Economics

Jun. 7th, 2026 04:41 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well.

Female home owners report feeling stuck between men’s contradictory expectations – they are told to be independent, but not assume the breadwinner role.


Bluntly put, if a man has a problem with a female homeowner, he is not looking for an equal partner -- he is looking for a long-term prostitute/housekeeper. A female homeowner is unlikely to want that position, so she might as well dump his ass immediately. She can do better.


“If you buy that house, what’s a guy going to do for you?” he said. It was just after their first date, and just before what would be their last.

Eat her pussy, help make dinner, mow the lawn, do the shopping, hold long conversations under the stars, build a bench, plant a garden, talk about what books they've both read ... any man who cannot come up with a list of useful skills and companionship is not worth having. He's just a john with a shortage of imagination.


With all the speculation over declining marital and birthrates in the US, a disconnect between men and women’s expectations of heterosexual relationships is coming into focus. While 31% of gen Z men agree that “a wife should always obey her husband”, young women rank career satisfaction and financial independence as their top personal priorities.

I'm seeing signs of this across many venues, a growing divergence between what men and women want. Honestly, they might be happier in a same-sex relationship; even if you're straight, you can always just be roommates with compatible life plans. I've also seen reference to more women buying a house together, not as lovers but as best friends.


Stories like Tiffany’s have emerged across women’s whisper networks, support groups and on social media in recent years, as single women across the US continue to surpass their male counterparts in rates of homebuying. According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR) 2025 profile of homebuyers and sellers, single women now make up 25% of US first-time homebuyers, more than twice the percentage of single men (10%).

This isn't actually new. Just the trigger shifted. Back in the 1960s, men were wigging out over women who had jobs. Any job. A lot of men just could not cope with a working women. And working women dealt with that, in various ways. Now most women work, because one paycheck no longer supports a household; it's a necessity, not a lifestyle choice. Nowadays it takes 3-5 jobs to support a household. So give it time. Eventually men will be grateful to have a roof over their heads, any roof, as the housing market continues to worsen. Carry on being awesome, ladies. The men can learn to deal with it, or buy a pocket pussy.


Despite earning less than men on average, NAR’s 2025 data show that single women report a greater willingness to make financial sacrifices to prioritize their homebuying goals: 41% reported spending less on entertainment, vacations, clothing and other non-essential goods, compared with 31% of single men.

Well duh. You have to make a budget, and in that budget, you set your priorities. If home ownership is a goal for you, that means cutting out some other things to make room for it. And you absolutely do not want to hook up with someone who does not share that goal, or you'll constantly be arguing about money. Find someone else who dreams of having their own home, a big kitchen, a deck for outdoor entertaining, or whatever else motivates you -- because then you'll have lots of fun together and can weather challenges.


“There’s more women who just aren’t waiting on a spouse in order to achieve their life goals,”

Nobody is promised tomorrow. Set your goals and pursue them immediately. It takes time to run them until they collapse so you can catch them.


Tonya was 36 when she closed on her condo, and before long, she experienced friction in her love life. She would go on a few dates, and everything would be going well. “And then they find out,” said Tonya.

If you keep having that problem, get it right out front. Then you won't waste time and money dating incompatible people.


She had already learned to downplay her successes as a professional woman working in the sciences. “As soon as I tell people I’m a scientist, they shut down or they start talking about what they’re doing.”

If you hide who you really are, it just means you waste more resources chasing incompatible partners.


When she voiced her opinion, he would call her needy or ask her point blank: “Do you want to be the husband in the relationship now?”

Well, why not? There are plenty of relationships that don't fit the classic standard.


When she voiced her opinion, he would call her needy or ask her point blank: “Do you want to be the husband in the relationship now?”

*snort* Try shopping at FriendZone out back of Hunks'R'Us.


One core feature of masculinities that can lead to problems “is a fear or avoidance of femininity”, he said. Some research has found that men feel an urge to restore their manhood when they feel they may be identified with stereotypical femininity: “So if women are more successful economically, then it’s almost like, ‘I have lost a little bit of my manhood.’”

So get a higher paying job, date women who don't want to work, or adjust your identity. You're more than a wallet with feet ... hopefully.


It turns out even they [men] can’t think of what they bring to the table other than money,” she observed.

Well, at least they're thinking of themselves as more than a dick. My top recommendation would be to hone your listening skills, because most women rarely encounter a man who listens well. If you want to date female homeowners, make sure you have some homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, woodworking, gardening, etc. Invite her on a romantic walk through a home improvement store. Most people are busy, but a female homeowner is guaranteed to be busy. Point out things you can do that would save her time, that's gotta be attractive.


