Poem: "The Beginning of Love"
Dec. 18th, 2018 05:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the November 6, 2018 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from fuzzyred, erulisse, mashfanficchick, and curiosity. It also fills the "affection" square in my 11-5-18 card for the Family Ties fest. This poem has been sponsored by fuzzyred. It belongs to the Mallory thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
Warning: This poem contains parental angst and fake smiles. It's mostly fluff though.
"The Beginning of Love"
[Thursday, October 2, 2014]
Mallory came downstairs to find
Heron making faces at the baby.
Nestled in a blanket on the couch,
Dairinne frowned and fussed at him.
"What are you doing?" Mallory asked.
"I'm showing Dairinne how to smile,"
Heron said, grimacing again.
"That is not a smile!" Mallory said.
"Look, you're upsetting her."
"I know, I know," Heron said,
slumping in place. "I'm so bad
at this, but I can't help it."
"You're a terrible actor,"
Mallory agreed. "Why
are you even trying?"
Heron looked down.
"Babies need to see smiles,
or they have a hard time learning
how and when to do it," he said softly.
"The children of depressed parents are
less responsive, because depressed people
don't smile or show other emotions much."
"That doesn't mean you have to do it."
"There's that quote, you know --
'Let us always meet each other with
a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love.'
I think it's good advice," Heron said, then
sighed. "It just doesn't fit me very well."
Mallory rolled her eyes. "Heron,
I think that you fell in love with
Dairinne the day we met."
"Okay, you got me," he said,
eyes twinkling with affection.
"She wrapped me right around
her little finger, didn't she?"
"Yep, you're a goner,"
Mallory declared. "Now
watch me do it the right way."
"Sure, go ahead," Heron said.
"Look, Dairinne," said Mallory
as she grinned at her daughter.
"Woohoo, Mommy's happy!"
Dairinne waved her hands
and gurgled a reply.
"Aww, Mommy's said,"
Mallory said as she
made a weepy face.
Dairinne scrunched again.
"Grr, angry Mommy!"
said Mallory, making
claws with her hands.
"I'm gonna getcha!"
Dairinne squealed
and kicked her legs.
"Look, tragicomic Mommy!"
said Mallory, twisting her face
up and down at the same time.
"Truth in advertising!"
Dairinne looked confused.
"She's responding,"
Heron murmured.
"Well duh," Mallory said.
"I'm making faces. Babies
love watching faces."
"Not this young," Heron said.
"It takes a few months for them
to learn expressions from other people
and start making their own on purpose.
At this age, it should be strictly reflexive,
and it's really not. It's precocious."
"So we made a smart baby,"
Mallory said with a shrug.
"That may be more true
than you realize," Heron said.
"I think that between your abilities
and mine -- and all the checking
we did during the pregnancy --
Dairinne is already attuned to us."
"Okay, what does that mean?"
Mallory said, tipping her head.
"I don't know," Heron whispered.
"Well, you told me once that you don't
feel a need to shout your emotions
because Molly always knew what you
were feeling," Mallory said. "How did
that affect her when she was a baby?"
"I have no idea," Heron said, spreading
his hands. "I wasn't even born yet!"
"So ask your parents," Mallory said.
"I bet they'll remember, and that might
give us ideas on how to handle Dairinne."
"She doesn't need to be handled,"
Heron protested. "She just needs
to be loved. Babies need affection,
not discipline. That comes later."
"Whatever," Mallory said. "It doesn't
matter anyway. She's here, we're here,
we'll deal with what we got. And what we
got is you, so stop shouting with your face."
"But she needs to see people smile,"
Heron said, sounding miserable.
"Dude. Look around. Dairinne has
a house full of college students and
your very expressive family to learn
smiling from," Mallory said. "She does
not need you to fake it badly for her."
Heron's shoulders scrunched
inward a few millimeters.
"I just feel like I'm doing
a terrible job," he said.
Clearly Mallory was
going about this all wrong.
"Of smiling? Yeah, you are,"
Mallory said. Then she brushed
a hand over his shoulder. "Heron,
just be yourself. It's the best example
that she could possibly have."
"I don't know ..." Heron said.
