Poem: "Never Carry Them Forward"
Apr. 22nd, 2015 05:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis is spillover from the April 7, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from dialecticdreamer and librarygeek. It has been sponsored by EdorFaus. This poem belongs to the Dr. Infanta thread of the Polychrome Heroics series, and is a direct sequel to "More Anxious to Agree" so you'll need to read that one first in order for this one to make any sense.
Warning: This poem contains angst and emotional fallout from the recent activity as Alicia frets over what happened. She's really upset, and it's not something that can be fixed in fast or straightforward ways. If that's touchy territory for you, think before you click.
"Never Carry Them Forward"
Alicia jogged through the alleys
of the warehouse district, gun
slung over her back, noting that
the men originally stationed
to contain potential firefights
had already withdrawn
according to orders.
The last three of her people
waiting onsite were all Guardians,
who wouldn't leave until Alicia did.
She rounded the corner to find
Cheval, Lorry, and Nanette
tucked out of sight in a niche
where two buildings joined.
"So how did the mad plan go?"
Cheval asked her.
"I didn't even get to test the TIG,
and I wanted to see what it could do
in the field, but I couldn't get a clear shot,"
said Alicia. "Then Hefty flagged me down.
"He and Fiddlesticks called their cop friends
to deal with the gunrunners and the guns."
"That sounds like it worked out,"
Cheval said with a nod. "You don't
look very happy, though."
Alicia wrapped her small arms
around him and pressed her cheek
against the wide wall of his belly.
"We made it look good. Nobody
will know it wasn't real. I got away.
But I think Fiddlesticks is really hurt,
and I didn't mean it," she said.
"What happened?" Cheval said,
his big hand coming up to pet her hair.
"We were playing tag, you know,
running and dodging and shoving
each other," Alicia said. The gun on
her shoulder shifted, and she shrugged it
back into place. "I tried to trip him with
my powers, and -- and it worked,
but he fell awful hard."
"You didn't stop to check
on him," Nanette guessed.
"I couldn't," Alicia said with a sigh.
"We were playing for the cameras
on the walls, and that would have
given it away -- or else we would
have to erase the footage, and
then what's the point?"
"What about the helmet camera
on the battlesuit that you mentioned
to Nanette when you made contact
earlier?" asked Cheval.
"I don't think they'll release that,"
Alicia said. "Hefty won't, anyway,
and I'm curious what the Omaha
police department will do."
"It would probably hurt them
more than us if they did,"
Cheval said with a nod.
"We can always do some
damage control later,
if it comes to that."
"They're solid," Alicia said.
"I think they can do better
at dealing with Crosshairs and
his men and all the guns."
"I agree," Lorry said. "They have
more training for that sort of thing, and
the law behind them. It's more efficient."
"Wait, how did you get those bruises?"
Nanette interrupted, her voice sharp.
Alicia rubbed one hand over
the yellowing mark at her shoulder,
as wide and long as two fingers together.
"He tagged me with one of his sticks --
he was trying to spin me around," she said.
"We were just roughhousing."
"Men," grumbled the nanny.
"I'm not the one who really got hurt,"
Alicia said. She sniffled and wiped her nose
against her shirt. "I didn't mean to, it just
happened, and now I'm worried.
Maybe I should go back and
check on him after all."
She was trying not to cry.
Really she was.
"This is a warm zone, Miss, and
it's getting warmer," said Lorry.
"We need to get out of here."
"But he was nice to me and fun
to play with and I like him,"
Alicia whispered. "I promised
that I wouldn't hurt him for real and
then I messed up. It's all my fault."
Whatever the problem was, she
could heal it with a touch -- if
she could reach Fiddlesticks
without anyone interfering.
"I'm sure the police department will
take good care of your friend,"
Cheval said. "Let's leave now,
and keep an eye on the situation
from a safe distance. If he doesn't
recover properly, then we'll think
about how to handle that later."
"I feel awful now," Alicia said.
"What do we do when we make
a mistake that hurts someone?"
Nanette prompted.
"Say sorry," Alicia recited. "But
they'll be keeping close watch --
Oh! Could I send him a message?"
