Poem: "A Tornado of Thought"
Mar. 25th, 2017 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the March 7, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from sweet_sparrow. It also fills the "creative solutions to limits" square in my 3-1-17 card for the Disability Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
Warning: This poem includes some touchy topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It has emotional upheavals, Vagary's continued stress over Calliope not wanting to do things with him, Calliope's continued stress over his closeness, tornado formation, interrupted therapy session, which triggers Vagary's abandonment issues, unexpected changes in superpowers, Calliope looming over Vagary, emotional suppression during an emergency, an emergency dispatcher doing a shitty job, negotiating with supervillains, stormchasing, exhaustion, crashing with friends at a weather station, and other challenges. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"A Tornado of Thought"
Calliope had noticed a pattern
forming in their therapy sessions.
As soon as Mr. Gallagar asked
how things were going for them,
Vagary would launch himself into
an enthusiastic description of
the classes or support groups
he had been frequenting.
Today it happened to be yoga.
"I love the Santosha Yoga group
that meets upstairs," Vagary burbled.
"Focusing on contentment doesn't actually
solve any problems, but it makes me feel better,
and then it's easier to work on other stuff."
Calliope hadn't realized how much time
he was spending in Stillwater, until he
started gabbling about it in therapy.
"That's good news," said Mr. Gallagar.
"I'm delighted to hear that you find
our personal health programs so useful."
"Yeah, the stuff you offer here
is great," said Vagary.
"You're not as happy with what
you get elsewhere?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"No, it's not that, my regular things are
great too," said Vagary. "When I first got there,
I was ... kind of a wreck, and people picked me up
and put me back together. It helped a lot. It's just
that I've already gone through most of the offerings that
fit my interests there. The ones here are different."
"That makes sense, then; you're building on
previous resources to take advantage of
new opportunities," said Mr. Gallagar.
"What else here has caught your eye?"
"I love the idea of couples yoga;
everyone talks about how cool it is,"
Vagary began. This his face crumpled,
the way it always did when something
inevitably reminded him of their situation.
"But I know that's ... not going to happen."
Calliope felt like she was already
twisting herself into a pretzel,
trying to find some position that
wouldn't hurt both of them.
She turned her gaze toward
the window, where the rain
rattled against the glass.
"I'm afraid that's a bit ambitious
for now," said Mr. Gallagar. "However,
there are other options that can
work in a similar direction."
"Like what?" Calliope wondered.
She was in favor of anything that
would push Vagary away from
the idea of couples yoga, which
frankly gave her the creeps.
"Remember when we talked about
the Power and Control Wheel and
the Equality Wheel?" the counselor said.
Calliope and Vagary both turned to look
at the door, where those two posters
bracketed the Relationship Health Check
that decorated the office door itself.
"Yes," they chorused.
"I'd like to call your attention
to the first section, which is
Using Intimidation in Power
vs. Non-Threatening Behavior
in Equality," said Mr. Gallagar.
Both of them had problems
with that, as Vagary had violated
Calliope's boundaries enough
to make her resent him, and she
had handled him roughly enough
to make him skittish with her.
"Okay, those match," Calliope said,
uncertain what their counselor
meant for them to do about it.
"Each section matches its counterpart
on the opposite wheel," said Mr. Gallagar.
"In order to make your relationship healthier,
and thus hurt each other less, you need
to shift each section from Power to Equality."
"Sounds good to me," Vagary said.
"How do we go about doing that?"
"Well, your inclination for couples yoga
points in the right direction," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Healthy touch can produce strong benefits
in relationships troubled by violence."
"What kind of touch?" Calliope said,
narrowing her eyes. She didn't want
to touch Vagary at all, but some things
would be much worse than others.
Besides, Mr. Gallagar was good at
finding creative solutions to limits.
"Whatever feels pleasant to you,
or at least tolerable -- don't do
anything that makes you uneasy,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "There are plenty of
exercises on healthy touch you could try.
A good starting point would be comparing
your body maps, if you've done those."
Just the conversation made Calliope feel
uncomfortable, like the storm clouds
roiling above them outside.
"Yeah, we can touch hands," said Vagary.
"It helps keep the bond ... not satisfied,
really, but quieter than it was before."
Calliope grudgingly admitted
to herself that this was true.
"That's a useful discovery,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "You might also
explore what parts of your body ache
or need comfort, because people store
emotional pain in different places, which
can later impact physical health."
"Neck and upper back," Calliope confessed,
rolling her shoulders. "They get stiff."
"Hips and ankles for me," said Vagary.
"I'm not as flexible as some guys,
but the yoga sure is helping."
"Excellent," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Begin with simple hand contact,
and look for activities such as games
or dancing that would encourage that in
a natural way. From there, you should
be able to work your way up to touching
other body parts like shoulders and ankles."
"I could go with that," Vagary said.
A tornado of thought swirled around
Calliope, making her shiver at the idea
of touching Vagary or him touching her --
and then suddenly she realized that
it wasn't just the therapy making her
so uncomfortable, it was the weather
and the actual tornado it was brewing.
"Excuse me," Calliope said as she
bounded to her feet. "I have to go.
The storm is starting to spin up
into a tornado. I need to stop it."
"That's alarming," Vagary said.
"How can we help?" Mr. Gallagar said,
automatically glancing at his tablet which
currently had a weather page online. "It's
still a watch, not a warning -- do you want me
to hustle everyone into the shelter already?"
"No, it's not that bad yet; I'm more sensitive
than the weather equipment," Calliope said.
"You might want to send someone to check
on your emergency supplies, though. If I'm
not back in ten minutes, or the alarms sound,
then get everyone to safety quick as you can."
"Okay," Vagary said, his misery spilling over
Calliope. "It's only ... we just got here ..."
"Go on, Calliope, you can use the back garden,"
Mr. Gallagar said, waving her away. "Vagary,
you and I can stay here and turn this
into a private session, if you like."
Calliope ignored them in favor of
heading out the back door to deal
with the mess of weather overhead.
Cold wind pelted her with rain
as she stepped onto the back porch.
The sky was a weird blend of pale green
blotted by dark, ugly clouds overhead --
clouds that swirled ominously as
they began to form a funnel.
Calliope reached up with her hands
to get a grip on the air currents and
begin to disrupt their spiral flow.
Instead, they simply shredded in her hands.
Calliope stared up in amazement at
the tattered remnants of cloud that
had been a nascent tornado.
They didn't re-form, just scudded
along like ordinary rainclouds.
Baffled, she walked back inside
and headed to Mr. Gallagar's office.
"What did you do?" she demanded,
stalking toward Vagary. It had to be
him because nothing else had changed.
"I -- I didn't do anything," he stammered.
"I just started talking about abandonment.
You haven't even been gone five minutes."
"I didn't notice him doing anything,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "If the crisis is past,
perhaps you could sit down. I think that
your stance is making Vagary nervous."
Calliope looked down at Vagary and
noticed that, yes, he was kind of
cringing away from her.
She down sat on the arm of
the loveseat and said, "I dispersed
the tornado. It was ... easy."
"That's different from the way that
it usually feels to you?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"Yes, air is heavy," said Calliope.
"I can manipulate it, but not like that.
It usually takes a lot more effort."
"Um," said Vagary. "It could be the bond.
Enhancement of abilities is a known effect
that can occur with bonding. I just didn't
think it would happen for us, because
our bond is ... kind of a mess."
"So how do we find out whether
that's the cause?" Calliope said.
"Touch me," Vagary said, holding out
his hand to her. "Skin contact tends
to strengthen this kind of connection.
If it is the bond, then we should
be able to feel the difference."
"Okay," Calliope said, reaching out.
As soon as their fingers touched,
the power surged between them.
