe later, too comfy to move menow'*