Poem: "The Contrast of Light and Dark"
Mar. 22nd, 2021 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem came out of the January 2021 ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from fuzzyred. It also fills the "when the world is mud-luscious" square in my 1-3-21 card for the Fresh Starts Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with ng_moonmoth, fuzzyred, and zianuray. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
"The Contrast of Light and Dark"
[Sunday, March 27, 2016]
Shiv ambled out of the house
to see Tolli in the driveway, talking
with some guy he didn't know.
The guest wore a pale blue shirt
over darker blue jeans, and he leaned
against an old rustbucket of a car.
He was skinny and wrinkled with
a white Afro like a dandelion puff.
Then the wind shifted, carrying a bit
of the conversation toward Shiv,
and the familiar sound stroked
over his skin like Microfyne.
Shiv stopped in his tracks
and squeaked on the inhale.
"Rob Ross," he said. "Holy shit,
that's Rob Ross. Holy shit!"
"Yes, we've known him a while,
since we both work with veterans,"
Simon said, pushing gently from behind.
"We weren't expecting him today, though.
I wonder what's come up -- hope it's not bad."
"I, I don't think so," Shiv said. "They both
look pretty relaxed. Maybe he just was
in the area and decided to swing by?"
"Well, let's go find out," Simon said,
and wheeled down the driveway.
Shiv followed him, all nerves at
the idea of meeting Rob Ross,
but utterly unwilling to miss out.
"... flooded the whole darn building,
can you believe it?" Rob was saying.
"So they had to cancel the class, and
hopefully they can find another place
so we can do it tomorrow instead."
"That's pesky," said Tolli. "Anything
we can do to help with the hassle?"
"I thought I'd drop by and see if I
could hang out here today," Rob said.
"Paint the horses, maybe even get
a few folks together if you know
anyone who might be interested."
Shiv concentrated on not hopping
up and down squealing, "Me, me!"
because that never ended well.
Tolli looked at him, eyes twinkling
in the way that reminded Shiv of
where Heron had got that smile of his.
"Oh, I'm sure we can scare up a few."
"I um, would be interested if there's
an opening," Shiv said, licking his lips.
"Barbara Allen who was at the wedding,
she's an artist, she paints shells and stuff.
We should invite Alyssa too, because
she needs something to make her smile."
Alyssa was still learning how to use
a wheelchair, and bummed about
needing one in the first place.
"Rob, this is Shiv, one of
our newer family members,"
Tolli said. "Shiv, this is
Rob Ross. Sometimes he
comes out here and does
workshops for our veterans."
"Should I not take up the space,
then?" Shiv said, trying not to let
his disappointment show. "I mean,
if someone else needs it more ..."
"Then we'll put up another spot
to paint," Rob said. "I have my stuff
in the car. We'll be working outside."
"Sounds great," Simon said. "I wouldn't
mind murdering a canvas myself."
Shiv burst into giggles. He couldn't
help it. Tolli and Simon probably had
the worst color sense of any gay guys
that Shiv had ever even heard of.
"Me too," Tolli said. "I want to call
Caroline and see if she's available.
She might like painting something
with a brush big enough to grip."
"Leonel too," Simon suggested.
"He loves leading crafts in the park."
They bounced around a few other names,
but Shiv didn't recognize the others.
One or another of the Italians might
give it a try too, which was fine.
"I'll make some calls," Simon said
when they finally settled the list.
"That's great, I'll get my stuff
out of the car," Rob said.
Shiv watched him pop the trunk
and then wondered how all of
that junk even fit in there.
There was paint and thinner,
brushes, palettes, and buckets.
The back seat held a stack of easels,
the portable kind that folded flat.
Rob was trying to carry
way too much stuff at once,
and nearly dropped some of it.
"You uh, wantsomehelpsettingup?"
Shiv said all at once, still nervous.
"Sure, that's real nice of you to offer,"
Rob said warmly, smiling at him.
Shiv didn't freak over the compliment,
for once. Rob was nice to everyone,
and worrying about him was kind of
ridiculous. Shiv was just flustered
because he wasn't used to meeting
anyone he actually looked up to.
Fortunately, his experience from
Blues Moon helped a lot, because
Shiv was used to setting up for
graduation parties and such.
Rob picked a spot out in the yard
and they spread out the easels.
"See, we got the barn, the horses
if they feel like posing for us, and
that nice fence -- it's spring, so I
guess we'll just have to imagine
the roses," Rob said, pointing.
"It's uh, mostly berry canes, but
some roses," Shiv remembered.
"On the fence, yeah, but in
your painting, those old vines
are whatever you want," Rob said.
"Blackberries, roses, even grapes."
Shiv couldn't help smiling. "Yeah,
maybe. My grandparents have grapes."
He remembered how they looked in
the sun, purple-black dusted with white,
and how in the spring the vines would
leaf out in pale green hinted with pink.
It didn't take too long to get the place
set up for a painting class, and it
didn't take much longer before
people started to arrive.
Leonel was the first one
to get there, all excited about
painting nature with Rob Ross.
Shiv made sure that the place
they'd chosen for the view would
also work okay with people's wheels.