"Shit!" Calliope said. She pulled
her hand back, trying to shake off
the sharp, electric tingle in it.
"I guess you have your answer,"
Vagary said as he tucked his hands
tightly between his knees.
Calliope took a deep breath,
pushing her emotions down
to deal with later. Right now,
she had more important matters
that demanded her attention.
"Come with me," she invited.
"With that much of a power boost,
I should be able to clear up most
of this squall line before it does
any serious damage."
"You can reach that far?"
Vagary said, tilting his head.
"No, but I can get a teleporter
to take me stormchasing," she said.
"Okay," Vagary said. "I'll come.
"Sorry to skip out, Mr. Gallagar,
but duty calls," Calliope said.
"Go on," the counselor said.
"Saving the day is more urgent,
just remember to make up
this session at a later time."
"Understood," Calliope said,
heading for the door, with
Vagary a step behind her.
"So now what?" he asked.
"Now I call SPOON and
arrange a teleport," she said,
pulling out her phone.
But it wasn't that simple.
"Dispatch, this is Calliope,
and I need a teleport for two
to go stormchasing along
Tornado Alley," she said.
"Who are you with?" Reggie said.
"You hardly ever ride out with
anyone other than Hyperspaceman,
and if it was him, you wouldn't need
a teleporter. Shit, I hope it's not
that supervillain stalker of yours."
Calliope gritted her teeth and wished
that Reggie was as professional as
Stillwater's emergency services.
"As a matter of fact, Vagary is
my assist, and he's been very useful
to me already," she said. "Now
hurry up and get us a ride!"
"I don't know if anyone will want
to lift a supervillain --" Reggie said.
"I do not have time for this,"
Calliope snapped. "Fine, fuck it,
I'll call someone else!" She hung up.
"Problem?" Vagary asked.
"SPOON dispatch in the Heights
is being a dick," Calliope said.
"I'll have to try Easy City."
"I can get us a lift," Vagary said.
"Your 'friends' won't object
to helping a superhera?" she said.
"Not if you're with me," he said.
"They already know who you are
and it's just political differences,
not like you're a whackjob."
"What will it cost me?" Calliope said.
"Standard offer is straight trade,
we do our thing and you do yours,"
Vagary said. "That means we give you
a ride to go stormchasing today, and in
return, you do storm control for us later."
"That's all? Just do what I normally do,
only for you guys?" Calliope asked.
"That's the deal," Vagary said. "We've
got facilities in places that get rough weather.
We'd bring you in by teleport, so you wouldn't
know where, but yeah -- it's just the usual, you
calm the weather down and we're good. I'll even
throw in my company for the boost. Deal?"
Calliope only had to think about it for
a few seconds before compelling need
drove her to say, "Deal. Do it."
Vagary pulled out his phone
and muttered some kind of code
into it, followed by the request.
Then he put his palm over the phone
and said, "You don't get airsick, do you?"
"No, I ride tornados sometimes.
I can handle a little tilt-a-whirl
if your teleporter isn't so smooth,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"No problem, he's perfect," Vagary said,
then put his phone back in his pocket.
"Who's perfect?" Calliope asked.
"At least tell me who's my ride."
"Kong Vault is a fantastic teleporter,
especially if you're trying to reach
a moving target; he's got great agility,"
Vagary said. "It just means a dippy ride
sometimes. He can follow your twisters,
if you can point him to the right places."
"Oh, that's useful," Calliope said.
The teleporter who came was short
and muscular, with blond dreadlocks,
clad in a sleek and practical jumpsuit.
"I'm Kong Vault," he said. "Where to?"
Calliope showed him the stormchaser app
on her phone. "I'm following this line of
storms to scuttle tornadoes as they form,
before anyone gets hurt," she explained.
"I need to jump from one hotspot to the next."
"Can do," said Kong Vault. "Hang on."
He wrapped his powerful arms around
them, and then they were off.
The ride was smooth at first, but
it ended with a sharp swerve that
made Calliope gasp as they landed.
"Sorry about the hairpin, but
the tornado decided to take
a swipe at us," Kong Vault said.
"Good call," Calliope said,
looking at the ominous cone that
already reached almost two thirds
of the way to the ground.
She felt Vagary's hand slip into
her own, and suddenly the sky
didn't feel so overwhelming.
Calliope reached up and out with
her power, breaking up the air flow
with quick swipes of her hands.
The funnel cloud dispersed.
Kong Vault's awe shimmered
in her mind, vivid and near.
"That was amazing," he said.
"Where are we headed next?"
Calliope flicked her fingers over
the phone and pointed out
the next vortex to quell.
They spent the whole afternoon
pursuing the storm and unraveling
tornados, catching most of them
before they could touch the ground.
It was so much easier with Vagary in tow.
Calliope knew that she was covering
more than just twice as much territory
as she could typically handle.
The chase spanned three states
and ultimately left them in Nebraska,
too exhausted to do more than
stare at the flimsy drizzle that was
all that remained of the storm.
"I've got one short jump left in me,
and then I'm toast," Kong Vault warned.
"Uh huh," Calliope said, wavering on
her feet. Vagary caught her, and she was
too tired even to growl at him. "I know folks
in the Omaha weather station. They've got
a quiet room; we can all crash in there."
"They won't mind?" Vagary said with
a sloppy wave. "We're, you know ..."
"Today you're stormchasers, and we
just saved three states," Calliope said.
"If they even try to kick you out, I will
throw them out a window myself."
"Got a good one," Kong Vault said,
patting Vagary on the shoulder.
It turned out that the weather crew
had been watching them bust clouds
all afternoon, and when the tired team
came to ground at their station, they were
more than happy to provide support.
In the tender care of her friends,
Calliope devoured an almond Picky Bar,
washed it down with Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink,
and collapsed onto the nearest couch.
Vagary was already snoring on
the next one. From the rustling sounds,
Kong Vault was still working his way
through the offered snacks.
Calliope sighed in relief.
Challenges notwithstanding,
it had actually been a good day,
and she was grateful for the help
that she had received along the way.
On that note, she rolled over and went to sleep.
* * *
Notes:
Reggie Echelberger -- He has ruddy skin, blue eyes, and short strawberry blond hair. He works as a dispatcher at the SPOON base in the Heights. His superpower isn't useful in combat, but he wants to help save the day, so he became a dispatcher to support superheroes in the field. This is somewhat complicated by his tendency to moralize, and he's particularly poor at dealing with supervillains.
Origin: He developed Super-Immunity from the Aegis vaccine base, but nothing else. His superpower basically consists of never calling in sick.
Uniform: On duty, he wears the Heights SPOON uniform of a black shirt and pants with the SPOON logo embroidered in gold on the chest pocket. Off duty, he favors practical men's clothes.
Qualities: Good (+2) Computer Use, Good (+2) Fast, Good (+2) Following Rules, Good (+2) Multitasking, Good (+2) Sports Fan
Poor (-2) Moralistic
Powers: Average (0) Super-Immunity
Motivation: To be a hero.
Kong Vault (Jenner Debenport) -- He has fair skin, blue eyes, and long blond hair in dreadlocks. He is short and muscular. Kong Vault works as a teleporter for Kraken, but he's nearly neutral in personal opinion, with no particular beef against superheroes. However, he's a sucker for seduction attempts, and superheras have gotten to him more than once this way. It hasn't changed either his opinions or his love life.
Origin: Jenner was a young troublemaker until a teacher got him into track & field, where he excelled. Unfortunately for his budding sports career, puberty brought superpowers, and that disqualified him from competition. He promptly returned to making trouble, even worse than ever. A Kraken operative extracted him from Juvenile Hall and offered him an opportunity to use both his athletic and his super abilities. He accepted.
