An Example of Heroism
Oct. 5th, 2013 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithI love this comic, "Superman: Grounded." It's a brilliant example of heroism in action.
Some kinds of problems are not the kind that can be readily solved by force, but benefit from heroic assistance anyway. Someone's life falling apart to the point they consider or attempt suicide is an excellent example of that. You could forcibly trap them in an unbearable life, and in fact, that's the conventional treatment of suicide watch. It also happens to be torture, since after all the person feels that their life is literally a fate worse than death. So unless you can fix the original damage and the damage from violating their agency, neither of which is easy, they're just going to die of stress or suicide at slightly later point. If you want to solve the problem for real, it's going to take a lot more work.
Gentleness is strength under control. It means you don't do things by force just because you can and it's a quick easy solution. It means you look for something that will actually solve the problem, and you use your abilities only as much as needed to get there. You think about leverage and just where to push so you can use the least possible influence to get the best possible result. This is what lets you handle fragile people or objects without breaking them.
Honor means respecting other people's agency. It means letting them make the meaningful decisions about their life, even if you don't agree with their choices. It means giving and keeping your word even when it's hard. Because that is what lends weight to your word and enables you to move people with it who would not be moved otherwise.
Help means giving other people what they need, not just what you want to give. It means asking what they need and going along with that, even if it's inconvenient. Sometimes, maybe you have to step on a few toes or bend the rules to make that happen. As long as nobody gets hurt, it's working.
Care means involving yourself in someone else's difficulties. It means listening with an open mind and an open heart. It means giving someone your time and attention. It means setting aside the rest of the world for a little while, because the person you're with is worth that to you. And when you demonstrate that to them, not just with words but with actions, sometimes that makes the difference. Care can give people the strength to keep going.
Trust is something you build together with someone else. It's an exchange of vulnerability as well as information. It's about leaning on each other. If you're lucky, you have plenty of time to build up a trusting relationship before something serious goes wrong. But sometimes you don't have that luxury. Sometimes you're already in the middle of an emergency -- which is typical for heroes -- so you have to build trust very quickly in the midst of all that mayhem. You could lie, and again, that's a tactic recommended in conventional rescue work. But a hero works through radical trust, which is a more challenging and more powerful technique. Talk. Listen. Seek for parallels without comparing the respective intensity of anyone's experiences. Solve any problems that come within reach. Behave with integrity. Do the best you can. Trust is like silk: thin and supple, but stronger than steel.
Life isn't fair. The point of civilization is to make life more fair. We don't have to -- never have, as a species -- accept the world the way it is. We change the parts we don't like. Eat or be eaten, kill or be killed, only the strong shall survive; those are natural laws. We made some other laws to make up for the fact that living by those alone is unacceptable to human beings. Any time we find ourselves unsatisfied with the results, we can try again to do better. We can reach out to each other and make up for the fact that the world runs over people sometimes. We don't have to let them lie there and suffer; we can try to help. That's heroism.
I've seen a bunch of Superman movies, read some of the comics, all kinds of stuff. And I think this is one of the most heroic things I've ever seen him do. Why? Two reasons:
1) Talking down a jumper is extremely difficult. Even experts don't always succeed. So it's a lot harder than most of what Superman does. Hitting supervillains is easy for him, and it works consistently. Sure, it requires a little physical exertion, but this is the Man of Steel. It's not really that hard for him. This was hard.
2) Dealing with a suicidal person is emotionally hazardous. It's very easy to get yourself hurt in the process. Superman being who he is, if talking hadn't worked, he would have let her jump -- and his heart would have gone SMASH right along with her. That can do permanent, life-wrecking damage to a person. Most of the time, the guy is invulnerable; he usually fights on a physical level where nobody can really hurt him. Unless somebody whips out the kryptonite, no matter what he's doing, he isn't actually at risk. This was risky.
It was hard, it was risky, and he did it anyway. Without hesitating. That's heroism.
I really, really wish that superhero comics would serve up things like this more often. It's a whole different kind of story. It's not a nonpowered story: look at how he uses flight and heat vision to do things that wouldn't have worked for an ordinary person. Getting close enough to a jumper without spooking them off the edge is really hard. Flight makes that easier. Once you've formed a connection, you don't want to leave them even for a second. Heat vision makes it possible to cut power to the spotlight from a distance, and superhero status makes it unlikely the cops will yawp about the damage. It's a situation that ordinary people could deal with, and do, but the extra abilities raise the chances of success if applied just right. Superman knows enough, and cares enough, to apply finesse instead of force.
