Poem: "The Key to Everything"
Dec. 20th, 2017 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the April 4, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from redsixwing and siliconshaman. It also fills the "violet (purple)" square in my 4-1-17 card for the Month of Rainbows Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by daisiesrockalot. It belongs to the Berettaflies thread of the Polychrome Heroics series, and comes after "Setting Boundaries" by siliconshaman.
Warning: This poem contains some controversial topics regarding Stylet's previous creations other than the berettaflies. If this is sensitive territory for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Key to Everything"
[Week 6, Day 6]
It took time for the authorities
to go through all of the information
that Stylet had ceded to them.
Periodically Valor's Widow or Carissa
would take Stylet to the police station or
SPOON or SPAZMAT to talk about
the repercussions of the content.
Today it was Valor's Widow
at the police station along with
the adjudicator Mr. Guidry, going over
some of the other chimerae Stylet had made.
"What can you tell me about these?"
Mr. Guidry said, showing Stylet a photo
of several dog-sized birds with feathers in
combinations of green, blue, and purple
most of which were spotted or striped.
"Those are guinea raptors," Stylet said.
"I got an order for guineas that would be
more than just coyote food, and keets with
a life expectancy longer than a glass hammer."
"How did it go?" Valor's Widow asked.
"It went great at first," said Stylet.
"I beefed them up to dog size so that
they could defend themselves, raised
their tolerance for Louisiana weather,
and buffed up their parenting skills."
"The viability seems lower than average
compared to some of your other chimerae,"
Mr. Guidry observed. "What went wrong?"
Stylet threw up his hands. "They're guineas,"
he said. "I spliced in some alligator genes
and tried to dig some better instincts out of
the kitchen junk drawer, but I can't work miracles."
"That sounds frustrating," said Valor's Widow.
"Yeah, viability for a naturally raised clutch
is maybe 10-15%. Out of thirty eggs, you might
get a few keets, which is potential range, and
this is a natural species," said Stylet. "I got
the rate up to 25-40%, which is marginal."
"More than double, that sounds impressive,"
said Mr. Guidry. "What did your client think?"
"Oh, the guinea raptors were a hit --
at first," Stylet said, rolling his eyes. "But
a month later, the client called to complain
that his homestead was overrun with
ticks, like that's somehow my fault."
"What did you say to that?" Mr. Guidry asked.
"You didn't say you wanted them to stay
insectivores. They're too big for that.
But you shouldn't have any rodents left,"
Stylet recited. "It's kind of obvious."
"I know guinea hens like ticks,"
said Mr. Guidry. "What else changed?"
"Well, guinea raptors are about the size
of a bluetick coonhound," said Stylet.
"The keets have egg teeth at first, so
they do start out eating insects. But
then they grow real teeth and go for
mice, rats, snakes -- whatever they
can catch that will fit in their face."
"If they're eating vermin, that's not
a problem. If they're eating pets,
livestock, or endangered species
then that could mean trouble
for you," said Mr. Guidry.
"They're not great parents, though,"
Valor's Widow pointed out. "If we send
a team to ..." She consulted the notes.
"... St. Landry Parish, do you think
we'll find any guinea raptors left?"
"I doubt it," Stylet said. "I mean,
they're still guineas. My client
lost interest in them pretty quick,
and they'd have a hard time
surviving on their own. But I
guess anything is possible."
"I'll notify SPOON and SPAZMAT
to check it out," Valor's Widow said,
making a note on her tablet computer.
"It's kind of sad, though. I don't advocate
mad science, but your client could have
succeeded with a little patience."
"What do you mean?" Stylet asked.
"The keets are still insectivores, so
all your client needed to do was wait for
the adults to start breeding," she replied.
"The key to everything is patience. You get
the hen by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
"Huh," said Stylet. "I guess you're right.
I didn't think about it that way before."
"Moving along, that brings us to ...
terrarium raptors? You're on quite
a dinosaur theme here," said Mr. Guidry.
He glared at Stylet. "I had better not
turn this page to find a T-rex."
"Whoa, hey, no," Stylet said,
waving his hands frantically.
