Poem: "Different Than Yours"
Jul. 5th, 2018 04:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem came out of the July 3, 2018 Poetry Fishbowl. It was commissioned by stardreamer to fill the "Aggressively Festive Holiday Sweater" square in my 7-1-18 card for the Winterfest in July Bingo fest. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
"Different Than Yours"
[Monday, December 22, 2014]
Christmas season this year was ...
less awful than Shiv remembered.
After the first time he flipped out
at the Finns, Dr. G had talked to him
and worked out an agreement where
Shiv would let them do a little bit and
they wouldn't pester him for more.
Other people kept sending him stuff,
though, and he hadn't expected that.
Dr. Bloch had given him a subscription
to some kind of fruit club that would
send a different box every month,
like a magazine you could eat.
December had been pomegranates,
which Shiv absolutely adored for
their crunchy, sweet-tart seeds
and juice that looked like blood.
He had shared one with Cook
and Boss White, then Cook had
sent Shiv out to the supermarket
with orders to buy a bunch more
to make desserts in the restaurant.
The white chocolate cheesecake
came out topped with green kiwi slices
inside a ring of red pomegranate seeds.
It was incredibly delicious.
On Monday, Buttons came in
carrying a basket full of packages
from the post office. "Mail call!"
she yelled, and folks came running.
"Here, Shiv, this one's for you."
She handed him something
that was wide and flat.
Curious, Shiv shook the box,
but it didn't make a sound, and
when he slipped his power inside,
he couldn't feel anything either.
He flicked his fingernail,
turning the tiny fleck of metal
into a paper cutter, and used that
to slit the brown wrapper.
Shiv opened the box to find
a sleek black sweater made of
something soft and fuzzy.
When he lifted it, though,
a riot of color emerged.
There on the front was
a Christmas tree surrounded
by a flurry of snowflakes, with
a ridiculous pink-and-purple cat
lounging on a pile of presents.
Somehow, that was nutty enough
that Shiv could look at it without
having horrible holiday flashbacks.
There had been a movie,
and before that, a book ...
A card fluttered free as he
smoothed out the sweater,
and Shiv picked it up.
Then he laughed.
The sweater was from
Largo and Verne.
Just like that, Shiv
knew that Verne had
suggested a wild sweater
and Largo had suggested
the character on it.
Alice in Wonderland,
that was the name.
Shiv and Largo had
watched it together.
Now Shiv would need
to visit Nick's Thrifts to find
something for Verne -- maybe
they'd have a Kwanzaa sweater --
and a few movies for Largo.
He didn't mind, though.
It'd be fun to pick them out.
"That is one ugly-ass sweater,"
said Lieutenant Brown. "I think
somebody's taste in clothes is
way different than yours."
"I dunno," Shiv said, petting
the fabric. "I kinda like it."
His own Christmas tree
consisted of broken rocks
glued onto a canvas board.
He liked the rusty reds and
the soft, earthy greens.
Like the sweater, it was
different enough from
his memories that it
didn't freak him out.
Shiv was learning
how to cope with his past
one small, sharp piece at a time.
"You're crazy," Popgun said.
"You know that, right?"
Shiv snorted.
Then he remembered
a line from that book,
and oh ... a slow smirk
spread over his face.
"I'm not crazy," Shiv replied.
"My reality is just different than yours."
* * *
Notes:
"II'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours."
~ Cheshire Cat
― Lewis Carroll
(Some of these links are horrible.)
Holiday stress can be hard on anyone, but it's especially intense for survivors of foster care and/or child abuse. In fact, holidays raise the risk of child abuse. Things like this are why Shiv hates holidays. But that's also why he tends to say no at knifepoint: because nobody would listen to anything less. Unlearning those habits is hard for him. There are general tips for coping with holiday stress, along with specific ideas for foster kids and abuse survivors.
This is Shiv's Christmas tree. Terramagne-America is much more fond of alternative trees than local-America is. In fact, some are neither trees nor are they Christmas themed, but you can still see the inspiration.
Many companies offer fruit subscriptions. Dr. Bloch chose this exotic one. T-America often subsidizes these for certain buyers and recipients, to encourage better eating habits, so as a doctor he gets a big discount and often buys healthy food gifts for people based on their tastes. Contrast this with L-America, where government policy directly supports some of the most unhealthy foods.
See Cook's Christmas Cheesecase and a recipe for New York White Chocolate Cheesecake. It looks fancy, but is actually quick and easy to decorate. If you can bake a cheesecake, slice a kiwi, and scatter pomegranate seeds then you can duplicate it.
