The Wordsmith&#39;s Forge

>> STILL in interviews. Ugh. Other things not going according to plan. <<

Blargh. :/ My sympathies.

>> I would really like to be able to get to some semblance of *normal* for a while... any mojo in that direction appreciated.<<

Positive thoughts on their way!

From:

redsixwing

Wishing you stability and success in your interviews!

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sweet_sparrow

*good thoughts*

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thankee.

$mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)$

From:

mdlbear

Ugh! Best of luck.

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inky_magpie

*Waves pompoms* Best of luck

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Thankee!

Today went well; tomorrow (different company) is for all the marbles...

From:

gingicat

Wishing you excellent results from said interviews.

From:

Thanks!

From:

alatefeline

Job applications. Ughhhhhhhhhh.

(I'll expand this if I have some brain available tomorrow.)

Thank you Ysabet for hosting these. <3

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>> Job applications. Ughhhhhhhhhh. <<

:/ Not fun. But good luck!

>> Thank you Ysabet for hosting these. <3 <<

You're welcome.

I think everyone needs a space to vent. If there is no space, it tends to come out sideways, and that's not good. By making a space just for people to share hard things and moral support, that reduces the tendency for it to slop everywhere.

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sweet_sparrow

*good thoughts*

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Oh, ugh, STRONG empathy...

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inky_magpie

*waves pompoms* Good luck and hope your brain recharges quickly and easily

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gingicat

Sending you hope.

From:

kengr

Got another couple of loads of laundry done, and am about halfway thru dishes.

Got several more loads to do (nothing *necessary* at least) but they'll probably wait a few days. Still gotta vacuum one of these days and mop floor. also need to clean tub, haul out recycling (if the bins have room) and do various self-care stuff that gets put off.

*sigh*

Be much easier if I didn't wind up sleeping so much. :-
(

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Progress, at least.

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sweet_sparrow

Yay on getting some things done and making progress!

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Sympathy and empathy on the sleeping too much - yay for getting things done in spite of everything!

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inky_magpie

Hurray progress! Go you! Doing those things!

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gingicat

Laundry is indeed a LONG chore.

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gingicat

Accomplished:
- getting a new battery for my Misfit smartwatch and putting it in
- knowing I have an accurate count for walking at least two miles a day this week (Saturday-Tuesday)
- asking my psychiatrist for a PRN anxiety med that won't make me sleepy so I can occasionally take it at work (she gave me a beta-blocker)

To Do (with husband):
- continue working with a mental health advocate attorney for the younger kid
- tell younger kid that she's not going to be able to come home for a while yet because of further out-of-house mental health treatment
- review IEP and neuropsych reports for older kid with educational advocate, hopefully getting an out-of-district therapeutic day school placement
- help older kid process into better at-home habits now that he doesn't have to hide from the younger child all the time

To Do (me):
- mail at least three promised packages
- spend an hour each day sorting and filing (possibly scanning) paperwork
- continue walking at least two miles per day
- ease off the sugary comfort food

Edited Date: 2019-03-27 11:43 am (UTC)

From:

fuzzyred

That sounds like you have accomplished quite a lot and still have a lot to deal with.

I give you inifite kudos for the progress already made and the best wishes for all the things still left to do.

*hugs offered if so desired*

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gingicat

Thank you.

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Wow, that's quite a list!

Of those, I have ideas for the last. Comfort food can be comforting for various reasons: positive association with a caregiver, physical qualities of food, nutritional profile, energy boost, etc. If you can identify why sugary food feels comforting to you, then you may be able to replace it with a healthier comfort food.

* If it's the association, you can replace it with almost anything by having someone you love pamper you while feeding you a different food.

* If it's the texture, sweet flavor, etc. then fruit might work or you could look for a snack flavored with stevia or another nonsugar sweetener.

* If you think it might be nutritional, you might explore craving charts to look for possible substitutes.

* If it's the energy boost from the sugar rush, then you could try other energy boosters. Another aspect, however, is simply that the farther from life a food is, the less vital energy it tends to have. In this regard, eating things that are alive (freshly picked fruits) or recently alive (freshly killed seafood, cooked vegetables) can fill a need that is very difficult to pin down for many folks.

As a total sidestep, there are nonfood comforts which in some situations may work as well as or better than food. I knew I liked the texture of the new microfiber blankets, so I took a travel-size one on a trip. I was amazed to discover that it didn't just make me feel cozy, it actually regenerated a usable amount of energy. Spoon-giving artifact! \o/ This one is idiosyncratic but you may be able to find something that works for you.