And it works.
MOAR, PLZ!
Some kinds of problems are not the kind that can be readily solved by force, but benefit from heroic assistance anyway. Someone's life falling apart to the point they consider or attempt suicide is an excellent example of that. You could forcibly trap them in an unbearable life, and in fact, that's the conventional treatment of suicide watch. It also happens to be torture, since after all the person feels that their life is literally a fate worse than death. So unless you can fix the original damage and the damage from violating their agency, neither of which is easy, they're just going to die of stress or suicide at slightly later point. If you want to solve the problem for real, it's going to take a lot more work.
Gentleness is strength under control. It means you don't do things by force just because you can and it's a quick easy solution. It means you look for something that will actually solve the problem, and you use your abilities only as much as needed to get there. You think about leverage and just where to push so you can use the least possible influence to get the best possible result. This is what lets you handle fragile people or objects without breaking them.
Honor means respecting other people's agency. It means letting them make the meaningful decisions about their life, even if you don't agree with their choices. It means giving and keeping your word even when it's hard. Because that is what lends weight to your word and enables you to move people with it who would not be moved otherwise.
Help means giving other people what they need, not just what you want to give. It means asking what they need and going along with that, even if it's inconvenient. Sometimes, maybe you have to step on a few toes or bend the rules to make that happen. As long as nobody gets hurt, it's working.
Care means involving yourself in someone else's difficulties. It means listening with an open mind and an open heart. It means giving someone your time and attention. It means setting aside the rest of the world for a little while, because the person you're with is worth that to you. And when you demonstrate that to them, not just with words but with actions, sometimes that makes the difference. Care can give people the strength to keep going.
Trust is something you build together with someone else. It's an exchange of vulnerability as well as information. It's about leaning on each other. If you're lucky, you have plenty of time to build up a trusting relationship before something serious goes wrong. But sometimes you don't have that luxury. Sometimes you're already in the middle of an emergency -- which is typical for heroes -- so you have to build trust very quickly in the midst of all that mayhem. You could lie, and again, that's a tactic recommended in conventional rescue work. But a hero works through radical trust, which is a more challenging and more powerful technique. Talk. Listen. Seek for parallels without comparing the respective intensity of anyone's experiences. Solve any problems that come within reach. Behave with integrity. Do the best you can. Trust is like silk: thin and supple, but stronger than steel.
Life isn't fair. The point of civilization is to make life more fair. We don't have to -- never have, as a species -- accept the world the way it is. We change the parts we don't like. Eat or be eaten, kill or be killed, only the strong shall survive; those are natural laws. We made some other laws to make up for the fact that living by those alone is unacceptable to human beings. Any time we find ourselves unsatisfied with the results, we can try again to do better. We can reach out to each other and make up for the fact that the world runs over people sometimes. We don't have to let them lie there and suffer; we can try to help. That's heroism.
I've seen a bunch of Superman movies, read some of the comics, all kinds of stuff. And I think this is one of the most heroic things I've ever seen him do. Why? Two reasons:
1) Talking down a jumper is extremely difficult. Even experts don't always succeed. So it's a lot harder than most of what Superman does. Hitting supervillains is easy for him, and it works consistently. Sure, it requires a little physical exertion, but this is the Man of Steel. It's not really that hard for him. This was hard.
2) Dealing with a suicidal person is emotionally hazardous. It's very easy to get yourself hurt in the process. Superman being who he is, if talking hadn't worked, he would have let her jump -- and his heart would have gone SMASH right along with her. That can do permanent, life-wrecking damage to a person. Most of the time, the guy is invulnerable; he usually fights on a physical level where nobody can really hurt him. Unless somebody whips out the kryptonite, no matter what he's doing, he isn't actually at risk. This was risky.
It was hard, it was risky, and he did it anyway. Without hesitating. That's heroism.