"I got that far in science class.
I don't make any carnivores
big enough to eat me."
"Oh, good," said Mr. Guidry.
"Then let's have a chat about
these terrarium raptors you made ..."
Deep in the heart of St. Landry Parish,
a hungry black bear lumbered through
the greening undergrowth of a young forest.
Coming upon a nest of giant blue eggs,
the bear eagerly took advantage of
the bounty, cracking one open to find
the yolk amazingly rich and delicious.
The next moment, a loud honk
like a car horn startled the bear
away from the tempting nest.
A bird the size of a dog flapped
her huge blue-and-purple wings at
him as she honked and squawked.
Then she bit him on the nose.
With a squall of pain, the bear
stumbled away from the nest.
The guinea raptor gave chase,
scrambling through the underbrush,
now on two legs, now on four, ripping
tufts of fur from the bear's butt with
her foreclaws and nipping him
with her sharp little teeth.
Now truly alarmed, the bear broke
into a gallop and finally outpaced her.
Satisfied at last, the guinea raptor
turned around and trotted back to
the nest she had left for a drink of
water and a quick hunting trip.
It never took long for her
to catch enough food here --
there were woodland voles,
golden and white-footed mice,
cotton rats and woodrats,
now and then a swamp rabbit
but most delectable of all,
the plump slow-moving nutria
that thronged along the river.
Tootling softly to herself,
the guinea raptor patiently settled
onto her thirty-six remaining eggs
and closed her eyes.
* * *
Notes:
"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
-- unknown
There's always someone who wants to make dinosaurs out of chickens. This is actually redundant, since birds already are dinosaurs. There are practical challenges to making a chicken look more, shall we say, classically saurian; but it should be possible.
In mythology, a chimera is a mishmash of body parts from several animals. In genetics, it's a creature with genes spliced together from different species. There are actually many different forms of chimerae. This raises some fraught ethical issues, particularly when you get to human-animal combinations. Supervillains have their own set of ethics.
Guinea fowl are fast. Their meat is dark and gamey, their eggs rich. They eat seeds, insects, and small animals such as mice and snakes. They are particularly prized for eating ticks. However, the tiny keets are delicate and difficult to raise, while guinea hens are terrible mothers. For this reason, many farmers choose to raise their keets with an incubator or a broody hen -- silkies are ideal for this.
Helmeted guinea fowl have been domesticated for some time. They come in pearl gray, royal purple, and many other colors. Richenow's helmeted guinea is a wild bird with a prominent crest. Vulturine guineafowl lack the crest but have striped as well as spotted feathers; they are the largest guineas.
Mallards are ducks native to Louisiana and most of North America. Adding their genes helps to adapt guinea raptors to local conditions.
American alligators (Alligator mississippiensis) also appear throughout much of Louisiana. They are capable parents.
Hadrosaurs were large dinosaurs that lived in herds and nested together, apparently raising their young with some care. Dramatic hollow crests probably made loud sounds. They could move on two or four legs. Stylet used these genes for added size, communal behavior, parenting, and the signal horn.
Guinea raptors are the size of large dogs, although their weight remains closer to bird scale, around 5-6 pounds, 21-27 inches high, and 25-30 inches long. They cannot fly effectively, because they are too heavy and have wings similar to Archaeopteryx rather than modern birds, but they can jump and glide well. They have a mix of scales and feathers, typically spotted and/or striped. They are ambipedal, able to move on two or four legs. They have snouts with small egg teeth at first, later spouting true teeth that are quite serious. Here is one style of guinea raptors. The keets eat insects and seeds, or shreds of meat brought by the hen. The adults eat small animals such as mice, rats, and snakes. They have a particular fondness for rodents. Their favorite food is nutria, a serious pest in Louisiana, including St. Landry parish.
Dinosaur feathers appeared in various species. Archaeopteryx had primitive wing feather arrangement, limiting some of their flight capacity but allowing it to climb. People debate whether it was really a bird or not. Anchiornis was another feathered dinosaur. These proto-birds contributed a lot to the appearance and locomotion of the guinea raptors.
