Poem: "The Outside of a Horse"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This poem is from the November 2016 crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from redsixwing. It also fills the "horseback riding" square in my 10-4-16 card for the Games and Sports Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool including daisiesrockalot, ng_moonmoth, and technoshaman. It belongs to the Dr. Infanta thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.


"The Outside of a Horse"


Alicia wasn't entirely sure
what kept bringing both of them
back to the pony club.

She just knew that she and
Judd enjoyed the activities
and the companionship.

After Darelle had turned them on
to mountie training techniques,
they had made a game out of it,
because a calm pony was
a safer pony to ride.

Today's activity was water play.

Liam Birtwistle had set up
a big blue tarp for the ponies
to explore, and his sister Fionnuala
had brought bubble making supplies.

They started by letting all the ponies
sniff and paw at the tarp. Predictably,
Hightower wouldn't go anywhere near it
because it looked like water to him.

Cloud was curious. Snowflake grabbed
a corner and tried to kill the poor tarp.
Spot and Proudfoot were so laid back
that they barely showed any interest.

Judd, of course, knew what a tarp was
so he just sniffed it politely and then
waited for the lesson to begin.

The children led their ponies
over the tarp (or tried to) and
then the ones who felt ready
mounted up and rode across.

Judd strolled over it without protest,
his ears tilted lazily to the sides.

Then Liam turned on the sprinkler.

Most of the ponies shied at first
but soon grew used to it. Hightower
hung back. Cloud, who loved water,
pranced around so much that Siobhan
had trouble staying in the saddle.

Judd was so big that the spray
didn't even reach his back.

Over time, the water formed
shallow puddles, and then
deeper ones, eventually
filling the entire pool.

Cloud was the only one
who made it all the way through
with the pool filled, Judd having
gotten tired of wet feet.

Fionnuala stood to one side,
blowing a few small bubbles
that drifted over the field.

Some of the ponies moved away
from them, but once Snowflake
started chasing them, Judd
soon joined in the game.

He snapped at the bubbles
and snorted when they popped.
"Bleh," he said, flapping his lips.

Alicia laughed. "They're soap bubbles.
Soap doesn't taste very good," she said.
"If you want to chase them, then try
hitting them with your nose."

It took a few tries for Judd
to get the hang of that, but soon
he was catching them easily.

Then Fionnuala turned on
the bubble machine, which was
little more than a barrel full of water
and baby shampoo with a leafblower
to force bubbles through a towel.

Soon it churned out mountains of foam.

Laughing, the children romped
through the suds. Most of the ponies
just sniffed around the edges, but
Cloud plowed right through.

Judd whuffled at the foam,
decided that he didn't like
the taste any better than
the single bubbles, and
wandered away.

Alicia kept an eye on him,
but couldn't resist romping
through the suds herself.

When she turned around,
Fionnuala was building
a giant bubble wand from
a broomstick and string.

Then the young woman
demonstrated how to make
bubbles by opening and closing
the long loop of the string.

Judd took the dry end
of the broomstick in
his mouth and swung
his head back and forth.

It took him a while to learn
how to manipulate it effectively,
but then he made huge bubbles
just by trotting around with
the thing in his mouth.

Watching him made Alicia feel
relaxed and happy for a change.

"I don't know why it's so much fun
coming here, but it is," she said.

Fionnuala turned and smiled at her.
"Maybe it's just that the outside of a horse
is good for the inside of a human," she said.

Alicia watched Judd frisking around
the grassy field with the broomstick
in tow, trailing a long series of
bubbles the size of beachballs.

Even though he had the outside of a horse,
he had the inside of a person. He needed
opportunities to be both, preferably together.

"Yes," she said to Fionnuala, "that could be why."

* * *

Notes:

Liam Birtwistle -- He has fair skin, blue eyes, and short blonde hair. He is the older brother of Fionnuala. He runs a pony club.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Horseman, Expert (+4) Enthusiasm, Good (+2) Leader, Good (+2) Spatial Intelligence, Good (+2) Strength
Poor (-2) Not a City Boy

Fionnuala Birtwistle -- She has fair skin, blue eyes, and long wavy white-blonde hair. She is the younger sister of Liam. She breeds horses and ponies, also helping her brother run a pony club. Fionnuala is currently training a palomino paint filly named Butterscotch. She is so pretty that she keeps attracting blokes who want elbow candy, and can't handle her outdoorsy lifestyle -- whereas the kind of practical blokes she'd like all seem to think she's out of their league.
Qualities: Expert (+2) Naturalistic Intelligence, Good (+2) Beautiful, Good (+2) Graceful, Good (+2) Horsewoman, Good (+2) Kind
Poor (-2) Attracts the Wrong Kind of Bloke

