ysabetwordsmith | Story: "Birthday Girl" (Part 4 of 18)

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Story: "Birthday Girl" (Part 4 of 18)

This story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," and "Coming Around."

Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Doombots crash a beautiful spring day in the park. The Avengers clean up the mess. This includes Natasha's rather confused longing for something she never had: a birthday party.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. Friendship. Confusion. Hulk is a genius too. Fluff. Making up for lost time. Birthday. Cultural traditions. Games. Gifts. Cake. The cake is never a lie! Tickling. Trust issues. Safety and security. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.

Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. Skip to Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17. Part 18.

"Birthday Girl" Part 4

Phil hovered over his battle-weary team as soon as he got them home. Steve was mobile but sore all over, balanced carefully between Tony and Clint. Wanting a distraction and some company, Steve refused to go to bed. Phil agreed since Steve wasn't in any danger, just uncomfortable. Clint helped Steve settle on the common room couch supported by pillows, and Tony put Ratatouille on the viewscreen.

Bruce was likewise mobile, as long as Phil and Natasha kept him upright, but he was nowhere near functional. Bruce didn't want to leave Steve, so they let him curl up on the loveseat with another pile of pillows. The other Avengers flopped into chairs around them, not really wanting to be separated either. Phil set a crockpot of chili to heat and went back to the common room.

Bruce clutched the purple balloon and asked Phil, "Why did Clint give me this?"

"It's a souvenir," Phil said. "It goes with this." He handed Bruce a Starkpad queued to the relevant footage.

Bruce watched the video of Hulk and Clint playing catch. "This is the same balloon?" he asked, looking up at Phil.

"Yep, same one," Clint answered. "Hulk likes 'bloons' a lot."

"It really is," Phil said. He rested a reassuring hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"The Other Guy didn't pop it," Bruce said slowly, rubbing his fingertips over the delicate sphere. He ran the video again. "Why are they so far apart? Hawkeye is standing outside Hulk's reach. I thought they liked each other? They were cuddling in the pictures you've showed me before ..."

Bruce misses sock-Clint, Phil suspected. He reached over and brought up a few still images, including the one of Hawkeye hugging Hulk while Hulk tried to hand the mylar balloon to Black Widow. "They got in their hugs later," Phil said.

"Playing with the balloons was Hulk's idea. He wanted to show you that he can be gentle," Clint explained to Bruce. "Playing catch was my idea. I thought it might not bother you as much if I stood back."

Bruce tugged off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "That, um ... this is ..."

"Hey, are you okay?" Clint scrambled out of his chair to crouch beside Bruce and clasp his knee in an offer of support.

"No, not really," Bruce said, his voice shaking. Under Phil's hand, his shoulder trembled too. "You just ... kind of disproved what I thought was a robust theory. I'm not ... I can't ... this isn't something I can ignore anymore. Balloons are fragile. If the Other Guy can do that, handle them safely ... then it's real, it has to be, and ..." Bruce hiccupped to a stop. He took a deep breath. "I can't do this right now. I'm too tired. I'll, I'll think about it later." He handed the Starkpad to Phil. He didn't let go of the balloon, though. "Can I just watch the movie?"

* * *

Notes:

Ratatouille is a whimsical movie about a rat who wants to be a chef.

Gentleness is an expression of strength bounded by control and compassion. It's not necessary to be gentle with unbreakable things, but rather with fragile things. The greater one's strength, the greater the need to be gentle because more things are breakable in comparison. There are ways to cultivate gentleness and compassion. Here are more exercises in gentleness.

Cognitive dissonance happens when two contradictory ideas occupy the same mental space. For example, "Hulk is a monster incapable of being gentle" and "Here is Hulk holding a balloon without popping it." People tend to hate cognitive dissonance. A common way to resolve it is by lying to oneself. There are other, more positive solutions too. Cognitive dissonance can also be applied for personal growth.

Now here's where we start to see the cool things about Bruce. He is stubborn, but not stupid. He is a scientist, and he's deeply invested in that identity. So that shapes how he deals with the Other Guy. First we have the idea of falsifiability: a legitimately framed hypothesis is one that could be disproven. A piece of evidence that disproves a hypothesis is often called a white crow, although the falsifiability source article is using black swans instead, and Bruce has a purple balloon. Confirmation bias inclines people to seek only information that agrees with their established stance; good scientists strive to avoid that bad habit. A theory is based on a hypothesis that not only plays out consistently in repeated experiments, but has an accurate predictive factor. A robust theory is one that has survived multiple efforts to alter or disprove it, accounts for all observed phenomena under a wide range of varying conditions, and remains the best explanation of the data. Bruce's observations were "Hulk isn't gentle" (description of previous activity) and "When Hulk appears, things and people WILL get smashed" (prediction). With a person, Hulk might not decide to smash at a given moment but could the next; people are vulnerable but not so fragile. But now Bruce has one example that absolutely cannot fit that: the purple balloon, unpopped, disproves the theory of Hulk as an uncontrollable ragemonster. And when push comes to shove, Bruce's identity "I am a scientist practicing legitimate scientific method" outweighs "Hulk isn't gentle."

