Trans Day of Remembrance: Yoilosh

[ysabetwordsmith]

For the Trans Day of Remembrance, I direct your attention to the Torn World character Yoilosh, a gender activist. 

EDIT: It occurs to me that I should also add, I maintain my parts of the internet as safe space, so if someone hassles you about your gender in my territory, let me know and I will deal with it.  If you're local to me and having gender issues, you can also come to me and I'll help as best I can.  Intolerance is bullshit up with which I will not put.

Comments

Discouraging

[dialecticdreamer]

That we even /need/ to have such a day. Worse, that there are cases which don't even make national news, regularly.

Thanks for the link. Even the depressing news was worth getting through, because it makes me more aware of the /risks/ my trans friends are taking in this backwards town.

Re: Discouraging

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> That we even /need/ to have such a day. Worse, that there are cases which don't even make national news, regularly. <<

Too true. The murder and suicide rates are astronomical in the genderqueer population. :( That's why I write some of the things I do, both in showing fictional examples of it and in showing alternatives.

>> Thanks for the link. Even the depressing news was worth getting through, because it makes me more aware of the /risks/ my trans friends are taking in this backwards town. <<

Do they know that they can come to you in an emergency? I've made that offer to friends before, genderqueer and otherwise.

Re: Discouraging

[dialecticdreamer]

Truthfully, and this is EMBARRASSING to admit,

I didn't realize I needed to make the offer. I think of my friends as /Name/ or /relationship/ or /hobby/, not TRANS. Seriously, it barely ticks my radar.

I need to think of ways to bring the subject up.

Re: Discouraging

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Truthfully, and this is EMBARRASSING to admit,

I didn't realize I needed to make the offer. I think of my friends as /Name/ or /relationship/ or /hobby/, not TRANS. Seriously, it barely ticks my radar. <<

Okay, I don't tend to tag friends by gender either. (This makes us weird, but that is fine.) What consistently brings it up for me is that sooner or later most of them will say something about not feeling safe, which alerts me to make the offer.

>> I need to think of ways to bring the subject up. <<

Howbout the fact that today is this holiday? No better way to celebrate it than making sure your friends know you want them to stay alive.

[zeeth_kyrah]

I finally know my new name. I just don't know if I can own it in public.

*hugs*

[ysabetwordsmith]

Congratulations on discovering it! Don't worry about publicity; the public is an ass. If you feel like sharing it sooner or later, you can; and if not, that's okay too.

[cmcmck]

Names are important things.

I picked mine at 15 (I'm now 57) and it still suits me well.

Congratulations!

[dialecticdreamer]

Names are precious. Enjoy yours!

[je-reviens.livejournal.com]

What is the difference between transgender and intersex, if you meet soneone in person, how do you tell which one they are without rude questions? How do you know how to address people appropriately?

Just met someone at a party last weekend where all this came up so I'm just wondering.

[zeeth_kyrah]

Transgender is a disagreement between gender and sex. Intersex is a mixed physical body. And you don't need to ask rude questions, because the point is to not worry about what's hidden under someone's clothing. Typically the clothes a person is wearing indicate preferred reference (gender is performative as much as it is existential), but you can't always be sure. If you need a pronoun and you don't already know, simply say "I'm sorry for having to ask, but which pronoun would you prefer?" Many folks will be relieved that you asked instead of assumed, while others may be upset, but at least you asked the polite question and not the rude one.