Guinea raptors are as formidable as small raptors. In fact, microraptors actually had four wings, which may have boosted their gliding ability.
Even ordinary guinea hybrids can look surprisingly saurian.
In America, naturally raised guinea fowl have about a 10-15% survival rate, in the low middle of Stylet's potential range. A clutch of 25-30 eggs may produce 3-6 live keets. In Africa, where they evolved, the weather is hotter and drier, so the environmental loss is probably lower; but predation may be higher. Naturally raised guinea raptors can get 25-40% live hatching, which is just a little more than double the guinea fowl, in the high middle of Stylet's marginal range. However, the losses are due to nesting failures and predation rather than poor health -- the ones that hatch tend to be quite robust. They're even a little more tolerant of damp than guinea fowl. They are much more formidable in the face of predators.
Viability describes how well an individual or species can survive, or in gengineering, the efficacy of a technique in producing live healthy offspring. Making cloned mammals can be very inefficient (Dolly the sheep was the only survivor out of 277 attempts) although by 2014 local-Chinese scientists claimed 70–80% success in cloning pigs. Stylet uses this scale:
Nonviable -- no living births.
Unlikely -- less than 1% living births; most or all offspring have health problems and greatly shortened lifespan.
Potential -- 1-25% living births; many offspring have health problems and/or shortened lifespan.
Marginal -- 26-50% living births; some offspring have health problems or shortened lifespan, but the effects are not as bad.
Viable -- 51% or more living births; few if any offspring have health problems or slightly shortened lifespan, and those rare effects tend to be minor.
Coyotes cause challenges in Louisiana, and may be hunted with minimal restrictions.
Junk DNA, more formally known as noncoding DNA, is basically where nature stores patterns it doesn't need today but might need tomorrow. Genegineers often call it "the kitchen junk drawer."
St. Landry Parish lies toward the middle of Louisiana. The guinea raptors have established themselves in a 650-acre plot of younger and older forests, clearings, fields, and waterways. It has been used extensively for hunting, such as deer and bear, and still has blinds left there. See a road map and outline map.
Everything is better with dinosaurs, because dinosaurs are cool. Supervillains in general, and genegineers in particular, tend to love dinosaurs. This means that T-American folks have a somewhat higher awareness of them compared to L-Americans. So while there are plenty of famous dinosaur species in play, there are also some more obscure ones. And anyone bragging about their "dinosaurs" while fielding pterosaurs, dimetrodons, or anything else that isn't actually a dinosaur will get loudly mocked by fellow supervillains, superheros, cops, and random citizens.
Because of this and related reasons, T-America teaches the humanities as a surivival skill.
redsixwing and siliconshaman. It also fills the "violet (purple)" square in my 4-1-17 card for the Month of Rainbows Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by daisiesrockalot. It belongs to the Berettaflies thread of the Polychrome Heroics series, and comes after "Setting Boundaries" by siliconshaman.Warning: This poem contains some controversial topics regarding Stylet's previous creations other than the berettaflies. If this is sensitive territory for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Key to Everything"
[Week 6, Day 6]
It took time for the authorities
to go through all of the information
that Stylet had ceded to them.
Periodically Valor's Widow or Carissa
would take Stylet to the police station or
SPOON or SPAZMAT to talk about
the repercussions of the content.
Today it was Valor's Widow
at the police station along with
the adjudicator Mr. Guidry, going over
some of the other chimerae Stylet had made.
"What can you tell me about these?"
Mr. Guidry said, showing Stylet a photo
of several dog-sized birds with feathers in
combinations of green, blue, and purple
most of which were spotted or striped.
"Those are guinea raptors," Stylet said.
"I got an order for guineas that would be
more than just coyote food, and keets with
a life expectancy longer than a glass hammer."
"How did it go?" Valor's Widow asked.
"It went great at first," said Stylet.
"I beefed them up to dog size so that
they could defend themselves, raised
their tolerance for Louisiana weather,
and buffed up their parenting skills."