"Look, you have a quiet face,"
Mallory said. "So does Shiv, when
he's not boiling mad about something.
So do some of the veterans who hang out
with Tolli and Simon. Dairinne needs
to learn how to read quiet faces as well
as loud ones. You focus on teaching her
that, and leave the grins to the rest of us."
"You really think so?" Heron said.
He looked so insecure that Mallory
wanted to hug him, so she did.
"I know so," Mallory said. "I may be
confused about a lot of things in my life,
but not about this. You're a great father,
Heron. Relax and enjoy it. Stop trying
to be like anyone else's idea of a parent.
Just be yourself, and trust that you are
the best role model Dairinne could have."
Mallory felt overwhelmed most of the time,
but she hadn't realized how often
Heron must feel the same way.
He always seemed so together,
it was easy to forget that he was as
new to the whole parenting thing
as Mallory herself was.
"I'll work on it," Heron said,
and his face finally relaxed
into his normal expression.
Mallory smiled, and then
the corners of Heron's eyes
crinkled just a little bit.
"See, there it is," she said,
cupping his cheek with a hand.
"You have a tiny smile. It stays in
your eyes most of the time, because
your joy doesn't make big waves."
"And that's enough?" Heron said.
"I can prove it," Mallory said.
"You think that Dairinne is
responding to us, right?"
"I'm pretty sure, yes,"
Heron said with a nod.
"Look, Dairinne!"
said Mallory.
"Daddy is calm."
And Dairinne smiled.
* * *
Notes:
"Let us always meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love."
-- Mother Teresa
Smiling at babies is important for their development. If the caregiver is not expressive, that upsets most infants. Babies of depressed mothers or fathers are less responsive and more prone to behavior problems.
Portraying emotions is the root of good acting. Here is a list of emotions to practice, and a sample video. The Meisner technique and method acting are among the ways of portrayal. However, authenticity is essential both in acting and in everyday life; looking fake is a sign of a bad actor. Faking emotions can also take an emotional toll. On the other hoof, some people find that it builds emotional intelligence. Drama therapy can improve theory of mind, empathy, and emotional regulation. Learn how to show real emotion when acting by mastering your facial expressions. Exercises such as charades can help actors learn these skills.
Compare strong vs. subtle expressions. Subtlety can be an important part of acting. Subtle expressions often appear with low affect, which can have many causes. However, some people are just naturally reserved. It's essential to understand how to communicate with people who emote less.
Precocious behavior in infants can show early signs of giftedness. Read more about parenting very young gifted children.
fuzzyred, erulisse, mashfanficchick, and curiosity. It also fills the "affection" square in my 11-5-18 card for the Family Ties fest. This poem has been sponsored by fuzzyred. It belongs to the Mallory thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.Warning: This poem contains parental angst and fake smiles. It's mostly fluff though.
"The Beginning of Love"
[Thursday, October 2, 2014]
Mallory came downstairs to find
Heron making faces at the baby.
Nestled in a blanket on the couch,
Dairinne frowned and fussed at him.
"What are you doing?" Mallory asked.
"I'm showing Dairinne how to smile,"
Heron said, grimacing again.
"That is not a smile!" Mallory said.
"Look, you're upsetting her."
"I know, I know," Heron said,
slumping in place. "I'm so bad
at this, but I can't help it."
"You're a terrible actor,"
Mallory agreed. "Why
are you even trying?"
Heron looked down.
"Babies need to see smiles,
or they have a hard time learning
how and when to do it," he said softly.
"The children of depressed parents are
less responsive, because depressed people
don't smile or show other emotions much."
"That doesn't mean you have to do it."
"There's that quote, you know --
'Let us always meet each other with
a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love.'
I think it's good advice," Heron said, then
sighed. "It just doesn't fit me very well."
Mallory rolled her eyes. "Heron,
I think that you fell in love with
Dairinne the day we met."
"Okay, you got me," he said,
eyes twinkling with affection.
"She wrapped me right around
her little finger, didn't she?"
"Yep, you're a goner,"
Mallory declared. "Now
watch me do it the right way."
"Sure, go ahead," Heron said.