Uniform: On duty, Kong Vault wears a Kraken uniform of dexflan and capery. The jumpsuits are sensibly designed with sleek fit, plenty of pockets and fasteners for equipment. They provide Expert (+4) Camouflage to a designated user, but if worn by anyone else, turn garish neon colors. Off duty, he favors athletic men's wear.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Reliable, Good (+2) Concentration, Good (+2) Courage, Good (+2) Parkour
Poor (-2) Can't Say No to a Pretty Face
Powers: Expert (+4) Teleportation
His cargo capacity and distance are typical for his strength level, but his agility in transit is much better. Kong Vault can easily jump to or from a moving target, which many teleporters cannot, and he is very difficult to trace.
Motivation: To move efficiently through space.
A Kong vault is when the body passes over an obstacle with the legs placed between the arms. Among the most versatile vaults, it's ideal for clearing long, high objects or reaching extra distance.
-- Parkour Terminology
* * *
“A tornado of thought is unleashed after each new insight. This in turn results in an earthquake of assumptions. These are natural disasters that re-shape the spirit.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
In the Tranquility Counseling Center, the little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. This shelter holds up to 25 people. The partial wall beside the ladder holds the emergency supplies. The storage buckets convert to commodes, so one is customarily placed behind that wall with a curtain for privacy. Here is a look at some other community tornado shelters.
Office 1 is for couples counseling. The Power and Control Wheel hangs to the left of the door. The Relationship Health Check is on the door. The Equality Wheel hangs to the right of door.
The large meeting room upstairs is the multipurpose room, used for the bigger group therapy sessions and classes such as yoga. It has posters on Be Kind To Your Mind with speech bubbles, group rules, the 8 Limbs of Yoga, and a large yogasanas chart.
Behind the Tranquility Counseling Center lies a healing garden in the center of the block they share with several other buildings. It features small patches of lawn broken up by flowerbeds and a rocky stream. Walking paths provide access to several sitting areas.
This is the Omaha Weather Station floor plan. The upper left corner is the quiet room, which provides storm protection when necessary. Lined with acoustic foam, this room offers several couches and foam blocks for employees to relax from a stressful job. It also serves as emergency crash space for people who get stuck at work due to bad weather because they had to stay and report on it.
Santosha is the study of contentment through yoga. Learn how to practice it.
Couples yoga, or partner yoga, features asanas with postures that require two people. It has many benefits, especially for people in therapy for a troubled relationship, because it requires teamwork and makes you more aware of each other. Calliope and Vagary are not ready to work at this level, but the premise is sound, and they can work on easier stuff with an eye toward building up enough experience to make couples yoga safe to consider. Here are some dual poses for beginners.
People question whether an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. Well, that's like asking whether an unhealthy body can become healthy. Some problems are fixable, while others aren't. Problems require work to solve. Some of what Callipe and Vagary face is fixable, and some they'll just have to learn to work around. The fact that they're both willing to work on it is an excellent sign, though. There are steps to take for improving a bad relationship, including some that don't rely primarily on talking about it.
Loving touch can help people reconnect after stressful experiences such as sexual abuse. It also builds intimacy, which should be done slowly to avoid overstraining anyone's boundaries. Browse a list of sensual and nonsexual touches.
Bodyworkers have learned that people often store emotional pain in the body, where it proceeds to cause all kinds of problems. Here is one example of a chart that maps common symptoms and their root causes. If you cannot identify a physical cause for pain, consider digging for an emotional one.
Along the stages of intimacy, hand to hand is typically the first point of physical contact. Touching shoulders or other body parts is more intimate. A good rule of thumb is to start at the outside and move in, provided both people are comfortable with advancing the intimacy.
Tornadoes can form in various ways. Among them are the high generation of a rotating cloud which reaches downward, and the lower generation of a horizontally rotating tube which tilts vertically to connect ground and sky. Know how to prepare for a tornado before and during the storm. Take cover in a storm cellar or other shelter. You can make or buy a tornado survival kit for home or office use. T-American safety regulations require that areas prone to tornados must have storm shelters sufficient to protect their population; small public places such as bus stops often have an in-ground shelter, while larger ones like malls or schools have either a basement or central multi-use area. Homes and businesses are expected to stock appropriately sized disaster kits.
In the early stages, a rotating cloud begins to project downward. Big wide tornadoes are difficult to disrupt or deflect, akin to miniature hurricanes. The little skinny ones can sometimes be disrupted, but are easy to deflect -- any touch will do it, just like touching a spinning top will make it bounce away in a random direction or sometimes topple. However, air is heavy due to atmospheric pressure. Changing any substantial mass of air therefore requires a LOT of energy.
A squall line is an extended length where conditions are right for forming violent weather. They can seed tornadoes across several states, often causing catastrophic damage.
Check out some stormchasing apps. These are fun for armchair meteorologists, but also useful in disaster preparedness.
Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink is a fortified chocolate milk. In Terramagne-America, this sort of thing is widely available, and you can even find it made with clinical-grade chocolate.
Picky Bars are good energy snacks that come in almond and other flavors.
sweet_sparrow. It also fills the "creative solutions to limits" square in my 3-1-17 card for the Disability Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.Warning: This poem includes some touchy topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It has emotional upheavals, Vagary's continued stress over Calliope not wanting to do things with him, Calliope's continued stress over his closeness, tornado formation, interrupted therapy session, which triggers Vagary's abandonment issues, unexpected changes in superpowers, Calliope looming over Vagary, emotional suppression during an emergency, an emergency dispatcher doing a shitty job, negotiating with supervillains, stormchasing, exhaustion, crashing with friends at a weather station, and other challenges. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"A Tornado of Thought"
Calliope had noticed a pattern
forming in their therapy sessions.
As soon as Mr. Gallagar asked
how things were going for them,
Vagary would launch himself into
an enthusiastic description of
the classes or support groups
he had been frequenting.
Today it happened to be yoga.
"I love the Santosha Yoga group
that meets upstairs," Vagary burbled.
"Focusing on contentment doesn't actually
solve any problems, but it makes me feel better,
and then it's easier to work on other stuff."
Calliope hadn't realized how much time
he was spending in Stillwater, until he
started gabbling about it in therapy.
"That's good news," said Mr. Gallagar.
"I'm delighted to hear that you find
our personal health programs so useful."
"Yeah, the stuff you offer here
is great," said Vagary.
"You're not as happy with what
you get elsewhere?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"No, it's not that, my regular things are
great too," said Vagary. "When I first got there,
I was ... kind of a wreck, and people picked me up
and put me back together. It helped a lot. It's just
that I've already gone through most of the offerings that
fit my interests there. The ones here are different."
"That makes sense, then; you're building on
previous resources to take advantage of
new opportunities," said Mr. Gallagar.
"What else here has caught your eye?"
"I love the idea of couples yoga;
everyone talks about how cool it is,"
Vagary began. This his face crumpled,
the way it always did when something
inevitably reminded him of their situation.
"But I know that's ... not going to happen."
Calliope felt like she was already
twisting herself into a pretzel,
trying to find some position that
wouldn't hurt both of them.
She turned her gaze toward
the window, where the rain
rattled against the glass.
"I'm afraid that's a bit ambitious
for now," said Mr. Gallagar. "However,
there are other options that can
work in a similar direction."
"Like what?" Calliope wondered.
She was in favor of anything that
would push Vagary away from
the idea of couples yoga, which
frankly gave her the creeps.
"Remember when we talked about
the Power and Control Wheel and
the Equality Wheel?" the counselor said.
Calliope and Vagary both turned to look
at the door, where those two posters
bracketed the Relationship Health Check
that decorated the office door itself.
"Yes," they chorused.
