Poem: "Not a Destination, But a Process"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This poem is spillover from the March 5, 2024 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from fuzzyred and chanter1944. It also fills the "Day Job" square in my 3-1-24 card for the National Crafting Month Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with fuzzyred. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It follows "Conscious of the Injustice" so read that first or this won't make much sense.


"Not a Destination, But a Process"


Liberty could hardly
believe her luck.

She had just gotten
into Omaha when she
met someone who had
helped her get a day job.

Shiv was a little weird,
sure, but he was solid --
and he didn't try to grab
her anywhere rude, so
that was even better.

Liberty was starting off as
an all-purpose cleaning girl,
since she already knew how
to mop and wash dishes.

That'd earn minimum wage,
which was enough to afford
a decent apartment, if she
could get some fake ID.

Meanwhile, Liberty was
set to couchsurf with
one of the waitresses.

She wouldn't be stuck with
cleanup work forever, though,
not if she wanted to learn more.

Cook had offered to teach her
actual cooking skills -- not just
recipes, but things like how
to use a knife so the slices
came out all the same size.

Liberty had pounced on that,
because job skills were valuable.

Right now, Shiv was showing her
how to fold napkins for the tables.

He had a binder with pictures of
the finished folds and lists of steps.

"See, napkins are cheap, and it don't
cost anything to fold 'em fancy, but it
makes the place look nicer," Shiv said.
"So we got the easy ones for every day,
the fancy ones for stuff like weddings,
and then all of the holiday styles."

"Bunny ears," Liberty said,
tracing the shape on the page.

"Yeah, them's for Easter,"
Shiv said. "We got flowers
too, and watermelon for
Juneteenth, a turkey for
Thanksgiving, and so on."

Liberty had to admit that they
looked cute, even if she wasn't
sure that she could fold them.

Then Shiv's head popped up,
and Liberty heard footsteps.

Coming toward them was
was a mousy-looking white guy
dressed in a woman's sweater
embroidered with sunflowers
and poppies, daisies and yarrow.

It even had a bunch of pudgy bees,
their tiny wings done in some sort
of shimmery thread that made it
look like they could really fly.

It was the silliest thing that
Liberty had ever seen, but
she wanted to touch it anyway.

Shiv bounded over and rubbed
himself along it like a big ol' cat.
"Hey, Dr. G," he said, grinning.

"Hello, Shiv," said Dr. G.
"Boss White thought that
someone here could use
a sympathetic ear."

"Ah yeah, Liberty's had
a bit of a hard time just
getting here," Shiv said.
"You want some space?"

"That would be nice, if
Liberty feels comfortable
with me," said Dr. G.

"It's a public place,"
Liberty said, shrugging.
"Sit down if you'd like."

"Thank you for the invitation,"
Dr. G said, and sat down at
the booth where they'd been
practicing the napkin folds.

"I'll go help Cook," Shiv said,
and skittered off to the kitchen.

"Boss White mentioned that
you've got your head in a bit
of a tangle," said Dr. G.

"Well, that's what he said,
and he's a telepath, so I guess
he should know," said Liberty.
"I don't feel any different, though."

"Do you ever feel like you want
to do one thing, but find yourself
doing another?" asked Dr. G.

"Yeah, sometimes," said Liberty.
"Doesn't it happen to everyone?"

"Possibly so," said Dr. G.
"What do you think about it?"

Liberty snorted. "That you're
another silly head-shrinker like
the guy at the community center."

"That's part of my job," said Dr. G.
"Can you think of anything that
you might like some help with?"

"Maybe fitting in here," she said,
tapping her fingers on the table.
"It's a mixed group, and I haven't
worked with white people a lot,
but I really need this job."

"Diversity skills," said Dr. G.
"Useful to know, applicable in
any career, and you couldn't have
picked a better place to learn them."

He popped open his briefcase
and passed her a few pages.

"These are some activities that
can help you stretch yourself and
learn more about other people,"
said Dr. G. "Start with fun ones,
and it will be easier to grow."

Liberty looked at the list.
Visit an art show from
another culture. Listen to
music in a foreign language.
Eat at an ethnic restaurant.
Read a book set far away.

"Really? This counts?"
she said. "It's not much."

"It's a start," said Dr. G.
"Don't overwhelm yourself."

"It's just ..." Liberty picked at
the corner of a page. "Boss White
made it sound like I'm kind of a mess."

"He saw some things inside you that
worried him," said Dr. G. "Ideally,
we'd like for a mindhealer to take
a look. Trouble is, neither of us
know one suited to this case. So,
I'm starting with simpler methods
that I already have in hand."

"And that'll work?" said Liberty.

"Whether it does or not, it will
tell us something useful about
the inside of your head," said Dr. G.

He pulled out a few more pages
and offered them to Liberty.

"These can help you think about
your beliefs and values," he said.
"You might find places where you
want something, but feel as if
you're getting pulled up short."

Liberty wrinkled her nose. "It
looks like homework," she said.

"It can be," said Dr. G. "Maybe
something more visual would appeal?"

Next he pulled out a colorful page
that made her more curious,
and text that explained it.

"A pie chart?" Liberty said,
leaning over to look at it.

