Hard Things
Sep. 20th, 2017 03:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithLife is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-20 09:10 am (UTC)Aww ...
Date: 2017-09-20 09:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-20 11:03 am (UTC)*brings over fluffy blanket and makes kitty sized blanket fort*
(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-20 11:07 am (UTC)Writing smut is kinda outside my comfort zone, but then, that's how one grows as a writer. [and I was dared] But wresting the darn thing so it doesn't keep going off into plot-type side stuff with no sexy stuff happening is proving difficult. It's like herding greased eels.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 02:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 10:31 am (UTC)(I will not read it, alas; becoming the A in QUILTBAG has made reading erotica very difficult.)
(no subject)
From:Well...
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From:tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-20 11:53 am (UTC)Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-20 02:40 pm (UTC)Here's to healing.
Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-20 03:46 pm (UTC)Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-21 10:15 am (UTC)Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-21 10:33 am (UTC)Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-21 10:42 pm (UTC)*offers blankie*
*offers hugs*
Re: tw: rape
Date: 2017-09-23 12:14 am (UTC)Virtual confetti for the nightmare-free night! May you have many more.
*CONFETTI* === *CONFETTI* === *CONFETTI*
(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-20 02:41 pm (UTC)I'll get through this, but it's like trying to pedal a bike with square wheels - every heavy lift is followed by a rattling THUMP.
Alas!
Date: 2017-09-20 03:43 pm (UTC)Re: Alas!
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 12:10 am (UTC)I dislike my current adjuster. Is abrasive/impatient/condescending on the phone and I ran out of spoons for this over a year ago.
Alas!
Date: 2017-09-21 12:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 10:34 am (UTC)overcoming obstacles
Date: 2017-09-23 12:26 am (UTC)Profound sympathies.
Is there anyone who can "concierge" this for you? By which I mean someone who you trust with your bona fides (such as the last four digits of your firstborn's SSN, and such cr@p), who could be a "virtual you" in handling these phone calls, so as to reduce your stress level? I've done such things for others, and *am willing* to do such for you, but since as far as I know we haven't met face to face, I'd completely understand if you prefer not to entrust such delicate matters to someone such as myself.
What's in it for me? I take *huge* amounts of glee in thwarting and outwitting obnoxious gits who try to block decent people from getting help/services/compensation which they need and deserve. As I said to a co-worker once, "We beat Murphy!". The look on her face as she realized what I meant, and that it was completely true, is a priceless, treasured memory.
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 01:28 am (UTC)I'm expecting to navigate that until Friday, between working out volunteer stuff and doing a volunteer event. The social load is less though, since I won't be dealing with classmates. And the benefit of doing those things is greater than the short-term cost: one is to work out a volunteer schedule with the ceramics department, which means we'll have a reason to be in the lab again. Potentially learning about *glazes*.
And not for me personally, but someone is supposed to be here to settle some bad relationship stuff from ~1 year ago that got left unresolved - not our fault, somebody tried to open a conversation but got an indefinite rain check. I don't think anyone expects it to go well. It was really toxic and the more we realize how messed up it was, the less we want to get on friendly terms with them again. But the people here who were involved want to try to talk about it with them again, just to say they said their piece and *tried* to make sure the others involved know how it affected the people on our side.
- T.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-09-21 01:43 am (UTC)That sucks.
>> Plus the unwanted touching. Can people *not* grope the body's hair? Or maybe back off after the first time I nope out of being touched? <<
People are rude and intrusive, but then call you "antisocial" ...? I call bullshit. You may actually be that way, but it's hard to tell if you're always surrounded by assholes.
Ways to discourage people from touching you in ways that make you uncomfortable:
* When they approach you, walk away. If they ask why, tell them you don't like them touching you and bothering you all the time.
* Say very loudly, and without being any more specific, "STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!" Everyone will stare at them; most people dislike that.
* File a formal complaint. Nonconsensual touching is technically harassment.
