>> I love that : "Comparisons don't help. Your parents did quite enough damage regardless of what anyone else did," Phil said." So many people use comparisons to dismiss what others are feeling. Knowing that someone had it worse than you doesn't lessen the pain or invalid the feelings. <<
It goes both ways. People can use comparisons to diminish their own experience or someone else's, usually in destructive ways.
Learning to share stories in a more positive way is a delicate process, and despite what counselors may say, doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes it helps to hear what else has happened to other people. The Avengers are slowly getting better at sharing bits of their past with each other.
>> Phil nailed it with the "teen parent" thing. <<
I'm glad this works for you. It was one of the first things that caught my attention, although not everyone sees it that way. But if JARVIS and the bots are people as portrayed in canon, and Tony made DUM-E at seventeen, then he had to be a teen parent.
>> It will help Tony lessen his culpability, in the long run. <<
I hope so. He needs to understand that while his choices are his responsibility, the damage he's carrying is not his fault, and he can only do so much with the resources he has. Now that he has more, he's doing better.
>> I wonder what Jarvis is thinking and what he's going to say right now. <<
He's very conflicted, because Tony matters so deeply to him; but JARVIS does has some sense of self-worth. He just tends to put other people first.
>> I feel sad for both Tony, Jarvis and the bots! <<
Yeah, everybody's getting a trip through the wringer.
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dancing_serpent
Thank you!
Date: 2013-09-20 07:25 am (UTC)Yay!
>> I love that : "Comparisons don't help. Your parents did quite enough damage regardless of what anyone else did," Phil said."
So many people use comparisons to dismiss what others are feeling. Knowing that someone had it worse than you doesn't lessen the pain or invalid the feelings. <<
It goes both ways. People can use comparisons to diminish their own experience or someone else's, usually in destructive ways.
Learning to share stories in a more positive way is a delicate process, and despite what counselors may say, doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes it helps to hear what else has happened to other people. The Avengers are slowly getting better at sharing bits of their past with each other.
>> Phil nailed it with the "teen parent" thing. <<
I'm glad this works for you. It was one of the first things that caught my attention, although not everyone sees it that way. But if JARVIS and the bots are people as portrayed in canon, and Tony made DUM-E at seventeen, then he had to be a teen parent.
>> It will help Tony lessen his culpability, in the long run. <<
I hope so. He needs to understand that while his choices are his responsibility, the damage he's carrying is not his fault, and he can only do so much with the resources he has. Now that he has more, he's doing better.
>> I wonder what Jarvis is thinking and what he's going to say right now. <<
He's very conflicted, because Tony matters so deeply to him; but JARVIS does has some sense of self-worth. He just tends to put other people first.
>> I feel sad for both Tony, Jarvis and the bots! <<
Yeah, everybody's getting a trip through the wringer.
>> Great chapter, thanks! <<
You're welcome!