ysabetwordsmith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2014-04-25 12:21 am
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2014-04-25 12:21 am
Story: "Hairpins" Part 29
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," and "Green Eggs and Hulk."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28.
NOTE: The final two chapters are mostly adorable fluff during the next game night. However, they also involve some very sensitive territory for Bruce, and Phil has to navigate some delicate personal boundaries with not much verbal input from Bruce. Be advised of deep intimacy and tentative growth.
"Hairpins" Part 29
Bruce showed up for game night wearing worn track pants and a floppy denim shirt with one button gone and another hanging by a thread. It made a forlorn contrast to Clint's cheery purple flannels, Natka's dancing bears, and Tony's replica of the Captain America uniform. Bruce looked at them and tried to slip under the coffee table. He could be erratic about close contact with people, alternating between clingy and avoidant. At least that was an improvement over hiding all the time.
Uncle Phil sat down on the couch in his bathrobe and patted the cushion. "Bruce, would you sit here with me for just a minute?" he invited. "I want to show you something."
Bruce wedged himself into the far corner of the couch. "What?"
Phil held out a soft package, loosely wrapped in tissue to avoid making it seem like a big deal. "I thought you might like to fit in a little better. This should help. Go on, you can take a peek."
Slowly Bruce pushed the paper open. The brown plaid pajamas unfolded into his lap. "For me?" he breathed.
"Yes, those are for you," Phil said. "What do you think?"
"Nice," Bruce said, patting at the fabric with the flat of his left hand. Then he started pawing at the buttons on his shirt.
"Wait, you should change in the bathroom," Phil said. "Enjoy your privacy now that you have it."
Bruce stopped moving and just sat there. His huge dark eyes gazed up at Phil, swimming with some unspoken need.
Phil wracked his mind for possibilities. Sometimes his littles needed things they couldn't articulate, especially the 'younger' ones. Bruce was skittish to begin with, sometimes touch-resistant, and odd about clothes in general. Left to his own devices, he dressed like a rag-bag and wouldn't buy anything unless he had to, although Tony made repeated efforts to coax him into nicer clothes.
No wonder Bruce doesn't see the point to wearing anything good, Phil mused. After all, he goes through clothes pretty quickly when we get called out.
That plucked at Phil's memory, bringing up all the times he'd seen Bruce in shreds of fabric or nothing at all. Some of those were recent, but others went back to the time when SHIELD had kept watch from afar. Sometimes it was Hulk's fault; other times people just handled Bruce roughly, forcing him into or out of clothes depending on what they wanted from him. That made Phil angry even in retrospect.
Maybe Bruce wants help with something simple that he could do for himself, but would rather have me do for him, Phil thought. Maybe he wants to undress in a safer, more controlled environment and be seen on purpose ... or to be dressed, covered up instead of exposed. For certain, he needs to make his own decisions and get treated gently for a change.
"Would you like a hand getting into your jammies?" Phil offered.
Bruce nibbled on his lip, then gave a minute nod.
Phil held out a hand. "Come along," he said.
Bruce inched forward to slip his fingers into Phil's hand. "Okay."
* * *
Notes:
Some people disapprove of sloppy dressing, while others think it's great. People also vary in how long they wear clothes before discarding them as "worn out." Baggy clothes may be a practical adaptation to wilderness conditions or a symptom of depression. Bruce dresses the way he does as a combination of past poverty, indifference to self-care, and the needs of sharing a body with someone several times his size.
Another consideration is body image. Child abuse often causes problems with body image; survivors may use clothes to hide in, divert attention, or conceal injuries. Men as well as women may develop body image issues. Bruce often feels betrayed by and disconnected from his body, so he doesn't always take good care of it even when resources are available. There are tips for helping children form a positive body image.
Neglect can damage childhood development, impairing brain functions and emotional regulation. This often creates disorganized attachment. For example, Bruce shows signs of fearful-avoidant behavior. Caring parents or other guardians can help overcome this damage with extra patience and nurturing. In particular, notice that the boundary violations of sexual abuse closely mimic the effects of the experimentation and enslavement that Bruce survived; look at the parallel differentials of power, knowledge, and gratification. That means Uncle Phil has to work harder to make Bruce feel safe and supported.
Sensitive, withdrawn children may need extra support from adults. They often hesitate to join activities, even if they want to try. There are ways to encourage new experiences and introduce children to group activities. Uncle Phil is good at coaxing rather than pressuring his littles to indulge in game night opportunities.
Feeling unworthy can limit people's options. They may think they don't deserve anything good, or that poor people shouldn't want nice things. This problem applies to many of the Avengers. There are ways to stop thinking that you deserve nothing, such as writing about it.
