To clarify, the zoomwagon crew are Platonic Life Partners, and Danys is dating just Bethan or Bethan and Molly?
Hmmm...Dave's framing sounds remarkably similar to a single mom with a special needs kid, on why she's still single. Which might actually be an option for a future relationship for Dave.
1) A good guy who is going to help you take care of your kids is a catch. Goes double or triple if there are complicating issues. Heck, any guy who does emotional labor is a good catch.
2) A ready-made extended family (poly or otherwise) would be an /asset/ in that case. Five people can more easily trade off babysitting or overnight care than two or three. There's more help for last minute emergencies, driving places, or having more month than money.
3) A single mom with special-needs kids won't have as many offers to choose from, so turning down everyone with any sort of 'baggage' isn't feaseable if she wants a boyfriend. She'd actually have to consider pros, cons, and dealbreakers.
4) Given how friendly the Finns are, it is entirely possible that such a person could get picked up by the Finn Network and bond with the household /as a neighbor or friend/ before being a potential partner.
>>compersion<< >>Judging from the reactions I sometimes get, it's really a feeling that most people not only don't have but can't comprehend.<<
That may be a cultural thing, not an evolutionary one.
Americans are big on individuality and possession, so anything that threatens the idea of your being special and irreplaceable, or that is percieved to take away some of your availible resources will get an extremely negative reaction.
Plus if it isn't a cultural concept most people are exposed to, it would likely be harder to recognize, even if you do have it.
A similar-ish emotional concept I have experienced but do not have a word for is "I approve/appreciate that you are protecting a mutual loved one from me [whether the threat is real or percieved] even if it makes my life more difficult." For example, protective dad approving of daughter's boyfriend trying to protect Daughter from the strange man [dad] who just walked over and started a conversation. Or more generally, calling someone out for being prejudiced, a jerk, stepping on a Trauma Button, etc.
There was at least one culture where it was /expected/ that women would have multiple sex partners, who would all be the father if pregnancy resulted...
...and I remember in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, one of the matriarchs chose her husband's concubines, and arraigned it so everyone was compatible in order to have a harmonious household. (To be fair, culturally the marriage was essentially a business thing and they got along decently well, not an emotional attatchment, and they got along decently well.)
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dancing_serpent
Re: LOVELY!
Date: 2021-03-21 01:52 am (UTC)Hmmm...Dave's framing sounds remarkably similar to a single mom with a special needs kid, on why she's still single. Which might actually be an option for a future relationship for Dave.
1) A good guy who is going to help you take care of your kids is a catch. Goes double or triple if there are complicating issues. Heck, any guy who does emotional labor is a good catch.
2) A ready-made extended family (poly or otherwise) would be an /asset/ in that case. Five people can more easily trade off babysitting or overnight care than two or three. There's more help for last minute emergencies, driving places, or having more month than money.
3) A single mom with special-needs kids won't have as many offers to choose from, so turning down everyone with any sort of 'baggage' isn't feaseable if she wants a boyfriend. She'd actually have to consider pros, cons, and dealbreakers.
4) Given how friendly the Finns are, it is entirely possible that such a person could get picked up by the Finn Network and bond with the household /as a neighbor or friend/ before being a potential partner.
>>compersion<<
>>Judging from the reactions I sometimes get, it's really a feeling that most people not only don't have but can't comprehend.<<
That may be a cultural thing, not an evolutionary one.
Americans are big on individuality and possession, so anything that threatens the idea of your being special and irreplaceable, or that is percieved to take away some of your availible resources will get an extremely negative reaction.
Plus if it isn't a cultural concept most people are exposed to, it would likely be harder to recognize, even if you do have it.
A similar-ish emotional concept I have experienced but do not have a word for is "I approve/appreciate that you are protecting a mutual loved one from me [whether the threat is real or percieved] even if it makes my life more difficult." For example, protective dad approving of daughter's boyfriend trying to protect Daughter from the strange man [dad] who just walked over and started a conversation. Or more generally, calling someone out for being prejudiced, a jerk, stepping on a Trauma Button, etc.
There was at least one culture where it was /expected/ that women would have multiple sex partners, who would all be the father if pregnancy resulted...
...and I remember in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, one of the matriarchs chose her husband's concubines, and arraigned it so everyone was compatible in order to have a harmonious household. (To be fair, culturally the marriage was essentially a business thing and they got along decently well, not an emotional attatchment, and they got along decently well.)