I love Heron dearly, but he is waaaaay too calm in this situation. I'd have blown my cork if he'd asked me if I wanted to talk about my feelings in that counselor-y way right after I'd gotten done snarling about not being able to keep people out of my damn room. Duh, Heron, <3 though you are. And why is he the one doing the explaining of the sign on the door, instead of at least tag teaming it with Mallory? It's her door. Letting the only dude in the house explain... ehh. Even though he's the one familiar with the sign, he's not the one living behind the door and getting barged in on. This feels like half Mallory's call, at least. At best, it's a case of someone with knowledge of an item preempting the person who'll be using it, which is iffy but understandable. At worst, it makes me wonder if someone might listen to Heron over Mallory, which I doubt, but still, eew.
Re: emotional labor: A lot of what Mallory's getting thoroughly (rightfully, IMO) sick of doesn't sound as much like emotional labor as it does putting up with people's well-meant unhelpful advice, platitudes, and bullshit. I'm surprised Heron didn't make the distinction more plainly. There quickly comes a point when that's plain old work not worth doing. Being a parent =/= losing your own identity separate from kid, or being modeling clay for every well-meaning soccer parent wanting to use themselves as a template.
I <3 <3 <3 you, Ysabet. I just... really badly want Mallory's roommates to have listened to the 'stay the @#&! out of our room unless it's an emergency' rule the first time Mallory said it. I'm surprised they didn't have more of a handle on that one. Screwups happen, but eesh. And for Heron to not do the counselor thing as a default--ugh. Sorry, that just squicked me in this situation. Normally he doesn't have that effect on me at all. This was just a towering case of duh, pal. Duuuuuuh, and of course Mallory can't scream 'what do you think?' because baby.
So not a parent here. Giving up that much autonomy, that much agency... This just drove it home.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2017-12-16 08:34 pm (UTC)Re: emotional labor: A lot of what Mallory's getting thoroughly (rightfully, IMO) sick of doesn't sound as much like emotional labor as it does putting up with people's well-meant unhelpful advice, platitudes, and bullshit. I'm surprised Heron didn't make the distinction more plainly. There quickly comes a point when that's plain old work not worth doing. Being a parent =/= losing your own identity separate from kid, or being modeling clay for every well-meaning soccer parent wanting to use themselves as a template.
I <3 <3 <3 you, Ysabet. I just... really badly want Mallory's roommates to have listened to the 'stay the @#&! out of our room unless it's an emergency' rule the first time Mallory said it. I'm surprised they didn't have more of a handle on that one. Screwups happen, but eesh. And for Heron to not do the counselor thing as a default--ugh. Sorry, that just squicked me in this situation. Normally he doesn't have that effect on me at all. This was just a towering case of duh, pal. Duuuuuuh, and of course Mallory can't scream 'what do you think?' because baby.
So not a parent here. Giving up that much autonomy, that much agency... This just drove it home.