How to Host an Introvert Party
Jan. 3rd, 2021 01:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithI got to talking about introvert parties with a friend, and I figured other folks would enjoy that too. Please share these resources widely, as I would love to see this become common here.
I have described introvert parties from Terramagne, where they are a common adjunct to more boisterous parties or social events, and sometime happen by themselves too. This is totally replicable with local-Earth resources, no superpowers required.
"What You Think You Know"
"Whatever You Seek"
"Dance in the Sun"
"Not So Much in Words"
"If You Talk to Him in His Language"
"Fresh Air in Your Brain"
"The Man Who Missed the Mammoths"
"Put Yourself in the Right Lighting" (description of the Introvert Store)
Understand that extroverts and introverts have different tastes in socializing. Extroverts enjoy interacting with many casual friends in a stimulating environment. Introverts prefer interacting deeply with a few friends in a relaxing environment. Both are natural and healthy, but not always an easy mix, because they have opposed needs. Know how to care for each type. Introvert parties are quieter and calmer than extrovert parties. They provide opportunities to hang out and talk in small groups.
Introverts often continue to enjoy solitary, parallel, and associate play even as adults. Screw the experts who insist that not outgrowing these means something is wrong with you. Play how you damn please. If someone is telling you what to do, it's not play, it's work.
To achieve this objective, first keep the guest list small. A handful of people is plenty for most contexts. If you have a large space with different rooms or outdoor areas, then you can invite more people and let them divide into little clusters based on various interests. At a large party or social event, designate one area as the introvert party. Put up a sign at the entrance and a few other signs elsewhere with arrows.
Activities
Think about what introverts like to do. Encourage guests to bring lapwork like knitting, crochet, or sewing. Make a list of quiet activities and then provide options. If you have a big list, you can subdivide it and offer different combinations or themes at different events. Possibilities include:
* Jigsaw puzzles
* Puzzle books or magazines
* Coloring books and art supplies for all ages
* Scrapbook supplies to document a social event in progress
* Magazines to read
* Picture books for children and coffee table books for adults
* Tabletop games , including solo roleplaying games (this was my inspiration)
* Pencil and paper games
* Construction toys
* Fidgets that don't make noise
* Buddha board or desktop Zen garden
* Quiet activities for kids
* Conversation starters on deep, interesting topics to avoid the torment of smalltalk
Decorations
Introvert parties cater to people who find most parties painfully overstimulating. If you are renting a venue, make sure it's well away from noisy distractions. Aim for a relaxing atmosphere. Use quiet room decor as inspiration.
* lighting slightly dimmed
* houseplants
* bubble wall or aquarium
* mist fountain or fog machine
* tabletop water fountain
* slow TV of a birdfeeder, river, etc. Or Bob Ross.
* book nook with cozy chair, lamp, end table, and bookshelf
* sturdy chairs with arms and back support
* beanbags or floor cushions
* afghans or blankets
* guest-friendly pets
* window birdfeeder or nature window
Refreshments
Introverts rarely enjoy the boisterous atmosphere created by copious alcohol. If you serve alcohol at all, limit the quantity and proof to minimize the risk of loud drunks disrupting the peace. You need festive beverages which equal or exceed the excitement of alcohol. Ideally, you want to offer a range of simples and mocktails. Invest in some gourmet ingredients that people won't have seen often, like artisan soda or rare fruits, to make the occasion feel special. Remember that garnishes aren't just decorative: they distinguish similar-looking drinks to avoid mistakes. You can make or buy drink charms to identify which container is whose.
15 Essential Cocktail Bitters and How to Use Them
Alcohol-Free Extracts & Flavorings
Best NA Beers
Best NA Wines
Best Regional Soda in Each State
Best Sparkling Juices
Mocktails You'll Actually Want to Drink
Baby Shower Mocktails
You can also learn to make your own sodas. Nothing says awesome host like whipping out a can of CO2. But mixing syrup with a base fizzy works just as well. You want an assortment of bases (club soda, sparkling water, ginger ale, etc.) and mix-ins (syrups, bitters, juices, etc.).
Brewing Your Own Soda
Make Your Own Soda
50 Homemade Soda Recipes
19 Simple Syrups
Soda Equipment
Remember that "a bar" isn't just for alcohol. You can set up all kinds of options for guests to enjoy. Because they are less common, they feel special and exciting.