"No problem, the grass is short and
I'm used to rambling over rougher ground
than this at work," Leonel assured them.
Alyssa was much more subdued,
but Shiv was used to that.
"Hey, you wanna sit by me?"
he offered. "That way, nobody
can see what you're doing."
"Good, because it will
probably suck," Alyssa said.
"Well now, we don't know that yet,"
Shiv said. "You might find out that
you're good at it. Or maybe it'll be
like Simon -- you get a kick out of
murdering a canvas now and then."
Alyssa huffed a little, which was
as close as she got to laughing.
"Okay," she said, and Shiv
would call that a win.
When Barbara Allan
showed up, she got into
a discussion about whether
she could paint on things
other than canvas.
She'd brought along
some giant sand dollars
and a big slab of driftwood
that probably started out
as part of a door.
"Try it and find out,"
Rob encouraged her.
"If it doesn't work, you can
always try something new."
Caroline bounded out of
her car like a dog who'd been
cooped up inside for too long.
"Do you really think I can paint?"
she asked, holding up her hands.
The swan rings gleamed silver where
they held her knuckles in place. "I have
trouble holding things sometimes."
"Everyone can paint," Rob said warmly.
"If you don't like the handle, then just
slap a big old wad of tape on that brush.
Mash it around until the grip feels good."
"Yeah, that should work," Shiv said.
"I've done it with other stuff before.
If you have some Splae, you can
make a handle that actually lasts."
Simon nodded. "We always keep
some of that in the house," he said.
"Caroline, I suggest that you experiment
with tape to find out what handle shape
feels comfortable for you. Then use
the Splae to make a permanent version.
That stuff holds grip ridges really well."
"Thanks, Simon, I'll try that,"
Caroline said, and bounced
over to claim one of the easels.
There were a few other people, but
not so many that it was uncomfortable,
since not everyone who got an invitation
had been able to make it out to the class.
Tolli and Simon had predictably set up
next to each other, clearly not caring about
the quality of art, just wanting to have fun.
"All right, the canvases are ready to paint,
except for one thing," Rob said. "They need
a coat of liquid white so that you can push
the colors around. Let's do that now."
Shiv already knew how to do this bit,
so he grabbed the biggest brush
and slapped on the base coat.
"This is ... um ..." Alyssa said,
struggling with her own brush.
"It's real simple, but you gotta find
what works for you," Shiv said.
"Side to side or up and down?
Try both, then pick a favorite."
Rob was going up and down,
and everyone was copying him,
which wasn't necessarily best.
Alyssa fumbled around a bit more,
then said, "Oh! Side to side. Then
it doesn't bump against my chair."
"See, I knew you could do it,"
Shiv said, grinning at her.
"Now, let's set up our palettes,"
Rob said, and named the colors
that they would be using today.
Shiv loved the fact that Rob
could paint -- and show you
how to do it too -- with less
than a dozen colors.
It wasn't like an art store
with a hundred tubes of paint.
You only needed a few colors.
"When you buy your first tube of paint,
you get your artist's license there," Rob said.
"Read it -- it says you can do anything you
want to do, at least on this piece of canvas.
This piece of canvas is your world."
Shiv gave a happy sigh. Just like
when he painted at home, especially
if he used a Rob Ross video for
inspiration, all his worries
seemed to fall away.
"A world of mud,"
someone muttered,
and the others laughed.
"Look around and see what
we have to work with," Rob said.
"I love painting ... in just spring
when the world is mud-luscious
and the little lame balloonman
whistles far and wee."
"That's a favorite poem,"
said Barbara Allan.
"I'm happy to hear that,"
said Rob. "Let's start with
an almighty sky. Load up
your brush with Phthalo Blue ..."
Shiv followed along, watching
Rob work, and glancing up
to see the pale blue-gray sky.
They laid down the sky with
soft little circles, blended it, then
added some happy little clouds.
After that, they moved on
to mix paint for the mud,
using Yellow Ochre and
Van Dyke Brown and just
a little bit of Alizarin Crimson.
"Let these colors mix in the brush
and that way you have a multitude
of things happening right here in
the brush," Rob said. "You don't
have to spend a lot of time trying
to mix all these different colors."
Shiv remembered that from working
with pastels, the way you could sprinkle
crumbs over the picture for pops of color.
They painted the mud, laying the ground
underneath the blue sky to divide
the canvas into a landscape.
"Mine's too dark," Leonel grumbled.
"I don't know what to do with it."
"Don't worry about that yet. We
will get to the highlights soon enough.
Put light against light – you have nothing.
Put dark against dark – you have nothing.
It’s the contrast of light and dark that each
give the other one meaning," Rob said.
They were really just creating
a background at this stage. It didn't
have much definition yet, aside
from the sky and the ground.
Shiv looked at the mud and
thought about how to give it
more shape and meaning.
Rob pointed out how the mud
followed the flow of the land and
how to bring out those features.
"Mix up a little more shadow color here,
then we can put us a little shadow right
in there," Rob said. "Don't overdo it --
you want to see little swirls of color still.