There are many reasons why people don't ask for help, especially if they have tried in the past and it turned out badly. It's possible to encourage help-seeking behavior, often tailored for specific groups such as adolescents or men. Such reluctance and encouragement apply not just to major issues such as child abuse or mental illness, but also to everyday challenges. Know how to ask for help when you need it. As wary as Bruce seems in this chapter, he's actually making great progress by asking -- however silently -- for help from Uncle Phil.
Body privacy and safety are basic necessities. It takes extra sensitivity to talk with abuse survivors. Parenting sexually abused children requires special care in teaching privacy and boundaries. Bruce's horrible childhood, poverty, Hulk incidents, and assault by various organizations have left his sense of body-right in tatters. He may feel embarrassed about being naked, but he often doesn't feel that he has any control over it.
Children can have a hard time handling abuse. It may do lasting damage, and PTSD can manifest differently in survivors of child abuse, making it difficult to establish healthy boundaries. The most crucial step is to enable body awareness and empowerment. There is a very subtle conversation going on here as Bruce offers a fundamental piece of body-trust, Uncle Phil checks to make sure that it's what Bruce really wants, and then helps find a way forward that respects everyone's boundaries. Bruce needs both an objective check on his shaky navigation, and someone who can accept what he offers so that he has a chance to decide what happens with his body in safe space. Because he's so 'young' he needs more intimate contact than some of the 'older' littles, things he didn't get enough of growing up.
[To be concluded in Part 30 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28.
NOTE: The final two chapters are mostly adorable fluff during the next game night. However, they also involve some very sensitive territory for Bruce, and Phil has to navigate some delicate personal boundaries with not much verbal input from Bruce. Be advised of deep intimacy and tentative growth.
"Hairpins" Part 29
Bruce showed up for game night wearing worn track pants and a floppy denim shirt with one button gone and another hanging by a thread. It made a forlorn contrast to Clint's cheery purple flannels, Natka's dancing bears, and Tony's replica of the Captain America uniform. Bruce looked at them and tried to slip under the coffee table. He could be erratic about close contact with people, alternating between clingy and avoidant. At least that was an improvement over hiding all the time.
Uncle Phil sat down on the couch in his bathrobe and patted the cushion. "Bruce, would you sit here with me for just a minute?" he invited. "I want to show you something."
Bruce wedged himself into the far corner of the couch. "What?"
Phil held out a soft package, loosely wrapped in tissue to avoid making it seem like a big deal. "I thought you might like to fit in a little better. This should help. Go on, you can take a peek."
Slowly Bruce pushed the paper open. The brown plaid pajamas unfolded into his lap. "For me?" he breathed.
"Yes, those are for you," Phil said. "What do you think?"
"Nice," Bruce said, patting at the fabric with the flat of his left hand. Then he started pawing at the buttons on his shirt.
"Wait, you should change in the bathroom," Phil said. "Enjoy your privacy now that you have it."
Bruce stopped moving and just sat there. His huge dark eyes gazed up at Phil, swimming with some unspoken need.
Phil wracked his mind for possibilities. Sometimes his littles needed things they couldn't articulate, especially the 'younger' ones. Bruce was skittish to begin with, sometimes touch-resistant, and odd about clothes in general. Left to his own devices, he dressed like a rag-bag and wouldn't buy anything unless he had to, although Tony made repeated efforts to coax him into nicer clothes.
No wonder Bruce doesn't see the point to wearing anything good, Phil mused. After all, he goes through clothes pretty quickly when we get called out.
That plucked at Phil's memory, bringing up all the times he'd seen Bruce in shreds of fabric or nothing at all. Some of those were recent, but others went back to the time when SHIELD had kept watch from afar. Sometimes it was Hulk's fault; other times people just handled Bruce roughly, forcing him into or out of clothes depending on what they wanted from him. That made Phil angry even in retrospect.
Maybe Bruce wants help with something simple that he could do for himself, but would rather have me do for him, Phil thought. Maybe he wants to undress in a safer, more controlled environment and be seen on purpose ... or to be dressed, covered up instead of exposed. For certain, he needs to make his own decisions and get treated gently for a change.
"Would you like a hand getting into your jammies?" Phil offered.
Bruce nibbled on his lip, then gave a minute nod.
Phil held out a hand. "Come along," he said.
Bruce inched forward to slip his fingers into Phil's hand. "Okay."
* * *
Notes:
Some people disapprove of sloppy dressing, while others think it's great. People also vary in how long they wear clothes before discarding them as "worn out." Baggy clothes may be a practical adaptation to wilderness conditions or a symptom of depression. Bruce dresses the way he does as a combination of past poverty, indifference to self-care, and the needs of sharing a body with someone several times his size.