"I'd like to call your attention
to the first section, which is
Using Intimidation in Power
vs. Non-Threatening Behavior
in Equality," said Mr. Gallagar.
Both of them had problems
with that, as Vagary had violated
Calliope's boundaries enough
to make her resent him, and she
had handled him roughly enough
to make him skittish with her.
"Okay, those match," Calliope said,
uncertain what their counselor
meant for them to do about it.
"Each section matches its counterpart
on the opposite wheel," said Mr. Gallagar.
"In order to make your relationship healthier,
and thus hurt each other less, you need
to shift each section from Power to Equality."
"Sounds good to me," Vagary said.
"How do we go about doing that?"
"Well, your inclination for couples yoga
points in the right direction," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Healthy touch can produce strong benefits
in relationships troubled by violence."
"What kind of touch?" Calliope said,
narrowing her eyes. She didn't want
to touch Vagary at all, but some things
would be much worse than others.
Besides, Mr. Gallagar was good at
finding creative solutions to limits.
"Whatever feels pleasant to you,
or at least tolerable -- don't do
anything that makes you uneasy,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "There are plenty of
exercises on healthy touch you could try.
A good starting point would be comparing
your body maps, if you've done those."
Just the conversation made Calliope feel
uncomfortable, like the storm clouds
roiling above them outside.
"Yeah, we can touch hands," said Vagary.
"It helps keep the bond ... not satisfied,
really, but quieter than it was before."
Calliope grudgingly admitted
to herself that this was true.
"That's a useful discovery,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "You might also
explore what parts of your body ache
or need comfort, because people store
emotional pain in different places, which
can later impact physical health."
"Neck and upper back," Calliope confessed,
rolling her shoulders. "They get stiff."
"Hips and ankles for me," said Vagary.
"I'm not as flexible as some guys,
but the yoga sure is helping."
"Excellent," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Begin with simple hand contact,
and look for activities such as games
or dancing that would encourage that in
a natural way. From there, you should
be able to work your way up to touching
other body parts like shoulders and ankles."
"I could go with that," Vagary said.
A tornado of thought swirled around
Calliope, making her shiver at the idea
of touching Vagary or him touching her --
and then suddenly she realized that
it wasn't just the therapy making her
so uncomfortable, it was the weather
and the actual tornado it was brewing.
"Excuse me," Calliope said as she
bounded to her feet. "I have to go.
The storm is starting to spin up
into a tornado. I need to stop it."
"That's alarming," Vagary said.
"How can we help?" Mr. Gallagar said,
automatically glancing at his tablet which
currently had a weather page online. "It's
still a watch, not a warning -- do you want me
to hustle everyone into the shelter already?"
"No, it's not that bad yet; I'm more sensitive
than the weather equipment," Calliope said.
"You might want to send someone to check
on your emergency supplies, though. If I'm
not back in ten minutes, or the alarms sound,
then get everyone to safety quick as you can."
"Okay," Vagary said, his misery spilling over
Calliope. "It's only ... we just got here ..."
"Go on, Calliope, you can use the back garden,"
Mr. Gallagar said, waving her away. "Vagary,
you and I can stay here and turn this
into a private session, if you like."
Calliope ignored them in favor of
heading out the back door to deal
with the mess of weather overhead.
Cold wind pelted her with rain
as she stepped onto the back porch.
The sky was a weird blend of pale green
blotted by dark, ugly clouds overhead --
clouds that swirled ominously as
they began to form a funnel.
Calliope reached up with her hands
to get a grip on the air currents and
begin to disrupt their spiral flow.
Instead, they simply shredded in her hands.
Calliope stared up in amazement at
the tattered remnants of cloud that
had been a nascent tornado.
They didn't re-form, just scudded
along like ordinary rainclouds.
Baffled, she walked back inside
and headed to Mr. Gallagar's office.
"What did you do?" she demanded,
stalking toward Vagary. It had to be
him because nothing else had changed.
"I -- I didn't do anything," he stammered.
"I just started talking about abandonment.
You haven't even been gone five minutes."
"I didn't notice him doing anything,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "If the crisis is past,
perhaps you could sit down. I think that
your stance is making Vagary nervous."
Calliope looked down at Vagary and
noticed that, yes, he was kind of
cringing away from her.
She down sat on the arm of
the loveseat and said, "I dispersed
the tornado. It was ... easy."
"That's different from the way that
it usually feels to you?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"Yes, air is heavy," said Calliope.
"I can manipulate it, but not like that.
It usually takes a lot more effort."
"Um," said Vagary. "It could be the bond.
Enhancement of abilities is a known effect
that can occur with bonding. I just didn't
think it would happen for us, because
our bond is ... kind of a mess."
"So how do we find out whether
that's the cause?" Calliope said.
"Touch me," Vagary said, holding out
his hand to her. "Skin contact tends
to strengthen this kind of connection.
If it is the bond, then we should
be able to feel the difference."
"Okay," Calliope said, reaching out.
As soon as their fingers touched,
the power surged between them.
"Shit!" Calliope said. She pulled
her hand back, trying to shake off
the sharp, electric tingle in it.
"I guess you have your answer,"
Vagary said as he tucked his hands
tightly between his knees.
Calliope took a deep breath,
pushing her emotions down
to deal with later. Right now,
she had more important matters
that demanded her attention.
"Come with me," she invited.
"With that much of a power boost,
I should be able to clear up most
of this squall line before it does
any serious damage."
"You can reach that far?"
Vagary said, tilting his head.
"No, but I can get a teleporter
to take me stormchasing," she said.
"Okay," Vagary said. "I'll come.
"Sorry to skip out, Mr. Gallagar,
but duty calls," Calliope said.
"Go on," the counselor said.
"Saving the day is more urgent,
just remember to make up
this session at a later time."
"Understood," Calliope said,
heading for the door, with
Vagary a step behind her.
"So now what?" he asked.
"Now I call SPOON and
arrange a teleport," she said,
pulling out her phone.
But it wasn't that simple.
"Dispatch, this is Calliope,
and I need a teleport for two
to go stormchasing along
Tornado Alley," she said.
"Who are you with?" Reggie said.
"You hardly ever ride out with
anyone other than Hyperspaceman,
and if it was him, you wouldn't need
a teleporter. Shit, I hope it's not
that supervillain stalker of yours."
Calliope gritted her teeth and wished
that Reggie was as professional as
Stillwater's emergency services.
"As a matter of fact, Vagary is
my assist, and he's been very useful
to me already," she said. "Now
hurry up and get us a ride!"
"I don't know if anyone will want
to lift a supervillain --" Reggie said.
"I do not have time for this,"
Calliope snapped. "Fine, fuck it,
I'll call someone else!" She hung up.
"Problem?" Vagary asked.
"SPOON dispatch in the Heights
is being a dick," Calliope said.
"I'll have to try Easy City."
"I can get us a lift," Vagary said.
"Your 'friends' won't object
to helping a superhera?" she said.
"Not if you're with me," he said.
"They already know who you are
and it's just political differences,
not like you're a whackjob."
"What will it cost me?" Calliope said.
"Standard offer is straight trade,
we do our thing and you do yours,"
Vagary said. "That means we give you
a ride to go stormchasing today, and in
return, you do storm control for us later."
"That's all? Just do what I normally do,
only for you guys?" Calliope asked.
"That's the deal," Vagary said. "We've
got facilities in places that get rough weather.
We'd bring you in by teleport, so you wouldn't
know where, but yeah -- it's just the usual, you
calm the weather down and we're good. I'll even
throw in my company for the boost. Deal?"
Calliope only had to think about it for
a few seconds before compelling need
drove her to say, "Deal. Do it."
Vagary pulled out his phone
and muttered some kind of code
into it, followed by the request.