Italian Soda Bar
Hot Chocolate Bar
Hot Cider Bar
If you want drinks that do something, the way alcohol or coffee do, then look up herbs, superfoods, and adaptogens. You can serve drinks with ingredients that are soothing, uplifting, or whatever you like. Many types of tea make a fantastic base for mixed drinks.
Herbs for Tea
Relaxing Herbs
Energizing Herbs
Mood Boosting Herbs
Superfood Powder Mix-ins
Adaptogens
Party foods add to the festive mood. Provide a range of options from healthy to indulgent. Make sure there are foods that everyone can enjoy. A potluck makes a nice casual event. You can also create a sandwich bar with popular ingredients. Any kind of DIY food bar makes it easy to accommodate diverse dietary needs and tastes. Here are some more ideas:
11 of the Most Indulgent Party Foods
16 Epic Party Food Bars
19 Homemade Salad Bar Plans You Can DIY Easily
26 Packaged Snacks To Eat When You're Trying To Be Healthy
52 Healthy Finger Foods
100 Super Fast Finger Foods to Serve a Crowd
Allergy-Friendly Party Treats (Batman theme)
Allergy-Friendly Superbowl Recipes (American football theme)
Best Soup Bar Ideas for a Party
How to Make a Party Tray
Make It Your Own Soup Bar
Party Foods By Category
Taco Bar Checklist
Top 8 Free Allergy-Friendly Recipes
Yogurt Parfait Bar
Themes
While there are oodles of party themes, many of those are more boisterous than introverts really enjoy. Here are some quieter ideas.
* Badger Pajamas -- A pajama party with an earthy, underground theme. Badgers, mushrooms, and snakes.
* Birdday Party -- A birthday party for the birds.
* Blackout Party -- Often spontaneous, as people need something to do when the power goes out. Here are some games and activities. I listed some games for blind people and blackouts here, followed by inclusive games from Terramagne some of which are easy to make.
* Blanket Fort -- Provide a wide range of blankets, sheets, pillows, floor cushions, and other components for guests to make cozy hideaways. If you're feeling ambitious, you can include a fort building kit based on frames. SquishyFort is the best of the cushion kits, though not always available; flip chairs make a decent substitute. The FORT will offer more cushion shapes, intended to launch on Kickstarter in 2021. These kits aren't cheap, but some of them are spectactular, so if you're a big fan of indoor forts then consider investing in good equipment. You can also make your own fort building kit.
* Bob Ross Painting Party -- A few friends, some art supplies, and the most soothing voice in the world.
* Bubble Party -- Fun, beautiful, and quiet aside from the delighted sounds of participants. As people will probably get wet and soapy: 1) provide a bathroom, 2) encourage guests to wear practical clothes, and 3) it's a good idea to have dry clothes to change into afterwards.
* Campfire Circle -- Food, music, and/or storytelling in a quiet rustic setting. Rise Up Singing is an excellent investment.
* Chalk Art Party -- Either a sidewalk or a wide paved area like a driveway will work. Explore chalk recipes and activities.
* Moon Viewing -- Tsukimi is an Asian tradition. This is delightful in a Zen garden but you can do it anywhere with a good view of the night sky.
* Music Night -- Introverts seem to prefer quieter music on average than extroverts. Think acoustic guitar more than electric. Consider these travel instruments.
* Pajama Party -- It's all about relaxing and having fun while you lounge around in your jammies. This is especially fun if your folks like colorful or funny nightwear.
* Party in the Park -- Choose a time away from major holidays and many parks are nearly deserted. Nature hikes and related activities are often a hit with introverts. So are nature crafts for children or adults.
* Poetry Reading -- Many introverts enjoy poetry. Perform some and and hold discussion afterwards. Provide pencils, paper, and reference books or worksheets for those who wish to try writing poems.
* Stargazing -- This is especially fun during a meteor shower or other interesting celestial event, but the awesome thing about astronomy is that something interesting happens almost every night. If you live far enough north, there's no beating the aurora.
* Waterfront Party -- A secluded beach, pond, lake, river, etc. makes a peaceful venue for day or night activities.
* Work Bee -- Often a hit with introverts, as they like having something to do other than just talk. Buy a bushel of something, sit down to clean and can it -- people will naturally talk while they work. Craft circles work similarly: crocheting, embroidery, knitting, quilting, etc.
Introvert Holidays
While most holidays focus on larger gatherings, some really lend themselves to solo or small group enjoyment. Of course it counts if your introvert party has a guest list of 1!