When women couldn’t have their own bank accounts, earn meaningful amounts of their own money, or obtain credit in their own name, they were largely dependent on men for access to money, property and personal financial security. “You took on a certain amount of risk and even trauma from men in order to be provided for,” said Young.

It is only somewhat better now. Leaving an abusive man typically means becoming poor and homeless. The system is still very much stacked toward men.


“We’ve been living in a world whose social, political and economic mechanisms have been dependent upon women’s willingness to self-sacrifice,” Young said. But now that women can claim their own piece of the American dream without having to make the same trade-offs as their predecessors, “a lot of men really don’t know what to do,” she said.

I suspect few of those men have thought to ask women what would be helpful.


“In multiple cases, I’ve been dating a man who could afford to own his own condo but rents, and has asked me to move in with him as opposed to moving into my own condo – and that’s become a major sticking point,” she said.

Fairweather, Redfin’s chief economist, suggested that for many men, living under a woman’s roof goes too far against historical social norms. “Then she would become their landlord, right? And the landlord has power over you. They can evict you.”


Basically, men don't want to take a deal they've been expecting women to take. Good thing they have two hands.


Diana said she made many efforts to be flexible and open minded to her partners’ preferences. She got rid of furniture to make space for their things and with one partner, she did actually rent out her place to move into his. But she repeatedly found herself in a pattern of one-way compromise – the men’s wishes shaped the way she lived, and she rarely received the same consideration or sacrifice.

So there's another thing men could do: support a woman's career.


Now in her mid-30s, Diana is less accommodating. “[My home] has become a key aspect of my identity,” she said. “It’s where I host. It’s become a center for my friend group to gather.” She now sees negativity around her condo ownership as an early red flag.

That is indeed a huge red flag.


She also has learned to spot the early warning signs. “Sometimes on dating apps, men will have in their profile little comments about what they’re not looking for – like ‘don’t swipe if you’re an independent woman or if you’re not feminine.’”

Honesty is important. But you'll probably have better luck meeting people in person, so if you want to date, go where there are people who share your general interests. For every guy who is disturbed by female homeowners, there is at least one who'd love to find a gal who shares his interest in woodworking or gardening or fixer-uppers.


She recently deleted all of her dating apps after coming to the conclusion that her time and energy is better spent elsewhere.

Smart move.


“Where is the pool of men who are self-sufficient and like to read,

Check book clubs, bookstores, libraries, author events, etc.


are willing to go to therapy

Try a peer support group.


and are not afraid of a woman who has a passport?

This one is a lot trickier, because looking for people who enjoy long-range travel means running a high risk of striking up a long-distance relationship. On the bright side, a relationship that can survive long-distance can probably survive anything else. Look for social activities at places with a high tourist count -- museums, art galleries, historic sites, state parks, etc. that suit your other interests.


That sounds really wild to say out loud, but I don’t feel like I’m missing a ton by choosing to read a book instead of swiping on Hinge.”

Almost certainly you will gain more from a book than a dating app which is designed to keep you hooked rather than actually help you find a permanent partner. They don't make money from people who couple up.

(no subject)

Date: 2026-06-08 04:08 am (UTC)
gatheringrivers: (Deusy)
From: [personal profile] gatheringrivers
*mashes the upvote button repeatedly*

(no subject)

Date: 2026-06-08 04:12 am (UTC)
low_delta: (Default)
From: [personal profile] low_delta
Da fuck's the matter with people. "People" being men.

I will say that if I met a woman in a much higher financial class, I would feel insecure. The reason, however, is that we would not likely be compatible personality-wise. She'd be a highly-motivated go-getter with a PHD or something, and I'd be a guy who never even had the motivation to go to college.

(no subject)

Date: 2026-06-08 08:58 am (UTC)
oursin: My photograph of Praire Buoy sculpture, Meadowbrook Park, Urbana, overwritten with Urgent, Phallic Look (urgent phallic)
From: [personal profile] oursin
I've also noted the reported phenomenon of men who treat women like this essentially as sugar mommies who can support them while they pursue their creative dreams or business visions - and do not do anything domestic that one would notice to keep the household running in return....

(no subject)

Date: 2026-06-08 09:14 am (UTC)
cmcmck: (boggled)
From: [personal profile] cmcmck
I owned my own place when we met and so did he.

I find that being any sort of issue boggling!

(no subject)

Date: 2026-06-08 09:52 am (UTC)
freyjaw: (communicator)
From: [personal profile] freyjaw
Yes!

Profile

ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
ysabetwordsmith

June 2026

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags