Hard Things
Jan. 18th, 2017 08:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithLife is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
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(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 03:27 am (UTC)Thirteen days of the Snowflake Challenge. I still have to do the last two. Whether I will is anyone's guess. I haven't been able to write any fiction since the election (every time I start to, I think of the tyrant-elect and the feeling "What the fuck is the point?" washes through me), and I've never written a love letter (to fandom or otherwise) in my life.
What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
I'm supposed to be writing a trickster story for a friend. However, I'm nervous because I'd like to make one of the couple black and the other Hispanic (the term used in my state; "Latino," "Latina," and "Latinx" all seem to be West Coast) and I'm neither, so I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up. (I also don't believe anyone will read it even if I do sell it, a fact which is borne out by my AO3 stats.)
So right now I feel defeated before I even start. Which is how I've been feeling since the wee small hours of November 8/9, honestly.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-19 04:10 am (UTC)13/15 is still pretty good.
>> I haven't been able to write any fiction since the election (every time I start to, I think of the tyrant-elect and the feeling "What the fuck is the point?" washes through me), <<
I know that feel, bro. Honestly, at this point my main motivation for activism is so that I can stand in the foyer-ever-after and say, "I fucking told you so."
>>and I've never written a love letter (to fandom or otherwise) in my life. <<
That would make it a useful exercise.
>> I'm supposed to be writing a trickster story for a friend. <<
Cool.
>> However, I'm nervous because I'd like to make<<
It's okay to be nervous. Letting it stop you from writing things is not so great.
>> one of the couple black and the other Hispanic (the term used in my state; "Latino," "Latina," and "Latinx" all seem to be West Coast) and I'm neither, so I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up. <<
1) Reading and writing across cultures is a valuable way of promoting tolerance.
2) If you're not making any mistakes, you're not learning, you're coasting.
>> (I also don't believe anyone will read it even if I do sell it, a fact which is borne out by my AO3 stats.) <<
That sounds very discouraging.
If you write it and post it, give me the link, and I can boost the signal here. A lot of my fans will read what I point them toward.
>> So right now I feel defeated before I even start. Which is how I've been feeling since the wee small hours of November 8/9, honestly.<<
:( Bummer.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:09 am (UTC)I will happily read your story once it's done!
Yes...
Date: 2017-01-19 07:12 am (UTC)Yeah, just sticking around to be sugar in their gas tank has its satisfactions.
>>But I'm pretty sure it's not the best thing for me, long-term. It's just less bad than giving up.<<
Likely so.
>> I'll fix my brain later if I'm still around to do it.<<
This is a logical order of priorities.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2017-01-19 07:14 am (UTC)Re: Yes...
Date: 2017-01-19 07:30 am (UTC)I have often pointed out the ways in which society is like an abusive boyfriend. Especially when it comes to treatment of suicidal people that amounts to, "You don't leave me, bitch! I'll lock your ass up!"
>> They always need modding from one use to the next but having the base program already available make it a LOT easier next time I gotta run em. <<
True. But it's tedious to have to load that for going out to get groceries or health care. :/ Then society wonders why women are bitchy and black people are angry and so many folks come down with anxiety or depression or whatever.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 05:50 am (UTC)Some things are going to be harder.
O_O
Date: 2017-01-19 06:01 am (UTC)Re: O_O
Date: 2017-01-19 06:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:11 am (UTC)best of luck & may it not be too stressful!
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 03:47 pm (UTC)>> it's good to have more space <<
True. But in our case the goal is to have much less space going forward. And the whole thing is complicated by the fact that this house is just about perfect for us; we just can't afford it after I retire. Lots of pain involved, along with the difficulty.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-20 03:27 am (UTC)Also...
Date: 2017-01-19 07:13 am (UTC)Re: Also...
Date: 2017-01-19 03:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 06:26 am (UTC)Hell, just *being sick* at a greater or lesser level since bloody New Years'....