"I'm sure something could be
arranged," Nanette said.
"It's natural to regret mistakes,
but we should learn from them,
and never carry them forward
to trip us in the future," said Cheval.
"Warm zone, Miss," Lorry reminded.
"We can go," she agreed.
Cheval picked her up, Nanette
stepped in close, and Lorry
took them all home.
* * *
Notes:
"We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us."
-- Lucy Maud Montgomery
TIG is short for Tickle Inducement Gun. It's a prototype super-gizmo intended to overload the nervous system and incapacitate people without killing them.
Bruises are typical of the minor injuries considered reasonable in sparring or roughhousing. Mangled knees requiring hospital care exceed that range, hence Alicia feeling guilty. Bruises go through color changes as they age and the pooled blood breaks down. Yellow doesn't usually appear until after 24-48 hours, so here it shows how fast Alicia is healing, already out of the blue-and-purple phase into the green-and-yellow phase.
Emergency response in tactical situations has a set of descriptions for the danger levels: hot (actively hazardous), warm (potentially hazardous), and cold (reasonably safe). Lorry being a bodyguard as well as a teleporter, it's his job to manage location in relation to risk assessment.
Apologies are meant to relieve guilt and repair damaged relationships. In cases like this, a verbal apology may not be enough, and circumstances may make apologizing in person difficult or impossible. Fiddlesticks actually doesn't blame Alicia for what happened, because he's more mature and knows what went wrong; but that doesn't make her feel any better. There are tips on how to apologize.
dialecticdreamer and librarygeek. It has been sponsored by EdorFaus. This poem belongs to the Dr. Infanta thread of the Polychrome Heroics series, and is a direct sequel to "More Anxious to Agree" so you'll need to read that one first in order for this one to make any sense.Warning: This poem contains angst and emotional fallout from the recent activity as Alicia frets over what happened. She's really upset, and it's not something that can be fixed in fast or straightforward ways. If that's touchy territory for you, think before you click.
"Never Carry Them Forward"
Alicia jogged through the alleys
of the warehouse district, gun
slung over her back, noting that
the men originally stationed
to contain potential firefights
had already withdrawn
according to orders.
The last three of her people
waiting onsite were all Guardians,
who wouldn't leave until Alicia did.
She rounded the corner to find
Cheval, Lorry, and Nanette
tucked out of sight in a niche
where two buildings joined.
"So how did the mad plan go?"
Cheval asked her.
"I didn't even get to test the TIG,
and I wanted to see what it could do
in the field, but I couldn't get a clear shot,"
said Alicia. "Then Hefty flagged me down.
"He and Fiddlesticks called their cop friends
to deal with the gunrunners and the guns."
"That sounds like it worked out,"
Cheval said with a nod. "You don't
look very happy, though."
Alicia wrapped her small arms
around him and pressed her cheek
against the wide wall of his belly.
"We made it look good. Nobody
will know it wasn't real. I got away.
But I think Fiddlesticks is really hurt,
and I didn't mean it," she said.
"What happened?" Cheval said,
his big hand coming up to pet her hair.
"We were playing tag, you know,
running and dodging and shoving
each other," Alicia said. The gun on
her shoulder shifted, and she shrugged it
back into place. "I tried to trip him with
my powers, and -- and it worked,
but he fell awful hard."
"You didn't stop to check
on him," Nanette guessed.
"I couldn't," Alicia said with a sigh.
"We were playing for the cameras
on the walls, and that would have
given it away -- or else we would
have to erase the footage, and
then what's the point?"
"What about the helmet camera
on the battlesuit that you mentioned
to Nanette when you made contact
earlier?" asked Cheval.
"I don't think they'll release that,"
Alicia said. "Hefty won't, anyway,
and I'm curious what the Omaha
police department will do."
"It would probably hurt them
more than us if they did,"
Cheval said with a nod.
"We can always do some
damage control later,
if it comes to that."
"They're solid," Alicia said.
"I think they can do better
at dealing with Crosshairs and
his men and all the guns."
"I agree," Lorry said. "They have
more training for that sort of thing, and
the law behind them. It's more efficient."