I really, really wish that superhero comics would serve up things like this more often. It's a whole different kind of story. It's not a nonpowered story: look at how he uses flight and heat vision to do things that wouldn't have worked for an ordinary person. Getting close enough to a jumper without spooking them off the edge is really hard. Flight makes that easier. Once you've formed a connection, you don't want to leave them even for a second. Heat vision makes it possible to cut power to the spotlight from a distance, and superhero status makes it unlikely the cops will yawp about the damage. It's a situation that ordinary people could deal with, and do, but the extra abilities raise the chances of success if applied just right. Superman knows enough, and cares enough, to apply finesse instead of force.
And it works.
MOAR, PLZ!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 06:12 am (UTC)-songspinner9
*hugs*
Date: 2013-10-06 06:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 06:58 am (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2013-10-06 09:22 pm (UTC)This comic wound up inspiring a poem, so I'm pleased.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 11:40 am (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2013-10-06 08:28 pm (UTC)This also inspired a poem in my own superhero writing, about a major character conflict over what it means to be a hero.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-07 09:14 pm (UTC)And that's the thing I hate. I grew up told you were supposed to stay no matter what because it was cowardly and dishonorable to leave (trust me, if you're southern and male, this shuts you down like no-one's business), and you'll hurt soooo many people (because sticking around in defeat and resentful really benefits them). That's a trap. I nearly died being trapped and stuck as a kid, so that actually makes me feel worse than contemplating bailing out makes me feel. I consider myself lucky, but I really wish people were more careful about how they phrased this stuff and worry that if it makes me feel worse, it'll literally make other people bail out.
Yes...
Date: 2013-10-08 12:05 am (UTC)It's a problem, although many people refuse to admit that. I consider it abusive to trap someone in an unbearable situation, especially if no help is offered and they're just supposed to "suck it up."
Then people wonder why nobody wants to get mental health care.
>> I grew up told you were supposed to stay no matter what because it was cowardly and dishonorable to leave (trust me, if you're southern and male, this shuts you down like no-one's business), <<
Those memes are troublesome.
>> and you'll hurt soooo many people <<
This one, however, is demonstrably true. Much has been written about the damage done to survivors when a relative, friend, or even acquaintance commits suicide. They tear themselves apart wondering if there was something more they could have done. It would help a lot to teach people better skills for emotional first aid, so they're more able to notice and help when things start to go wrong rather than waiting for a fatal meltdown.
>> (because sticking around in defeat and resentful really benefits them). <<
Well no, it usually doesn't benefit them. It may avoid the direct damage of suicide. It's not necessarily a healthy relationship.
>>That's a trap. I nearly died being trapped and stuck as a kid, so that actually makes me feel worse than contemplating bailing out makes me feel.<<
How awful.
>> I consider myself lucky, <<
You are that. I'm glad that things are at least a little better now.
>> but I really wish people were more careful about how they phrased this stuff and worry that if it makes me feel worse, it'll literally make other people bail out. <<
Yes, exactly. Increasing the social pressure will not make someone more willing or able to remain. It squeezes them out of life instead. Helping requires lowering the total pressure enough for them to tolerate living so they can work on solving the underlying problems. That usually requires outside support as well. It's more support-work than most bystanders are willing to provide.
I have minimal tolerance for people who want someone else to do all the work with no resources to do it with.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 09:15 am (UTC)May I quote your "Life isn't fair" paragraph elsewhere? I'm locked in an argument with someone and it says what I want to say only better.
You're welcome!
Date: 2013-10-06 09:21 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed this.
>> May I quote your "Life isn't fair" paragraph elsewhere? I'm locked in an argument with someone and it says what I want to say only better. <<
Yes, go ahead. I'm happy to help.
The first two lines -- "Life isn't fair. The purpose of civilization is to make life more fair." -- are my description of moral evolution that I've been using for years. The rest is elaboration on that premise. Almost all our laws are basically an attempt to keep humans from preying on each other or being devoured by wilderness. The fact that life is often unfair should not stop us from trying to make it better.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 10:53 am (UTC)That however, gave me a lump in my throat. I've been there, standing on a ledge like that.
Yes...
Date: 2013-10-06 06:41 pm (UTC)Agreed. I like my Superman pure of heart.
>> That however, gave me a lump in my throat. I've been there, standing on a ledge like that. <<
*hugs* Fly with me? I may not be able to save the world, but I can make happy things for you to read when you're feeling blue.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-10-06 09:51 pm (UTC)It was long ago, and I pretty much came to that conclusion as the moment passed, the sun came out and a hawk flew by under my feet... but yeah.... It helps to be reminded that it's not all dome&gloom, and no matter how bad the world seems to be [and probably is] there's good things to read too.
