a lot of what you said here sounds really familiar to us as a group of largely asexual and similar folks. we know you might not be asexual yourself, but the ace community is a good place to go searching for the kind of relationship you described. and it sounds possible you also might be ace or aromantic or something similar, so it might be worth looking into a bit if you want, or you're welcome to share with us and/or ask us to share about ourselves on the subject, and ask us questions if you like.
yes, a platonic life partnership like you described is totally a thing. you can absolutely have a roommate you can cuddle and cook with. that's a totally legitimate relationship type that is really out there. for some examples of similar things, you could try searching for terms like "queerplatonic" and "cuddle-buddy" and "spinster sisters" to give just a couple of options. there are examples throughout history and across different cultures, it's just often been called other things.
for a personal example, one of our primary life partners is someone who we cuddle with or just affectionately rest nearby with, watch movies with, talk about our and their day with, share triumphs and struggles and creativity and other such things with, co-operatively write stories together with, share things that made us laugh with, spend time with doing nothing in particular, and just generally support each other and be friends. we don't live together because we-the-beasts prefer not to share a living space with any other human-body-wearers. we also don't engage in sex or romance together, though we might share a good fanfic occasionally. our relationship is committed and stable, and is just as meaningful and important and worthwhile as any marriage or other committed sexual and/or romantic relationship.
it doesn't have to be explicit or committed or lifelong either though. a relationship can include any traits, activities, details, timespans, etc that you want and not include anything you don't want. it's your relationship, you get to define it and pick and choose what you want in it. think of it like a buffet: anything you enjoy doing with other people or want right now, you can put on your relationship-plate, anything you don't, just leave it out.
finding a compatible partner who wants roughly the same kind of relationship you want (or with whom you find a happy medium where nobody's doing anything they don't want to do) can be a challenge in this society, because it's so full of nonsense about romantic-sexual relationships being the only 'real' option that's 'worth' committing to, and other such ridiculousness. but it's getting easier again.
feel free to ask us if you have any questions or confusions or worries, or just want some support or reassurance, or anything else on the subject. also, it's okay if you don't feel like the words we're using fit you, we apologise if we've mis-labelled you or anything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancing_serpent
Re: Yes...
Date: 2017-06-17 05:32 pm (UTC)yes, a platonic life partnership like you described is totally a thing. you can absolutely have a roommate you can cuddle and cook with. that's a totally legitimate relationship type that is really out there. for some examples of similar things, you could try searching for terms like "queerplatonic" and "cuddle-buddy" and "spinster sisters" to give just a couple of options. there are examples throughout history and across different cultures, it's just often been called other things.
for a personal example, one of our primary life partners is someone who we cuddle with or just affectionately rest nearby with, watch movies with, talk about our and their day with, share triumphs and struggles and creativity and other such things with, co-operatively write stories together with, share things that made us laugh with, spend time with doing nothing in particular, and just generally support each other and be friends. we don't live together because we-the-beasts prefer not to share a living space with any other human-body-wearers. we also don't engage in sex or romance together, though we might share a good fanfic occasionally. our relationship is committed and stable, and is just as meaningful and important and worthwhile as any marriage or other committed sexual and/or romantic relationship.
it doesn't have to be explicit or committed or lifelong either though. a relationship can include any traits, activities, details, timespans, etc that you want and not include anything you don't want. it's your relationship, you get to define it and pick and choose what you want in it. think of it like a buffet: anything you enjoy doing with other people or want right now, you can put on your relationship-plate, anything you don't, just leave it out.
finding a compatible partner who wants roughly the same kind of relationship you want (or with whom you find a happy medium where nobody's doing anything they don't want to do) can be a challenge in this society, because it's so full of nonsense about romantic-sexual relationships being the only 'real' option that's 'worth' committing to, and other such ridiculousness. but it's getting easier again.
like ysabet said, asexual communities can be a great place to look, regardless of whether you yourself want to identify as ace or not. here's an asexual dating and social network site. there's also a list of ace and nonsexual dating sites with links, and a review of various ace and nonsexual dating sites with pros and cons. or you can look for asexual communities on dreamwidth or other sites.
feel free to ask us if you have any questions or confusions or worries, or just want some support or reassurance, or anything else on the subject. also, it's okay if you don't feel like the words we're using fit you, we apologise if we've mis-labelled you or anything.