"Wait, how did you get those bruises?"
Nanette interrupted, her voice sharp.
Alicia rubbed one hand over
the yellowing mark at her shoulder,
as wide and long as two fingers together.
"He tagged me with one of his sticks --
he was trying to spin me around," she said.
"We were just roughhousing."
"Men," grumbled the nanny.
"I'm not the one who really got hurt,"
Alicia said. She sniffled and wiped her nose
against her shirt. "I didn't mean to, it just
happened, and now I'm worried.
Maybe I should go back and
check on him after all."
She was trying not to cry.
Really she was.
"This is a warm zone, Miss, and
it's getting warmer," said Lorry.
"We need to get out of here."
"But he was nice to me and fun
to play with and I like him,"
Alicia whispered. "I promised
that I wouldn't hurt him for real and
then I messed up. It's all my fault."
Whatever the problem was, she
could heal it with a touch -- if
she could reach Fiddlesticks
without anyone interfering.
"I'm sure the police department will
take good care of your friend,"
Cheval said. "Let's leave now,
and keep an eye on the situation
from a safe distance. If he doesn't
recover properly, then we'll think
about how to handle that later."
"I feel awful now," Alicia said.
"What do we do when we make
a mistake that hurts someone?"
Nanette prompted.
"Say sorry," Alicia recited. "But
they'll be keeping close watch --
Oh! Could I send him a message?"
"I'm sure something could be
arranged," Nanette said.
"It's natural to regret mistakes,
but we should learn from them,
and never carry them forward
to trip us in the future," said Cheval.
"Warm zone, Miss," Lorry reminded.
"We can go," she agreed.
Cheval picked her up, Nanette
stepped in close, and Lorry
took them all home.
* * *
Notes:
"We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us."
-- Lucy Maud Montgomery
TIG is short for Tickle Inducement Gun. It's a prototype super-gizmo intended to overload the nervous system and incapacitate people without killing them.
Bruises are typical of the minor injuries considered reasonable in sparring or roughhousing. Mangled knees requiring hospital care exceed that range, hence Alicia feeling guilty. Bruises go through color changes as they age and the pooled blood breaks down. Yellow doesn't usually appear until after 24-48 hours, so here it shows how fast Alicia is healing, already out of the blue-and-purple phase into the green-and-yellow phase.
Emergency response in tactical situations has a set of descriptions for the danger levels: hot (actively hazardous), warm (potentially hazardous), and cold (reasonably safe). Lorry being a bodyguard as well as a teleporter, it's his job to manage location in relation to risk assessment.
Apologies are meant to relieve guilt and repair damaged relationships. In cases like this, a verbal apology may not be enough, and circumstances may make apologizing in person difficult or impossible. Fiddlesticks actually doesn't blame Alicia for what happened, because he's more mature and knows what went wrong; but that doesn't make her feel any better. There are tips on how to apologize.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-23 12:06 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2015-04-23 01:34 am (UTC)Yay!
>> because you can tell how young Alicia really is. <<
Yep. I describe her as 7 years old, with 700 years of experience. Alicia is bright and alert, so she can do things like plan and carry out an assault maneuver, as long as she has appropriate backup. But on an emotional level, she makes mistakes -- and processes them -- very much in little girl mode. She doesn't have the maturity to think through on her own that Fiddlesticks had a pretty good idea what he was getting into and understood it wasn't perfectly safe even though they were trying to be careful.
It happened because of a pervasive problem that I call "overdriving your headlights" -- when some of your abilities so far exceed others that you get into trouble because you can see what to do, but not necessarily all of its drawbacks. Alicia has superpowers and knows how to use hers very effectively, but she doesn't know everything about other people's superpowers. They just smacked into a very consistent, but fairly obscure drawback to super-speed, which is that if you interrupt the motion unevenly, it tends to do damage. It's known but not widely, which means a lot of people discover it exactly like this. No matter how much experience Alicia has, there's always more about superpowers that people just don't know, so it keeps tripping her up. And she hates that and feels responsible for it, because she's the top of the whole heap.