Nobody said we had to save the whole world, just a little bit of it now & again, as the opportunity arises. Some days, it just happens to be the bit called you...
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-10-06 11:39 pm (UTC)I'm glad that it worked out for you.
>> but yeah.... It helps to be reminded that it's not all dome&gloom, and no matter how bad the world seems to be [and probably is] there's good things to read too. <<
The world is always a mix of good and bad parts. When someone is overwhelmed by the bad, shifting circumstances will usually help. People are most often inclined to give up when they are forcibly trapped in an unendurable situation. Support and mobility make all the difference.
>> Nobody said we had to save the whole world, just a little bit of it now & again, as the opportunity arises. Some days, it just happens to be the bit called you... <<
Sooth.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 01:50 pm (UTC)I doubt we could.
Heroes are about the way we imprint on others. Humans look for the most inspiring examples of behavior in others, and choose that for ourselves. If you want a slum-born child to reach for something, you give that child an example they can relate to; otherwise the drug dealer up the street who makes enough money to buy things he wants will become their hero. Because as humans we seek what satisfies, and if we can't find hope, we'll look for power; if we can't find compassion, we'll look for force; if we can't find truth that withstands oppression, we'll look for lies that sustain us in its face -- even though power, force, and lies will all explode and collapse when we rely on them too much.
Even villains have to believe they were justified in their actions. That's what makes heroes even more powerful: they do the thing that is harder than what the villains do, and in a way that inspires.
And inspiration can conquer anything if it has hope to feed it.
Thoughts
Date: 2013-10-07 08:51 am (UTC)I agree.
>>Heroes are about the way we imprint on others. Humans look for the most inspiring examples of behavior in others, and choose that for ourselves.<<
Well said.
>> If you want a slum-born child to reach for something, you give that child an example they can relate to; otherwise the drug dealer up the street who makes enough money to buy things he wants will become their hero. <<
Which is not an accident.
>> Even villains have to believe they were justified in their actions. <<
I am more entertained by villains who have understandable motivations for what they do, however warped their methods. I am utterly thrilled with villains who are actually right even if they wreck the world in their pursuit of ideals.
>> That's what makes heroes even more powerful: they do the thing that is harder than what the villains do, and in a way that inspires. <<
Sooth.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 04:09 pm (UTC)But that made me think... whether it was OOC or not, a life was saved... those wires will fix. The girl's heart... not so much... nor Clark's heart if he fails.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 05:52 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2013-10-06 08:23 pm (UTC)Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 08:21 pm (UTC)* If Superman has a cell phone, he could call down and ask to have the light turned off. It's a logical item to have, but he probably doesn't, and it wouldn't be as engaging in the plot.
* So he could shout at them; he has a super voice, which would carry. That's really disruptive, not a good thing under the circumstances.
* He could fly down. But once you've established rapport with a distressed person, you REALLY don't want to interrupt that.
Which leaves addressing the problem from on high. Cutting the power cord was the least destructive option, compared with other things like slagging the spotlight itself. As pointed out, severed wires are easy to fix. This is a thoughtful use of power and a good illustration of how being super gives someone an advantage in challenging situations.
Also, this has looped around to Polychrome Heroics and inspired a new poem.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 08:30 pm (UTC)Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 09:04 pm (UTC)Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 09:58 pm (UTC)As you said, what he did was the logical choice.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 11:35 pm (UTC)Yeah, I thought about that. Batman is smarter, he has ALL THE POCKETS.
>> and no phone would survive long in his back pocket anyway. <<
Point.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 05:51 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing this, and for adding your commentary.
Well...
Date: 2013-10-06 07:26 pm (UTC)That's because most people don't understand how to handle high-powered characters. Nobody is completely invulnerable. So you have to look for areas where a character is sensitive to threats. For Superman, I'd focus on how he is physically tough but emotionally responsive. If you want to put him at risk of harm, don't threaten him: threaten someone else. Put him in situations where his powers are applicable but he has to think about which to use and how, because he can't just smash through the plot willy-nilly.
There are no over-powered characters, just poorly matched challenges.
>> Thank you for sharing this, and for adding your commentary. <<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-07 01:03 am (UTC)Which is also a reason I tend to prefer characters who have discrete arcs, and endings. There is less need to do something that's never been done before.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-07 08:47 am (UTC)Agreed.
