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ysabetwordsmithThis story was written for the Asexy Valentines Fest, partly inspired by aceofannwn. It also fills the "game night" square on my card for the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trope_bingo fest. This fest features fundamental motifs that will be familiar to most readers. It encourages writers to analyze storylines and characters, then reinterpret them in new ways.
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, JARVIS
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Phil Coulson is SHIELD's best handler for a reason: he can deal with the broken people that nobody else can manage but desperately need anyway. So he comes up with an unusual teambuilding idea to shore up the Avengers.
Notes: Asexual character. Aromantic character. Asexual relationship. Flangst. Dysfunctional dynamics. Mention of past abuse. Incidental self-injury. Non-sexual ageplay. Games. Cuteness. Teambuilding. Personal growth. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Hurt/comfort. Trust issues. Making up for lost time. Odin's A+ parenting. Teamwork. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12.
"Love Is for Children" Part 13
It wasn't long after then that Director Fury called, wanting them to come for a meeting on a game night. Their schedule marked that time as unavailable, but that didn't stop him. Fury was still sulking over the fact that Agent Coulson had modified all the SHIELD records, at the request of Clint and Natasha Barton, to reflect their status as brother and sister. It made him snappish.
Uncle Phil answered the phone, because they were still setting things up for play -- and finishing dessert, a batch of turtle brownies -- and he hadn't gotten around to shutting down non-emergency communications yet. "You know this time is blocked out, and you know why," he said. "This is our night for teambuilding. I'm reminding you as a courtesy that the Avengers are only available tonight in case of a genuine crisis."
They all huddled together, Clint clutching the box of Mouse Trap that they had intended to teach Steve tonight. They were already in their jammies, but had their fingers near buttons and zippers as if expecting to have their downtime taken away from them.
Over Phillip Coulson's permanently dead body.
He covered the phone with one hand, blotting out Fury's rant, and said, "Sit down, we're not going anywhere." Tony, Clint, and Natka crowded onto the couch. Bruce clung to Steve and refused to budge, so Steve picked him up and carried him there.
Phil put the phone back to his ear. Fury was complaining about the time off duty. "Nobody can be on call 24/7, forever," Phil said. "Turbo is a button you push and release, not push and tape down, unless you want something to explode." He'd had enough trouble teaching Tony that without Fury undoing his hard work, and the rest of them weren't much better at respecting their limits without a firm reminder.
Blah blah blah superpowers, blah blah blah only team we've got, blah blah blah can't afford --
"I'm cleaning up the mess you made of my assets. They need their teambuilding time, if you want to have a team that actually functions as such in the field. This is working, Director, don't argue with success," Phil said.
Phil wasn't sure what Fury actually said next, because JARVIS spliced in an excerpt of Charlie Brown telephone talk: wawawaWAAwawa?! Even the seasoned spy had trouble not giggling at that.
"Sorry, sir, lost the signal for a moment. Could you repeat that?" Phil said.
Fury's voice went up another notch, audible through the Starkphone's impeccable sound system as he made more demands.
Phil glanced at his "kids" again. All of them but Steve were getting edgy; they didn't like it when people got angry and yelled. Bruce ducked under the coffee table, followed immediately by Natka, though Phil hoped she did so more for Bruce's comfort. Steve just crossed his arms and glowered. Phil made an effort to rein in his own temper.
"I'm not going to shortchange my people just for the sake of hand-patting a bunch of antsy Army staff," Phil said. "If the meeting is that important, tell them to reschedule during normal business hours on a non-invasion, non-supervillain day. I promise you that what we're doing here is more useful than their meeting."
Tony and Clint snickered at that. Bruce and Natka came out from under the coffee table to watch. Even Steve was smirking.
Fury started making threats. This was not a prudent move.
"For the last time, I'm their liaison, I'm their handler, I'm the one in charge of making sure the Avengers do their job," Phil said. He was not about to let Fury give them another case of burnout when they were just getting into something approaching a healthy work and home life. "You need them to keep the world safe, and I need to make sure they're properly prepared to do that. What you're asking is NOT their job and they are NOT coming in to do it. I'm shutting down communications now--"
"I will personally come over there and drag their lazy asses to this meeting!" the phone squawked.
Phil's temper finally snapped the leash. He activated the "intruder watch" portion of tower defenses. Fury would never get through that, and if JARVIS didn't just tase him into a stupor, he'd find himself explaining his attempt at breaking-and-entering to the NYPD.
