>> When I was his age, I hated it when adults didn't stop to ask me what was going on in my head when I got in trouble. I usually had the best of intentions, but things didn't always turn out the way I wanted them too. <<
Everyone makes mistakes, and kids have less experience so they make more. They need help figuring out why things went wrong and how to do better next time. Discipline teaches; punishment doesn't.
>> It was awful when people got mad without asking why, or worse, told me why I did something. Even if they were completely wrong I tended to believe them... because they were adults. <<
Saying things like, "You sound cranky. I think you're hungry. Let's see if eating something will help you feel less cranky," is useful for teaching kids about their emotions. But attributing wrong motives can be really destructive.
Me, I just concluded that adults who did that were stupid or unobservant. They were always saying things that were demonstrably false. So I quit paying attention to those people, and it drove them nuts. But I'm social teflon and that's a rare thing.
>> I hope Flip's mom figures things out soon. <<
Yes, she does. Most of the time she's a great parent. She's just running on fumes these days.
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dancing_serpent
Re: Poor Flip!
Date: 2014-06-24 09:59 pm (UTC)*hugs*
>> When I was his age, I hated it when adults didn't stop to ask me what was going on in my head when I got in trouble. I usually had the best of intentions, but things didn't always turn out the way I wanted them too. <<
Everyone makes mistakes, and kids have less experience so they make more. They need help figuring out why things went wrong and how to do better next time. Discipline teaches; punishment doesn't.
>> It was awful when people got mad without asking why, or worse, told me why I did something. Even if they were completely wrong I tended to believe them... because they were adults. <<
Saying things like, "You sound cranky. I think you're hungry. Let's see if eating something will help you feel less cranky," is useful for teaching kids about their emotions. But attributing wrong motives can be really destructive.
Me, I just concluded that adults who did that were stupid or unobservant. They were always saying things that were demonstrably false. So I quit paying attention to those people, and it drove them nuts. But I'm social teflon and that's a rare thing.
>> I hope Flip's mom figures things out soon. <<
Yes, she does. Most of the time she's a great parent. She's just running on fumes these days.