Hightower -- He is a brown Connemara gelding who stands right at 14 hands. His rider is Hermione. He is fast for a pony due to his height, near the maximum for pony competition. Hightower detests getting his feet wet, hates the rain, and is impossible to wash with a hose.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Fast, Good (+2) Agile, Good (+2) Pony
Poor (-2) Hates Water

Cloud -- She is a Welsh pony, white flecked with gray. Her rider is Siobhan. Cloud is fond of rolling, with or without a rider. She particularly enjoys rolling in mud or dust. She loves water, though, and is undeterred by river crossings.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Precision, Good (+2) Pony
Poor (-2) Loves to Roll

Snowflake -- He is a gelding, a British spotted pony. His rider is Arran.
Qualities: Good (+2) Clever, Good (+2) Pony
Poor (-2) Nose for Trouble

Spot -- She is a Shetland pony. Her rider is Pippa.
Qualities: Good (+2) Patient, Good (+2) Pony
Poor (-2) Slow as Mud

Proudfoot -- He is a Fell pony gelding. Like most draft ponies, he has a phlegmatic temper. So he is shared among the youngest and least experienced students. His standard gait is a smooth amble. If prodded vigorously, he will trot briefly and then drop back to a walk.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Unflappable, Good (+2) Pony
Poor (-2) Lazy as a Sloth

* * *

Mountie training teaches horses to stay calm under stressful conditions. Watch a video or read instructions on how to teach your horse this.

Training for water tolerance works best if you go through stages. Make your own water obstacle with boards and a tarp. First introduce your horse to the tarp. Then fill the tarp with water. It is easier to get horses into water on a hot day when the water feels good and they are thirsty. Sprinklers make great practice because they make noise, move, and spray water all at once. Some horses love playing with sprinklers.

See the most bombproof horse on the planet.

Horses may practice with blowing bubbles or suds.

Foam parties can be fun, but there are risks. For safest results: use a hypoallergenic foam solution or baby shampoo instead of harsh chemicals, wear sensible clothes or bathing suits instead of fancy outfits, play on grass instead of a smooth surface, and be sober instead of drunk/stoned. You can buy or make a foam machine.

Giant bubble makers are fabulous and come in various styles. Again, you can buy or make one. Judd's model looks like this. Note that giant bubbles require a different solution; it must be strong enough to hold all that air inside. There are many recipes to make at home, or you can shop for various brands. In my family this typically turns into a fun physics lesson too, because we are nerds.

Comments

[sweet_sparrow]

Awwww. I like the friendship between Alicia and Judd here and the way they know how to have fun together whilst separate and doing their own thing. It's such a sweet, cuddly poem. I'm not surprised Alicia is happy and relaxed by the activities. So relaxed in fact, that her Guardians aren't even mentioned in this piece. I think, with the exception of times when she doesn't have any Guardians, her poems always mention at least one of them as present? Unless we count Judd, but he's there for the same thing Alicia is.

Why are tarps so scary to horses and ponies, though? *clueless*

[alatefeline]

I don't like walking on tarps myself. Imagine if someone replaced the floor covering in your bedroom with sheets of bubble wrap while you were asleep, and you stepped on it in the middle of the night ... that's what stepping on a wrinkly crunchy tarp feels like in my body, startling and slippery and loud. Dunno if horses agree or disagree with that.

[sweet_sparrow]

Thank you. <3 They might very well agree. I do know they spook easily.

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Once while walking outside, I inadvertently stepped on a caterpillar. It popped underfoot, loud as a firecracker.

I teleported about three feet straight up.

Re: Yes...

[alatefeline]

*shudders appreciatively* Eeeeeurgh.

Content Note: Insect Stings...

...

...

...


I accidentally stepped on a *woolly* caterpillar *barefoot* at the age of four or so. One of the nasty ones (though not the nastiest; there are South American ones that kill people).

That must've been an interesting phone call for my Mom to make to my uncle the doctor, considering I was of course hysterical from the pain of the stings. On the other hand, she never again had to warn me about not touching colorful toxic insects....