Then he put his palm over the phone
and said, "You don't get airsick, do you?"
"No, I ride tornados sometimes.
I can handle a little tilt-a-whirl
if your teleporter isn't so smooth,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"No problem, he's perfect," Vagary said,
then put his phone back in his pocket.
"Who's perfect?" Calliope asked.
"At least tell me who's my ride."
"Kong Vault is a fantastic teleporter,
especially if you're trying to reach
a moving target; he's got great agility,"
Vagary said. "It just means a dippy ride
sometimes. He can follow your twisters,
if you can point him to the right places."
"Oh, that's useful," Calliope said.
The teleporter who came was short
and muscular, with blond dreadlocks,
clad in a sleek and practical jumpsuit.
"I'm Kong Vault," he said. "Where to?"
Calliope showed him the stormchaser app
on her phone. "I'm following this line of
storms to scuttle tornadoes as they form,
before anyone gets hurt," she explained.
"I need to jump from one hotspot to the next."
"Can do," said Kong Vault. "Hang on."
He wrapped his powerful arms around
them, and then they were off.
The ride was smooth at first, but
it ended with a sharp swerve that
made Calliope gasp as they landed.
"Sorry about the hairpin, but
the tornado decided to take
a swipe at us," Kong Vault said.
"Good call," Calliope said,
looking at the ominous cone that
already reached almost two thirds
of the way to the ground.
She felt Vagary's hand slip into
her own, and suddenly the sky
didn't feel so overwhelming.
Calliope reached up and out with
her power, breaking up the air flow
with quick swipes of her hands.
The funnel cloud dispersed.
Kong Vault's awe shimmered
in her mind, vivid and near.
"That was amazing," he said.
"Where are we headed next?"
Calliope flicked her fingers over
the phone and pointed out
the next vortex to quell.
They spent the whole afternoon
pursuing the storm and unraveling
tornados, catching most of them
before they could touch the ground.
It was so much easier with Vagary in tow.
Calliope knew that she was covering
more than just twice as much territory
as she could typically handle.
The chase spanned three states
and ultimately left them in Nebraska,
too exhausted to do more than
stare at the flimsy drizzle that was
all that remained of the storm.
"I've got one short jump left in me,
and then I'm toast," Kong Vault warned.
"Uh huh," Calliope said, wavering on
her feet. Vagary caught her, and she was
too tired even to growl at him. "I know folks
in the Omaha weather station. They've got
a quiet room; we can all crash in there."
"They won't mind?" Vagary said with
a sloppy wave. "We're, you know ..."
"Today you're stormchasers, and we
just saved three states," Calliope said.
"If they even try to kick you out, I will
throw them out a window myself."
"Got a good one," Kong Vault said,
patting Vagary on the shoulder.
It turned out that the weather crew
had been watching them bust clouds
all afternoon, and when the tired team
came to ground at their station, they were
more than happy to provide support.
In the tender care of her friends,
Calliope devoured an almond Picky Bar,
washed it down with Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink,
and collapsed onto the nearest couch.
Vagary was already snoring on
the next one. From the rustling sounds,
Kong Vault was still working his way
through the offered snacks.
Calliope sighed in relief.
Challenges notwithstanding,
it had actually been a good day,
and she was grateful for the help
that she had received along the way.
On that note, she rolled over and went to sleep.
* * *
Notes:
Reggie Echelberger -- He has ruddy skin, blue eyes, and short strawberry blond hair. He works as a dispatcher at the SPOON base in the Heights. His superpower isn't useful in combat, but he wants to help save the day, so he became a dispatcher to support superheroes in the field. This is somewhat complicated by his tendency to moralize, and he's particularly poor at dealing with supervillains.
Origin: He developed Super-Immunity from the Aegis vaccine base, but nothing else. His superpower basically consists of never calling in sick.
Uniform: On duty, he wears the Heights SPOON uniform of a black shirt and pants with the SPOON logo embroidered in gold on the chest pocket. Off duty, he favors practical men's clothes.
Qualities: Good (+2) Computer Use, Good (+2) Fast, Good (+2) Following Rules, Good (+2) Multitasking, Good (+2) Sports Fan
Poor (-2) Moralistic
Powers: Average (0) Super-Immunity
Motivation: To be a hero.
Kong Vault (Jenner Debenport) -- He has fair skin, blue eyes, and long blond hair in dreadlocks. He is short and muscular. Kong Vault works as a teleporter for Kraken, but he's nearly neutral in personal opinion, with no particular beef against superheroes. However, he's a sucker for seduction attempts, and superheras have gotten to him more than once this way. It hasn't changed either his opinions or his love life.
Origin: Jenner was a young troublemaker until a teacher got him into track & field, where he excelled. Unfortunately for his budding sports career, puberty brought superpowers, and that disqualified him from competition. He promptly returned to making trouble, even worse than ever. A Kraken operative extracted him from Juvenile Hall and offered him an opportunity to use both his athletic and his super abilities. He accepted.
Uniform: On duty, Kong Vault wears a Kraken uniform of dexflan and capery. The jumpsuits are sensibly designed with sleek fit, plenty of pockets and fasteners for equipment. They provide Expert (+4) Camouflage to a designated user, but if worn by anyone else, turn garish neon colors. Off duty, he favors athletic men's wear.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Reliable, Good (+2) Concentration, Good (+2) Courage, Good (+2) Parkour
Poor (-2) Can't Say No to a Pretty Face
Powers: Expert (+4) Teleportation
His cargo capacity and distance are typical for his strength level, but his agility in transit is much better. Kong Vault can easily jump to or from a moving target, which many teleporters cannot, and he is very difficult to trace.
Motivation: To move efficiently through space.
A Kong vault is when the body passes over an obstacle with the legs placed between the arms. Among the most versatile vaults, it's ideal for clearing long, high objects or reaching extra distance.
-- Parkour Terminology
* * *
“A tornado of thought is unleashed after each new insight. This in turn results in an earthquake of assumptions. These are natural disasters that re-shape the spirit.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
In the Tranquility Counseling Center, the little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. This shelter holds up to 25 people. The partial wall beside the ladder holds the emergency supplies. The storage buckets convert to commodes, so one is customarily placed behind that wall with a curtain for privacy. Here is a look at some other community tornado shelters.
Office 1 is for couples counseling. The Power and Control Wheel hangs to the left of the door. The Relationship Health Check is on the door. The Equality Wheel hangs to the right of door.
The large meeting room upstairs is the multipurpose room, used for the bigger group therapy sessions and classes such as yoga. It has posters on Be Kind To Your Mind with speech bubbles, group rules, the 8 Limbs of Yoga, and a large yogasanas chart.
Behind the Tranquility Counseling Center lies a healing garden in the center of the block they share with several other buildings. It features small patches of lawn broken up by flowerbeds and a rocky stream. Walking paths provide access to several sitting areas.
This is the Omaha Weather Station floor plan. The upper left corner is the quiet room, which provides storm protection when necessary. Lined with acoustic foam, this room offers several couches and foam blocks for employees to relax from a stressful job. It also serves as emergency crash space for people who get stuck at work due to bad weather because they had to stay and report on it.
Santosha is the study of contentment through yoga. Learn how to practice it.
Couples yoga, or partner yoga, features asanas with postures that require two people. It has many benefits, especially for people in therapy for a troubled relationship, because it requires teamwork and makes you more aware of each other. Calliope and Vagary are not ready to work at this level, but the premise is sound, and they can work on easier stuff with an eye toward building up enough experience to make couples yoga safe to consider. Here are some dual poses for beginners.
People question whether an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. Well, that's like asking whether an unhealthy body can become healthy. Some problems are fixable, while others aren't. Problems require work to solve. Some of what Callipe and Vagary face is fixable, and some they'll just have to learn to work around. The fact that they're both willing to work on it is an excellent sign, though. There are steps to take for improving a bad relationship, including some that don't rely primarily on talking about it.