I'm glad that her personality comes through so clearly and is plausible in context.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-04-23 01:17 pm (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-04-24 01:52 am (UTC)Yay! Thanks for the vote of confidence. I appreciate feedback from people with personal experience relevant to a poem.
>> He's very smart, so can sometimes process things intellectually like an older child, say, eight or nine, but emotionally is very much only seven. So it feels right, from my experience. <<
It's common for children to develop at different rates in different areas, particularly for intellectual ability to exceed emotional or social development by a wide range. Conversely some children who aren't much good at book-learning will grasp nuances of compassion and etiquette far beyond their years.
Yay!
Date: 2015-04-24 02:28 am (UTC)Not merely charming
Date: 2015-04-23 02:18 am (UTC)But what /works/ for me in this one is the way she seeks reassurance as she talks about the problem. That's one of the major reasons she needs (in six-foot letters) her Guardians so much; an unscrupulous person could twist her attentions and actions in that moment of vulnerability, and she couldn't see it for quite a long time.
Btw, I am VERY hopeful you're working on the next story in this set!
Re: Not merely charming
Date: 2015-04-23 04:16 am (UTC)Sooth. It's a big deal for her. The fact that she still cares so deeply about treating (some) people well is a sign that she is -- despite all the past damage -- relatively sane.
>> Her family, her Guardians, are protective and analyses problems in different ways. <<
Sooth. One reason that Alicia chooses them the way she does is because she needs people with an exceptional grasp of relationship dynamics.
>> But what /works/ for me in this one is the way she seeks reassurance as she talks about the problem. <<
Aww! Alicia is actually one of the supervillains with a very high level of help-seeking. She even has a pretty secure attachment, seen in the way she's confident about ranging away from her family but running back to them for comfort when needed.
>> That's one of the major reasons she needs (in six-foot letters) her Guardians so much; an unscrupulous person could twist her attentions and actions in that moment of vulnerability, and she couldn't see it for quite a long time. <<
Well, she needs them to stay as sane and functional as she is. Without the Guardians, Alicia tends more and more toward the amorality of a small child with a sometimes very rigid and other times weirdly elastic sense of "fair." As a number of Nazis are no longer around to attest.
But her pervdar is in excellent shape. Alicia has had centuries of experience with people trying to take advantage of her because she is small, cute, immortal, and incredibly powerful. Sure there are types of manipulation that go over her head, but she's gotten very adept at spotting people who use them, and warning signs. It's just that sometimes she purposely steps on the trap to break it. Alicia and her Guardians disagree on the advisability of that.
>> Btw, I am VERY hopeful you're working on the next story in this set! <<
Not yet, but I have some notes for it and it's on the short list of things I want to write. Fiddlesticks is not getting up from this one without help, but fortunately, he has the right connections. Next prompt call will be May 5 with a theme of "gentlemen in distress," so you could ask then if you wish.
Re: Not merely charming
Date: 2015-04-26 06:16 am (UTC)Nice one.
Re: Not merely charming
Date: 2015-04-26 06:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-23 06:07 am (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2015-04-23 06:21 am (UTC)That makes me happy.
I like exploring characters who challenge concepts of good and evil. Alicia has some sense of right and wrong (i.e. breaking a promise and hurting a friend are both wrong) and she can feel remorse. It's even spontaneous, which is a step ahead of several characters on the white side of the cape. But she can be really amoral, in a distinctively childlike way, toward people she considers legitimate targets.
>> And I wanna see the TIG work. <<
:D Feel free to request it in any relevant prompt call.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-12-05 10:56 am (UTC)"Tickle Inducement Gun"
LOL
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-02 06:23 pm (UTC)I really hope she manages to get her apology to Fiddlesticks.
Continuing onto the next poem :)
~Angel
Thoughts
Date: 2020-06-03 07:28 pm (UTC)Yay!
>> It's not nice when you hurt someone, especially when you didn't mean to and the injury is so possibly damaging.<<
Yeah, that sucks. Especially when she's spent several years studying medicine and got blindsided by a very obscure injury type because it's new.
>> I really hope she manages to get her apology to Fiddlesticks.<<
She does.