"If you don't like our terms, Nick Fury, then you can accept our resignations right now and fuck the hell off!" Phil snarled. He closed the call, and was both surprised and gratified when JARVIS attached an emphatic slamdown sound effect to the disconnection.
"See, we're not going anywhere, just like I promised," Phil said. They had contingency plans in case SHIELD became untenable, but he doubted that would prove necessary. "Clint, lay out the board for Mouse Trap, please." Clint heaved a sigh of relief and obeyed. The others shook off their tension as well.
Bruce was staring at Phil, his eyes gone huge and round. "You said bad words."
"Yes, I did," Phil agreed. "That was very naughty of me, and I'll give up my last brownie for it." He pushed the plate over to Steve, who always had room to eat one more. "I hope you'll all learn from my bad example and not repeat any of that."
"Fuckoff!" Tony chirped inevitably.
Phil sighed and covered his face with his hand.
[To be concluded in Part 14 ...]
aceofannwn. It also fills the "game night" square on my card for the trope_bingo fest. This fest features fundamental motifs that will be familiar to most readers. It encourages writers to analyze storylines and characters, then reinterpret them in new ways. Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, JARVIS
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Phil Coulson is SHIELD's best handler for a reason: he can deal with the broken people that nobody else can manage but desperately need anyway. So he comes up with an unusual teambuilding idea to shore up the Avengers.
Notes: Asexual character. Aromantic character. Asexual relationship. Flangst. Dysfunctional dynamics. Mention of past abuse. Incidental self-injury. Non-sexual ageplay. Games. Cuteness. Teambuilding. Personal growth. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Hurt/comfort. Trust issues. Making up for lost time. Odin's A+ parenting. Teamwork. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12.
"Love Is for Children" Part 13
It wasn't long after then that Director Fury called, wanting them to come for a meeting on a game night. Their schedule marked that time as unavailable, but that didn't stop him. Fury was still sulking over the fact that Agent Coulson had modified all the SHIELD records, at the request of Clint and Natasha Barton, to reflect their status as brother and sister. It made him snappish.
Uncle Phil answered the phone, because they were still setting things up for play -- and finishing dessert, a batch of turtle brownies -- and he hadn't gotten around to shutting down non-emergency communications yet. "You know this time is blocked out, and you know why," he said. "This is our night for teambuilding. I'm reminding you as a courtesy that the Avengers are only available tonight in case of a genuine crisis."
They all huddled together, Clint clutching the box of Mouse Trap that they had intended to teach Steve tonight. They were already in their jammies, but had their fingers near buttons and zippers as if expecting to have their downtime taken away from them.
Over Phillip Coulson's permanently dead body.
He covered the phone with one hand, blotting out Fury's rant, and said, "Sit down, we're not going anywhere." Tony, Clint, and Natka crowded onto the couch. Bruce clung to Steve and refused to budge, so Steve picked him up and carried him there.
Phil put the phone back to his ear. Fury was complaining about the time off duty. "Nobody can be on call 24/7, forever," Phil said. "Turbo is a button you push and release, not push and tape down, unless you want something to explode." He'd had enough trouble teaching Tony that without Fury undoing his hard work, and the rest of them weren't much better at respecting their limits without a firm reminder.
Blah blah blah superpowers, blah blah blah only team we've got, blah blah blah can't afford --
"I'm cleaning up the mess you made of my assets. They need their teambuilding time, if you want to have a team that actually functions as such in the field. This is working, Director, don't argue with success," Phil said.
Phil wasn't sure what Fury actually said next, because JARVIS spliced in an excerpt of Charlie Brown telephone talk: wawawaWAAwawa?! Even the seasoned spy had trouble not giggling at that.
"Sorry, sir, lost the signal for a moment. Could you repeat that?" Phil said.
Fury's voice went up another notch, audible through the Starkphone's impeccable sound system as he made more demands.
Phil glanced at his "kids" again. All of them but Steve were getting edgy; they didn't like it when people got angry and yelled. Bruce ducked under the coffee table, followed immediately by Natka, though Phil hoped she did so more for Bruce's comfort. Steve just crossed his arms and glowered. Phil made an effort to rein in his own temper.
"I'm not going to shortchange my people just for the sake of hand-patting a bunch of antsy Army staff," Phil said. "If the meeting is that important, tell them to reschedule during normal business hours on a non-invasion, non-supervillain day. I promise you that what we're doing here is more useful than their meeting."
Tony and Clint snickered at that. Bruce and Natka came out from under the coffee table to watch. Even Steve was smirking.