Loving touch can help people reconnect after stressful experiences such as sexual abuse. It also builds intimacy, which should be done slowly to avoid overstraining anyone's boundaries. Browse a list of sensual and nonsexual touches.
Bodyworkers have learned that people often store emotional pain in the body, where it proceeds to cause all kinds of problems. Here is one example of a chart that maps common symptoms and their root causes. If you cannot identify a physical cause for pain, consider digging for an emotional one.
Along the stages of intimacy, hand to hand is typically the first point of physical contact. Touching shoulders or other body parts is more intimate. A good rule of thumb is to start at the outside and move in, provided both people are comfortable with advancing the intimacy.
Tornadoes can form in various ways. Among them are the high generation of a rotating cloud which reaches downward, and the lower generation of a horizontally rotating tube which tilts vertically to connect ground and sky. Know how to prepare for a tornado before and during the storm. Take cover in a storm cellar or other shelter. You can make or buy a tornado survival kit for home or office use. T-American safety regulations require that areas prone to tornados must have storm shelters sufficient to protect their population; small public places such as bus stops often have an in-ground shelter, while larger ones like malls or schools have either a basement or central multi-use area. Homes and businesses are expected to stock appropriately sized disaster kits.
In the early stages, a rotating cloud begins to project downward. Big wide tornadoes are difficult to disrupt or deflect, akin to miniature hurricanes. The little skinny ones can sometimes be disrupted, but are easy to deflect -- any touch will do it, just like touching a spinning top will make it bounce away in a random direction or sometimes topple. However, air is heavy due to atmospheric pressure. Changing any substantial mass of air therefore requires a LOT of energy.
A squall line is an extended length where conditions are right for forming violent weather. They can seed tornadoes across several states, often causing catastrophic damage.
Check out some stormchasing apps. These are fun for armchair meteorologists, but also useful in disaster preparedness.
Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink is a fortified chocolate milk. In Terramagne-America, this sort of thing is widely available, and you can even find it made with clinical-grade chocolate.
Picky Bars are good energy snacks that come in almond and other flavors.
Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-27 05:38 am (UTC)It's more about shifting the nature of the contact, than raising the amount. Him grabbing her is bad. Her hitting him is justified in the context of self-defense, but makes both of them feel worse. Them brawling in a street fight is not helpful toward a saner mode of interaction. If they can find a form of contact that is tolerable for both, then a small amount of deliberate touching could make up for more desperate groping. Because groping is bad and gets people hurt.
Remember that the bond pulls at both of them, it's just that Vagary feels it more -- a problem due to the imbalanced dynamic. That makes it harder to think clearly, and waiting until it gets desperate means they make more mistakes.
>> without addressing the fact that that is an ongoing boundary violation for her, <<
That shows through in Calliope's general twitchiness and resentment of the bond. If I remember right, though, somewhere there's mention that healthy touch has to be comfortable or it won't work and they'll have to quit. I think
>> or that Vagary's clinginess is a large part of the problem. Reduction of the clinging thing has come up, but peripherally. <<
Vagary's clinginess is half the problem, Calliope's withdrawal the other half. (Notice they're both in therapy already, for various things. Each of those is its own challenge, separately, complicating their lives. Put the two together and kerplowie.) Two clingy people or two standoffish people would have different challenges. About 50% of people have secure attachment, which meshes well in relationships.
Trying to shift from any other attachment style to secure is helpful, but very difficult. The other styles emerge from insecure situations, so it takes a lot of reliability to fix. They haven't really known each other long enough for that. Any kind of regular schedule can help, though, if people actually keep it. So far, they're both keeping it, aside from the tornado interruption. That will probably help Vagary's clinginess before it touches Calliope's withdrawal.
Of course, that could set them up for a solution-caused problem. He's been doing all the pursuit work, because he feels the bond more. If Vagary stops or at least greatly reduces that, it might actually drop below the threshold where Calliope would start feeling it as a need, rather than a vaguely annoying ache or itch. I doubt she'd react well to that. She couldn't just tell Vagary to go back to what he was doing, and I don't think she'd be comfortable just asking for contact. :/
>> The increasing amount of tolerated touch thing feels similar to the sort of '... okay, you don't like to be touched, but just deal with it, normal people deal with it, chill out' reaction I've known personally. <<
That's not good.
>> Calliope's boundaries are being walked on, and not just by Vagary and/or bond necessities. <<
The bond part is the least flexible part, but mostly what it does is limit their ability to separate permanently and create a certain spillover. It's nowhere near as extreme as it could be -- they aren't stuck in the same room, don't have to have sex, and don't need copious physical contact. It's just if they go too far (across the globe is bad, but across the continent seems fine) or too long (not sure about this limit, but it seems they can go days without seeing each other) then it gets unpleasant.
It's kind of like fiddling around with Total Comfort Level. How little proximity is too little, the bond acts up, and they feel like crap? They tested that to destruction with Vagary's trip to Europe. How much proximity is too much, and Calliope feels smothered, which rains on Vagary and makes him feel miserable? Obviously him pouncing on her is bad, but I suspect that just seeing him too often or too long would do the same. They need to find a balance, if there even is one, and they haven't found it yet.
I suspect that Vagary is more malleable than Calliope. He's been romping through all kinds of extra therapy offerings with great enthusiasm. Calliope has drawn a very firm boundary there -- she'll do the couples therapy but hasn't been interested in any more. That's likely due to the transgender background; it's hard enough to rebuild your personality once without people kibbitzing that you should be doing it differently.
>>I would *love* to see a practical discussion, and an equally practical implementation of what Alatefeline describes regarding the fact that not all limits can or should be forced, including nonsexual intimacy. Yes, that probably means you bringing up the subject and realizing how it very practically applies to your clients, Mr. Gallagar. Not that I dislike the man, just that I'd think he'd know that reality for what it is, and figure out its implications for these two. <<
I'm open to discussing it. Have you got any other ideas for things they could try?
They've got some leeway in the bond, but it only stretches so far, and it's both safer and more comfortable if they keep some slack in it rather than stretching too much. They're looking for ways to get by without hurting themselves or each other. Vagary is willing to work on boundary issues but has a hard time seeing them. I think Calliope is more focused on not crossing her own lines than Vagary's.
Talking about soft vs. hard limits might help. Being around Vagary is a soft limit for Calliope. She was tracking him even before they got stuck together, she can put up with him for a while but not indefinitely. Gender identity is one of her hard limits -- she wouldn't tolerate Vagary calling her "he" and interestingly, Vagary is totally accepting of her feminine nature. Hitting is a soft boundary for Vagary. He considers it a normal part of street fights, but he won't tolerate it in a domestic context. Hard limits, he's not a nutjob and wouldn't put up with someone prone to killing.
Mr. Gallagar is aware that no one technique works for everyone. He's also trying to translate standard counseling techniques to a very nonstandard situation. I don't think even Kraken has a tipsheet on how to handle accidental bonding yet. All they've got is a few safety warnings.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-28 12:51 am (UTC)In the middle of my workday, I tripped face-first over the realization that Vagary, due to his stronger awareness of the bond, essentially has a 24/7 nonconsensual read on Cal's emotions, and proximity doesn't alter it. Correct me if I'm wrong on details there? I very well could be. ... I wound up imagining the realization of that fact hitting me, were I the one force-bonded, in the middle of some moment of happiness or amusement or even anger, every few days, over and over and repeat. I got back a pretty distinct impression of a bucket of metaphorical ice water down the back, a queasy squirmy stomach, and a killed enjoyment of whatever I was enjoying. Then I wondered if it wouldn't be better *not* to have emotions, if it meant not having someone have a continuous, globe-spanning one-sided read on me without my permission...