"Look, Dairinne," said Mallory
as she grinned at her daughter.
"Woohoo, Mommy's happy!"
Dairinne waved her hands
and gurgled a reply.
"Aww, Mommy's said,"
Mallory said as she
made a weepy face.
Dairinne scrunched again.
"Grr, angry Mommy!"
said Mallory, making
claws with her hands.
"I'm gonna getcha!"
Dairinne squealed
and kicked her legs.
"Look, tragicomic Mommy!"
said Mallory, twisting her face
up and down at the same time.
"Truth in advertising!"
Dairinne looked confused.
"She's responding,"
Heron murmured.
"Well duh," Mallory said.
"I'm making faces. Babies
love watching faces."
"Not this young," Heron said.
"It takes a few months for them
to learn expressions from other people
and start making their own on purpose.
At this age, it should be strictly reflexive,
and it's really not. It's precocious."
"So we made a smart baby,"
Mallory said with a shrug.
"That may be more true
than you realize," Heron said.
"I think that between your abilities
and mine -- and all the checking
we did during the pregnancy --
Dairinne is already attuned to us."
"Okay, what does that mean?"
Mallory said, tipping her head.
"I don't know," Heron whispered.
"Well, you told me once that you don't
feel a need to shout your emotions
because Molly always knew what you
were feeling," Mallory said. "How did
that affect her when she was a baby?"
"I have no idea," Heron said, spreading
his hands. "I wasn't even born yet!"
"So ask your parents," Mallory said.
"I bet they'll remember, and that might
give us ideas on how to handle Dairinne."
"She doesn't need to be handled,"
Heron protested. "She just needs
to be loved. Babies need affection,
not discipline. That comes later."
"Whatever," Mallory said. "It doesn't
matter anyway. She's here, we're here,
we'll deal with what we got. And what we
got is you, so stop shouting with your face."
"But she needs to see people smile,"
Heron said, sounding miserable.
"Dude. Look around. Dairinne has
a house full of college students and
your very expressive family to learn
smiling from," Mallory said. "She does
not need you to fake it badly for her."
Heron's shoulders scrunched
inward a few millimeters.
"I just feel like I'm doing
a terrible job," he said.
Clearly Mallory was
going about this all wrong.
"Of smiling? Yeah, you are,"
Mallory said. Then she brushed
a hand over his shoulder. "Heron,
just be yourself. It's the best example
that she could possibly have."
"I don't know ..." Heron said.
"Look, you have a quiet face,"
Mallory said. "So does Shiv, when
he's not boiling mad about something.
So do some of the veterans who hang out
with Tolli and Simon. Dairinne needs
to learn how to read quiet faces as well
as loud ones. You focus on teaching her
that, and leave the grins to the rest of us."
"You really think so?" Heron said.
He looked so insecure that Mallory
wanted to hug him, so she did.
"I know so," Mallory said. "I may be
confused about a lot of things in my life,
but not about this. You're a great father,
Heron. Relax and enjoy it. Stop trying
to be like anyone else's idea of a parent.
Just be yourself, and trust that you are
the best role model Dairinne could have."
Mallory felt overwhelmed most of the time,
but she hadn't realized how often
Heron must feel the same way.
He always seemed so together,
it was easy to forget that he was as
new to the whole parenting thing
as Mallory herself was.
"I'll work on it," Heron said,
and his face finally relaxed
into his normal expression.
Mallory smiled, and then
the corners of Heron's eyes
crinkled just a little bit.
"See, there it is," she said,
cupping his cheek with a hand.
"You have a tiny smile. It stays in
your eyes most of the time, because
your joy doesn't make big waves."
"And that's enough?" Heron said.
"I can prove it," Mallory said.
"You think that Dairinne is
responding to us, right?"
"I'm pretty sure, yes,"
Heron said with a nod.
"Look, Dairinne!"
said Mallory.
"Daddy is calm."
And Dairinne smiled.
* * *
Notes:
"Let us always meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love."
-- Mother Teresa
Smiling at babies is important for their development. If the caregiver is not expressive, that upsets most infants. Babies of depressed mothers or fathers are less responsive and more prone to behavior problems.