Mud is never the same color all through it."
Shiv chuckled, because yeah, he could
see where the mud was browner here
and yellower there and almost black
the farther away from them it went.
"Now let's grow some grass," Rob said.
"Start with Sap Green, add Cadmium Yellow,
and maybe a dab of this Van Dyke Brown ..."
Shiv watched as Rob created grass
with deft flicks of the paintbrush.
There was something soothing
about painting like this, especially
with Rob's lulling voice explaining
how to pull an image out of the brush.
"This looks, um, kind of muddy?"
Alyssa whispered, glancing at Shiv.
"That's okay," Shiv explained. "It's
supposed to look like that. We work
from shadow up toward highlights."
Rob nodded. "Thank you, Shiv,"
he said. "All we're doing here is
applying some dark color so that
the light color will show later on. You
need the dark in order to show the light."
Well, Tolli and Simon had that down pat.
Their canvases looked like a mud fight.
Shiv suppressed the urge to snicker.
The point wasn't to make Great Art,
the point was to have some fun.
From the way Tolli and Simon
were ribbing each other about
their paintings, it was working.
"Now, here's where you need
to start making some decisions,"
Rob said. "Do you want the barn
in your painting? The horses?
It's all up to you -- it's your world."
Shiv looked up to check on that.
The horses had fucked off to
the far end of their little pasture.
They weren't keen on crowds,
having come from rough pasts.
He couldn't really blame them;
usually he felt the same himself,
though today was ... pretty great.
"I'm going to put the barn in
my painting," Rob said. "If you
want to follow along, pick up
your palette knife and let's get
some of this Van Dyke Brown
with a little Alizarin Crimson
and a bit of Cadmium Yellow."
Shiv was fascinated by how Rob
could create a whole building with
just a few swipes of the palette knife.
Once the barn was done, Rob blended
the Cadmium Yellow with Sap Green
to make a pale yellow-green that
he used to highlight some grass.
Then they scattered some bushes
around the edges, just the way
wild roses and berry canes were
trying to take over the whole yard.
"Let’s just blend this little rascal here,
ha! Happy as we can be," Rob said.
Shiv felt the corners of his mouth
tugging up. Rob had a way of
making the world happier.
"How do we put in horses
if we want them?" Leonel said.
"Now that's a good question,"
Rob said. "Look at the horses.
They're way over there, manes
and tails all blowing in the wind.
So we want just a hint of horses,
not too much. Capture the sense
that they're made out of wind."
He used Van Dyke Brown
and Yellow Ochre for most of
the horse part, showing everyone
how to use the fan brush to make
manes and tails blowing around.
It reminded Shiv of the process
for making waterfalls, in a way.
He concentrated on making
the horse hairs go like they would
if they were really blowing in a breeze.
It turned out pretty well -- Shiv could
recognize Walnut and Buttercup --
but the sky was so dark that it looked
like it was about to start storming.
"I think I overdid the clouds a bit,"
he said. "They look too dark.
My painting doesn't look the way
that it's supposed to look."
Rob's was brighter, full of
sunbeams and spring grass.
"Well now, I put a bit of myself
into my painting, and you put a bit
of yourself into yours, so that makes
both of them perfect," Rob said.
"Yeah, but mine is all --" Shiv said,
pointing to the ominous sky that he
hadn't really meant to make so dark.
"Think how boring the world would be
if we were all the same," Rob said easily,
waving the brush between Shiv and himself.
"You need the dark in order to show the light."
"I guess," Shiv said. He frowned at
the painting, trying to figure out how
he could make it a little brighter.
"Of course, if you decide that
you don't like it, then you can
just scrape off that part and put
something else there," Rob said.
Suddenly Shiv saw how to fix it.
"Got it, thanks!" he said, grabbing
the palette knife from his tray.
Instead of trying to take off
the whole damn sky, Shiv used
the palette knife to scrape a hole
in the thick layer of clouds.
Then he mixed Cadmium Yellow
with Titanium White to make
a pale, spring-sunshine color.
He loaded the fan brush and
used it to paint first the sun,
then the sunbeams breaking
through the cloud cover.
It reminded Shiv of how
his life had sucked before,
and how much of a bright spot
Boss White and the Finns made.
Happy with the results, Shiv
stepped back and looked around.
Alyssa had gone a bit nuts with the idea
that you could fix mistakes by scraping
the paint off the canvas, and she
had scraped all of it right off.
Rob moseyed over and said,
"Looks like a rainy day, doesn't it?"
Alyssa blinked. "Yeah, that's what
I was thinking. Like when it rains,
and you can't really see anything
but the colors. It's pretty. That's
not really a painting, though, is it?"
"It is if you like it that way,"
Rob said firmly. "This is
your painting, so you can
do whatever you want in it."
"I'm trying to think how to make,
like, streaks on it so it looks
more like rain," Alyssa said.
"I know a way to do that,"
Rob said. "Want to see?"
"Yes, please," Alyssa said
as she leaned forward.
Shiv couldn't help noticing that
she seemed more interested
than he'd ever seen her.
Rob really could work magic.
