Cottoncandy Bingo Card 6-1-16

[ysabetwordsmith]

Once upon a time, there was a lovely community called cottoncandy_bingo. It hasn't been active since 2014. So I launched a fest over on allbingo using the same set of prompts from the last round. These prompts angle toward upbeat content, although creators can do whatever they want with them. This fest encourages people to create and share material focused on what is variously called fluff, schmoop, gentle fiction, light reading, comfort reading, positive thinking, chicken soup for the soul, or anything else that offers a fun alternative to usual run of sex, violence, and angst of modern media. It's open to all fandoms plus original content, and all kinds of material. (See all my 2016 bingo cards.)

If you'd like to sponsor a particular square, especially if you have an idea for what character, series, or situation it would fit -- talk to me and we'll work something out. I've had a few requests for this and the results have been awesome so far. This is a good opportunity for those of you with favorites that don't always mesh well with the themes of my monthly projects. I may still post some of the fills for free, because I'm using this to attract new readers; but if it brings in money, that means I can do more of it. That's part of why I'm crossing some of the bingo prompts with other projects, such as the Poetry Fishbowl.


Underlined prompts have been filled.

COTTONCANDY BINGO CARD

Social gathering	It's okay	Playing with hair	Teaching / Learning	Safe
The little things	Finding home / family	Victory / Success	Permission	Being helped
Wordless Communication	Embracing imperfection	WILD CARD	Healing	Opportunity
Wearing partner's clothes	Apology / Forgiveness	Peace	Change	Naked / Vulnerable
Where we don't have to hide	Scars	Worth it	Making someone smile	Yes

Comments

[elaiel]

I have to admit that I signed up for Cottoncandy bingo then failed to actually write anything (within a context of failing to write anything at all for anything). I still feel kind of guilty.

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Stuff happens. I feel disappointed too, when I don't write anything for a card or only a few disconnected squares.

That's why I made allbingo so explicitly a high-inspiration, low-pressure community. Because every step is an accomplishment. Sometimes you just don't feel inspired or life drops a truck on you. Or maybe the idea isn't ready to come out yet, but is simmering the in the back of your brain to emerge later. There will always be another fest and maybe you will do better then. Anything you make is more than you had before you started!

So you missed an earlier opportunity. You have a new one. You can play your old card or make a fresh one. No pressure, just inspiration.

Re: Well...

[elaiel]

I'm mainly wrestling with ADHD. Lots of ideas, very little capacity to actually write them down. And life has been complex the last couple of years, husband and I were both made redundant, his health has deteriorated massively and a series of other things which have needed addressing including supporting friends in need which have taken priority. So, my creative energy has evaporated. Also, without a supportive community and regular feedback I find writing hard, one of the ADHD "things" is a need for structure, positive feedback, encouragement, reward (wahey neuroatypicality!) so I REALLY miss stargateland!

Re: Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I'm mainly wrestling with ADHD. Lots of ideas, very little capacity to actually write them down. <<

Consider choosing small projects. Write haiku or make icons or something like that. allbingo actually has an achievement for Diamonds & Dynamite, all small fills. This makes it much easier to finish things, which makes most people feel good.

>>And life has been complex the last couple of years, husband and I were both made redundant, his health has deteriorated massively and a series of other things which have needed addressing including supporting friends in need which have taken priority. So, my creative energy has evaporated.<<

That sucks.

>> Also, without a supportive community and regular feedback I find writing hard, one of the ADHD "things" is a need for structure, positive feedback, encouragement, reward (wahey neuroatypicality!) so I REALLY miss stargateland! <<

Structure and feedback are things you can create. For example, I made the Poetry Fishbowl to replace Sol Magazine, where I had discovered that I liked prompts. I made allbingo to fill some needs that the other bingo communities weren't quite reaching. For each of those, I established ground rules and schedules. Within that framework, people create a varied range of interactions. Structure and flexibility.

As for rewards, I usually don't offer prizes for bingos, but many other hosts will make a banner or something like that for anyone who bingos. Watch for those. Or you could set up a personal reward system.

Re: Well...

[elaiel]

All good ideas. I'm building my support systems up slowly and writing (as a less essential part of my life) has sadly come up last. Habitica / HabitRPG is an absolute deity-of-choice-send.

You're totally right about the small projects. At the moment it seems that challenges/ficathons where I'm making something for someone are the best as there are consequences (i.e. making someone sad) to not completing it. Consequences are also important to ADHD people.

Re: Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> All good ideas.<<

Yay!

>> I'm building my support systems up slowly and writing (as a less essential part of my life) has sadly come up last. Habitica / HabitRPG is an absolute deity-of-choice-send. <<

Great.

You might also like Goal-Fish. It is a counterpoint to highly structured choreware, intended for use when you know you've got a bit of time/energy but can't decide what to do with it. And it's adjustible so you can tell it your resources and it will pick for you instead of you having to do that equation in your head and failing.