Portraying emotions is the root of good acting. Here is a list of emotions to practice, and a sample video. The Meisner technique and method acting are among the ways of portrayal. However, authenticity is essential both in acting and in everyday life; looking fake is a sign of a bad actor. Faking emotions can also take an emotional toll. On the other hoof, some people find that it builds emotional intelligence. Drama therapy can improve theory of mind, empathy, and emotional regulation. Learn how to show real emotion when acting by mastering your facial expressions. Exercises such as charades can help actors learn these skills.
Compare strong vs. subtle expressions. Subtlety can be an important part of acting. Subtle expressions often appear with low affect, which can have many causes. However, some people are just naturally reserved. It's essential to understand how to communicate with people who emote less.
Precocious behavior in infants can show early signs of giftedness. Read more about parenting very young gifted children.
LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 01:22 am (UTC)I love the idea of Mallory having the lead in this issue, though. It's good to see them balancing each other out as parents.
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 06:01 am (UTC)That's an odd parallel. When I first started reading about her, she was very much in need of rescue, and I was very much still a rescuer. Now Mallory is showing *him* a thing or two about parenting... and I'm learning to work *with* N.
Ysabet, your timing again... :D
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 06:12 am (UTC)I love the fact that Mallory is the confident one in this poem!
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 08:08 am (UTC)Nailed it. This seemed like the kind of mistake Heron would make, because strangers rag him about his (lack of) expression all the time. He doesn't care for himself. He does care if he thinks it might hurt someone else, like trying to over-emote with Shiv. Which is hilarious because Shiv is used to reading 'cool' faces.
>> I love the fact that Mallory is the confident one in this poem! <<
She may not know much about parenting -- other than doing the opposite of what her parents did -- but acting? That she knows.
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 08:11 am (UTC)She is that.
>> but the Mommy department is not one of them. <<
Well, she had lousy role models growing up and worries that she's going to screw up her own kid. But she has Heron and the parents Finn to help her. She's been taking parent classes and reading books. So while she doesn't have many of the actual skills yet, she's very determined to acquire them now that she's committed.
>> That's an odd parallel. When I first started reading about her, she was very much in need of rescue, and I was very much still a rescuer. Now Mallory is showing *him* a thing or two about parenting... and I'm learning to work *with* N. <<
Aww. Mallory still needs a lot of help, but she is rescued by now, and starting to do well enough that she can help others.
>> Ysabet, your timing again... :D <<
I'm glad I could help.
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 08:29 am (UTC)It is a good and happy thing, to see people on both sides of the dimensional boundary start to give back from the healing they've gotten. <3
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 08:36 am (UTC)Sooth.
>> People that are banged up, scarred, held together with baling wire and sheer force of will (y'all know who you are, in here, love to all of you as is appropriate), but still game enough to help others through their own shit... <<
I know people who have survived things that make most mainstream supervillain backstories look like a cakewalk. :( I am impressed that they're still coherent enough to walk and talk, let alone the amazing things they do.
>> It is a good and happy thing, to see people on both sides of the dimensional boundary start to give back from the healing they've gotten. <3 <<
Yay!
I like that too. I like writing it as subversion ... just showing that people CAN heal from horrific damage and still do good in the world.
Re: LOVE this one
Date: 2018-12-19 06:35 am (UTC)Yay!
>> I'm glad Mallory set him straight. <<
;) She's good at spotting bullshit, even well-meaning bullshit.
>> Babygirl is going to be loved no matter HOW she turns out, personality wise. The Finns clearly MAKE room for those they consider family! <<
Sooth. Dairinne seems to be a major extrovert, very interested in engaging people.
>> I love the idea of Mallory having the lead in this issue, though. It's good to see them balancing each other out as parents.<<
:D No one, no matter how "with it" they are, gets through parenting without the occasional panic attack. And even people with a lot of personal problems are good at something. This just seemed like a natural flipping point.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-19 07:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-19 10:09 pm (UTC)These two couldn't agree which one was going to be on the comment, so I settled it this way.
Aww ...
Date: 2018-12-19 10:42 pm (UTC)