But I'm getting better. Today I bussed it to work and back via an appointment *and* called out some bloke for being blatantly misogynist into the bargain, and took nominally-zero damage for it. (Was promptly rewarded with a delightful conversation with this strawberry blonde chippie from Darbyshire the rest of the way to the Center[sic] of the Universe... and the driver-enforced absence of the bloke in question. Not in that order, either. :D Sometimes the Universe clearly says 'you're doing it right'... )
Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-19 07:10 am (UTC)That sucks.
>> and having all but your very last spoon blown away by some inconsiderate jerque running the stop sign *into his own neighbourhood*... I was never in *danger*, just the psychic blow of "how can you DO that" literally took the wind out of my sails. I made it home.... just. <<
I requested a karma tribble. I got something tiny and dark that looks more like a dust sprite and promptly crawled up a tailpipe. Well, that ought to be interesting.
>> called out some bloke for being blatantly misogynist into the bargain, and took nominally-zero damage for it. (Was promptly rewarded with a delightful conversation with this strawberry blonde chippie from Darbyshire the rest of the way to the Center[sic] of the Universe... and the driver-enforced absence of the bloke in question. Not in that order, either. :D Sometimes the Universe clearly says 'you're doing it right'...) <<
Your efforts on behalf of responsible manhood are deeply appreciated.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 08:00 am (UTC)I'm 2/3 of the way thru cleaning out and reorganizing the cabinet in the back bathroom. (The bottom shelf is the hardest because that's where things pile up.) The eventual object of this exercise is to get the vanity counter uncluttered enough that keeping it clean will be easier.
Also decanted a bunch of small ziploc bags of 15/0 seed beads into tubes, and labeled and priced them for sale (since I don't use beads that small). These were from a Big Bead Stash that I bought from someone who was going out of the business, and they've been sitting in my work area for a long time.
Took the first steps toward some financial rearrangement that will ultimately make our lives a little less stressful.
Yes...
Date: 2017-01-19 08:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:07 pm (UTC)Post surgery ouchies.
Date: 2017-01-19 12:01 pm (UTC)I am therefore sorta high and sorta miserable and consoling myself with the "this too shall pass" mantra from minute to minute.
I'm super excited to be able to breathe out of my nose again though once swelling goes down and bloody nose stops. Yay for completing another baby step towards feeling healthier!
Re: Post surgery ouchies.
Date: 2017-01-19 03:20 pm (UTC)I have a friend who did a sinus surgery (no idea if the cases are even similar, hah) and a year later, said friend still comments how nice it is to be able to breathe out their nose - so. Hang in there!
Re: Post surgery ouchies.
Date: 2017-01-19 07:47 pm (UTC)And it comes with a side helping of cuddling my cats all afternoon, so I've got a really nice and fuzzy recuperation team!
Re: Post surgery ouchies.
Date: 2017-01-20 03:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 03:19 pm (UTC)It did not, to all of our relief.
Called various congresscritters. Encouraged one to keep doing the thing. Hassled the other about several major points of disagreement. (Or rather, did all of the above by proxy of the nice people who pick up constituents' phones.) Remained calm and polite and in some cases, very firm.
Talked to my boss about the recruiter who's been in my hair this week. (Have not told the recruiter to buzz off because I want information, and the best way to get it is unfortunately scary to my boss.)
...it's been quite the week.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 07:38 pm (UTC)moving
Date: 2017-01-19 08:38 pm (UTC)Re: moving
Date: 2017-01-19 08:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 09:11 pm (UTC)need to do I need to discuss paying rent with my Youngest. His generation pays 1/3 of income to rent, so that seems fair to me to ask since I was raised on "pay 1/4" although that's changed and banks now think 31-38 percent is the norm.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-19 10:14 pm (UTC)That sucks. Good luck.
>> need to do I need to discuss paying rent with my Youngest. His generation pays 1/3 of income to rent, so that seems fair to me to ask since I was raised on "pay 1/4" although that's changed and banks now think 31-38 percent is the norm.<<
Understand that there's a difference between what is healthy to spend on housing, and what the combination of income and pricing requires people to pay. 1/4 is a frugal amount; 1/3 is the maximum safe amount. The "housing wage" is defined based on paying 30% (a little less than 1/3). The fact that people are now spending half or more of their income on housing doesn't make it a good idea; it makes a housing crisis. There is nowhere in America that minimum wage will pay for rent affordably. Conversely, here's a look at hourly work and wages required to afford a 2-bedroom apartment at 30% of income. As a result, few young people today can afford to move out, which is a huge problem given that the loss of social ties means almost nobody still has the skillset for multi-generation living.