>>Which I don't lay too much blame on the writers for, someone that powerful is hard to write well,<<
I honestly have not noticed, in my own writing; my characters never have any difficulty finding trouble. Or making it. I am bemused by how many other writers seem to find this hard though.
>> and even more so when you have to come up with something every month that hasn't been done already in the 80 years the character has been around. <<
... after one has played with gods and heroes of yore, like King Arthur and Robin Hood, that ceases to be a problem also. Have at the old Aarne-Thompson folklore index. Mix in something from other cultures. Use current events. There are lots of ways to carry on with a longstanding character. But like handling high-powered characters, you do need to know what you're doing and where the references are.
>> Which is also a reason I tend to prefer characters who have discrete arcs, and endings. There is less need to do something that's never been done before. <<
I'm flexible.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-07 04:38 pm (UTC)Which is not to say that there aren't excellent writers in mainstream comics, but they don't often seem to end up on Superman.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-07 06:58 pm (UTC)Re: Well...
Date: 2013-10-07 07:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-08 05:04 am (UTC)Western civilization seems to be trying to make life LESS fair.
Alas!
Date: 2013-10-08 05:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-09 04:46 am (UTC)You save a hundred people from an earthquake, and another thousand die in the tsunami. Or you have to let the hundred die in an earthquake so you can save the thousand from the tsunami. You pick *which* car on the collapsing bridge you save, and never know if it was the car of the murderer-to-be. You sleep for eight hours and that costs how many lives?
I *can't* do those things, and sometimes I feel like, wow, it's not enough, because I can't... but how much worse would it be if I *could* and it still wasn't enough?
Working from that perspective, saving a jumper must be scary as all hell, especially if you're going to promise to let her go if she decides to.
The only thing that bothers me about it - and this is really kind of silly - is that it's too easy.
They don't draw comics about the awful, stupid, senseless tragedies, so of course he succeeds. And yet, this is the one thing that no one has control over, no one really has power over, and it's not easy, not one bit, and yet in the comic it can be, and... well, it's not a fault of the story, you can't ever really express how hard it is.
But I kind of wish you could. Both for those who try to rescue those who feel there are no good choices left... and for those who live when they feel there are no good choices left.
Yes...
Date: 2013-10-09 05:05 am (UTC)I've gone over that with many superheroes.
>> You save a hundred people from an earthquake, and another thousand die in the tsunami. Or you have to let the hundred die in an earthquake so you can save the thousand from the tsunami. You pick *which* car on the collapsing bridge you save, and never know if it was the car of the murderer-to-be. You sleep for eight hours and that costs how many lives? <<
That's always the case.
>> I *can't* do those things, and sometimes I feel like, wow, it's not enough, because I can't... but how much worse would it be if I *could* and it still wasn't enough? <<
This is a major issue for superheroes, but also for peacekeepers and first responders in general. And Superman gave the right answer: you can't do everything, so you do what you can. You save the person who is right in front of you now. Maybe that's going to be a murderer, but maybe it's the person who will discover cold fusion ten years down the road. You never know. So you allow that the universe is putting you where you're needed, and just do the job.
Otherwise, they burn out, and that's a serious hazard for both job categories. It's something young people coming into those fields have to face.
>> Working from that perspective, saving a jumper must be scary as all hell, especially if you're going to promise to let her go if she decides to. <<
Like I said, his feelings would've gone smash.
>> The only thing that bothers me about it - and this is really kind of silly - is that it's too easy. <<
For me, I think it's well done because of how thoughtfully it was handled. He talked it out instead of grabbing her. If anything is going to work, showing that you really care is it. Doesn't always, but it still has the best chance.
>> They don't draw comics about the awful, stupid, senseless tragedies, so of course he succeeds. And yet, this is the one thing that no one has control over, no one really has power over, and it's not easy, not one bit, and yet in the comic it can be, and... well, it's not a fault of the story, you can't ever really express how hard it is.
But I kind of wish you could. Both for those who try to rescue those who feel there are no good choices left... and for those who live when they feel there are no good choices left. <<
Well, I'm not doing Superman comics, but I am writing a superhero series over in Polychrome Heroics. Some of Damask (who is a plural person) are prone to responding to other types of challenge besides straight-up fights. "Through the Haze" has a drunk person on a roof. "Weaving Damask" has a fight that ends in an asthma attack, and "That Kind of Hero" shows a response to the jumper scene in the comic.
