I appreciate hearing that from someone else. Partly I thought, what would I say to someone else like me who did what I did? That's exactly what I'd say: you did the best you could. I don't blame you for not doing better.
>> You are who and what you are, and you are *where* you are. <<
Sooth. I am comfortable with myself; I know my skills and my limits. I know better than to expect of myself more than I can reasonably give. I know what things make me an asset, and what make me a target, and how to act accordingly. These are things I can accept.
Well, fuck me sideways. If I'd been in Britain or Canada -- someone with lower violence than here and a more cohesive health system -- I wouldn't have taken two minutes. I would only have hesitated the irreducible amount due to "I am not a healer and loathe possibly being used as one get the fuck over it and move" which is a pretty compact packet by now, plus a smallish amount of "I'd rather not get involved with authorities anywhere ever" but minus the American "there is a non-zero chance that a call for help will bring doom instead of rescue." Say, a minute at the outside, half a minute or less if I rolled well.
This is the kind of shit that I can't accept, that I want to change, because it is bitterly wasteful to increase the damage beyond the minimum that nature creates just because humans somewhere are acting like baboons.
>> Warranted mistrust of the peelers is a Big Problem in the .... whole world, really. <<
Tragically so. I watch, so that I may know, and decide my actions based on current context.
>> It's going to be a long road getting that back. <<
Yes, it will. It has taken centuries to convince people to trust their money to banks. Now the banks are absconding with people's money, including exactly the kind of chicanery that people feared at first and used as grounds for keeping their money under the mattress, which is personally secure but not to the public good. It has taken centuries to convince people to trust the medical and scientific fields. Now those are so overtaken by financial interests and religious/political agendas that people no longer trust them to be safe and accurate. HUNDREDS of years worth of MILLIONS of people's ass-busting effort and a handful of flaming idiots have pissed it away in a few years. There are not enough 4-letter words in a toy store's worth of Scrabble sets to express the depth of my outrage over this. The last time rich religious idiots took over from science, nobody in Europe had running water for 500 years. They are back, and I DO NOT WANT to ride their fucking tilt-o-whirl of doom again.
*headdesk*
And yet ... five or so random Americans, none of us panicked, and we did what we could. That is still a ray of hope.
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dancing_serpent
Thank you!
Date: 2014-04-28 04:35 am (UTC)I appreciate hearing that from someone else. Partly I thought, what would I say to someone else like me who did what I did? That's exactly what I'd say: you did the best you could. I don't blame you for not doing better.
>> You are who and what you are, and you are *where* you are. <<
Sooth. I am comfortable with myself; I know my skills and my limits. I know better than to expect of myself more than I can reasonably give. I know what things make me an asset, and what make me a target, and how to act accordingly. These are things I can accept.
Well, fuck me sideways. If I'd been in Britain or Canada -- someone with lower violence than here and a more cohesive health system -- I wouldn't have taken two minutes. I would only have hesitated the irreducible amount due to "I am not a healer and loathe possibly being used as one get the fuck over it and move" which is a pretty compact packet by now, plus a smallish amount of "I'd rather not get involved with authorities anywhere ever" but minus the American "there is a non-zero chance that a call for help will bring doom instead of rescue." Say, a minute at the outside, half a minute or less if I rolled well.
This is the kind of shit that I can't accept, that I want to change, because it is bitterly wasteful to increase the damage beyond the minimum that nature creates just because humans somewhere are acting like baboons.
>> Warranted mistrust of the peelers is a Big Problem in the .... whole world, really. <<
Tragically so. I watch, so that I may know, and decide my actions based on current context.
>> It's going to be a long road getting that back. <<
Yes, it will. It has taken centuries to convince people to trust their money to banks. Now the banks are absconding with people's money, including exactly the kind of chicanery that people feared at first and used as grounds for keeping their money under the mattress, which is personally secure but not to the public good. It has taken centuries to convince people to trust the medical and scientific fields. Now those are so overtaken by financial interests and religious/political agendas that people no longer trust them to be safe and accurate. HUNDREDS of years worth of MILLIONS of people's ass-busting effort and a handful of flaming idiots have pissed it away in a few years. There are not enough 4-letter words in a toy store's worth of Scrabble sets to express the depth of my outrage over this. The last time rich religious idiots took over from science, nobody in Europe had running water for 500 years. They are back, and I DO NOT WANT to ride their fucking tilt-o-whirl of doom again.
*headdesk*
And yet ... five or so random Americans, none of us panicked, and we did what we could. That is still a ray of hope.