"All right, make a little pool of
liquid clear on your palette,"
Rob said. "Now pick up some
of the color from your palette,
any color will do. Drop a bit of it
into the liquid clear. Scrape that
onto your palette knife and just
drip it over the painting. Let it
run down like a little raindrop."
Alyssa followed along. "Wow,"
she said, smiling. "That really
looks like it's raining now!"
"It gets better," Rob said.
"Put as many raindrops as
you want, then let it dry --
might take a week or two
for oil paint. After that, you
cover it with a thick coat of
liquid clear. Don't mess with it,
and it'll dry shiny, like glass."
"So it will really look like
a rainy window," Alyssa said.
"This is turning out so cool."
"What's the point of a painting
that looks just like a window?"
Leonel wondered. "I don't get it."
"So you can hang it where you
don't got a window, duh," said Shiv,
who had lived in plenty places like that.
"Oh, like a virtual window," said Caroline.
"I have one of those in my basement."
"I like it because ... it doesn't make me
want to go out, like if I'm looking at
a picture of a sunny day," said Alyssa.
"If it's raining inside you, Alyssa, just
let it rain until it's done," Rob said solemnly.
"You're not going to tell me to cheer up
already?" she said, looking sideways at him.
"Nope," said Rob. "Remember what we
talked about earlier? Gotta have opposites,
light and dark and dark and light, in painting.
It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in
awhile so you know when the good times come.
You're waiting on the good times now."
"Yeah, I guess I am," Alyssa said.
"Thanks for showing me how to make
my painting rain. It's perfect now, or
will be once it dries and I can put
the clear window effect over it."
"That's wonderful," Rob said.
"I knew you could do it -- when
you're painting, you can do anything!"
That's what Shiv loved about painting,
in fact: the limitless power it gave him.
Having fixed the sky, he went back
and added a few more highlights
to the barn. He added some violets
on the ground, tiny dabs of purple
that popped out against the lines
of light yellow-green grass.
Finally, because Shiv always put
something sharp in his paintings, he
leaned Simon's scythe against the barn.
"Well now, you sure figured out how to put
a personal touch on yours," Rob observed.
"Yeah," Shiv said. "I learned that from you."
Rob smiled, his whole face crinkling up.
"I'm so happy to hear that," he said. "I live
to help people discover themselves in paint."
By then, most of the people had finished
their paintings, or close to it, so Rob
showed them how to sign the canvas.
People moved around a little more,
looking at each other's paintings.
Tolli and Simon had made a wreck
of theirs, and clearly didn't care.
Everyone was fascinated by
Alyssa's rainy window and
Shiv's sun-through-clouds with
the horses in the background.
Barbara Allen's mud looked
more like sand. Leonel had
concentrated on the trees and
bushes with their little birds.
Caroline had ignored barn,
horses, and all in favor of
painting the blacksmith shop.
"I've got my camera," Simon said.
"Who wants pictures of their pictures?"
The other folks piled together and
took snapshots of their paintings,
then the group, then another of
the group holding their paintings.
Shiv backed away from the ruckus
and shuffled back and forth, trying
to figure out his damn fool feelings.
He wanted to have something
to remember the day by, because
it was awesome, but he was afraid
to ask and wasn't sure what to do.
Tolli watched him fidgeting for a while,
then asked, "Do you need something?"
"Could you ... takeapictureofus?"
Shiv blurted. "Me and Rob, together?"
"We sure can," Tolli said. "Simon,
aim that camera over here, please."
Rob was happy to stand with
Shiv, and didn't try to grope him,
just made a warm presence
pressed against his side.
"Hey Shiv ... if you turn like
you're looking at something,
then your face won't show,"
Alyssa said. "We could shoot
another group photo that way."
Shiv hesitated. He hated pictures,
but today had been so amazing.
"Yeah, okay," he said. "Go for it."
Ironically Shiv was one of
the tallest people in the pose,
because so many of them used
wheelchairs. He leaned against
Tolli for support, but he made it
through the photo without bolting.
When Shiv looked at the pictures,
he didn't feel queasy like usual.
He felt like he could do anything,
because it was his world.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its character, location, and content notes will appear separately.
crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from fuzzyred. It also fills the "when the world is mud-luscious" square in my 1-3-21 card for the Fresh Starts Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with ng_moonmoth, fuzzyred, and zianuray. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series."The Contrast of Light and Dark"
[Sunday, March 27, 2016]
Shiv ambled out of the house
to see Tolli in the driveway, talking
with some guy he didn't know.
The guest wore a pale blue shirt
over darker blue jeans, and he leaned
against an old rustbucket of a car.
He was skinny and wrinkled with
a white Afro like a dandelion puff.
Then the wind shifted, carrying a bit
of the conversation toward Shiv,
and the familiar sound stroked
over his skin like Microfyne.
Shiv stopped in his tracks
and squeaked on the inhale.
"Rob Ross," he said. "Holy shit,
that's Rob Ross. Holy shit!"
"Yes, we've known him a while,
since we both work with veterans,"
Simon said, pushing gently from behind.