>> You're totally right about the small projects. At the moment it seems that challenges/ficathons where I'm making something for someone are the best as there are consequences (i.e. making someone sad) to not completing it. Consequences are also important to ADHD people.<<

In order to succeed, you need to understand yourself and what works for you. Trying to make your brain into something it's not just never works. If consequences work for you, then go with that.

*chuckle* I wrote a poem, not long ago, about a character who finds corporal punishment an effective memory aid. I've known people like that. It's got its challenges, but if it works then go with it.

question

[(Anonymous)]

do we prompt here?

if so, awesome :)

another question:

do you have anything touching on CONSTRUCTIVE help for a recent sexual assault survivor? or active intervention during a sexual assault/attempted sexual assault?

if not this is my prompt...you could maybe fit it in the square for "healing" or "being helped" or "naked/vulnerable"... there are quite a few squares you could put it with

do you know of any constructive resources on this topic that I can pull up? Everything I'm finding doesn't fit what I find myself in need of at this time as it deals with either immediate aftermath and reporting, or is a hotline which is not what I need either.

Re: question

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> do we prompt here?

if so, awesome :) <<

Mainly I put my bingo cards online to show people what's available to suggest in a Poetry Fishbowl or Creative Jam session. However, I've had a few folks claim squares to sponsor, and money activates the prompt immediately; I'll make time to write it.

>> do you have anything touching on CONSTRUCTIVE help for a recent sexual assault survivor? <<

Loads. It's a favorite topic.

Path of the Paladins is a whole series about recovering from rape, in which one of the main characters is a survivor, and so is their goddess. Many poems deal directly with recovery issues.

Polychrome Heroics has many examples including some major threads. If you look at the top of that series page you'll find the Damask stuff, which doesn't have its own page yet. Partway through there is where Farce gets raped. It happens at a New Year party, so there's actually one interaction between Farce and Damask where Farce is completely off the handle and Damask has no idea why yet, in "The Impractical Cat." The revelation comes in "Rainy Day People" which begins that big story arc about Farce. Despite them being enemies, Damask makes a sincere effort to take care of Farce.

Within Polychrome Heroics, Danso and Family includes Hadyn who is a survivor of child sexual abuse. Several of her poems deal directly with that challenge.

Within Polychrome Heroics, Shiv is a survivor of child sexual abuse, later sexual assault, and lots of other horrible things. He is really a mess, but the arc focuses on what happens when he finally winds up with an actual support network and how they start trying to repair the damage. This one isn't as recent, it's been ongoing, but what got him into the solitary wing was someone trying to assault him and Shiv lashed out. He's pretty much given up on civilized communication -- because it hasn't worked for him -- and is down to "You touch my butt and I will cut you."

You might also like Officer Pink in Polychrome Heroics, which is not primarily sexual yet but has some groundwork laid for some of those things happening later. Thus far, there is a ton of stuff about Turq as a survivor of mad science torture and a great deal of emphasis on people helping him overcome that damage; much of the aftercare would overlap what helps rape survivors. Written, but not sponsored yet, is "To Acknowledge Our Interdependence" which is about what happens after someone gropes Ansel's hair. That one is basically about how to reclaim your body after someone puts their hands in unwelcome places.

"Echoes of Another" in Frankenstein's Family covers the aftermath of sexual and physical assault. It also begins a long thread about what happens to Csilla and Artúr.

>> or active intervention during a sexual assault/attempted sexual assault? <<

I'm pretty sure I've written this too, but not as often. More would therefore be good.

Within Polychrome Heroics, Antimatter and Stalwart Stan has touched on sexualized conflicts several times. "Dare Not Speak" has an interruption of sexually-driven roughhousing that probably qualifies as sexual assault under some codes, but the focus is more on the aftercare. "With Your Brain and Your Resourcefulness" involves some molestation and characters fighting back in creative ways.

"Pluck" in Fledgling Grace is about interrupting gay-bashing, but the sexual motivation is pretty clear.

>>if not this is my prompt...you could maybe fit it in the square for "healing" or "being helped" or "naked/vulnerable"... there are quite a few squares you could put it with<<

I do have a couple of examples in mind for the Officer Pink series: one with a male citizen coming to the police station for help after a rape, and another where one of the other officers was deliberately targeted, overwhelmed with superpowered pheromones, and raped. We could do either of those for competent aftercare, and there is a Poetry Fisbowl coming up on Tuesday, June 7.

