>> The medicalization of grief meant that my ex (who is a psychologist) didn't properly deal with her emotions from the death of her father for years after he died.<<
Alas! That is becoming more and more common. >_<
I am annoyed that modern medicine has contrived to un-know things that have been known basically as long as humanity was human, and are now teaching that ignorance to people and harming them with it.
>>The definition of symptoms she learned obviously interacted poorly with her CPTSD, since she was already predisposed to dismiss all of her feelings as not worthy of any attention, but nonetheless.<<
Yyyyyeah. Not good.
Grief is the price we pay for love, and all humans experience it. Grief hurts like fuck and can absolutely wreck your life for days or weeks. That is normal. It should be treated with self-care and community support in most cases.
Extreme grief in the immediate aftermath may need expert care if the person flailing in agony is doing things which could hurt themselves (like drinking to unconsciousness) or others (like operating heavy machinery while crying too hard to see straight).
The normal course of grieving can also be disrupted by complications. It is absolutely a good idea to teach people about complicated grief so they can get additional support as soon as they feel a need. They get stuck in it and usually can't get past it without help. However, it's difficult to distinguish normal from complicated grief early on, and the handbook makes it harder instead of easier. To distinguish: normal grief typically begins to break up or show progress after 1-3 months, but an average loss takes about a year to mourn, while losing a spouse takes 7-8 years and survivors of child loss say you never get over that one you just learn to live with the pain. Complicated grief either doesn't change over time, or actively gets worse.
Americans have crappy grief skills on average. This is a place where education and community support will usually help more than medical interventions, except for rare people thrown into crisis by a loss. And muddling those things can do a great deal of harm all around.
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dancing_serpent
Yes ...
Date: 2020-01-07 09:03 pm (UTC)Alas! That is becoming more and more common. >_<
I am annoyed that modern medicine has contrived to un-know things that have been known basically as long as humanity was human, and are now teaching that ignorance to people and harming them with it.
>>The definition of symptoms she learned obviously interacted poorly with her CPTSD, since she was already predisposed to dismiss all of her feelings as not worthy of any attention, but nonetheless.<<
Yyyyyeah. Not good.
Grief is the price we pay for love, and all humans experience it. Grief hurts like fuck and can absolutely wreck your life for days or weeks. That is normal. It should be treated with self-care and community support in most cases.
Extreme grief in the immediate aftermath may need expert care if the person flailing in agony is doing things which could hurt themselves (like drinking to unconsciousness) or others (like operating heavy machinery while crying too hard to see straight).
The normal course of grieving can also be disrupted by complications. It is absolutely a good idea to teach people about complicated grief so they can get additional support as soon as they feel a need. They get stuck in it and usually can't get past it without help. However, it's difficult to distinguish normal from complicated grief early on, and the handbook makes it harder instead of easier. To distinguish: normal grief typically begins to break up or show progress after 1-3 months, but an average loss takes about a year to mourn, while losing a spouse takes 7-8 years and survivors of child loss say you never get over that one you just learn to live with the pain. Complicated grief either doesn't change over time, or actively gets worse.
Americans have crappy grief skills on average. This is a place where education and community support will usually help more than medical interventions, except for rare people thrown into crisis by a loss. And muddling those things can do a great deal of harm all around.