* World Introvert Day (January 2) -- Celebrate this holiday alone, or alone together.
* Universal Letter Writing Week (2nd week of January) -- Practice the fading art of letter writing. This is perfect for a virtual party. Find some interested friends and send each other letters. You might include artist trading cards or handmade greeting cards, which are popular for exchanges.
* Galentines Day (February 13) -- This holiday honors female friendships, but works for any gender. It's ideal for celebrating with your best friend, or a small group of friends.
* Half-Price Chocolate Day (February 15) -- The day after Valentine's Day is great for chocolate lovers, solo or in small groups.
* Plan a Solo Vacation Day (March 1) -- Go somewhere fun, or take a virtual trip.
* National Siblings Day (April 10) -- Take time to strengthen family ties today. No birth siblings? Celebrate with a hanai sibling instead.
* Garden Week (2nd week in April) -- Plant a garden alone or with friends. No room? Guerilla garden! No skill? Seed bombs! Ideal as a virtual party: you and your long-distance friends each seedbomb your hometown and share pictures.
* Ace Day (various) -- Several days have been used; May 8 is popular. Originally a digital holiday for the asexual-aromantic spectrum, it also works in facetime. The cake is not a lie! In fact, get some friends and bake the most delicious and elaborate cakes you can imagine. Picture perfect cakes. Layer cakes. Gourmet cakes. Healthy cakes. Anything that says "Cake is better than sex."
* Best Friends Day (June 8) -- Plan something with your bestie(s).
* Embrace Your Geekness Day (July 13) -- Indulge in your passion, alone or with friends.
* Book Lovers Day (August 9) -- Lounge around reading together, put up a Little Free Library, or go on a BookCrossing quest to seek or release books.
* Hobbit Birthday (September 22) and Tolkien Week -- Go barefoot, throw a feast, and give presents to your friends. "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
* International Sloth Day (October 20) -- Relaxed and solitary, sloths get no respect. Sound familiar? Screw that. Start the day with nothing to do, and finish with half of it done!
* Friendsgiving (November) -- A replacement or addition for Thanksgiving, this is another feast holiday. It's ideal for people whose family of choice plays a larger role than their birth family. It can be any size or complexity you want.
* Singles' Day (November 11) -- A celebration of solitary life. Enjoy it alone or with your single friends.
* Wolfenoot (November 23) -- A holiday honoring wolves, dogs, and other canines. It includes a gift hunt and a feast.
* Make a Gift Day (December 3) -- This is a perfect time for a craft party, whether or not it is holiday themed. Spare your introvert friends the misery of a mall trip and enjoy a quiet day making your own presents.
* Wright Brothers Day (December 17) -- Your choice of activities involving airplanes or bicycles. If you're into museums, there are some of both. You could also stay home and watch documentaries with your friends.
Host Obligations
As the host, it is your responsibility to facilitate everyone having a good time. There are two polite approaches to this.
1) Plan a thematic event and invite only guests who enjoy that sort of thing. Above are instructions for an introvert party, but there are many other possible themes.
2) Plan a comprehensive event and provide different things to please a wide variety of guests. If you are an extrovert, then provide a quiet place for your introverted friends so they don't get overwhelmed. If you are an introvert, then offer fun activities and invite enough of your extroverted friends so they can entertain each other.
Also, pay attention to accessibility. Ask guests if they need any accommodations. Offer allergy-friendly refreshments.
It is extremely rude to host an event with limited options, demand that everyone attend, and then sulk when people either don't come or are miserable because you dragged them somewhere they didn't want to go. Don't be a dick. You want people to remember you and your event fondly.
I have described introvert parties from Terramagne, where they are a common adjunct to more boisterous parties or social events, and sometime happen by themselves too. This is totally replicable with local-Earth resources, no superpowers required.
"What You Think You Know"
"Whatever You Seek"
"Dance in the Sun"
"Not So Much in Words"
"If You Talk to Him in His Language"
"Fresh Air in Your Brain"
"The Man Who Missed the Mammoths"
"Put Yourself in the Right Lighting" (description of the Introvert Store)
Understand that extroverts and introverts have different tastes in socializing. Extroverts enjoy interacting with many casual friends in a stimulating environment. Introverts prefer interacting deeply with a few friends in a relaxing environment. Both are natural and healthy, but not always an easy mix, because they have opposed needs. Know how to care for each type. Introvert parties are quieter and calmer than extrovert parties. They provide opportunities to hang out and talk in small groups.