"The viability seems lower than average
compared to some of your other chimerae,"
Mr. Guidry observed. "What went wrong?"
Stylet threw up his hands. "They're guineas,"
he said. "I spliced in some alligator genes
and tried to dig some better instincts out of
the kitchen junk drawer, but I can't work miracles."
"That sounds frustrating," said Valor's Widow.
"Yeah, viability for a naturally raised clutch
is maybe 10-15%. Out of thirty eggs, you might
get a few keets, which is potential range, and
this is a natural species," said Stylet. "I got
the rate up to 25-40%, which is marginal."
"More than double, that sounds impressive,"
said Mr. Guidry. "What did your client think?"
"Oh, the guinea raptors were a hit --
at first," Stylet said, rolling his eyes. "But
a month later, the client called to complain
that his homestead was overrun with
ticks, like that's somehow my fault."
"What did you say to that?" Mr. Guidry asked.
"You didn't say you wanted them to stay
insectivores. They're too big for that.
But you shouldn't have any rodents left,"
Stylet recited. "It's kind of obvious."
"I know guinea hens like ticks,"
said Mr. Guidry. "What else changed?"
"Well, guinea raptors are about the size
of a bluetick coonhound," said Stylet.
"The keets have egg teeth at first, so
they do start out eating insects. But
then they grow real teeth and go for
mice, rats, snakes -- whatever they
can catch that will fit in their face."
"If they're eating vermin, that's not
a problem. If they're eating pets,
livestock, or endangered species
then that could mean trouble
for you," said Mr. Guidry.
"They're not great parents, though,"
Valor's Widow pointed out. "If we send
a team to ..." She consulted the notes.
"... St. Landry Parish, do you think
we'll find any guinea raptors left?"
"I doubt it," Stylet said. "I mean,
they're still guineas. My client
lost interest in them pretty quick,
and they'd have a hard time
surviving on their own. But I
guess anything is possible."
"I'll notify SPOON and SPAZMAT
to check it out," Valor's Widow said,
making a note on her tablet computer.
"It's kind of sad, though. I don't advocate
mad science, but your client could have
succeeded with a little patience."
"What do you mean?" Stylet asked.
"The keets are still insectivores, so
all your client needed to do was wait for
the adults to start breeding," she replied.
"The key to everything is patience. You get
the hen by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
"Huh," said Stylet. "I guess you're right.
I didn't think about it that way before."
"Moving along, that brings us to ...
terrarium raptors? You're on quite
a dinosaur theme here," said Mr. Guidry.
He glared at Stylet. "I had better not
turn this page to find a T-rex."
"Whoa, hey, no," Stylet said,
waving his hands frantically.
"I got that far in science class.
I don't make any carnivores
big enough to eat me."
"Oh, good," said Mr. Guidry.
"Then let's have a chat about
these terrarium raptors you made ..."
Deep in the heart of St. Landry Parish,
a hungry black bear lumbered through
the greening undergrowth of a young forest.
Coming upon a nest of giant blue eggs,
the bear eagerly took advantage of
the bounty, cracking one open to find
the yolk amazingly rich and delicious.
The next moment, a loud honk
like a car horn startled the bear
away from the tempting nest.
A bird the size of a dog flapped
her huge blue-and-purple wings at
him as she honked and squawked.
Then she bit him on the nose.
With a squall of pain, the bear
stumbled away from the nest.
The guinea raptor gave chase,
scrambling through the underbrush,
now on two legs, now on four, ripping
tufts of fur from the bear's butt with
her foreclaws and nipping him
with her sharp little teeth.
Now truly alarmed, the bear broke
into a gallop and finally outpaced her.
Satisfied at last, the guinea raptor
turned around and trotted back to
the nest she had left for a drink of
water and a quick hunting trip.
It never took long for her
to catch enough food here --
there were woodland voles,
golden and white-footed mice,
cotton rats and woodrats,
now and then a swamp rabbit
but most delectable of all,
the plump slow-moving nutria
that thronged along the river.
Tootling softly to herself,
the guinea raptor patiently settled
onto her thirty-six remaining eggs
and closed her eyes.