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gingicat

I know the theory, but practice is hard.

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Yeah, practice is hard.

I think that's why so many references say that it's not the food but the positive association with a caregiver. Comfort is more often something we get from other people than give to ourselves. It's hard to take good care of yourself when you're already wiped. 0_o

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inky_magpie

*Waves pompoms and throws popcorn like confetti* (better for plants and critters) Good for you! that's quite the list!

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gingicat

Thank you.

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readera

I'm on day 3 of sober/non smoking week. Self imposed, to see if it will help with focus at work.

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fuzzyred

That takes a lot of willpower. I wish you the best of luck with it and I hope it helps. 😊❤👍

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readera

Thanks <3

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Hard, but rewarding. I hope it pans out and that you can stick with it.

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readera

Thanks <3

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inky_magpie

*waves Pompoms*

From:

readera

Thanks <3

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gingicat

Go you!

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readera

Thanks <3

From:

wispfox

Contacting position ending, which is overall better for my mental health, but the two places I was interviewing with went with someone else quite late in the process. So I have to go back to job hunting.

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Interviewing sucks. I wish you luck.

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inky_magpie

That sucks. Best of luck with the job hunting

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gingicat

I’ve been following along. That sounds like no fun whatsoever.

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dorchadas

Redoing my taxes. Submitted them early, got a massive refund, then realized I left off some income and have to mail in paper and a check. Then my printer ran out of ink. Ugh. Emoji dejected

They're calculated and printed out and sitting on my dining room table now, and now I'm working up to signing them, writing the check, addressing, and mailing them. Sometimes the small things are the hardest.

Then I have to redo my state taxes...

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General adulting. Mom's cancer is back. We are at the tests-results-make treatment decisions stage. (Has it metastasized, or just regrown at the original location?) The one thing clear so far is that it's growing faster than it did before. Is surgery an option, or is it time for a chemo-radiation combo, or should we just make mom as comfortable as we can for as long as she wants to stick around? She's 85. Her stated wishes are "quality over quantity, and no pain." But she doesn't understand the complicated decision trees, so I get to make those decisions. We get the PET scan results Friday. Good thoughts for making wise decisions would be greatly appreciated.

And one of the cats died yesterday. Pancreatitis and sepsis. His mommy (my son's fiancee) had decided it was time to help her across, but kitty died in her lap in the exam room while waiting for the vet to come in to do the deed. Kismet was being petted and loved on by both her humans at the time. Her brother is a guest of the vet hospital for liver function issues. My job? Putting everyone back together, and explaining things to fiancee's father so that he didn't yell at his daughter for failing to take good care of the cat. I'm an effective buffer - I'm his age, I take no crap from him, and he's on his best behavior with me. But the man's an abusive ass, and even on his best behavior dealing with him is an element in the set of things which is No Fun. At least I knew it all first hand; I'm the one who drove everyone to the vet, and paid for it all. No way the kids could have afforded it; thank $Deity I can.

Now we keep an eye on the other cats to make sure they don't get sick. Two at once is worrisome.

And can someone explain to me how my computer suddenly started inserting words backwards? As in I type w-i-s-e, and it appears on the page as e-s-i-w. That's somewhere beyond weird!

From:

gingicat

I’m so sorry.

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Thanks.

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zeeth_kyrah

That backward-writing thing is a trick with certain language sets, and sometimes your computer's OS has a keyboard shortcut to do that. Sounds like it may have switched between a right-to-left and a left-to-right language, such as between English and Hebrew.

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I have a Hebrew font, though I only use it for letters to my cousins. :) I just didn't think it could switch like that spontaneously. It went back to standard left-to-right spontaneously too - the third time I retyped the phrase, it came out correctly.

Gremlins. My computer is inhabited by gremlins.

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Mine sometimes switches to backwards mode as I am typing, or between typing, at random. I think that's just me making it glitch though.

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Eh. Hadn't thought of that possiblity. Yeah, I've been pushing a lot of energy around, what with one thing and another. I mess up small electronics all the time. If I can make a watch run backwards (and I have, before I gave up wearing one completely), why not a computer?

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Basically if it tends to happen under the same or similar circumstances, it's more likely a keyboard error; if it's random, it's more likely an energy glitch.

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Near as I can tell, it's entirely random. :) Score another for the organic electrical field generator!

