Intimacy is closely connected with boundaries. These actions are things that help indicate where a person is in relation to another person. People draw lines in different places, and may put certain actions in different rings of intimacy.
Another boundary map is the division between things that are always, sometimes, or never okay. This also varies among people.
Trespassing boundaries against someone's will isn't intimacy, it's violation. It doesn't matter so much what the action is, as whether the people involved are all comfortable with it. If one person is crossing a line that the other person doesn't want them to cross, that's not okay -- even if it's something as casual as a handshake. If everyone is okay with it, then it's fine, even if it involves really deep contact.
>> As can any dynamic where you show that somebody is creepy by having them do intimate things inappropriately. <<
Yes. One of my favorite examples of such creepiness was in "Heroes" where they had a villain with healing powers. He just hauled off and erased someone's disability, not only without asking, but without even mentioning it. Went by in a split second, so a lot of viewers wouldn't even realize how violating it was. But to someone familiar with magical ethics and disability rights, ZOMGWTFBBQ somebody please kill this creep now. I honestly found him creepier than the serial killer.
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dancing_serpent
Well...
Date: 2013-10-29 01:35 am (UTC)Another boundary map is the division between things that are always, sometimes, or never okay. This also varies among people.
Trespassing boundaries against someone's will isn't intimacy, it's violation. It doesn't matter so much what the action is, as whether the people involved are all comfortable with it. If one person is crossing a line that the other person doesn't want them to cross, that's not okay -- even if it's something as casual as a handshake. If everyone is okay with it, then it's fine, even if it involves really deep contact.
>> As can any dynamic where you show that somebody is creepy by having them do intimate things inappropriately. <<
Yes. One of my favorite examples of such creepiness was in "Heroes" where they had a villain with healing powers. He just hauled off and erased someone's disability, not only without asking, but without even mentioning it. Went by in a split second, so a lot of viewers wouldn't even realize how violating it was. But to someone familiar with magical ethics and disability rights, ZOMGWTFBBQ somebody please kill this creep now. I honestly found him creepier than the serial killer.