>>do you know of any constructive resources on this topic that I can pull up?<<

Helpguide doesn't have a page on rape but does have many other useful references:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/post-traumatic-stress-disorder.htm

Some references for sexual assault/rape survivors:
https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/self-care-for-survivors
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/rape/rape-recovery-how-do-i-get-over-being-raped/

Here are some handbooks online. You can also look in bookstores for books on this topic; there are plenty.
http://www.xula.edu/counseling/documents/AfterSexualAssault.pdf
http://www.bava.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/SARSAS-Self-Help-Guide.pdf

If you are experiencing reactions which make your everyday life difficult, then you may want to make a WRAP workbook. You can pick and choose which pages to fill out that seem useful to you. It's very handy for organizing self-care, triggers, solutions, and a support network if you have one. Put it in a 3-ring binder and you can also add any other worksheets or resources that you find helpful.
http://www.workingtogetherforrecovery.co.uk/Documents/Wellness%20Recovery%20Action%20Plan.pdf

>> Everything I'm finding doesn't fit what I find myself in need of at this time as it deals with either immediate aftermath and reporting, or is a hotline which is not what I need either. <<

I am sorry to hear that you need this at all. :( Hopefully these resources will help.

Understand that recovery happens in stages. There are not a lot of resources that lay out that whole progression so you can scroll along it to see where you are, but there are a few.

http://www.hopesurvivors.org.uk/pg4-rape_effects.html

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

thank you

no, really thank you. I was getting so frustrated and overwhelmed trying to sort through everything and not finding anything that fit the bill for what's required for myself and for another survivor who came to me with questions, I was honored that they felt safe enough to let me hear their story, but lost as to appropriate resources for the circumstances.

this is just...I don't even know what to say...thanks. Just, thank you!

Re: question

[ysabetwordsmith]

> thank you

You're welcome! It was a great question. I developed my initial reply into a new post so more people could see it. A lot of other readers have expressed appreciation for this post, so you helped a lot of people by asking about this stuff.

>> no, really thank you. I was getting so frustrated and overwhelmed trying to sort through everything and not finding anything that fit the bill <<

Dealing with any kind of trauma can be overwhelming. Many resources are not well organized. I research this stuff a lot, so I've found some places that have better materials and sorting. Helpguide, RAINN, and OutoftheFOG are among my go-to sites. GoodTherapy and SupportingSafeTherapy are favorites for psych stuff.

>> for what's required for myself and for another survivor who came to me with questions, I was honored that they felt safe enough to let me hear their story, but lost as to appropriate resources for the circumstances. <<

It's hard enough helping yourself, and often harder helping someone else. I'm a gender scholar so I've got the advantage of having taken some relevant classes. That's part of what I draw on when I'm writing about these topics. It's very thoughtful of you to help someone else like this.

>> this is just...I don't even know what to say...thanks. Just, thank you! <<

It's part of what I'm here for.

[stardreamer]

"Playing with hair" just screams Stan and Lawrence to me -- it's already a trope for them.

"Scars" -- you mentioned in an e-mail that Stan loves the scar he got from Shiv, as a reminder that it was the day Lawrence came back to him. A conversation between them about that could be interesting.

"Finding home/family" sounds like a natural for Farce, settling in with Damask and the other housemates and maybe letting go of the parents who failed her.

sponsor

[(Anonymous)]

I can't even recall what my login credentials are, but this is Mishie - I'd love to sponsor "the little things" box - what is the price?

I'm more on Facebook than here these days

Re: sponsor

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>> I can't even recall what my login credentials are, but this is Mishie - I'd love to sponsor "the little things" box <<

Woohoo!

>> what is the price? <<

Depends on what you want. Typical prices for poetry:

0-10 lines: $5
11-25 lines: $10
26-40 lines: $15
41-60 lines: $20
Poems over 60 lines: $.50/line

Poetry or prose is usually $.03/word.

You give me a price/size range and an idea where you'd like that prompt to go. For poetry you can specify a form if you wish -- some of those have a specific line count.

>>I'm more on Facebook than here these days<<

I have FB but rarely visit my page anymore.

Re: sponsor

[je-reviens.livejournal.com]

I came here bc something you posted here cross posted thaere and AS USUAL I GOT SUCKED IN TO POETRY.

Ok well, $15, it seems, is not a paltry amount but nice and substantial, soooo

HAVE AT AT.

Re: sponsor

[je-reviens.livejournal.com]

Where would I like it to go... hm.

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed and crabby I go read the archives of this blog

http://summerharms.blogspot.com/2008/10/

because it's all about the little things.

And sometimes... I go to my own blog, and I post about.. the little things.

http://mishieloves.typepad.com/blog/2016/01/the-book-stamp.html

But what I like is something evocative. Homey. Detailed. This is what it's like. I like your yard posts. I like Little House on the Prairie bc those books are like that.

Re: sponsor

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

Your poem is now up at:
http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/10655783.html

I took the details from several of your sources.

sponsor

[je-reviens.livejournal.com]

Well dang it I tried leaving a comment and it didn't show up - I can't recall how to log in here.

Anyway, this is Mishie and I wanted to sponsor the "Little things" square. Not sure of the price so I just sent you $15 via PP, as that's what I have. We shall see what that gets...