>> Actually, from a personal standpoint... it's not at ALL "not wanting to give up the bad tape". <<
Thanks for sharing. This helps a lot.
>> Just beginning to heal enough to recognize how INSANE some of the internalized BS is from -one incident- in my childhood, there's also a very real tidal wave of ONE particular fear: if I let (this emotion, whatever it is) out for even a microsecond, the dam is going to burst and oh wow, it's NEVER going to stop. Just trying to GET to the 'bad tape' element is a huge problem. <<
Okay, that makes sense. I've been trying to convey that Bruce is going as fast as he can, he just doesn't have the emotional resilience that Hulk does.
>> Now add in every major trauma Bruce went through just from the incident where his father murdered his mother- he witnessed the attack, he lost one parent to death, the other last seen in an incomprehensible RAGE (Hulk-level rage, in fact), <<
I think that's a key part of the problem: Bruce correlates Hulk with their father. Just separating that is going to be a lot of work.
>> was taken to a hospital and subjected to a bewildering array of physical exams (none of which were likely to be explained to him given his physical age), lost his home and familiar possessions, lost any neighborhood friends or even familiar faces. <<
I suspect that's why Bruce has no real attachment to places, no sense of "home." He doesn't care where he stays and doesn't mind being homeless, because he's always homeless. It was ripped out by the roots when he was a toddler.
Hulk considers the tower home. I don't think Bruce has quite healed enough for that, yet. He's fond of it. That's about the best he can manage.
>> Each SET of emotions can feel that overwhelming and impossible to cope with. That's all rolled into one twenty-four hour period, or less. <<
And Bruce isn't good at handling emotions to begin with.
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dancing_serpent
Re: Phil is Awesome Again!
Date: 2014-05-06 04:29 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing. This helps a lot.
>> Just beginning to heal enough to recognize how INSANE some of the internalized BS is from -one incident- in my childhood, there's also a very real tidal wave of ONE particular fear: if I let (this emotion, whatever it is) out for even a microsecond, the dam is going to burst and oh wow, it's NEVER going to stop. Just trying to GET to the 'bad tape' element is a huge problem. <<
Okay, that makes sense. I've been trying to convey that Bruce is going as fast as he can, he just doesn't have the emotional resilience that Hulk does.
>> Now add in every major trauma Bruce went through just from the incident where his father murdered his mother- he witnessed the attack, he lost one parent to death, the other last seen in an incomprehensible RAGE (Hulk-level rage, in fact), <<
I think that's a key part of the problem: Bruce correlates Hulk with their father. Just separating that is going to be a lot of work.
>> was taken to a hospital and subjected to a bewildering array of physical exams (none of which were likely to be explained to him given his physical age), lost his home and familiar possessions, lost any neighborhood friends or even familiar faces. <<
I suspect that's why Bruce has no real attachment to places, no sense of "home." He doesn't care where he stays and doesn't mind being homeless, because he's always homeless. It was ripped out by the roots when he was a toddler.
Hulk considers the tower home. I don't think Bruce has quite healed enough for that, yet. He's fond of it. That's about the best he can manage.
>> Each SET of emotions can feel that overwhelming and impossible to cope with. That's all rolled into one twenty-four hour period, or less. <<
And Bruce isn't good at handling emotions to begin with.