[To be continued in Part 5 ...]

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Yeaahhhhh. I love the way Bruce is working to accept the evidence.

*happydance*

I am so glad that this hit the right balance. I don't like it when characters are too quick to accept a major life change, nor when they are too stubborn to deal with a changing situation and thus keep making the same mistakes over and over. I like to see a progression of personal growth. So that's usually what I aim to write, too.

Finally Bruce is starting to realize the Hulk can be gentle and now Hulk can start feeling some love. But I get the feeling Bruce isn't completely ready to trust him all that much around the team, and there's still a long road ahead of them... love the team's unity here: not leaving Steve alone, and worrying over Bruce. Great update, loving every one of them :)

--Siren

>> Finally Bruce is starting to realize the Hulk can be gentle and now Hulk can start feeling some love. <<

It has taken them a while to get there, but this is a good breakthrough. It's going to take more time before Hulk gets anything approaching love from Bruce, though. Right now Clint and Phil are the ones providing most of the affection.

>> But I get the feeling Bruce isn't completely ready to trust him all that much around the team, and there's still a long road ahead of them... <<

Yes, that's true. At some point Bruce is going to need another clue-by-four along the lines of trusting the team to gauge and handle potential hazards, as well as trusting Hulk not to smash them. Bruce has an unfortunate amount of history with "People I love hurt me" and "People I love get hurt." Not easy to break, no.

>> love the team's unity here: not leaving Steve alone, and worrying over Bruce. <<

They are much more serious about aftercare than usual for superheroes. It's one of those things people usually overlook in comics/movies. If your body has super-healing, there's not a whole lot that doctors can do for you; mostly you're going to wind up spending a few hours lying down feeling like crap. Hiding alone in your room (which is what Bruce definitely did early on, and probably Steve did too) is not very good self-care.

So as the team meshes over time, they get more determined about taking care of each other, and willingly or grudgingly allow others to take care of them. You can see a big difference between Steve and everyone else because he has positive associations with someone looking after him. It doesn't take long for him to decide that the Avengers are good for that, and take advantage of it. Meanwhile Bruce is still tetchy about being coddled, but will put up with it, and is actively protective of his teammates.

And now I'm wondering if Steve had that as an ulterior motive for planting himself on the couch, as a way of keeping Bruce more within reach. Steve is sneakier than most people realize.

>> Great update, loving every one of them :) <<

Yay! I'm happy to hear that.

AWESOME.

I'm glad you enjoyed this.

Sometimes a long complicated comment isn't called for :)

That's fine. With a series, it helps just to know who is reading it.

Yes, Bruce can't ignore hard evidence! That's great! He doesn't realise it yet, but this is awesome for him and Hulk, it's going to make its benevolent little way in their mind! Nice chapter (glad there was Steve : )!) Thank you!

>>Yes, Bruce can't ignore hard evidence! That's great!<<

Sooth. He's reasonably stubborn.

>> He doesn't realise it yet, but this is awesome for him and Hulk, it's going to make its benevolent little way in their mind! <<

Yes, this paves the way for them to do better, although it's still quite a hike.

>>Nice chapter (glad there was Steve :) !) Thank you!<<

I'm happy that you enjoyed it. There will be more Steve eventually.

I really like the way Bruce weighs the evidence here. I, too, like to see characters struggle and work out changes rather than blithely except them because, frankly, real people don't do that. We tend to hang on to our beliefs with steel teeth, releasing them slowly only in the face of irrefutable evidence.

On the other hand, the reader in me is strangely happy to see my theory that this would hit Bruce like a ton of bricks prove true.

>>I really like the way Bruce weighs the evidence here.<<

Yay! I'm glad this worked for you.

>> I, too, like to see characters struggle and work out changes rather than blithely except them because, frankly, real people don't do that. We tend to hang on to our beliefs with steel teeth, releasing them slowly only in the face of irrefutable evidence. <<

Yes, that's true. People are often slow learners. Some readers like a fantasy in which problems can be handwaved away. That usually jolts me out of a story. A more methodical process is more plausible, and may give me ideas for problem-solving of my own.

>>On the other hand, the reader in me is strangely happy to see my theory that this would hit Bruce like a ton of bricks prove true.<<

I love it when my readers think about what I write. You-all are pretty good at extrapolating where things are headed.

Poor Bruce has been reacting rather badly to the whole "Hulk is a good guy" plotline. I don't think he's going to relax about that point for a while.

Yay Bruce!!

I'm glad you like this.

He's making progress, slowly but surely.