Introverts often continue to enjoy solitary, parallel, and associate play even as adults. Screw the experts who insist that not outgrowing these means something is wrong with you. Play how you damn please. If someone is telling you what to do, it's not play, it's work.
To achieve this objective, first keep the guest list small. A handful of people is plenty for most contexts. If you have a large space with different rooms or outdoor areas, then you can invite more people and let them divide into little clusters based on various interests. At a large party or social event, designate one area as the introvert party. Put up a sign at the entrance and a few other signs elsewhere with arrows.
Activities
Think about what introverts like to do. Encourage guests to bring lapwork like knitting, crochet, or sewing. Make a list of quiet activities and then provide options. If you have a big list, you can subdivide it and offer different combinations or themes at different events. Possibilities include:
* Jigsaw puzzles
* Puzzle books or magazines
* Coloring books and art supplies for all ages
* Scrapbook supplies to document a social event in progress
* Magazines to read
* Picture books for children and coffee table books for adults
* Tabletop games , including solo roleplaying games (this was my inspiration)
* Pencil and paper games
* Construction toys
* Fidgets that don't make noise
* Buddha board or desktop Zen garden
* Quiet activities for kids
* Conversation starters on deep, interesting topics to avoid the torment of smalltalk
Decorations
Introvert parties cater to people who find most parties painfully overstimulating. If you are renting a venue, make sure it's well away from noisy distractions. Aim for a relaxing atmosphere. Use quiet room decor as inspiration.
* lighting slightly dimmed
* houseplants
* bubble wall or aquarium
* mist fountain or fog machine
* tabletop water fountain
* slow TV of a birdfeeder, river, etc. Or Bob Ross.
* book nook with cozy chair, lamp, end table, and bookshelf
* sturdy chairs with arms and back support
* beanbags or floor cushions
* afghans or blankets
* guest-friendly pets
* window birdfeeder or nature window
Refreshments
Introverts rarely enjoy the boisterous atmosphere created by copious alcohol. If you serve alcohol at all, limit the quantity and proof to minimize the risk of loud drunks disrupting the peace. You need festive beverages which equal or exceed the excitement of alcohol. Ideally, you want to offer a range of simples and mocktails. Invest in some gourmet ingredients that people won't have seen often, like artisan soda or rare fruits, to make the occasion feel special. Remember that garnishes aren't just decorative: they distinguish similar-looking drinks to avoid mistakes. You can make or buy drink charms to identify which container is whose.
15 Essential Cocktail Bitters and How to Use Them
Alcohol-Free Extracts & Flavorings
Best NA Beers
Best NA Wines
Best Regional Soda in Each State
Best Sparkling Juices
Mocktails You'll Actually Want to Drink
Baby Shower Mocktails
You can also learn to make your own sodas. Nothing says awesome host like whipping out a can of CO2. But mixing syrup with a base fizzy works just as well. You want an assortment of bases (club soda, sparkling water, ginger ale, etc.) and mix-ins (syrups, bitters, juices, etc.).
Brewing Your Own Soda
Make Your Own Soda
50 Homemade Soda Recipes
19 Simple Syrups
Soda Equipment
Remember that "a bar" isn't just for alcohol. You can set up all kinds of options for guests to enjoy. Because they are less common, they feel special and exciting.
Italian Soda Bar
Hot Chocolate Bar
Hot Cider Bar
If you want drinks that do something, the way alcohol or coffee do, then look up herbs, superfoods, and adaptogens. You can serve drinks with ingredients that are soothing, uplifting, or whatever you like. Many types of tea make a fantastic base for mixed drinks.
Herbs for Tea
Relaxing Herbs
Energizing Herbs
Mood Boosting Herbs
Superfood Powder Mix-ins
Adaptogens
Party foods add to the festive mood. Provide a range of options from healthy to indulgent. Make sure there are foods that everyone can enjoy. A potluck makes a nice casual event. You can also create a sandwich bar with popular ingredients. Any kind of DIY food bar makes it easy to accommodate diverse dietary needs and tastes. Here are some more ideas:
11 of the Most Indulgent Party Foods
16 Epic Party Food Bars
19 Homemade Salad Bar Plans You Can DIY Easily
26 Packaged Snacks To Eat When You're Trying To Be Healthy
52 Healthy Finger Foods
100 Super Fast Finger Foods to Serve a Crowd
Allergy-Friendly Party Treats (Batman theme)
Allergy-Friendly Superbowl Recipes (American football theme)
Best Soup Bar Ideas for a Party
How to Make a Party Tray
Make It Your Own Soup Bar
Party Foods By Category
Taco Bar Checklist
Top 8 Free Allergy-Friendly Recipes
Yogurt Parfait Bar
Themes
While there are oodles of party themes, many of those are more boisterous than introverts really enjoy. Here are some quieter ideas.