Want to prompt me on this? I could run with it. Damask is in exactly the right stage to hit that issue. Sooner or later they're going to lose somebody, because no matter how good you are, you can't save everyone. You're right, comics usually skip that part. I'd like to do better. I'd rather not repeat what I've just done with Dace or Farce, so it would need to be something different. Thoughts?
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-10-09 07:12 pm (UTC)I didn't *dislike* the comic in any way. Not a bit of it. That's why I said how I felt was a bit silly (nothing wrong with silly, mind you!). But this summarizes my feelings about people who are depressed and suicidal really well:
http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/41509206591/ive-been-getting-a-lot-of-these-lately-and-i
It describes something that would be really hard to express in comic book form, something I wish could be expressed more often. That it's entirely possible that all Superman has done is handed her a stick, and that's good and noble, but wow, what a nasty jungle to have to fight through, even if you *win*.
(I might respond more later - but this was the part that had to be said.)
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-10-10 08:46 am (UTC)It's a good example of "the first thing the hero tries, never works." She won't talk to him unless he earns it.
>> it can't just be "grab her and throw her onto a locked ward with a paper gown where people will treat her like a pain in the ass who they have to keep alive, and comfort and dignity can go hang". <<
Which is, of course, not a solution. People commit suicide because they find life unbearable. If you want them to stop being suicidal, you have to find a way to make their life actually livable again. That may mean solving external problems or helping them develop coping skills for internal ones. Here we've got a combination: grief (needs coping skills), loneliness (needs more friends and family), job loss (needs a new job), and feeling useless (needs to identify a life goal and do something meaningful). People panic or fall into despair when they don't have the resources to solve their own problems and nobody seems to be willing to help. If we had better support networks, there would be far less of this. Losing a job would be a temporary inconvenience, not a survival threat.
Confining someone in a miserable place and taking away what little is left of their agency does not make life more appealing, but probably less appealing. It works only so long as maximum force is maintained to prevent escape via death ... assuming that the person doesn't die of stress-related causes. The absolute most it can do is buy time, but then you've added more damage that has to be repaired before recovery is possible. Not a great strategy.
>> I didn't *dislike* the comic in any way. Not a bit of it. That's why I said how I felt was a bit silly (nothing wrong with silly, mind you!). <<
It's not silly. It's thoughtful.
>> But this summarizes my feelings about people who are depressed and suicidal really well:
http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/41509206591/ive-been-getting-a-lot-of-these-lately-and-i <<
Well said.
>> It describes something that would be really hard to express in comic book form, something I wish could be expressed more often. That it's entirely possible that all Superman has done is handed her a stick, and that's good and noble, but wow, what a nasty jungle to have to fight through, even if you *win*. <<
There are two aspects here:
1) Someone like Superman can hand her a stick. His job is to show care and compassion in dealing with emergency situations like this. That can be enough to pull someone back from the edge, just knowing that somebody else cares about you. And hey, Superman spent all day helping her through a really rough situation. That means a lot.
2) Someone can walk alongside. This is typically a job for family, friends, and counselors. It's a different kind of relationship, taking that journey together. It needs different skills than short-term rescue work. But it's not just for heroes or professionals. Anybody can decide to be there for a depressed friend, or make friends with a depressed person. You can save a life that way. It just isn't as flashy as talking someone off a building ledge.
Someone having to fight their way through a hostile jungle with a stick, alone, is awful. It does not have to be that way. There's always going to be internal work that nobody can do for them, but it does not have to be done in isolation and there are plenty better tools than a stick. The right techniques can give you a machete or even a chainsaw.
>> (I might respond more later - but this was the part that had to be said.) <<
Thanks for the insight.
Hrm, I think there are two stories to be told here.
1) You can't save everyone. Sometimes, no matter what you try, there will be people who slip out of your reach. Everybody who does hero work has to find a way of coping with that. I'd need a new redshirt for this, but I've got the hero in place already.
2) Sometimes saving people isn't as quick or simple as pushing them out of danger. It may take more time and attention than that. Then you have to decide if that's something you're willing and able to do. Here, I've already introduced a couple of different characters -- Dace and Farce -- with long-term problems.