* * *
Notes:
"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
-- unknown
There's always someone who wants to make dinosaurs out of chickens. This is actually redundant, since birds already are dinosaurs. There are practical challenges to making a chicken look more, shall we say, classically saurian; but it should be possible.
In mythology, a chimera is a mishmash of body parts from several animals. In genetics, it's a creature with genes spliced together from different species. There are actually many different forms of chimerae. This raises some fraught ethical issues, particularly when you get to human-animal combinations. Supervillains have their own set of ethics.
Guinea fowl are fast. Their meat is dark and gamey, their eggs rich. They eat seeds, insects, and small animals such as mice and snakes. They are particularly prized for eating ticks. However, the tiny keets are delicate and difficult to raise, while guinea hens are terrible mothers. For this reason, many farmers choose to raise their keets with an incubator or a broody hen -- silkies are ideal for this.
Helmeted guinea fowl have been domesticated for some time. They come in pearl gray, royal purple, and many other colors. Richenow's helmeted guinea is a wild bird with a prominent crest. Vulturine guineafowl lack the crest but have striped as well as spotted feathers; they are the largest guineas.
Mallards are ducks native to Louisiana and most of North America. Adding their genes helps to adapt guinea raptors to local conditions.
American alligators (Alligator mississippiensis) also appear throughout much of Louisiana. They are capable parents.
Hadrosaurs were large dinosaurs that lived in herds and nested together, apparently raising their young with some care. Dramatic hollow crests probably made loud sounds. They could move on two or four legs. Stylet used these genes for added size, communal behavior, parenting, and the signal horn.
Guinea raptors are the size of large dogs, although their weight remains closer to bird scale, around 5-6 pounds, 21-27 inches high, and 25-30 inches long. They cannot fly effectively, because they are too heavy and have wings similar to Archaeopteryx rather than modern birds, but they can jump and glide well. They have a mix of scales and feathers, typically spotted and/or striped. They are ambipedal, able to move on two or four legs. They have snouts with small egg teeth at first, later spouting true teeth that are quite serious. Here is one style of guinea raptors. The keets eat insects and seeds, or shreds of meat brought by the hen. The adults eat small animals such as mice, rats, and snakes. They have a particular fondness for rodents. Their favorite food is nutria, a serious pest in Louisiana, including St. Landry parish.
Dinosaur feathers appeared in various species. Archaeopteryx had primitive wing feather arrangement, limiting some of their flight capacity but allowing it to climb. People debate whether it was really a bird or not. Anchiornis was another feathered dinosaur. These proto-birds contributed a lot to the appearance and locomotion of the guinea raptors.
Guinea raptors are as formidable as small raptors. In fact, microraptors actually had four wings, which may have boosted their gliding ability.
Even ordinary guinea hybrids can look surprisingly saurian.
In America, naturally raised guinea fowl have about a 10-15% survival rate, in the low middle of Stylet's potential range. A clutch of 25-30 eggs may produce 3-6 live keets. In Africa, where they evolved, the weather is hotter and drier, so the environmental loss is probably lower; but predation may be higher. Naturally raised guinea raptors can get 25-40% live hatching, which is just a little more than double the guinea fowl, in the high middle of Stylet's marginal range. However, the losses are due to nesting failures and predation rather than poor health -- the ones that hatch tend to be quite robust. They're even a little more tolerant of damp than guinea fowl. They are much more formidable in the face of predators.
Viability describes how well an individual or species can survive, or in gengineering, the efficacy of a technique in producing live healthy offspring. Making cloned mammals can be very inefficient (Dolly the sheep was the only survivor out of 277 attempts) although by 2014 local-Chinese scientists claimed 70–80% success in cloning pigs. Stylet uses this scale:
Nonviable -- no living births.
Unlikely -- less than 1% living births; most or all offspring have health problems and greatly shortened lifespan.
Potential -- 1-25% living births; many offspring have health problems and/or shortened lifespan.
Marginal -- 26-50% living births; some offspring have health problems or shortened lifespan, but the effects are not as bad.