* Badger Pajamas -- A pajama party with an earthy, underground theme. Badgers, mushrooms, and snakes.
* Birdday Party -- A birthday party for the birds.
* Blackout Party -- Often spontaneous, as people need something to do when the power goes out. Here are some games and activities. I listed some games for blind people and blackouts here, followed by inclusive games from Terramagne some of which are easy to make.
* Blanket Fort -- Provide a wide range of blankets, sheets, pillows, floor cushions, and other components for guests to make cozy hideaways. If you're feeling ambitious, you can include a fort building kit based on frames. SquishyFort is the best of the cushion kits, though not always available; flip chairs make a decent substitute. The FORT will offer more cushion shapes, intended to launch on Kickstarter in 2021. These kits aren't cheap, but some of them are spectactular, so if you're a big fan of indoor forts then consider investing in good equipment. You can also make your own fort building kit.
* Bob Ross Painting Party -- A few friends, some art supplies, and the most soothing voice in the world.
* Bubble Party -- Fun, beautiful, and quiet aside from the delighted sounds of participants. As people will probably get wet and soapy: 1) provide a bathroom, 2) encourage guests to wear practical clothes, and 3) it's a good idea to have dry clothes to change into afterwards.
* Campfire Circle -- Food, music, and/or storytelling in a quiet rustic setting. Rise Up Singing is an excellent investment.
* Chalk Art Party -- Either a sidewalk or a wide paved area like a driveway will work. Explore chalk recipes and activities.
* Moon Viewing -- Tsukimi is an Asian tradition. This is delightful in a Zen garden but you can do it anywhere with a good view of the night sky.
* Music Night -- Introverts seem to prefer quieter music on average than extroverts. Think acoustic guitar more than electric. Consider these travel instruments.
* Pajama Party -- It's all about relaxing and having fun while you lounge around in your jammies. This is especially fun if your folks like colorful or funny nightwear.
* Party in the Park -- Choose a time away from major holidays and many parks are nearly deserted. Nature hikes and related activities are often a hit with introverts. So are nature crafts for children or adults.
* Poetry Reading -- Many introverts enjoy poetry. Perform some and and hold discussion afterwards. Provide pencils, paper, and reference books or worksheets for those who wish to try writing poems.
* Stargazing -- This is especially fun during a meteor shower or other interesting celestial event, but the awesome thing about astronomy is that something interesting happens almost every night. If you live far enough north, there's no beating the aurora.
* Waterfront Party -- A secluded beach, pond, lake, river, etc. makes a peaceful venue for day or night activities.
* Work Bee -- Often a hit with introverts, as they like having something to do other than just talk. Buy a bushel of something, sit down to clean and can it -- people will naturally talk while they work. Craft circles work similarly: crocheting, embroidery, knitting, quilting, etc.
Introvert Holidays
While most holidays focus on larger gatherings, some really lend themselves to solo or small group enjoyment. Of course it counts if your introvert party has a guest list of 1!
* World Introvert Day (January 2) -- Celebrate this holiday alone, or alone together.
* Universal Letter Writing Week (2nd week of January) -- Practice the fading art of letter writing. This is perfect for a virtual party. Find some interested friends and send each other letters. You might include artist trading cards or handmade greeting cards, which are popular for exchanges.
* Galentines Day (February 13) -- This holiday honors female friendships, but works for any gender. It's ideal for celebrating with your best friend, or a small group of friends.
* Half-Price Chocolate Day (February 15) -- The day after Valentine's Day is great for chocolate lovers, solo or in small groups.
* Plan a Solo Vacation Day (March 1) -- Go somewhere fun, or take a virtual trip.
* National Siblings Day (April 10) -- Take time to strengthen family ties today. No birth siblings? Celebrate with a hanai sibling instead.
* Garden Week (2nd week in April) -- Plant a garden alone or with friends. No room? Guerilla garden! No skill? Seed bombs! Ideal as a virtual party: you and your long-distance friends each seedbomb your hometown and share pictures.