Paper cutters come in various styles, of which the safety cutter usually has a tiny blade almost entirely concealed inside its handle. Shiv keeps small flecks of metal under his fingernails for this purpose, so all he has to do is extend a sharp point to slice through paper or tape. He also uses them to spark a light for cigarettes, which does not require flint because Shiv can simply use his superpower to flick off pieces of iron small enough to ignite spontaneously.
See Shiv's Cheshire Cat sweater. I have known for a long time that it's going to be Boss Cheshire rather than Boss Shiv someday, but I had no idea how that started until I got this prompt and then suddenly it just clicked.
The Cheshire Cat actually predates both the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and the movie Alice in Wonderland.
To some extent, everyone lives in their own reality, but the ability to control it varies. You can raise your self-awareness in order to untangle reality and perception in order to improve your control over what happens in your life.
stardreamer to fill the "Aggressively Festive Holiday Sweater" square in my 7-1-18 card for the Winterfest in July Bingo fest. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series."Different Than Yours"
[Monday, December 22, 2014]
Christmas season this year was ...
less awful than Shiv remembered.
After the first time he flipped out
at the Finns, Dr. G had talked to him
and worked out an agreement where
Shiv would let them do a little bit and
they wouldn't pester him for more.
Other people kept sending him stuff,
though, and he hadn't expected that.
Dr. Bloch had given him a subscription
to some kind of fruit club that would
send a different box every month,
like a magazine you could eat.
December had been pomegranates,
which Shiv absolutely adored for
their crunchy, sweet-tart seeds
and juice that looked like blood.
He had shared one with Cook
and Boss White, then Cook had
sent Shiv out to the supermarket
with orders to buy a bunch more
to make desserts in the restaurant.
The white chocolate cheesecake
came out topped with green kiwi slices
inside a ring of red pomegranate seeds.
It was incredibly delicious.
On Monday, Buttons came in
carrying a basket full of packages
from the post office. "Mail call!"
she yelled, and folks came running.
"Here, Shiv, this one's for you."
She handed him something
that was wide and flat.
Curious, Shiv shook the box,
but it didn't make a sound, and
when he slipped his power inside,
he couldn't feel anything either.
He flicked his fingernail,
turning the tiny fleck of metal
into a paper cutter, and used that
to slit the brown wrapper.
Shiv opened the box to find
a sleek black sweater made of
something soft and fuzzy.
When he lifted it, though,
a riot of color emerged.
There on the front was
a Christmas tree surrounded
by a flurry of snowflakes, with
a ridiculous pink-and-purple cat
lounging on a pile of presents.
Somehow, that was nutty enough
that Shiv could look at it without
having horrible holiday flashbacks.
There had been a movie,
and before that, a book ...
A card fluttered free as he
smoothed out the sweater,
and Shiv picked it up.
Then he laughed.
The sweater was from
Largo and Verne.
Just like that, Shiv
knew that Verne had
suggested a wild sweater
and Largo had suggested
the character on it.
Alice in Wonderland,
that was the name.
Shiv and Largo had
watched it together.
Now Shiv would need
to visit Nick's Thrifts to find
something for Verne -- maybe
they'd have a Kwanzaa sweater --
and a few movies for Largo.
He didn't mind, though.
It'd be fun to pick them out.
"That is one ugly-ass sweater,"
said Lieutenant Brown. "I think
somebody's taste in clothes is
way different than yours."
"I dunno," Shiv said, petting
the fabric. "I kinda like it."
His own Christmas tree
consisted of broken rocks
glued onto a canvas board.
He liked the rusty reds and
the soft, earthy greens.
Like the sweater, it was
different enough from
his memories that it
didn't freak him out.
Shiv was learning
how to cope with his past
one small, sharp piece at a time.
"You're crazy," Popgun said.
"You know that, right?"
Shiv snorted.
Then he remembered
a line from that book,
and oh ... a slow smirk
spread over his face.
"I'm not crazy," Shiv replied.
"My reality is just different than yours."
* * *
Notes:
"II'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours."
~ Cheshire Cat
― Lewis Carroll
(Some of these links are horrible.)
Holiday stress can be hard on anyone, but it's especially intense for survivors of foster care and/or child abuse. In fact, holidays raise the risk of child abuse. Things like this are why Shiv hates holidays. But that's also why he tends to say no at knifepoint: because nobody would listen to anything less. Unlearning those habits is hard for him. There are general tips for coping with holiday stress, along with specific ideas for foster kids and abuse survivors.
This is Shiv's Christmas tree. Terramagne-America is much more fond of alternative trees than local-America is. In fact, some are neither trees nor are they Christmas themed, but you can still see the inspiration.