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dialecticdreamer

Today, that IS an accomplishment.

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Here's your medal. \o/

When you feel like you're not getting anything done, remember that you have survived things which have killed other people. That really is something to be proud of.

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dialecticdreamer

Well, the eggs are peeled and in the brine. The brownies came out FANTASTICALLY well.

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Yay food!

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dialecticdreamer

Our brownies were scratch, but the easy way to do them would be a box mix, plus four slices of crisply cooked bacon, chopped into bits. Make the brownie batter, stir in the bacon, bake and PRAY you can wait for them to cool enough to cut. *G*

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That's a clever workaround.

I am not myself a fan of bacon in sweets, but lots of other people seem to love it.

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librarygeek

That's my week. Some of us survived, Let's eat! Keening that I survive, when others did not. :-/

From:

we_are_spc

Trying to keep on top of the depression. While the meds help, it's still a time of it.
Waiting on the license stuff to go through....and not having a job in the mean time becuse no one wants someone that'll only work a month and a half or so.
Trying to person. Seriously, being my own authrority is this scary thing, that shouldbn't be scary but still is, and it's frustrating because I want to be, but there's still a lot of me in my own way. >.<

-Fallon~

From:

>> Trying to person. Seriously, being my own authrority is this scary thing, that shouldbn't be scary but still is, and it's frustrating because I want to be, but there's still a lot of me in my own way. <<

Of course it's scary. It scares most people, especially when they first start doing it. Typically people get used to it after a year or few, though. You can get on top of this.

From:

gingicat

Best wishes.

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zeeth_kyrah

Personing, having yourself, that is easy for me. Adulting, where I'm my own authority? That's not always easy. For all the progress I've made after my problems really kicked in, I'm still not up on adulting too much. Heck, I'm still trying to person from day to day, even when it seems easy. Choices are not always easy. :/

Basically, I'm trying to say, I sympathise. I feel this way too.

Edited Date: 2019-03-28 10:02 pm (UTC)

From:

erulisse

a hard-but-good thing: I am at the point in my social work program where I get to find myself a field placement. Which has meant rewriting my resume, drafting a cover letter explaining why I think people might want to work with me, and then /actually sending these to people/.

It's been kind of terrifying.

But I finally started actually sending inquiries yesterday and I got my first call-back already! I won't be able to actually respond until tomorrow but fingers crossed I talk to them and it's actually a good fit for all concerned.

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That is hard. I hope you find a good position though.

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gingicat

You can do it!

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librarygeek

As a rabbinic pastor ordination student, I led my first memorial service, first interfaith service, and for someone I have called Mama (Last name) for over 25 years today.

The hardest part, and all empathy permitted and requested, is dealing with the irrational survivor guilt of knowing that Mama died during the same cardiac surgery I was expected to have most of my life. My diagnosis and then surgery requirements changed in 2006 with better testing, but she's dead anyway. I had my surgery 2 years ago. I'm alive, and Mama's left behind a twin, daughter, and tween grandchild.

My mother's family threw EVERYTHING left of the candy factory into a medical foundation to try and keep others alive, as well as I, since we lost 3 out of 5 of my mother's generation way too young from cancer and heart conditions. I may have opened the hospital wing where my friend's mom's surgery was, forty years ago with my cousin's name on the wing and I was still in PIGTAILS. :'-( I'm crying now, I managed dry eyes mostly earlier.

From:

*hankie* My condolences.

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librarygeek

I needed that, even just an extra hankie. 💔

From:

gingicat

May her memory be a blessing and a comfort. (Did I say that already? Do you mind if I say it twice?)

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librarygeek

I could hear it multiple times a day for the next week, and at least once a day for the next month and year. Mama wasn't Jewish, but she cheered for every Jewish milestone for my teen and I anyway. (Whaaaa!)

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All the hugs. Deepest respect for being able to do the service when the loss was so personal. May her memory be for a blessing, and may all who loved her find peace.

And did I mention HUGS?

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librarygeek

Thanks, all HUGS needed. I have a few things to work on, but it was the first funeral service I made and led, usually I have done just eulogy for family so far.

But they weren't active at a church, the paternal side that Mama married into had Orthodox Jew as grandfather, and I knew Mama's side had Native American chiefs in ancestry. Dad's (of choice) funeral was generic, I could do better than THAT, at least, to honor Mom, and comfort Aunt, Sis, and my tween niebling. :-( So I did.