* Ace Day (various) -- Several days have been used; May 8 is popular. Originally a digital holiday for the asexual-aromantic spectrum, it also works in facetime. The cake is not a lie! In fact, get some friends and bake the most delicious and elaborate cakes you can imagine. Picture perfect cakes. Layer cakes. Gourmet cakes. Healthy cakes. Anything that says "Cake is better than sex."
* Best Friends Day (June 8) -- Plan something with your bestie(s).
* Embrace Your Geekness Day (July 13) -- Indulge in your passion, alone or with friends.
* Book Lovers Day (August 9) -- Lounge around reading together, put up a Little Free Library, or go on a BookCrossing quest to seek or release books.
* Hobbit Birthday (September 22) and Tolkien Week -- Go barefoot, throw a feast, and give presents to your friends. "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
* International Sloth Day (October 20) -- Relaxed and solitary, sloths get no respect. Sound familiar? Screw that. Start the day with nothing to do, and finish with half of it done!
* Friendsgiving (November) -- A replacement or addition for Thanksgiving, this is another feast holiday. It's ideal for people whose family of choice plays a larger role than their birth family. It can be any size or complexity you want.
* Singles' Day (November 11) -- A celebration of solitary life. Enjoy it alone or with your single friends.
* Wolfenoot (November 23) -- A holiday honoring wolves, dogs, and other canines. It includes a gift hunt and a feast.
* Make a Gift Day (December 3) -- This is a perfect time for a craft party, whether or not it is holiday themed. Spare your introvert friends the misery of a mall trip and enjoy a quiet day making your own presents.
* Wright Brothers Day (December 17) -- Your choice of activities involving airplanes or bicycles. If you're into museums, there are some of both. You could also stay home and watch documentaries with your friends.
Host Obligations
As the host, it is your responsibility to facilitate everyone having a good time. There are two polite approaches to this.
1) Plan a thematic event and invite only guests who enjoy that sort of thing. Above are instructions for an introvert party, but there are many other possible themes.
2) Plan a comprehensive event and provide different things to please a wide variety of guests. If you are an extrovert, then provide a quiet place for your introverted friends so they don't get overwhelmed. If you are an introvert, then offer fun activities and invite enough of your extroverted friends so they can entertain each other.
Also, pay attention to accessibility. Ask guests if they need any accommodations. Offer allergy-friendly refreshments.
It is extremely rude to host an event with limited options, demand that everyone attend, and then sulk when people either don't come or are miserable because you dragged them somewhere they didn't want to go. Don't be a dick. You want people to remember you and your event fondly.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-05 02:08 am (UTC)Your Guide to Interacting With an Introvert
https://www.fastcompany.com/1683402/your-guide-to-interacting-with-an-introvert
How to Care for Extroverts / How to Care for Introverts (chart)
https://jeannieburlowski.com/2017/08/14/how-to-care-for-an-extrovert-how-to-care-for-an-introvert/
And the cartoon in this article is funny:
https://medium.com/@octoz/introversion-from-a-software-developers-glasses-ef0c9c343778
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-19 02:35 am (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2024-01-19 03:11 am (UTC)You'll need to think about the noise level. Dead quiet or very low is actually undesirable because then any incidental noise tends to be really jarring. Low soothing noise like an air vent or a clock ticking is often helpful. So there are options for introvert parties like a bubbler or fountain. Trouble is, that kind of sound can cause real problems with a hearing impairment. You'll need to explore what level of sound is comfortable for you and others as background noise, and then within that, which types of sounds maintain that level without wrecking your discernment and comprehension. But you should be able to find something that works much better than 20 people all trying to be heard at once, or loud music, or clanging dishware, or the other racket that people seem to find tolerable or even pleasing at typical parties.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-20 11:18 pm (UTC)Yes, it is a learning experience for sure. Sometimes it also comes down to what I can handle. Some days I feel I have more patience for such situations.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-21 12:08 am (UTC)Quite the opposite, I have better hearing than human-standard. I can hear most owls flying (but not the barn owl, that was spooky) and bats squeaking. I hear the ultrasonic whine that most electronics put out, which to me is very loud. Much modern technology has terrible sound quality and some is physically painful to be around. So I think about managing sounds in an environment, and even though it comes from a different angle than hearing impairment, it actually uses some of the same tools and techniques.