Many companies offer fruit subscriptions. Dr. Bloch chose this exotic one. T-America often subsidizes these for certain buyers and recipients, to encourage better eating habits, so as a doctor he gets a big discount and often buys healthy food gifts for people based on their tastes. Contrast this with L-America, where government policy directly supports some of the most unhealthy foods.
See Cook's Christmas Cheesecase and a recipe for New York White Chocolate Cheesecake. It looks fancy, but is actually quick and easy to decorate. If you can bake a cheesecake, slice a kiwi, and scatter pomegranate seeds then you can duplicate it.
Paper cutters come in various styles, of which the safety cutter usually has a tiny blade almost entirely concealed inside its handle. Shiv keeps small flecks of metal under his fingernails for this purpose, so all he has to do is extend a sharp point to slice through paper or tape. He also uses them to spark a light for cigarettes, which does not require flint because Shiv can simply use his superpower to flick off pieces of iron small enough to ignite spontaneously.
See Shiv's Cheshire Cat sweater. I have known for a long time that it's going to be Boss Cheshire rather than Boss Shiv someday, but I had no idea how that started until I got this prompt and then suddenly it just clicked.
The Cheshire Cat actually predates both the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and the movie Alice in Wonderland.
To some extent, everyone lives in their own reality, but the ability to control it varies. You can raise your self-awareness in order to untangle reality and perception in order to improve your control over what happens in your life.
thoughts
Date: 2018-07-05 10:28 pm (UTC)b) /love/ the tree
for us, getting one of the little three-foot table top real trees has been just the thing the last few years - we both grew up with big fake trees so a small real one is different enough and won't cause too much mess.... and it's nice to be able to finally pick our own ornaments - tiny avengers for the win.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-05 10:33 pm (UTC)So that's one that Carroll didn't invent, but simply built upon? Cool. Though I love the amount of stuff he *did* add to the language... "vorpal" and "galumphing" being among my favourites.
Neil Gaiman recites Jabberwocky in a 'particularly tulgy wood'...
o/~ I grew up seeing things a little differently, appearing,
disappearing, hardly innocent, nor
tied down to the ground. o/~
And then there's the Jimmy Buffett line: o/~ If we weren't all crazy, we would all go insane! o/~ (Wherein Jimmy deliberately blurs the line between the cra-cra and odd ways of blowing off steam so we won't need all our pointy things taken away from us...) Why the hell do you THINK I ride on the freeway? ;) As us WetLeatherites say, "Twist it 'til the grin comes on..."
And, yeah. Whether we're what we think we are or some mewling pink fetus deep inside the Matrix, the feeling of control has a rather large effect on at least my state of mind... and I doubt I'm the only one by a long shot.
Re: thoughts
Date: 2018-07-05 10:34 pm (UTC)b) /love/ the tree <<
Yay! :D
You can see that Shiv's friends are rubbing off on him a bit, in terms of his taste in clothing. He's just starting to think more broadly than "cheap or free, and can get into it."
>> for us, getting one of the little three-foot table top real trees has been just the thing the last few years - we both grew up with big fake trees so a small real one is different enough and won't cause too much mess.... and it's nice to be able to finally pick our own ornaments - tiny avengers for the win.<<
Go you!
When I was very young, we had a real tree. We also have a green shag carpet in the living room. Mom quickly got tired of picking pine needles out of the carpet -- in July -- so we got a big, beautiful artificial tree. And then we were all sad because it didn't smell. So Dad went to the nursery, got a ball-and-burlap tree, built a bonfire to melt the ground, and planted it. Hence the Midwinter Grove.
Thoughts
Date: 2018-07-05 11:52 pm (UTC)Believe me, when you CAN get out of your own head, it makes your reality a LOT different from everyone else's. Ask any shaman.
>>Though I love the amount of stuff he *did* add to the language... "vorpal" and "galumphing" being among my favourites. <<
*chortles happily*
>> o/~ I grew up seeing things a little differently, appearing,
disappearing, hardly innocent, nor
tied down to the ground. o/~ <<
Now listen to that again, thinking of Boss Cheshire in particular. A vulnerable stripe or two, heh heh ...
>> And, yeah. Whether we're what we think we are or some mewling pink fetus deep inside the Matrix, the feeling of control has a rather large effect on at least my state of mind... and I doubt I'm the only one by a long shot. <<
1) Incarnation is always a ride through a Matrix. It's just that most people don't see it that away. Doesn't change what it is.
2) Control is among the most tempting of desires, and extends far beyond the human species. But it's not universal, on account of it being a bit of a mousetrap. Nonattachment has its adherents, and a few species even seem to prefer it.