Viable -- 51% or more living births; few if any offspring have health problems or slightly shortened lifespan, and those rare effects tend to be minor.
Coyotes cause challenges in Louisiana, and may be hunted with minimal restrictions.
Junk DNA, more formally known as noncoding DNA, is basically where nature stores patterns it doesn't need today but might need tomorrow. Genegineers often call it "the kitchen junk drawer."
St. Landry Parish lies toward the middle of Louisiana. The guinea raptors have established themselves in a 650-acre plot of younger and older forests, clearings, fields, and waterways. It has been used extensively for hunting, such as deer and bear, and still has blinds left there. See a road map and outline map.
Everything is better with dinosaurs, because dinosaurs are cool. Supervillains in general, and genegineers in particular, tend to love dinosaurs. This means that T-American folks have a somewhat higher awareness of them compared to L-Americans. So while there are plenty of famous dinosaur species in play, there are also some more obscure ones. And anyone bragging about their "dinosaurs" while fielding pterosaurs, dimetrodons, or anything else that isn't actually a dinosaur will get loudly mocked by fellow supervillains, superheros, cops, and random citizens.
Because of this and related reasons, T-America teaches the humanities as a surivival skill.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-12-21 10:47 am (UTC)Probably be a wash for Stylet once they discover that the GRs *love* nutria. An extra predator for a nuisance species is only unwelcome if they have some other negative impact on the ecosystem.
So it looks like the GRs will wind up as a credit in the balance sheet. Maybe not a big one, but a credit.
That should cheer up Stylet some.
Nutria are a bit of a nuisance in Oregon, but I'm not sure if they reach the "invasive species" level. Too cold for the Guinea raptors though.
Now if he can come up with something that'll go after english ivy but not turn into a nuisance when they've thinned it out a bit folks here in Oregon would be *real* happy. Driving it to extinction would be welcome as it kills a lot of trees.
Himalayan blackberry is another species that runs wild here (I've seen berry tangles that cover *acres*). That one we could live with just beating it back a lot. The berries are nice, but the tangles are not.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-12-21 11:02 am (UTC)Yes, but probably nowhere near as much as would normally happen for letting a gengineered species go wild. He's liable to lose at least his control over their habitat, though.
>> Probably be a wash for Stylet once they discover that the GRs *love* nutria. An extra predator for a nuisance species is only unwelcome if they have some other negative impact on the ecosystem.<<
Oh, it gets better ...
>> So it looks like the GRs will wind up as a credit in the balance sheet. Maybe not a big one, but a credit. <<
Huge credit, actually. The damn nutria are eating Louisiana. Which already has a problem of vanishing shoreline, but they turn marsh into open water at a prodigious rate. O_O
>> That should cheer up Stylet some. <<
Eventually, perhaps. Right now, it's probably going to be more disorienting than cheering.
>> Nutria are a bit of a nuisance in Oregon, but I'm not sure if they reach the "invasive species" level. Too cold for the Guinea raptors though.<<
Yeah.
Stylet: "I could make them fluffier."
>> Now if he can come up with something that'll go after english ivy but not turn into a nuisance when they've thinned it out a bit folks here in Oregon would be *real* happy. Driving it to extinction would be welcome as it kills a lot of trees. <<
Possibly. I imagine he could do the same for kudzu.
>> Himalayan blackberry is another species that runs wild here (I've seen berry tangles that cover *acres*). That one we could live with just beating it back a lot. The berries are nice, but the tangles are not.<<
Wow. Yeah, most berry canes will thicket up if nothing eats them.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-12-21 02:37 pm (UTC)Himalayan blackberry is easy though. Just genengineer a variant that produces shorter stems, and tweak the control genes for the expression of that growth pattern to be dominant, then let it hybridise with the wild type and watch the 'dwarf' version become dominant.
Shorter stems means less tangles, but also costs the plant less energy. It would be problem if there were large herbivores browsing it.. but since that's not usually the case in urban environments, it's not selected against.
Well ...
Date: 2017-12-21 07:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-12-21 04:05 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2017-12-21 08:28 pm (UTC)