I have a general interest in sign languages, and you pretty much can't look at that without getting a lot of Deaf culture alongside it. Plains Indian Sign is an old trade language from a network that once spanned all four coasts. Deaf architecture is interesting too. There is no such thing as "universal design" but inclusive design and adaptive tools can make life a lot easier.
I have a lot of friends with widely assorted disabilities. This has occasionally included people with hearing loss. I met one person at a convention who wore a button reading, "I read lips, and I haven't seen a word you've said." A reminder to face the lip-reader.
And of course, I've written about hearing-impaired or Deaf characters. I do a ton of research for writing, and information tends to stick to me. Walking the Beat is a lesbian romance series in which one partner is Deaf and the other walks with a cane.
>> Yes, it is a learning experience for sure. Sometimes it also comes down to what I can handle. Some days I feel I have more patience for such situations.<<
That's because you do. Think of an energy budget. You have a certain amount of energy that you can use to do things. Some is general energy and some is specific energy like patience to put up with irritations. When you have lots of energy, you have many techniques for problem-solving. When you have little energy, there isn't enough for some techniques so you have fewer options until you get more energy (which is often an excellent step in problem-solving). Much the same is true of relationships and their energy balance, sometimes expressed as "relationship bank account." You also have a window of tolerance for dealing with hard things, and that is wider when you have more energy and narrower when you have less. Learning to assess and manage your energy will help you make effective choices.
Invest in Yourself this Year with a Personal Energy Budget!
The Spoon Theory
Relationship Bank Account
Window of Tolerance
Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-24 11:27 pm (UTC)Oh that sounds like a good series, I will look into it. Thanks for the recommendation.
That makes me happy you have done so much research with this and other disabilities. I've never mastered the skill of reading lips. Sometimes I still try to learn it, but it is hard for me.
Yes, that feels about right. I like that term. Thank you for the other links, I will check those out soon! :)
Has anyone ever told you that you are a kind person?
Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-25 06:30 am (UTC)No, you nailed it. Much of modern society is too loud for me. Happily I live out in the country where it is usually quiet.
>> Oh that sounds like a good series, I will look into it. Thanks for the recommendation.<<
I'm happy I could help.
>> That makes me happy you have done so much research with this and other disabilities.<<
I have plenty of body challenges, and many readers with different issues. I like representing diversity in general. Also, I think modern culture is weird harping on disability like it's a whole separate thing. At least a fifth of the population has a disability. People used to just get on with things instead of making a big fuss about it or trying to separate out those with limitations. When you're focused on survival, you look to find ways that everyone can contribute.
>> I've never mastered the skill of reading lips. Sometimes I still try to learn it, but it is hard for me.<<
One way to practice is watching movies or television shows that are largely about people's interactions, so they'll show closeup faces a lot when characters are talking. Turn the sound off. Watch a few lines and try to figure out the meaning. Rewind, turn captions on, and check what they actually said.
You can also look up speech therapy videos online:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc6dpdvxXEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBuA589kfMg
Speech therapists tend to have crystal-clear articulation. It is easier to learn what a phoneme is supposed to look like this way, and then broaden to the sloppier renditions in everyday speech. Actors used to be great at this too, but have gotten downright slovenly with modern technology expected to make up the difference. Consider older films before that shift.
You might want to concentrate on highly important words like yes, no, left, right, stop, go, bathroom, restaurant, etc. Swadesh lists can help you identify the most important words. Think of it kind of like a phrasebook for a foreign language -- get the main bits down first and then worry about the frills.
>> Has anyone ever told you that you are a kind person? <<
Sometimes. Mostly when I'm offering resources or validating something that everyone else is trying to handwave away. Most people find my personality grating.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-27 02:25 pm (UTC)Re: Yay!
Date: 2024-01-28 07:23 am (UTC)https://miusa.globaldisabilityrightsnow.org/infographic/disability-usa
Oh, and I found this one citing 25% which is even higher.
Presumably the high numbers count things like needing glasses or having a nonfatal allergy, which may require some accommodation but don't necessarily impact everyday life much. Wikipedia says about half that, or 10% of people, have a severe disability that impairs life and work or school.
>> Thanks for sharing. Talking with you has given me some strength lately and I'm glad to have you on here to talk to. :)
I'm happy I could help.
>> Also thank you for the links to the speech videos, I will watch those later.<<
YouTube has a lot of great educational resources. Plus it's free, unlike official ones.