>> Did the couples counsellers tell them that counselling could make it harder to sever, if they chose that route? <<
No, because he didn't know. Most people don't. Bonds are still so rare in Terramagne that very little is known about them. It doesn't help that bondworkers tend to hide because the nature of their gift is so fraught.
>> I see why she sees that nuance, but I don't buy it. At a basic level, she's choosing to stay with a partner to avoid causing them pain. It's important to her that she has that choice, which she didn't have before. It's important to me why she makes that choice. <<
Fair enough. The nuances are going to matter in the relationship, though.
>> I'm with Vagary. I want my partner to affirmatively want to be with me. The thought that a partner would stay with me for my sake is horrifying to me. <<
It makes sense.
Calliope's regard for Vagary is real and growing. It's not all that big yet, and at the moment it's buried under the mayhem of the separation attempt. But she has come a very long way from how she felt in the beginning -- thinking he had no redeeming qualities -- to gradually discovering that despite his dickish traits, he's quite decent in some other ways.
One thing they haven't explored much is the fact that they are compatible. It's a resonant bond, and those can't form between people without a close match. But it's a mirror bond -- what people call an odd couple. They usually look like they'd never get along, and it's very easy for them to tangle up like this. They have complementary strengths and weaknesses though; we've seen a glimpse of that in their teamwork.
Up to this point, they've mostly focused on damage control and building neutral ground. From here on, they have to deal with the bond more directly, because now it's terrified of them. That's not getting any better until they put a lot of effort into soothing it. And the process of that will help them discover what they admire and enjoy in each other. It's just not something that can be thrown together and expected to work instantly. They have to feel their way through it.
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dancing_serpent
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2018-10-31 09:15 am (UTC)No, because he didn't know. Most people don't. Bonds are still so rare in Terramagne that very little is known about them. It doesn't help that bondworkers tend to hide because the nature of their gift is so fraught.
>> I see why she sees that nuance, but I don't buy it. At a basic level, she's choosing to stay with a partner to avoid causing them pain. It's important to her that she has that choice, which she didn't have before. It's important to me why she makes that choice. <<
Fair enough. The nuances are going to matter in the relationship, though.
>> I'm with Vagary. I want my partner to affirmatively want to be with me. The thought that a partner would stay with me for my sake is horrifying to me. <<
It makes sense.
Calliope's regard for Vagary is real and growing. It's not all that big yet, and at the moment it's buried under the mayhem of the separation attempt. But she has come a very long way from how she felt in the beginning -- thinking he had no redeeming qualities -- to gradually discovering that despite his dickish traits, he's quite decent in some other ways.
One thing they haven't explored much is the fact that they are compatible. It's a resonant bond, and those can't form between people without a close match. But it's a mirror bond -- what people call an odd couple. They usually look like they'd never get along, and it's very easy for them to tangle up like this. They have complementary strengths and weaknesses though; we've seen a glimpse of that in their teamwork.
Up to this point, they've mostly focused on damage control and building neutral ground. From here on, they have to deal with the bond more directly, because now it's terrified of them. That's not getting any better until they put a lot of effort into soothing it. And the process of that will help them discover what they admire and enjoy in each other. It's just not something that can be thrown together and expected to work instantly. They have to feel their way through it.