"We weren't expecting him today, though.
I wonder what's come up -- hope it's not bad."
"I, I don't think so," Shiv said. "They both
look pretty relaxed. Maybe he just was
in the area and decided to swing by?"
"Well, let's go find out," Simon said,
and wheeled down the driveway.
Shiv followed him, all nerves at
the idea of meeting Rob Ross,
but utterly unwilling to miss out.
"... flooded the whole darn building,
can you believe it?" Rob was saying.
"So they had to cancel the class, and
hopefully they can find another place
so we can do it tomorrow instead."
"That's pesky," said Tolli. "Anything
we can do to help with the hassle?"
"I thought I'd drop by and see if I
could hang out here today," Rob said.
"Paint the horses, maybe even get
a few folks together if you know
anyone who might be interested."
Shiv concentrated on not hopping
up and down squealing, "Me, me!"
because that never ended well.
Tolli looked at him, eyes twinkling
in the way that reminded Shiv of
where Heron had got that smile of his.
"Oh, I'm sure we can scare up a few."
"I um, would be interested if there's
an opening," Shiv said, licking his lips.
"Barbara Allen who was at the wedding,
she's an artist, she paints shells and stuff.
We should invite Alyssa too, because
she needs something to make her smile."
Alyssa was still learning how to use
a wheelchair, and bummed about
needing one in the first place.
"Rob, this is Shiv, one of
our newer family members,"
Tolli said. "Shiv, this is
Rob Ross. Sometimes he
comes out here and does
workshops for our veterans."
"Should I not take up the space,
then?" Shiv said, trying not to let
his disappointment show. "I mean,
if someone else needs it more ..."
"Then we'll put up another spot
to paint," Rob said. "I have my stuff
in the car. We'll be working outside."
"Sounds great," Simon said. "I wouldn't
mind murdering a canvas myself."
Shiv burst into giggles. He couldn't
help it. Tolli and Simon probably had
the worst color sense of any gay guys
that Shiv had ever even heard of.
"Me too," Tolli said. "I want to call
Caroline and see if she's available.
She might like painting something
with a brush big enough to grip."
"Leonel too," Simon suggested.
"He loves leading crafts in the park."
They bounced around a few other names,
but Shiv didn't recognize the others.
One or another of the Italians might
give it a try too, which was fine.
"I'll make some calls," Simon said
when they finally settled the list.
"That's great, I'll get my stuff
out of the car," Rob said.
Shiv watched him pop the trunk
and then wondered how all of
that junk even fit in there.
There was paint and thinner,
brushes, palettes, and buckets.
The back seat held a stack of easels,
the portable kind that folded flat.
Rob was trying to carry
way too much stuff at once,
and nearly dropped some of it.
"You uh, wantsomehelpsettingup?"
Shiv said all at once, still nervous.
"Sure, that's real nice of you to offer,"
Rob said warmly, smiling at him.
Shiv didn't freak over the compliment,
for once. Rob was nice to everyone,
and worrying about him was kind of
ridiculous. Shiv was just flustered
because he wasn't used to meeting
anyone he actually looked up to.
Fortunately, his experience from
Blues Moon helped a lot, because
Shiv was used to setting up for
graduation parties and such.
Rob picked a spot out in the yard
and they spread out the easels.
"See, we got the barn, the horses
if they feel like posing for us, and
that nice fence -- it's spring, so I
guess we'll just have to imagine
the roses," Rob said, pointing.
"It's uh, mostly berry canes, but
some roses," Shiv remembered.
"On the fence, yeah, but in
your painting, those old vines
are whatever you want," Rob said.
"Blackberries, roses, even grapes."
Shiv couldn't help smiling. "Yeah,
maybe. My grandparents have grapes."
He remembered how they looked in
the sun, purple-black dusted with white,
and how in the spring the vines would
leaf out in pale green hinted with pink.
It didn't take too long to get the place
set up for a painting class, and it
didn't take much longer before
people started to arrive.
Leonel was the first one
to get there, all excited about
painting nature with Rob Ross.
Shiv made sure that the place
they'd chosen for the view would
also work okay with people's wheels.
"No problem, the grass is short and
I'm used to rambling over rougher ground
than this at work," Leonel assured them.
Alyssa was much more subdued,
but Shiv was used to that.
"Hey, you wanna sit by me?"
he offered. "That way, nobody
can see what you're doing."
"Good, because it will
probably suck," Alyssa said.
"Well now, we don't know that yet,"
Shiv said. "You might find out that
you're good at it. Or maybe it'll be
like Simon -- you get a kick out of
murdering a canvas now and then."
Alyssa huffed a little, which was
as close as she got to laughing.
"Okay," she said, and Shiv
would call that a win.
When Barbara Allan
showed up, she got into
a discussion about whether
she could paint on things
other than canvas.
She'd brought along
some giant sand dollars
and a big slab of driftwood
that probably started out
as part of a door.
"Try it and find out,"
Rob encouraged her.
"If it doesn't work, you can
always try something new."
Caroline bounded out of
her car like a dog who'd been
cooped up inside for too long.