I am loving the on-going Bruce sub-plot and was very fond of the last story in the series. This one is shaping up to address some of Natasha's wide-range of emotional issues and I must say I'm looking forward to it.
I also love your notes down the bottom with all the links and often find myself clicking them through. The theme you have running with skin-hunger is also pretty amazing because I think the need for positive touch is something people tend to under-estimate.
As always, looking forward to the next instalment :)

>>I am loving the on-going Bruce sub-plot and was very fond of the last story in the series.<<

There will be some more of that later in this story, and in the future. Major life changes take a while to work through.

>> This one is shaping up to address some of Natasha's wide-range of emotional issues and I must say I'm looking forward to it. <<

Yes, it took longer to reach this point with her because she is so reserved and doesn't have physically manifesting subconscious to help work it out.

>>I also love your notes down the bottom with all the links and often find myself clicking them through.<<

Yay! They're proving very popular so I am continuing the process.

>> The theme you have running with skin-hunger is also pretty amazing because I think the need for positive touch is something people tend to under-estimate.<<

That tendency to overlook it is why I used it as a theme, because this set of characters is a good mix for exploration of body issues.

You might also like the social contact series I'm running for Three Weeks for Dreamwidth, beginning with "Skin Hunger."

>>As always, looking forward to the next instalment :) <<

I'm happy to hear that!

This is a really good piece. I like how you left the Natasha bit hanging to give Bruce a clue-by-four that he can't ignore. :)

>> This is a really good piece. <<

I'm glad it worked for you.

>> I like how you left the Natasha bit hanging to give Bruce a clue-by-four that he can't ignore. :) <<

This follows several patterns. One is that in a story with multiple subplots, you can switch off between them. This supports item two, which is that if you crank the tension too high without a release, both the characters and the audience get overloaded in undesirable ways. It's like the carpentry line: "How far do you tighten a screw? A quarter turn before it strips." Identifying that point takes practice.

In hurt/comfort fiction particularly, stress is followed by something soothing. So we have the fight, then coming home to a safe place. Natasha gets a break while we grill Bruce. Bruce gets a break to watch the movie. then other stuff will happen. Tension, release. Done right it builds up to a nice climax and reward.

♥

I'm glad you liked this.

I love that Clint stood back from Hulk while they played catch out of courtesy to Bruce. <3

Natasha's lack of action in this one makes me think she has something brewing. On to the next chapter to find out!

>> I love that Clint stood back from Hulk while they played catch out of courtesy to Bruce. <3 <<

In a healthy family, people try to find ways of accomplishing important tasks without hurting each other's feelings. A good compromise trades away things that people feel less strongly about to protect things they feel more strongly about, and doesn't leave anyone feeling that they've crossed the wrong kind of line. Stepping back a little doesn't hurt Hulk and Clint, but reduces the impact on Bruce. Poor Bruce is still trying to wrap his head around the idea that Hulk is even capable of caring.

>> Natasha's lack of action in this one makes me think she has something brewing. On to the next chapter to find out! <<

Oh yes. The particular kind of trauma that Natasha survived has left her with nearly flat emotions. Under stress, what little she has will tend to shut down. But since she has access to a safe and supportive environment now, it doesn't always stay that way. Sometimes she can retrieve and process emotions later. You'll see a lot of that in this story, showing how she compensates for that early damage.

1) "Bloon" is almost my favorite neologism you've put forth

2) I love love love Bruce + cognitive dissonance= splodey.

>> 1) "Bloon" is almost my favorite neologism you've put forth <<

Yay! Hulk's voice can be so much fun.

>> 2) I love love love Bruce + cognitive dissonance = splodey. <<

Poor guy, he's has his world turned upside down so much that it's more than he can process to go through that again. So, you'll see Bruce quietly freaking out over this for the next few stories.

One of my favourite things about this chapter has always been the footnotes. I know, I know, people praise your footnotes and magical links all the time (as well as they should) but I just really love the way you analyze Bruce and what's going on inside his head. It's, as you say, very cool and the footnotes help us appricate that. ^^

/Embli

>> One of my favourite things about this chapter has always been the footnotes. I know, I know, people praise your footnotes and magical links all the time (as well as they should) <<

I'm happy to hear that.

>> but I just really love the way you analyze Bruce and what's going on inside his head. It's, as you say, very cool and the footnotes help us appricate that. ^^ <<

:D I enjoy digging into literature. Ideally, a story should show the character development, and I try to do that. But I also like just talking about it. There I can highlight some things that may not be clear to people who aren't literature scholars.

Are they ever going to watch Studio Ghibli movies? Most of them are geared to kids, and the art is FANTASTIC (which is also perfect for kidlets, they need to be surrounded by good things).

That would be so awesome. :D Steve is totally Nausicaa.

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Story: "Birthday Girl" (Part 4 of 18)

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