Which is when I realized that my reaction to the whole forced bond thing was reeeeeally getting conflated with Cal's, that I'd very likely have far more issues with the violation aspect of this whole mess than Cal seems to, and that I was treading perilously close to a yellow call. Not on you. On me, and my interactions with this subthread, and what I can take. *Please* don't take this as anything against you, Ysabet, because <333. But this subthread, and forced intimacy, and Cal's limits being pushed in ways that Vagary's aren't (the guy isn't a complete shit, but he *likes* the damn bond), and Cal being viewed through an unstated lens of intractable partner/bully rather than reasonably wary victim 1 of 2, and what I've recently told you backchannel about forced intimacy and my own reactions to same... I need to call yellow and tap out, temporarily. *Only* of this subthread, not of any of the rest of your wonderful work, and hopefully just for a little while.
<3 <3 <3 I really hope you're not furious now?
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-28 05:27 am (UTC)We can do that. Feel free to prompt for that.
>> Yes, there's the bond to work around, but I'm assuming everyone is working within that constraint and knows it. <<
Well, Calliope and Vagary do. They've told Mr. Gallagar. At least Vagary's closest contacts in Kraken know about it. Calliope ... I'm not sure she's told anyone else. 0_o She may not have any other support on this, which is not great, but it's probably a reaction to the involuntary bond: she doesn't have to tell anyone else, so she hasn't, and that makes her feel better.
>> In the middle of my workday, I tripped face-first over the realization that Vagary, due to his stronger awareness of the bond, essentially has a 24/7 nonconsensual read on Cal's emotions, and proximity doesn't alter it. Correct me if I'm wrong on details there? <<
* Originally, Vagary was a telepath and Calliope was an empath. Since bonding, they've both started to shift toward telempathy, but it's not fully developed yet, more like spillover.
* Normally, a telepath will get a little emotional resonance, but nowhere near as much as an empath. Vagary's isn't very strong, so he usually just picks loud thoughts out of the ambient. He can bump it from Average to Good if he Phases through someone, but he doesn't like doing that because it makes him very uncomfortable. I suspect that's his demi-ish nature in play.
* Occasionally, an empath will get words, but it's almost always feelings. Calliope doesn't seem to use hers very much, it's more just picking up strong impressions than actively searching for anything.
* People can learn to shield. Those with psychic gifts typically get training, because otherwise they're swamped by crowd impressions which is pretty awful. Calliope and Vagary both have some ability to keep their own stuff private, and to block out stuff from other people. But that takes energy.
* A bond includes a carrier wave. Even people who aren't psychic will pick up something from it, although it's stronger for psychics. It runs very deep, which has advantages and disadvantages. It can't be blocked completely, but it can be damped down somewhat.
* The bond IS sensitive to distance and proximity. That's a key reason why it's driving them nuts: it draws them toward each other. The farther apart they are, the less they sense each other, but the more it pulls. Far away, only major spikes will get through; close together, it picks up more. There's a "sweet spot" in the middle where they're far enough away that they don't rain all over each other, but not so far that it hurts. The closer they are, the more they pick up, or else the more work it is to block out the impression. Physical contact makes it much stronger. You can see the parallel in Calliope's superpower: just having Vagary a few yards away gave her a substantial boost, and when they touched, it was even bigger.
* The effects are reciprocal, but not identical. Vagary is primarily a telepath, which means he can send and receive thoughts. He doesn't pick up much emotion, except from Calliope, because she can broadcast as well as receive. Conversely, she rarely gets thoughts except from Vagary. But the more those powers merge, the more he gets emotions in general and she starts picking up thoughts in general, which is damn distracting.
* Similarly, the boundary infringement is mutual. Having someone else know what you're feeling or thinking sucks, because you lose your privacy. But getting someone else's stuff when you don't want it also sucks -- it's like being trapped in an elevator with the rude jerk who won't stop talking about horribly intimate details in front of strangers. O_O The other aggravating thing is you have no context. You get these thoughts or surges of emotion, but you don't know why, so it's hard to tell what's a real issue and what can just be ignored. On the one hoof,
* Vagary feels the bond far more than Calliope does, which makes him more sensitive to her feelings. Imagine wanting desperately to belong, but the person he wants just keeps emptying her emotional garbage can over his head. :( He hasn't mentioned much of this, but there are glimpses of it in things like how he enjoys being near her more than together, because as soon as she sees him, it sours her mood. Conversely, Calliope is more powerful than Vagary. That means she has more energy to block the bond, as well as having less of it to block. It also means if she wanted to roll him, he'd have very little ability to resist.
Put all that together, and it's not 24/7 contact. That's what you get with a healthy bond between fond partners, or an equal bond jammed wide open between people who don't know anything about blocking it and can't get away from each other. What Calliope and Vagary have is ... like a radio station that comes in clearer the closer they get, but it's prone to surges when one of them thinks or feels something very strongly. They can turn it "down" but not "off." Much of the time, the bond is kind of like white noise in the background, it's there but not doing much. Occasionally it spikes and that can be distracting or uncomfortable. When it comes to philosophical affront over the lack of privacy, Calliope feels it more. On the level of emotional impact, though, Vagary bears the brunt of it. She doesn't always bother to shield, and she can be damn loud on a psychic level.
>> I very well could be. ... I wound up imagining the realization of that fact hitting me, were I the one force-bonded, in the middle of some moment of happiness or amusement or even anger, every few days, over and over and repeat.<<
That would suck. Calliope has probably had a few of those moments. However, she has the option of shielding -- from light everyday shields, to cranking it up when more privacy is desired.
Come to think of it, one thing that would help a lot would be a portable privacy field or psychic shield. They're expensive super-gizmos, but they exist. It wouldn't block the bond completely, but would interfere with the signal enough to muddle clarity, so that it's carrying more presence than information. Most people find the privacy field soothing Catch is, you can't use something like that all the time, it's bad for your personality and worse for a bond. But as something to use for a few hours of private discussion, sure, it'd be perfect.
Which raises a very interesting point. Magneto runs around in a metal helmet all the time because his boyfriend can't keep his damn glossy hands to himself. Calliope doesn't. It's pretty well known in Terramagne that aluminum interferes with mind powers. She could shut out that layer of contact. It's not good for psychics to do that, it feels like having your head in a sack, but it's an option. People who can't shield will do it just to get some peace.
An even more interesting point: telepaths tend to be ethical. Not always, but as a general trend. Vagary doesn't have the "mentally fastidious" trait as much as typical in T-America, but I would bet that's because someone has beaten hell out of his boundaries. Even when he's spying, he tends to skim broadcast thoughts rather than digging into people's heads, and he dislikes the added intimacy of Phasing. Calliope has some idea of his telepathy, because their powers touch. I would bet that she hasn't consciously thought about what that means, because she tends to ignore Vagary. There's an odd dichotomy: since telepaths tend to be ethical, some people respect them more; but others hate and fear them just for being telepaths. I don't think Calliope is the kind of spork that would detest telepaths. If she actually stopped and thought about Vagary being a telepath, that might help counterbalance her tendency to think of him as a supervillain and therefore a bad person.