"Do you really think I can paint?"
she asked, holding up her hands.
The swan rings gleamed silver where
they held her knuckles in place. "I have
trouble holding things sometimes."
"Everyone can paint," Rob said warmly.
"If you don't like the handle, then just
slap a big old wad of tape on that brush.
Mash it around until the grip feels good."
"Yeah, that should work," Shiv said.
"I've done it with other stuff before.
If you have some Splae, you can
make a handle that actually lasts."
Simon nodded. "We always keep
some of that in the house," he said.
"Caroline, I suggest that you experiment
with tape to find out what handle shape
feels comfortable for you. Then use
the Splae to make a permanent version.
That stuff holds grip ridges really well."
"Thanks, Simon, I'll try that,"
Caroline said, and bounced
over to claim one of the easels.
There were a few other people, but
not so many that it was uncomfortable,
since not everyone who got an invitation
had been able to make it out to the class.
Tolli and Simon had predictably set up
next to each other, clearly not caring about
the quality of art, just wanting to have fun.
"All right, the canvases are ready to paint,
except for one thing," Rob said. "They need
a coat of liquid white so that you can push
the colors around. Let's do that now."
Shiv already knew how to do this bit,
so he grabbed the biggest brush
and slapped on the base coat.
"This is ... um ..." Alyssa said,
struggling with her own brush.
"It's real simple, but you gotta find
what works for you," Shiv said.
"Side to side or up and down?
Try both, then pick a favorite."
Rob was going up and down,
and everyone was copying him,
which wasn't necessarily best.
Alyssa fumbled around a bit more,
then said, "Oh! Side to side. Then
it doesn't bump against my chair."
"See, I knew you could do it,"
Shiv said, grinning at her.
"Now, let's set up our palettes,"
Rob said, and named the colors
that they would be using today.
Shiv loved the fact that Rob
could paint -- and show you
how to do it too -- with less
than a dozen colors.
It wasn't like an art store
with a hundred tubes of paint.
You only needed a few colors.
"When you buy your first tube of paint,
you get your artist's license there," Rob said.
"Read it -- it says you can do anything you
want to do, at least on this piece of canvas.
This piece of canvas is your world."
Shiv gave a happy sigh. Just like
when he painted at home, especially
if he used a Rob Ross video for
inspiration, all his worries
seemed to fall away.
"A world of mud,"
someone muttered,
and the others laughed.
"Look around and see what
we have to work with," Rob said.
"I love painting ... in just spring
when the world is mud-luscious
and the little lame balloonman
whistles far and wee."
"That's a favorite poem,"
said Barbara Allan.
"I'm happy to hear that,"
said Rob. "Let's start with
an almighty sky. Load up
your brush with Phthalo Blue ..."
Shiv followed along, watching
Rob work, and glancing up
to see the pale blue-gray sky.
They laid down the sky with
soft little circles, blended it, then
added some happy little clouds.
After that, they moved on
to mix paint for the mud,
using Yellow Ochre and
Van Dyke Brown and just
a little bit of Alizarin Crimson.
"Let these colors mix in the brush
and that way you have a multitude
of things happening right here in
the brush," Rob said. "You don't
have to spend a lot of time trying
to mix all these different colors."
Shiv remembered that from working
with pastels, the way you could sprinkle
crumbs over the picture for pops of color.
They painted the mud, laying the ground
underneath the blue sky to divide
the canvas into a landscape.
"Mine's too dark," Leonel grumbled.
"I don't know what to do with it."
"Don't worry about that yet. We
will get to the highlights soon enough.
Put light against light – you have nothing.
Put dark against dark – you have nothing.
It’s the contrast of light and dark that each
give the other one meaning," Rob said.
They were really just creating
a background at this stage. It didn't
have much definition yet, aside
from the sky and the ground.
Shiv looked at the mud and
thought about how to give it
more shape and meaning.
Rob pointed out how the mud
followed the flow of the land and
how to bring out those features.
"Mix up a little more shadow color here,
then we can put us a little shadow right
in there," Rob said. "Don't overdo it --
you want to see little swirls of color still.
Mud is never the same color all through it."
Shiv chuckled, because yeah, he could
see where the mud was browner here
and yellower there and almost black
the farther away from them it went.
"Now let's grow some grass," Rob said.
"Start with Sap Green, add Cadmium Yellow,
and maybe a dab of this Van Dyke Brown ..."
Shiv watched as Rob created grass
with deft flicks of the paintbrush.
There was something soothing
about painting like this, especially
with Rob's lulling voice explaining
how to pull an image out of the brush.
"This looks, um, kind of muddy?"
Alyssa whispered, glancing at Shiv.
"That's okay," Shiv explained. "It's
supposed to look like that. We work
from shadow up toward highlights."
Rob nodded. "Thank you, Shiv,"
he said. "All we're doing here is
applying some dark color so that
the light color will show later on. You
need the dark in order to show the light."
Well, Tolli and Simon had that down pat.
Their canvases looked like a mud fight.
Shiv suppressed the urge to snicker.
The point wasn't to make Great Art,
the point was to have some fun.