Another consideration is body image. Child abuse often causes problems with body image; survivors may use clothes to hide in, divert attention, or conceal injuries. Men as well as women may develop body image issues. Bruce often feels betrayed by and disconnected from his body, so he doesn't always take good care of it even when resources are available. There are tips for helping children form a positive body image.
Neglect can damage childhood development, impairing brain functions and emotional regulation. This often creates disorganized attachment. For example, Bruce shows signs of fearful-avoidant behavior. Caring parents or other guardians can help overcome this damage with extra patience and nurturing. In particular, notice that the boundary violations of sexual abuse closely mimic the effects of the experimentation and enslavement that Bruce survived; look at the parallel differentials of power, knowledge, and gratification. That means Uncle Phil has to work harder to make Bruce feel safe and supported.
Sensitive, withdrawn children may need extra support from adults. They often hesitate to join activities, even if they want to try. There are ways to encourage new experiences and introduce children to group activities. Uncle Phil is good at coaxing rather than pressuring his littles to indulge in game night opportunities.
Feeling unworthy can limit people's options. They may think they don't deserve anything good, or that poor people shouldn't want nice things. This problem applies to many of the Avengers. There are ways to stop thinking that you deserve nothing, such as writing about it.
There are many reasons why people don't ask for help, especially if they have tried in the past and it turned out badly. It's possible to encourage help-seeking behavior, often tailored for specific groups such as adolescents or men. Such reluctance and encouragement apply not just to major issues such as child abuse or mental illness, but also to everyday challenges. Know how to ask for help when you need it. As wary as Bruce seems in this chapter, he's actually making great progress by asking -- however silently -- for help from Uncle Phil.
Body privacy and safety are basic necessities. It takes extra sensitivity to talk with abuse survivors. Parenting sexually abused children requires special care in teaching privacy and boundaries. Bruce's horrible childhood, poverty, Hulk incidents, and assault by various organizations have left his sense of body-right in tatters. He may feel embarrassed about being naked, but he often doesn't feel that he has any control over it.
Children can have a hard time handling abuse. It may do lasting damage, and PTSD can manifest differently in survivors of child abuse, making it difficult to establish healthy boundaries. The most crucial step is to enable body awareness and empowerment. There is a very subtle conversation going on here as Bruce offers a fundamental piece of body-trust, Uncle Phil checks to make sure that it's what Bruce really wants, and then helps find a way forward that respects everyone's boundaries. Bruce needs both an objective check on his shaky navigation, and someone who can accept what he offers so that he has a chance to decide what happens with his body in safe space. Because he's so 'young' he needs more intimate contact than some of the 'older' littles, things he didn't get enough of growing up.
[To be concluded in Part 30 ...]
Re: Phil is Awesome Again!
I'd say more like two years old. I use his language as the strongest indicator, and Hulk talks like a toddler. Bruce leans older in ageplay because he wants to be close to Tony, so he's more like three or three and a half.
What we do have going on at the 6-9 month age is attachment. That's when babies learn how responsive adults are to their needs. They're supposed to form a strong, supportive attachment to a caregiver. Instead Bruce-and-Hulk learned that nobody was reliable, their needs wouldn't get met, and people would hurt them. That underlies much of their trouble now. Also the disorganized attachment helps explain why Bruce was so quick to leave Betty whom he adores.
>> Either Hulk "slipped" down to the age where he felt strongest and safest, or they SPLIT at that age. <<
I'm not sure whether they were born as dual twins, or split at toddler age. I am sure Hulk was present in childhood. I was pleased to see hints of that in the earlier Hulk movie.
>> Brian Banner didn't get half the kicking around that he deserved, to paraphrase R. A. Heinlein. <<
Agreed. One thing I'd like to do some time is follow Schrodinger's Hulk into a dimension where Brian Banner is still loose. Because Kay's way of handling him is going to be "double-tap center mass, follow with a shot to the head."
Re: Phil is Awesome Again!
If you think Kay would get to Brian Banner first, go for it... I'd really, really like Chris' cousin Luke to meet him first, though. LOL
Re: Phil is Awesome Again!
I'm happy to hear that. This is really a case of "derive back, extrapolate forward." I look at Hulk's behavior and speech in canon to estimate his psychological age. Then I work further back to imagine how that might have happened. Moving forward, those ideas about his childhood and mindset inform the way he responds to what happens in the stories I'm writing now.
>> If you think Kay would get to Brian Banner first, go for it... I'd really, really like Chris' cousin Luke to meet him first, though. LOL <<
The problem with that is, Luke is a racist bully himself. He'd probably get along great with the likes of Brian Banner and General Ross. :/
Re: Phil is Awesome Again!
But, you likely have met different kinds of bullies and bigots. It's not like there's only a few of them, or they all meet on Wednesdays, or something. (Odin being one of their patrons.)