Let me put it this way: If a direct sequel to this is ever written, I'll re-read it at least as many times as THIS piece, and as long as it feels like Dace is NOT putting all the work off on Damask to "fix," I'll probably be fine with it all.
Maybe that's it-- it still feels like a loaf of bread set to proof, not yet ready for baking.
I usually LIKE the college-age "figuring out life and myself and adulting all at once" chaos in storytelling, but this time, it just felt a little bit too unbalanced. Another read, with a different day's events behind me, might have a completely, TOTALLY different interpretation.
That happens. I'm in no way complaining. (Seriously, I put in the time to read the poem four times before commenting. I'm perfectly willing to do so four more times, on different days.)
It's just an interesting little niggle, and sharing my own train of thought.
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dancing_serpent
Re: Hard to read
Date: 2018-06-30 07:29 am (UTC)Maybe that's it-- it still feels like a loaf of bread set to proof, not yet ready for baking.
I usually LIKE the college-age "figuring out life and myself and adulting all at once" chaos in storytelling, but this time, it just felt a little bit too unbalanced. Another read, with a different day's events behind me, might have a completely, TOTALLY different interpretation.
That happens. I'm in no way complaining. (Seriously, I put in the time to read the poem four times before commenting. I'm perfectly willing to do so four more times, on different days.)
It's just an interesting little niggle, and sharing my own train of thought.