From the way Tolli and Simon
were ribbing each other about
their paintings, it was working.
"Now, here's where you need
to start making some decisions,"
Rob said. "Do you want the barn
in your painting? The horses?
It's all up to you -- it's your world."
Shiv looked up to check on that.
The horses had fucked off to
the far end of their little pasture.
They weren't keen on crowds,
having come from rough pasts.
He couldn't really blame them;
usually he felt the same himself,
though today was ... pretty great.
"I'm going to put the barn in
my painting," Rob said. "If you
want to follow along, pick up
your palette knife and let's get
some of this Van Dyke Brown
with a little Alizarin Crimson
and a bit of Cadmium Yellow."
Shiv was fascinated by how Rob
could create a whole building with
just a few swipes of the palette knife.
Once the barn was done, Rob blended
the Cadmium Yellow with Sap Green
to make a pale yellow-green that
he used to highlight some grass.
Then they scattered some bushes
around the edges, just the way
wild roses and berry canes were
trying to take over the whole yard.
"Let’s just blend this little rascal here,
ha! Happy as we can be," Rob said.
Shiv felt the corners of his mouth
tugging up. Rob had a way of
making the world happier.
"How do we put in horses
if we want them?" Leonel said.
"Now that's a good question,"
Rob said. "Look at the horses.
They're way over there, manes
and tails all blowing in the wind.
So we want just a hint of horses,
not too much. Capture the sense
that they're made out of wind."
He used Van Dyke Brown
and Yellow Ochre for most of
the horse part, showing everyone
how to use the fan brush to make
manes and tails blowing around.
It reminded Shiv of the process
for making waterfalls, in a way.
He concentrated on making
the horse hairs go like they would
if they were really blowing in a breeze.
It turned out pretty well -- Shiv could
recognize Walnut and Buttercup --
but the sky was so dark that it looked
like it was about to start storming.
"I think I overdid the clouds a bit,"
he said. "They look too dark.
My painting doesn't look the way
that it's supposed to look."
Rob's was brighter, full of
sunbeams and spring grass.
"Well now, I put a bit of myself
into my painting, and you put a bit
of yourself into yours, so that makes
both of them perfect," Rob said.
"Yeah, but mine is all --" Shiv said,
pointing to the ominous sky that he
hadn't really meant to make so dark.
"Think how boring the world would be
if we were all the same," Rob said easily,
waving the brush between Shiv and himself.
"You need the dark in order to show the light."
"I guess," Shiv said. He frowned at
the painting, trying to figure out how
he could make it a little brighter.
"Of course, if you decide that
you don't like it, then you can
just scrape off that part and put
something else there," Rob said.
Suddenly Shiv saw how to fix it.
"Got it, thanks!" he said, grabbing
the palette knife from his tray.
Instead of trying to take off
the whole damn sky, Shiv used
the palette knife to scrape a hole
in the thick layer of clouds.
Then he mixed Cadmium Yellow
with Titanium White to make
a pale, spring-sunshine color.
He loaded the fan brush and
used it to paint first the sun,
then the sunbeams breaking
through the cloud cover.
It reminded Shiv of how
his life had sucked before,
and how much of a bright spot
Boss White and the Finns made.
Happy with the results, Shiv
stepped back and looked around.
Alyssa had gone a bit nuts with the idea
that you could fix mistakes by scraping
the paint off the canvas, and she
had scraped all of it right off.
Rob moseyed over and said,
"Looks like a rainy day, doesn't it?"
Alyssa blinked. "Yeah, that's what
I was thinking. Like when it rains,
and you can't really see anything
but the colors. It's pretty. That's
not really a painting, though, is it?"
"It is if you like it that way,"
Rob said firmly. "This is
your painting, so you can
do whatever you want in it."
"I'm trying to think how to make,
like, streaks on it so it looks
more like rain," Alyssa said.
"I know a way to do that,"
Rob said. "Want to see?"
"Yes, please," Alyssa said
as she leaned forward.
Shiv couldn't help noticing that
she seemed more interested
than he'd ever seen her.
Rob really could work magic.
"All right, make a little pool of
liquid clear on your palette,"
Rob said. "Now pick up some
of the color from your palette,
any color will do. Drop a bit of it
into the liquid clear. Scrape that
onto your palette knife and just
drip it over the painting. Let it
run down like a little raindrop."
Alyssa followed along. "Wow,"
she said, smiling. "That really
looks like it's raining now!"
"It gets better," Rob said.
"Put as many raindrops as
you want, then let it dry --
might take a week or two
for oil paint. After that, you
cover it with a thick coat of
liquid clear. Don't mess with it,
and it'll dry shiny, like glass."
"So it will really look like
a rainy window," Alyssa said.
"This is turning out so cool."
"What's the point of a painting
that looks just like a window?"
Leonel wondered. "I don't get it."
"So you can hang it where you
don't got a window, duh," said Shiv,
who had lived in plenty places like that.
"Oh, like a virtual window," said Caroline.
"I have one of those in my basement."
"I like it because ... it doesn't make me
want to go out, like if I'm looking at
a picture of a sunny day," said Alyssa.