Took until I was twelve or so for the numb spot along the inside arch of my foot to entirely heal as I grew.

Re: Yes...

[johnpalmer]

Heh. Not as awful, but ickier: I pulled that bit of dirt off my sneaker... it was a slug. How can *anything* be so icky/slimy? I had after-shudders for *hours*.

(of course, re: the teleportation, I'm flashing back on an old Peanuts cartoon, "I bet if someone said 'kindergarten', she (Sally) would jump 40 feet in the air!" with the punchline of "only ten feet. I knew you were exaggerating."

Re: Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I agree, slugs are icky. I think it is a combination of mucilage designed to lubricate their passage over objects, and the soft squashy body. They feel like entrails.

[alatefeline]

I think Ysabetwordsmith gave a great answer. *thoughtful* I wonder what it would be like to have horse senses.

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

They experience the world very differently. Less color, though not none; much wider field of vision and better alertness to motion. Better hearing and smell.

The Body Language of Horses says a lot about their senses, if I remember right. But you can find some online too.

Re: Well...

[alatefeline]

I know, maybe, enough to describe differences, but not enough to imagine myself inside them, and so I wonder about the total experience.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Awwww. I like the friendship between Alicia and Judd here and the way they know how to have fun together whilst separate and doing their own thing. It's such a sweet, cuddly poem. I'm not surprised Alicia is happy and relaxed by the activities. <<

Yay! I'm glad that works for you.

>> So relaxed in fact, that her Guardians aren't even mentioned in this piece. I think, with the exception of times when she doesn't have any Guardians, her poems always mention at least one of them as present? Unless we count Judd, but he's there for the same thing Alicia is.<<

Wow! I hadn't even realized that. Alicia and Judd would have needed at least Lorry for transportation, but he's capable of fading into the background. They may have gotten comfortable enough with the pony club that the Guardians don't feel a need to hover in twos or threes.

>> Why are tarps so scary to horses and ponies, though? *clueless* <<

* Horses are prey animals. Their survival strategy is to run away from danger.

* This makes most horses skittish in general. Hotbloods like Arabians are even more volatile; coldbloods like Friesians are more phlegmatic.

* Because a horse relies on his feet for survival, he is extremely careful where he puts them. Unstable footing is therefore undesirable. A tarp moves and crinkles underfoot, making it scary.

* Water is also scary. Some horses just don't like the feel of it, although others love it; but for all horses, it obscures the surface underneath it. A tarp looks like water to a horse.

* A horse's eyes are on the sides of his head, like most prey animals. This allows him to see almost everything around him, except for a narrow slot right in front or right behind. However, it costs him depth perception because he has less binocular vision. This means horses can easily detect objects and motion, but identifying or locating them precisely is harder.

* A horse's ears are like little radio antennae. They can swivel in almost any direction, independently, and they can detect very small sounds. A rustling tarp sounds very much like a cougar stepping on dry leaves.

* A horse's instincts tell him that danger typically approaches from the sides or rear, and thus, motion from those directions is something he should run away from. This is used to steer horses in training -- you twirl a rope behind him and he moves away from it. But any sudden motion will also make him move, gently or violently, such as a flapping tarp or a swaying branch.

Now, Judd is a person. He has a logic-brain, much as a human does. But he doesn't have an ape-brain the next step back; instead he has a horse-brain. His lizard-brain is likely very similar to ours. His instincts, however, are equine rather than primate. This gives him a very different pattern of uneasiness than humans typically have. For instance, humans have hardwired reflexes about falling and most are quite averse to it; hence the "trust fall" exercise that many people dislike. Horses will rear, roll, and a dedicated bucker will fling himself over backwards to oust an unacceptable rider; but they tend to hate flappy things.

A sentient person can choose to ignore their instincts, because instincts are broad-based while logic is more specific. Unlike the ordinary horses, Judd knows what a tarp is and that it is not a threat. But that doesn't change the way he feels about it. He still has to think about whether he's got a spoon to spend on telling his horse-brain to shut up about the crinkly thing. Over time, this will probably get easier for him, just as humans learn how to manage their instincts during childhood. In this regard, the pony club and the mountie training are extremely useful, although Judd and Alicia may not have framed it in those terms.

Re: Thoughts

[sweet_sparrow]

Wow! I hadn't even realized that. Alicia and Judd would have needed at least Lorry for transportation, but he's capable of fading into the background. They may have gotten comfortable enough with the pony club that the Guardians don't feel a need to hover in twos or threes.