Fury started making threats. This was not a prudent move.
"For the last time, I'm their liaison, I'm their handler, I'm the one in charge of making sure the Avengers do their job," Phil said. He was not about to let Fury give them another case of burnout when they were just getting into something approaching a healthy work and home life. "You need them to keep the world safe, and I need to make sure they're properly prepared to do that. What you're asking is NOT their job and they are NOT coming in to do it. I'm shutting down communications now--"
"I will personally come over there and drag their lazy asses to this meeting!" the phone squawked.
Phil's temper finally snapped the leash. He activated the "intruder watch" portion of tower defenses. Fury would never get through that, and if JARVIS didn't just tase him into a stupor, he'd find himself explaining his attempt at breaking-and-entering to the NYPD.
"If you don't like our terms, Nick Fury, then you can accept our resignations right now and fuck the hell off!" Phil snarled. He closed the call, and was both surprised and gratified when JARVIS attached an emphatic slamdown sound effect to the disconnection.
"See, we're not going anywhere, just like I promised," Phil said. They had contingency plans in case SHIELD became untenable, but he doubted that would prove necessary. "Clint, lay out the board for Mouse Trap, please." Clint heaved a sigh of relief and obeyed. The others shook off their tension as well.
Bruce was staring at Phil, his eyes gone huge and round. "You said bad words."
"Yes, I did," Phil agreed. "That was very naughty of me, and I'll give up my last brownie for it." He pushed the plate over to Steve, who always had room to eat one more. "I hope you'll all learn from my bad example and not repeat any of that."
"Fuckoff!" Tony chirped inevitably.
Phil sighed and covered his face with his hand.
[To be concluded in Part 14 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2013-02-26 09:19 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-02-27 02:50 am (UTC)LOL
Date: 2014-03-11 05:02 am (UTC)And then --" "Fuckoff!" Tony chirped inevitably. --" pushed me over the edge. This series is SO cute, and heart-warming. Still giggling here. Thanks. :D
Re: LOL
Date: 2014-03-11 06:24 am (UTC)Yay! I'm glad you find it so amusing. This series is definitely not library-safe reading; it often makes people laugh out loud.
>> This series is SO cute, and heart-warming. Still giggling here. Thanks. :D <<
That's always good to hear.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-05-02 02:43 pm (UTC)FYI, the header on this reads Chapter 12, not 13.
Okay...
Date: 2014-05-02 06:25 pm (UTC)Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.
>> FYI, the header on this reads Chapter 12, not 13. <<
Fixed, thanks.
Nicholas Manipulation Fury
Date: 2014-09-28 01:38 pm (UTC)Aww poor Avengers
Snickers
True also means you have nothing to use when you really need the extra boost either
Snickering again
Yeah I get that and it'd be worse cause some of their barriers are down or lower
Fix it Uncle Phil or I will or Fury I hate you glower?
Phil has the Jarvis seal of approval for his promise/threat makes you kinda wonder if Fury kept pushing would he soon after become a technophobe.
And now we're back to your usual programming.
Re: Nicholas Manipulation Fury
Date: 2014-09-29 04:53 am (UTC)Exactly. They're still learning about the appropriate use of turbo options.
>> Yeah I get that and it'd be worse cause some of their barriers are down or lower <<
Definitely worse due to lowered barriers.
>> Fix it Uncle Phil or I will or Fury I hate you glower? <<
Kind of a combination of both. "Mess with my team and you will regret it" glower.
>> Phil has the Jarvis seal of approval for his promise/threat <<
Yep.
>> makes you kinda wonder if Fury kept pushing would he soon after become a technophobe. <<
In fact, JARVIS can and does respond that way sometimes when people really piss him off. There are hints later in the storyline that Fury sometimes has technical difficulties, although he has no idea why yet.
(no subject)
Date: 2016-02-24 04:40 pm (UTC)/Embli
Thank you!
Date: 2016-02-24 07:33 pm (UTC)Yay!
>> But this time I noticed (for the first time, possibly because I was a bit too caught up in all the lovelyness earlier) that Bruce doesn't go to the coffetable right away. First he doesn't do anything, <<
Yep, it takes a little while for Bruce to shake himself out of "freeze" mode.
>> then he goes to Steve (best cousin ever!) and only THEN does he fly to the hiding place. I made me quite happy. ^^ <<
:D Bruce is learning, slowly, how to socialize. For an introvert that means in little nibbles.