>>One thing about death, personified or not, is that death isn't the enemy. If someone shoots me tomorrow, it's not Death I have a beef with - it's the shooter. I know people who've cursed death because of cancer - cancer is life run amok, and it caused the death - death just took over when the time came. <<
Well said.
>>That doesn't change a whole lot, of course. It's a bit easier to blame death than shooters or cancer. <<
It's always easier to shoot the messenger. But that never solves anything.
>>But sometimes it helps direct energy at the right problem. If a loved one is dying, that hurts - but what hurts? The impending loss? The things unsaid? Wanting more time to be with them? Then sometimes, not always, you find there is something you can do about that thing that hurts.<<
There is always something you can do. Even if the person is already gone and your relationship was a mess, you can do your own share of the headwork in the meantime. This will then make it easier to catch up when you meet on the other side. It's like, you know, if someone you loved left the dishes or laundry undone and you did it for them. Can't fix their end of it without them, but you can make a good start on your end.
Most people don't want to do this kind of work, but occasionally they do, and there's actually a bit of support for it in the books. The empty chair exercise works pretty well.
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dancing_serpent
Re: Thought I'd responded to this earlier...
Date: 2017-01-07 04:08 am (UTC)Well said.
>>That doesn't change a whole lot, of course. It's a bit easier to blame death than shooters or cancer. <<
It's always easier to shoot the messenger. But that never solves anything.
>>But sometimes it helps direct energy at the right problem. If a loved one is dying, that hurts - but what hurts? The impending loss? The things unsaid? Wanting more time to be with them? Then sometimes, not always, you find there is something you can do about that thing that hurts.<<
There is always something you can do. Even if the person is already gone and your relationship was a mess, you can do your own share of the headwork in the meantime. This will then make it easier to catch up when you meet on the other side. It's like, you know, if someone you loved left the dishes or laundry undone and you did it for them. Can't fix their end of it without them, but you can make a good start on your end.
Most people don't want to do this kind of work, but occasionally they do, and there's actually a bit of support for it in the books. The empty chair exercise works pretty well.