One job used to support a family. Now it takes 2-5 jobs. Jobs used to be secure, had regular hours, and most of them came with benefits. Now almost no jobs are secure, many are erratic at best, and benefits are patchy. Wages and buying power have stagnated or dropped; expenses have continued to rise. So people are now much poorer than they were a few decades ago -- and most people alive have never even seen a good economy. That's a shifting baseline.
As part of the discussion, therefore, you may wish to explore the difference between what is healthy and what is happening now.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-20 06:35 am (UTC)I've rented rooms in the house for 8 years now to various sorts who do not "live on their own" as most quantify it: a traveling MD, several traveling nurses with 6 month contracts, a college student, one friend of Youngest's with family problems, and a night worker teamster. It's been 95 percent good; only one needed evicting after two years of late payment, non-payment and a $1600 promissory note, that, frankly, I'll be lucky to see fulfilled. She is where she needs to be in life, living with family and needing to pay rent only as money happens to filter down to her. She had a good start renting, and then it all fell apart.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-20 08:16 am (UTC)I read about that, including excerpts, though I haven't seen the whole book. So many things contribute to the problem -- one parking ticket gets the car towed and someone loses their job and then gets evicted. It's a reason why the homeless support movement is starting to work on getting ahead of the problem by preventing vulnerable people from losing their homes. Once that happens, it can be impossible to recover. Not to mention all the working homeless. 0_o
>>I've rented rooms in the house for 8 years now to various sorts who do not "live on their own" as most quantify it: a traveling MD, several traveling nurses with 6 month contracts, a college student, one friend of Youngest's with family problems, and a night worker teamster.<<
Yay! We've rented out a room a few times. More often, we've been emergency crash space. At one point it happened so much that we were nicknamed the Central Illinois Pagan Homeless Shelter.
>> It's been 95 percent good; only one needed evicting after two years of late payment, non-payment and a $1600 promissory note, that, frankly, I'll be lucky to see fulfilled. She is where she needs to be in life, living with family and needing to pay rent only as money happens to filter down to her. She had a good start renting, and then it all fell apart.<<
I'm glad that things mostly went well, and that she had somewhere to go when it fell apart.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-20 04:01 pm (UTC)Indeed. She was 39 and had things going for her: except financially, she was a fine tenant who kept things clean and was quiet; she had supportive brothers who helped her move in and then move out by doing the heavy lifting; she had support from her parents but this is where the trouble began: her parents moved out of state and would allow her to live with them, but they would not pay her rent. She got help from welfare who would pay less than half of what the room was worth and the contract that I would sign with welfare stipulated that the landlady could not ask for more funds for rent. She offered to have a separate contract with me and pay from her spotty online employment, and the prospect of getting into trouble with welfare was unattractive. I couldn't adopt the woman and after two years' problems, evicted; it was not done lightly.
Other folks interviewed wanted to a/share their food stamps or b/work for their keep. I've worked in a sheltered workshop with homeless and folks in halfway houses and such; I ought to write a book! *feels the urge to LJ her memoirs*
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 09:55 pm (UTC)Cleaned my room and moved out so it'll be ready for me to move back in when summer comes. In doing so, I had to get rid of what was basically a full shelf worth of books and donated them to a library, which I now get to deal with the emotional consequences of. Cleaned the bathroom.
Hacked out and color-coded a full schedule to make sure I have a way to see what I can't miss every week.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-01-19 10:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-19 10:01 am (UTC)other hard thing: a muse who wants to write Avengers crack fic when I've got a back-log of other stories. I swear, I have an ADHD muse...
O_O
Date: 2017-01-19 10:12 am (UTC)Re: O_O
Date: 2017-01-19 10:17 am (UTC)write-as-you-go
Date: 2017-01-24 05:47 am (UTC)Re: write-as-you-go
Date: 2017-01-24 05:49 am (UTC)