Re: thoughts
Date: 2018-07-06 12:09 am (UTC)that's pretty awesome
(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-06 12:15 am (UTC)Well ...
Date: 2018-07-06 12:27 am (UTC)Of course, there's other stuff like fireworks and food.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2018-07-06 12:34 am (UTC)Yeah, I can see that, granted she'd need to send the sushi by special courier, but teleporters probably can beat the '30 mins or less' claim easily.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2018-07-06 12:54 am (UTC)Sparklers. Not easy to find in Nebraska in the middle of winter, but on the coast people will stock them for Chinese New Year.
>> Yeah, I can see that, granted she'd need to send the sushi by special courier, but teleporters probably can beat the '30 mins or less' claim easily. <<
That's one option. Another is a gift card to any restaurant chain that makes sushi. Doesn't have to be in Nebraska, because the Finns keep porting Shiv out to California. Also Luci seems like the kind of girl to stick it in a rubber fish. ;)
Re: Well ...
Date: 2018-07-06 01:06 am (UTC)Re: Well ...
Date: 2018-07-06 01:23 am (UTC)Also, part of the point is to make it look as unlike conventional Christmas as possible. If Luci's around any time from late November onward, she'll see Shiv tense up around certain types of holiday displays. He may not give any more detail than "I hate Christmas," but with his background, she can probably guess why. If pressed, he'll admit that he still likes free things and food, as long as they're not too extravagant and don't look like the typical shit that's all over everywhere at that time of year.
>> so gift card, in a fake Nigiri ball... multi-coloured sparklers and a fidget spinner/shuriken like this [she'd know Shiv wouldn't cut himself when playing with it.] <<
In fact, Shiv's fidget shuriken should be sharp because that helps him control it and not cut himself. He can control dull things made of metal by now, but it's always going to be easier for him to hold onto something sharp. :D
He does enjoy visual fidgets as well as tactile ones. Also to Shiv, a spinner probably is a lot more tactile than for most people -- he can feel the metal moving, and the ball bearings.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-06 04:29 am (UTC)One of the funniest things I ever saw on Food Porn was a post that started with the question "How do you get pomegranate stains off a white cat?" There were pictures. It looked like an abattoir.
I also like Shiv figuring out how to do holiday-appropriate stuff in ways that don't trigger flashbacks for him. That's a useful skill for anyone who gets stuck in bad memories around the holidays.
I'm delighted and honored to have contributed an idea that solved a problem for you!
Yay!
Date: 2018-07-06 05:27 am (UTC)Shiv has a way with words that comes out in odd moments.
>> One of the funniest things I ever saw on Food Porn was a post that started with the question "How do you get pomegranate stains off a white cat?" There were pictures. It looked like an abattoir. <<
Wow. That is ... actually relevant, if I ever get a chance to do that piece on Shiv getting turned into a cat during a cape fight.
>> I also like Shiv figuring out how to do holiday-appropriate stuff in ways that don't trigger flashbacks for him. <<
:D I'm happy to hear that. He needs to think through what's ruined forever, what he might get back with some work, and what he can substitute using creative alternatives. Even if he's not discussing it much in therapy, he does seem to have a knack for finding those alternatives. Some of his friends are responsive to the twitches, too, so they're coming at it sidelong rather than head on.
>> That's a useful skill for anyone who gets stuck in bad memories around the holidays. <<
Sooth. I hope giving an example will help.
>> I'm delighted and honored to have contributed an idea that solved a problem for you! <<
Thanks. \o/
(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-07 06:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-10 04:37 am (UTC)mini-cutters
Date: 2018-07-10 06:02 am (UTC)I carry one of these around with me, for my somewhat obsessive tikkun olam / public service habit of removing posters that are out of date or too damaged to be useful from lampposts and other public property. There are a LOT of them here in West Philadelphia, and they build up in layer upon layer upon layer: I just today cut and peeled, cut and peeled without getting down to the metal of the pole, and there was one with a date in October of 2016!
These are quite small: the circle of the case is just 1¼" in diameter, and the blade at full extension is barely 3/8". I buy them at an art supply store for about $2+. You hold it with a couple of fingers on the body and the thumb on or behind the slide handle. Push the blade out with your thumb & hold it while using it; when you release the handle, a spring retracts the blade.
Re: mini-cutters
Date: 2018-07-10 07:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 09:52 pm (UTC)Re: Yay!
Date: 2021-09-04 01:43 am (UTC)>>Wow. That is ... actually relevant, if I ever get a chance to do that piece on Shiv getting turned into a cat during a cape fight.<<
This is something I soooo want to see. I'll have to remember to find an appropriate fishbowl to prompt for it.