* Break their fingers. This usually makes people blame you for not being a good victim, but it can work if you're laid down a paper trail of them repeatedly molesting you. Technically you don't have to let people paw your body. ANY part of your body, not just your crotch.
* Since you can't control them, but can control yourself, look for ways to make you less appealing to people with no self-control. Loose hair invites petting, free braids invite pulling, but if you pin it up or secure it under a scarf then people are less likely to bother it. Some people love hair gel for the same reason. Fuzzy or silky clothes attract fingers, drab wool or denim much less so. I have found jogging suits fantastic for this; they're usually cotton or poly-cotton blends thick enough to obscure shape.
>> one is to work out a volunteer schedule with the ceramics department, which means we'll have a reason to be in the lab again. Potentially learning about *glazes*. <<
:D Glazes are so cool! Especially if you can do awesome stuff like making a base and then dumping random things in it to see how they bake up. Or if you can make the glazes that bake into crystal fans, those are epic.
>> It was really toxic and the more we realize how messed up it was, the less we want to get on friendly terms with them again. <<
That sounds prudent.
>> But the people here who were involved want to try to talk about it with them again, just to say they said their piece and *tried* to make sure the others involved know how it affected the people on our side. <<
I can see the temptation. However, it would be good to have a support person present if at all possible. Or at least a safety call set up for after the meeting.
Re: Thoughts
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 02:45 am (UTC)On the bright side, tomorrow is payday and my last day of work before my weekend.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-09-21 05:42 am (UTC)I know that feel. :( It sucks.
- T.
(no subject)
From:Try this ...
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From:*goflopnow*
Date: 2017-09-21 11:19 pm (UTC)2) my Nana fell and we found out she was on the floor for about 24 hours....luckily all tests are negative but it's looking like she won't be able to live on her own for much longer, and dealing with that is just....ooof
3)I had one of these days inside my own head today **STOP TELLING ME I SHOULD BE PREGNANT WHEN IM NOT PREGNANT!!! IM NOT PREGNANT DONT TOUCH ME GO AWAY STOP ASKING I HATE ALL OF YOU AAAAAAGH!**
....yeah
Re: *goflopnow*
Date: 2017-09-22 12:56 am (UTC)Also inefficient and ineffective. Good luck with it.
>> 2) my Nana fell and we found out she was on the floor for about 24 hours....luckily all tests are negative but it's looking like she won't be able to live on her own for much longer, and dealing with that is just....ooof<<
Bummer. Some possibilities:
There are many types of emergency signal. You can even get smartwatches with an app for that, some of which don't take much fiddling around to use. These are popular with elderly people.
You might explore in-home help. It's usually cheaper than a nursing home, and better at keeping people alive in the absence of major maladies that require advanced nursing care.
If you haven't yet discussed end-of-life plans, now would be a good time. Is your Nana the "cling to life at all costs" type or the "let me go, I'm done" type? This will inform decisions aimed at supporting the kind of death she prefers.
Absent an obvious physical cause, falling is often an end-of-life signal. Once the soul starts slipping free of the body, like a snake shedding its skin, it gets harder to control the body. So people tend to fall over, drop things, have trouble swallowing, etc. It may help to keep that in mind when thinking about what to do next.
If you are at the stage of seeking resources, I have a ton in this post and below it in comments.
>> 3)I had one of these days inside my own head today **STOP TELLING ME I SHOULD BE PREGNANT WHEN IM NOT PREGNANT!!! IM NOT PREGNANT DONT TOUCH ME GO AWAY STOP ASKING I HATE ALL OF YOU AAAAAAGH!**
....yeah <<
O_O That sucks. I hope your body/mind will quit doing that soon.
Re: *goflopnow*
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2017-09-22 02:07 am (UTC) - ExpandRe: *goflopnow*
From:squaring up
Date: 2017-09-23 12:12 am (UTC)Taking several deep breaths to celebrate, and feeling like a nasty storm cloud which had been hanging over my head, has been lifted. PHEW!!!!
Re: squaring up
Date: 2017-09-23 04:17 am (UTC)