"If it's raining inside you, Alyssa, just
let it rain until it's done," Rob said solemnly.
"You're not going to tell me to cheer up
already?" she said, looking sideways at him.
"Nope," said Rob. "Remember what we
talked about earlier? Gotta have opposites,
light and dark and dark and light, in painting.
It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in
awhile so you know when the good times come.
You're waiting on the good times now."
"Yeah, I guess I am," Alyssa said.
"Thanks for showing me how to make
my painting rain. It's perfect now, or
will be once it dries and I can put
the clear window effect over it."
"That's wonderful," Rob said.
"I knew you could do it -- when
you're painting, you can do anything!"
That's what Shiv loved about painting,
in fact: the limitless power it gave him.
Having fixed the sky, he went back
and added a few more highlights
to the barn. He added some violets
on the ground, tiny dabs of purple
that popped out against the lines
of light yellow-green grass.
Finally, because Shiv always put
something sharp in his paintings, he
leaned Simon's scythe against the barn.
"Well now, you sure figured out how to put
a personal touch on yours," Rob observed.
"Yeah," Shiv said. "I learned that from you."
Rob smiled, his whole face crinkling up.
"I'm so happy to hear that," he said. "I live
to help people discover themselves in paint."
By then, most of the people had finished
their paintings, or close to it, so Rob
showed them how to sign the canvas.
People moved around a little more,
looking at each other's paintings.
Tolli and Simon had made a wreck
of theirs, and clearly didn't care.
Everyone was fascinated by
Alyssa's rainy window and
Shiv's sun-through-clouds with
the horses in the background.
Barbara Allen's mud looked
more like sand. Leonel had
concentrated on the trees and
bushes with their little birds.
Caroline had ignored barn,
horses, and all in favor of
painting the blacksmith shop.
"I've got my camera," Simon said.
"Who wants pictures of their pictures?"
The other folks piled together and
took snapshots of their paintings,
then the group, then another of
the group holding their paintings.
Shiv backed away from the ruckus
and shuffled back and forth, trying
to figure out his damn fool feelings.
He wanted to have something
to remember the day by, because
it was awesome, but he was afraid
to ask and wasn't sure what to do.
Tolli watched him fidgeting for a while,
then asked, "Do you need something?"
"Could you ... takeapictureofus?"
Shiv blurted. "Me and Rob, together?"
"We sure can," Tolli said. "Simon,
aim that camera over here, please."
Rob was happy to stand with
Shiv, and didn't try to grope him,
just made a warm presence
pressed against his side.
"Hey Shiv ... if you turn like
you're looking at something,
then your face won't show,"
Alyssa said. "We could shoot
another group photo that way."
Shiv hesitated. He hated pictures,
but today had been so amazing.
"Yeah, okay," he said. "Go for it."
Ironically Shiv was one of
the tallest people in the pose,
because so many of them used
wheelchairs. He leaned against
Tolli for support, but he made it
through the photo without bolting.
When Shiv looked at the pictures,
he didn't feel queasy like usual.
He felt like he could do anything,
because it was his world.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its character, location, and content notes will appear separately.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 04:28 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2021-03-23 04:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 06:19 am (UTC)That's what I do when I travel. Jewelry is good, as it lasts and can be quite distinctive. I also have a carved shell knickknack somewhere, a small sculpture, postcards, seashells from a family beach trip...
If I pull them out to look at, I remember the trips and shopping for souvenirs and meeting interesting people and being happy, and all the other things that connect to those.
And the mementos don't have to be large or fancy or expensive, they just have to be something that means something to you, that will connect to your memories.
Yes ...
Date: 2021-03-23 06:38 am (UTC)Shiv also loves small, interesting objects. Not the kitchy knickknacks, but fidgets, natural items, small sculptures, etc. He has a basket of them in the living room and I'd bet that's a small subset of a larger collection. He likes to fondle things. I suspect that, like many artists, he also enjoys having a collection of cool things to make still life scenes with, because still life is a great way to practice many techniques, and Shiv enjoys tutorial videos and written exercises for art. It lets him try repeatedly until he's happy with the results, without anyone yelling at him, and it can be done indoors on days with crappy weather.
Shiv is juuuust getting to a point where he occasionally feels safe with pictures, or at least, safe enough to give it a try. He's also starting to have experiences that he really wants to remember -- I think this is the first time he has requested a photo for that purpose.
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2021-03-30 09:47 pm (UTC)Re: Yes ...
Date: 2021-03-30 10:21 pm (UTC)Re: Yes ...
Date: 2021-03-30 10:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 12:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 01:10 pm (UTC)Thank you
Date: 2021-03-24 02:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-25 03:48 pm (UTC)I'm just getting back to reading my blog friends after a long while off. In this one, with the changes in Shiv that I see rather suddenly instead of gradually in the time that I have missed, makes me really happy for him.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-30 09:48 pm (UTC)Yes ...
Date: 2021-03-30 10:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-12-20 03:38 am (UTC)Love this one.
Thank you!
Date: 2025-12-20 04:25 am (UTC)