>> I got back a pretty distinct impression of a bucket of metaphorical ice water down the back, a queasy squirmy stomach, and a killed enjoyment of whatever I was enjoying. Then I wondered if it wouldn't be better *not* to have emotions, if it meant not having someone have a continuous, globe-spanning one-sided read on me without my permission... <<
Yeesh. Not fun. But the one who gets dumped on more often, and worse, is Vagary. He's going along perfectly content with what he's doing, and suddenly gets blindsided by a wave of intense emotion from Calliope. Doesn't happen often if they're far apart, but he never knows when it will. It happens pretty much every time they meet, though: she's happy or at least treading water, she sees him, her mood tanks, and he gets hit in the face with that surge. It doesn't seem to last too long, because at the beginning of therapy, he's often bubbling about his recent activities. But it's there. Like opening the door to a doctor's office and getting that sharp wave of disinfectant and sick people and misery. As a telepath, Vagary rarely picks up much emotion, so he's not use to coping with other people's feelings; he gets more from Calliope due to the bond and her being an empath so her emotions carry more. It's hard on him, and he's keeping it mostly to himself.
Now here's a fascinating thing: what he's NOT doing. He's not calling her to ask what's up. I don't think he has once phoned, texted, or banged on her door to ask what that spike of rage or terror was all about. (That's a common issue in many bondfics, which is sometimes sweet but often a boundary violation, where one character keeps asking the other what's going on.) And I don't think Vagary is likely to, unless he feels like Calliope is actively dying right that minute. She has made it abundantly clear that he's not welcome.
I don't think Calliope has tried to contact him, but I doubt she'd see the same barrier. If his thoughts were really bugging her, she'd want to tell him to shut the fuck up.
This is so cool. I hadn't noticed some of this stuff until you and
>> Which is when I realized that my reaction to the whole forced bond thing was reeeeeally getting conflated with Cal's, that I'd very likely have far more issues with the violation aspect of this whole mess than Cal seems to, and that I was treading perilously close to a yellow call. Not on you. On me, and my interactions with this subthread, and what I can take. <<
If you're not comfortable with it, you can quit. That's fine. Thanks for the insights I've gotten so far.
>> *Please* don't take this as anything against you, Ysabet, because <333. <<
No problem.
>> But this subthread, and forced intimacy, and Cal's limits being pushed in ways that Vagary's aren't (the guy isn't a complete shit, but he *likes* the damn bond), <<
He likes the bond. That doesn't mean he isn't hurt by it, just that it's in different ways than what makes Calliope uncomfortable.
>> and Cal being viewed through an unstated lens of intractable partner/bully rather than reasonably wary victim 1 of 2, <<
I think that much of her reaction has been reasonable. She's the more aggressive of the two, though, and crossed some of her own lines. *ponder* It might be interesting for her to talk about this with other people, who would probably span a range of "He's a supervillain. Why not just crack him over the head a few times and turn him in to the police? If he's in jail, you'd only have to see him when you wanted to." to "Holy shit, you can't hit people like that, it's abuse." Trouble is, I don't think she's talking about this to anyone but Mr. Gallagar and Vagary. And trying to force Calliope into group therapy or talking with friends definitely would feel like a boundary violation to me.
>> and what I've recently told you backchannel about forced intimacy and my own reactions to same... I need to call yellow and tap out, temporarily. *Only* of this subthread, not of any of the rest of your wonderful work, and hopefully just for a little while. <<
Okay. Don't feel obligated to answer the replies if it's more than you've got spoons for.
>> <3 <3 <3 I really hope you're not furious now? <<
No problem. I've gotten some great stuff out of this discussion -- stuff they've been doing, that I hadn't noticed before, because I don't think they're paying attention to it.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-28 11:13 am (UTC)Okay, the explanation of these two as far as psychic gifts and bond realities goes does help. That's better than the alternative I'd pictured... which was downright horrifying.
Hmm. Maybe if Cal thought of Vagary as a telepath, it would help. I'd be interested to see what that did for her view of him as evil/not so evil.
Some of the trouble is, we're aware that Calliope is miserable with the bond situation, that her mood tanks when Vagary shows up, that she's prone to withdraw while Vagary clings and grabs. The fact that Vagary is just as miserable doesn't show through nearly as much, except in the clingy grabby aspect and a sense of vague loneliness. At least, it doesn't show through to me. Ditto the fact that Cal's boundaries are being walked on; she's twitchy overall, but it would help if the ongoing problem were explicitly stated by someone.
I do need to tap out, but seriously, *hugs*.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-28 09:58 pm (UTC)>> Okay, the explanation of these two as far as psychic gifts and bond realities goes does help. That's better than the alternative I'd pictured... which was downright horrifying. <<
Yay!
Bondfic is touchy stuff, but each bond is unique and the range of even the most common features is pretty wide.
>> Hmm. Maybe if Cal thought of Vagary as a telepath, it would help. I'd be interested to see what that did for her view of him as evil/not so evil. <<
That's entirely possible. I'm open to exploring it, and I think this would be a good idea. They haven't talked much about how the bond relates to their superpowers, or how their abilities influence their opinions of each other.
>> Some of the trouble is, we're aware that Calliope is miserable with the bond situation, that her mood tanks when Vagary shows up, that she's prone to withdraw while Vagary clings and grabs. The fact that Vagary is just as miserable doesn't show through nearly as much, except in the clingy grabby aspect and a sense of vague loneliness.<<
It occurs to me that one thing we need is a poem or few from Vagary's perspective. Calliope has gotten all the airtime so far, because it's her series. But remember that only a couple of people liked Shiv before we got more of his perspective and why he is the way he is. He's still a little shit, but people have more sympathy now that they know where he's coming from.
>> At least, it doesn't show through to me. Ditto the fact that Cal's boundaries are being walked on; she's twitchy overall, but it would help if the ongoing problem were explicitly stated by someone. <<
True. And because we've only seen it from her perspective, it's harder to see what the bond is doing to Vagary, or that his boundary issues leave him vulnerable in addition to him butting in where he shouldn't.
>> I do need to tap out, but seriously, *hugs*. <<
No problem. *hugs*
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-29 04:09 am (UTC)*hugs*
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-31 05:42 pm (UTC)I think it could turn out well.
>> and I'd be curious to read a poem or few from Vagary's point of view. <<
Yay! :D
>>If Vagary can come to see Calliope, and her actions, as genuinely reasonable... As in, she's prone to withdrawing from him, but she's not doing so to be a jerk or out of baseless reaction. <<
I think he finds her more confusing than obnoxious. The main time he found her unreasonable was when she punched him -- and that's because they were using different frameworks. He didn't realize, even after she told him the first time, what her perspective was. It didn't really sink in until it came up in therapy, and then he was horrified. I imagine he's been told "If you want me to stop, say so or push me away, don't hit me" often enough for that to be assumed as a standard parameter. He's made an effort to respect boundaries that she has verbalized, within the range of what the bond will allow. For her to jump straight to hitting him means she didn't think "let go of me" would work. That hurts.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-29 05:54 am (UTC)Huh, that just gave me a thought. Sometimes people can open up more with a complete stranger who they'll never see again than with anyone they actually know -- it's kind of the flip side of how net.anonymity creates trolls. What if Calliope were to fall into a late-night conversation (in a donut shop, maybe?) with someone who was just passing thru town, might she manage to let some of this out? I think she'd have to recognize the other person as transgender also, or she'd never let down her guard enough. But if that other person had some EFA and/or counseling experience, the results could be interesting.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2017-03-29 11:02 am (UTC)That's true.
>> What if Calliope were to fall into a late-night conversation (in a donut shop, maybe?) with someone who was just passing thru town, might she manage to let some of this out? <<
Oh, that could work. :D
>> I think she'd have to recognize the other person as transgender also, or she'd never let down her guard enough. <<
I tend to agree. But it's actually easy to spot, much of the time, if you know what to look for -- and transfolk will often drop a hairpin if they notice each other.
>> But if that other person had some EFA and/or counseling experience, the results could be interesting. <<
Emotional First Aide on her way to work in the Heights, going where the need is greatest.
Good match for Tuesday's "living in the cracks" theme.