From: (Anonymous)

Funnily enough, I'll be looking for work soon like nearly everyone else here. My contract has three months left. I'm so drained that it might not be an entirely bad thing.
I intend to save, but I have a shopping addiction. Bad enough that I'm not joking, but the bills are paid without fear and there's no debt. I just need to save. I still want to keep what I've bought recently and I audited my handbags to see if there's any I never used/isn't me and can sell. They are going on Ebay this weekend. Thankfully, I never went the Prada route, but that would be a guaranteed sale. I'm not cheeky enough to put my eBay account name here, promise. My brother sent me a very good budgeting program and I feel better about saving over the next three months.
It's not about the amount of money. I got genuinely decent bargains and paid full prices that were fair, it's the sheer amount of stuff and the association of shopping with freedom/power/being just as deserving as anyone else. It's one of the few things that perks me up and I can do it even if I can't leave the house or have no time to myself. I sold, gave and donated a lot of things last year and it slowed me down. I also had fun consulting my mum with 'should this be returned? Both of these are nice, which one is better?' rather than hiding my purchases.

From:

>>Funnily enough, I'll be looking for work soon like nearly everyone else here. My contract has three months left. I'm so drained that it might not be an entirely bad thing.<<

Good luck with that. I hope your new job fits better so it doesn't exhaust you.

>>I intend to save, but I have a shopping addiction. <<

Yeah, that can be a challenge. Some people do better with carrots (saving a target amount gives them a certain amount of guilt-free spending money) while others do better with sticks (overspending has consequences), or a combination.

I managed to pry loose books I'd never read again by setting aside an envelope of funds to re-buy anything I actually needed after all or acquire new things.

It really all comes down to leverage. There's a heavy thing that doesn't want to budge, and you need some kind of mental lever to move it.

>> I still want to keep what I've bought recently and I audited my handbags to see if there's any I never used/isn't me and can sell. <<

If you tend to stock up accessories like handbags or shoes, consider:

* Most of that stuff isn't actually meant to be kept and used long-term. If you get a season or a year of fun out of it, great, let it move on and get a different one.

* Compare them to your clothes and other accessories. No matter how cute the fuchsia one is, it's not much use if you only have 2 outfits that it matches, as opposed to a lemon one that goes with 12.

* Some people like capsule wardrobes. These can be very useful when planning accessories because usually you'll be choosing a limited number of accent colors. If your accents are coral and turquoise, then it totally makes sense to have a handbag in each of those colors -- but not so much colors that would clash with those. I have notes for several different capsule wardrobes here.

>>I got genuinely decent bargains and paid full prices that were fair, it's the sheer amount of stuff and the association of shopping with freedom/power/being just as deserving as anyone else. It's one of the few things that perks me up and I can do it even if I can't leave the house or have no time to myself.<<

Totally understandable. Keep an eye out to see if there are other things that make you feel that way. Sometimes going down a big list of coping skills can give you new ideas.

One thing that I found very useful, after a lengthy period of shoestring budget had worn down my ability to respond to things that could be bought, was virtual shopping for my characters. It helped me pay attention to things and match them to personality. Some other folks seem to derive similar pleasure from assembling wardrobes or single outfits in pictures online, and then I can look at those for inspiration -- I've copied a lot for this or that character. If you like the idea of buying cool things for yourself, but you don't want to wind up with whole closets full of clutter, something like that might help you filter for the things you love the most.

From:

wyld_dandelyon

Having work done on the inside of the house, a big project in the kitchen and several small ones in other rooms. Mostly ceiling work, stuff I can't do because I don't have a head for heights.

The smallest project became another big one when mold was discovered above the drop ceiling in the little room off the dining room. The workmen promised to seal off that room for removing the mold and didn't. Now I'll have to clean all the stuff that was stashed in the dining room to get it out of the kitchen, as well as all the things that normally live in the dining room, and just walking into that room is setting off the allergies. And the door to the bathroom was also open, so eveything in there got well-dusted too and will have to be cleaned, including all the towels that weren't already in the wash.

And the washing machine is not working (though a new one is on order).

It's a discouraging reminder of how much work goes into living with allergies, and how much of my life is taken up in avoiding, coping with, or living through feeling lousy. Also, the fact that they didn't take my strong warnings that they had to seal off the room is a reminder that most people don't have to worry so much about stuff like mold and bleach (I'm allergic to both).

Edited Date: 2019-03-29 10:33 am (UTC)

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