I might be misremembering cameos in specific poems, but it's definitely a general trend in that you normally at least mention that her Guardians exist even if it's just a very brief note like "Lorry transported them to X". Here? Not a whisper, so I'd assume that she's comfortable and the pony club deemed safe enough that they can melt this far into the background. I assume they're still present in the vicinity, but that's it.

* Horses are prey animals. Their survival strategy is to run away from danger.

*nods* I knew they were easy to spook, but I wasn't sure how that translated to being afraid of tarp. This helps a lot. Thank you! <3 Asking someone specifically after posting that reply netted me "Because it's unpredictable and scary", which is good to know, but doesn't explain why, exactly, they're scared of it. Your explanation is a lot clearer. <3

Also...

[ysabetwordsmith]

If you want to understand how horses think, get the book The Body Language of Horses. It was recommended to me by Doranna Durgin, a writer-friend who works with horses. And if you're enjoying Judd, I highly recommend her Dun Lady's Jess.

Re: Also...

[sweet_sparrow]

Thank you. ^_^ I've added it to my wishlist. I'm sure it'll come in useful! ^_^

[alatefeline]

HORSIES!!!!! BUBBLES!!! EEEEEEE!

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

This is basically how Alicia and Judd feel too, which is why they love the pony club. :D

[technoshaman]

HORSEY! Yaaaay. Glad to see Alicia and Judd just having *fun* for twice. :D

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you're enjoying the fluff.

[kellan_the_tabby]

That horse video BLEW ME AWAY.

I ran into the concept of a bombproof horse & immediately decided to try for a bombproof cat -- my boy already does the leash & harness thing, & very little phases him. A couple years ago he was about thirty feet away when a friend shot a cannon -- Loiosh _did_ jump, but then stomped over to holler at his Unca Derek for making an Unnecessarily Loud Noise.

...I think I did okay.

(Now I'm contemplaying introducing Loiosh to Judd. It'd be ... entertaining.)

[alatefeline]

Yay! Judging by photos, Loiosh the cat does seem to cope with unfamiliar environments much, much better than an average housecat, probably because of all the time you've spent helping that happen.

[kellan_the_tabby]

SO MUCH TIME. SO, SO MUCH TIME.

That said, I couldn't have done it if he hadn't _already_ been inclined to look at new stuff & go 'whatevs'.

[alatefeline]

Smart kitty!

[society_of_antisocialites]

This was really fun to read :)

- Stuart

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm happy to hear that.

[redsixwing]

I adore this poem.

That bombproof mare with the tarps is completely amazing. <3

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>I adore this poem. <<

Thank you!

>>That bombproof mare with the tarps is completely amazing. <3 <<

Agreed, I am still in awe of that.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

There's a line, I think I saw attributed to Groucho Marx, about how "outside a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read".

I was wondering if this played into the title, or if it was just an interesting coincidence.

*laugh*

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

I have heard that, but wasn't thinking of it as part of this poem.

[readera]

💖💖💗💗

:-)

[book_worm5]

Mmm, I like this whole thread of pony club poems. Very fuzzy, and good for all involved.

This time Snowflake's picture is fine and Proudfoot's has the glitch, but Spot will need replacement same as the last one since the problem's at the source there.

Re: :-)

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Mmm, I like this whole thread of pony club poems. Very fuzzy, and good for all involved.<<

Yay! Feel free to request more, they're fun to do.

>>This time Snowflake's picture is fine and Proudfoot's has the glitch, but Spot will need replacement same as the last one since the problem's at the source there.<<

Fixed.

[mylittleangel]

Yay, I like seeing the Pony Club. Alicia and Judd deserve to have their downtime and this one is so fun.

Poor Hightower. But Snowflake is yet again adorable in trying to kill the new thing. It probably helps that tarp looks like water, and I think horses automatically assume a new thing is food if it doesn't look like a work thing.

Continuing onto the next poem :)

~Angel

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Yay, I like seeing the Pony Club. Alicia and Judd deserve to have their downtime and this one is so fun.<<

:D

>> Poor Hightower. But Snowflake is yet again adorable in trying to kill the new thing. It probably helps that tarp looks like water, and I think horses automatically assume a new thing is food if it doesn't look like a work thing.<<

Most animals have only 4 categories: eat it, fight it, run from it, or fuck it. Only a few add work with it.