She realized that the labels
were all about different parts of
her life and how they worked.

"Oh!" She tapped one of
the wedges. "I got a job!"

"Congratulations," said Dr. G.
"How do you feel about that?"

"Really great," said Liberty.
"I'm so proud of myself. I wasn't
sure I could get a decent job,
but I did. Cook even offered
to teach me some kitchen skills!"

"That's quite an accomplishment,"
said Dr. G. "That sounds like
your career section is doing
well. If you wish, you can think
about other parts of your life
and how well they stand up,
or what you'd like to improve."

Liberty looked at the pie chart
again. Family was a mess but
she didn't want to poke at it.
Romance didn't interest her.

Fun, well, she had a bunch
of new things to try out now.
Finances should be good
since she just got a job, and
social, sure, she had met
people who didn't suck.

"Yeah, I can work with this,"
she said. "You really think
this will get me to okay?

"Mental health is
not a destination, but
a process," said Dr. G.
"It’s about how you drive,
not where you’re going."

"I can't drive either,"
Liberty pointed out.

Dr. G chuckled. "That's
all right, it's another thing
you can learn if you like."

"Maybe I should start with
a bus pass," said Liberty.
"That's a lot easier to earn."

"An excellent goal," said Dr. G.
"That covers your transportation.
You have a job and income already.
Perhaps a fun goal and a practical one?"

"Cook's going to teach me knife skills,"
Liberty reminded him. She looked at
the pages again. "I could try eating
at an ethnic restaurant. It's gotta
be good to know the competition."

Dr. G made some notes on a page
of his own. "That's a plan," he said.
"I'll drop by here in a week or so, and
you can tell me about your adventures."

"Okay," said Liberty. "I think I'd like it.
I don't know many folks here yet."

"Then it's a deal," Dr. G said,
and so they shook on it.

* * *

Notes:

This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.

Comments

[wispfox]

Aww, Liberty gets to benefit from Dr. G!

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

That should help her considerably.

[fuzzyred]

I really like this one! I like how Dr. G is so good at helping people break things into smaller steps, showing them how to do one little thing at a time and see how that helps, rather then try to do something giant right away.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I really like this one! <<

That's good to hear. :D

>> I like how Dr. G is so good at helping people break things into smaller steps, showing them how to do one little thing at a time and see how that helps, rather then try to do something giant right away.<<

Chunking is an essential step for any large goal. With therapy, you have to define the problem at least in general scope, establish your credentials, your relevance to solving the problem, create trust and rapport. Some of that takes time, but you don't want to be waiting around doing nothing. So it helps to lay out some activities that are relevant, helpful, but low in effort and risk. Dr. G is very good at this. It works well with skittish people who have had poor experiences with past caregivers.

Re: Thank you!

[fuzzyred]

>>Chunking is an essential step for any large goal. With therapy, you have to define the problem at least in general scope, establish your credentials, your relevance to solving the problem, create trust and rapport. Some of that takes time, but you don't want to be waiting around doing nothing. So it helps to lay out some activities that are relevant, helpful, but low in effort and risk. Dr. G is very good at this. It works well with skittish people who have had poor experiences with past caregivers.<<

All of that sounds very sensible. I'm not so great at chunking myself, so it is very helpful to see examples of it and different ways that it can be done. :) I also have a tendency to get overwhelmed or impatient to see results, so small steps that don't require much effort are a bonus in that regard too.

Re: Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> All of that sounds very sensible. I'm not so great at chunking myself, so it is very helpful to see examples of it and different ways that it can be done. :)

Most people can get better with practice. Think about ways to divide things, look for meaningful differences. Frex with jelly, there are three main groups: pink/red, yellow/orange, and purple. Most people like at least one but are less fond of another. So when looking a wall of 20 jelly flavors, identifying your preferred category will quickly eliminate the need to examine most of them.

Another approach is to figure out what size numbers you find comfortable and work with those. Most people work well with three and four, hence the use in telephone numbers or other clusters. Five and ten are very useful for batching things in base ten, thus what I tend to use for counting coins or other small items.

>> I also have a tendency to get overwhelmed or impatient to see results, so small steps that don't require much effort are a bonus in that regard too.<<

You might like the one-day goals.

Liberty

[dialecticdreamer]

She noticed Graham's sweater was designed "for a woman," which I may not agree with, but the point is, she spent so much time focused on the sweater that Graham got close enough to touch Shiv before she had any trace of worry/panic/upset.

Clever.

Also, hilarious to react by thinking, "How do you know the sweater is female?" LOL

Re: Liberty

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> She noticed Graham's sweater was designed "for a woman," which I may not agree with,<<

I think that's how the image was described.

>> but the point is, she spent so much time focused on the sweater that Graham got close enough to touch Shiv before she had any trace of worry/panic/upset.<<

Likely one reason why Dr. G wears such silly sweaters.

>> Also, hilarious to react by thinking, "How do you know the sweater is female?" LOL

There are a couple of ways. Some are shaped to accommodate female bodies. Others have motifs that most men wouldn't wear. Men can wear flowers but usually don't.

Re: Liberty

[see_also_friend]

For /visual/ fashion choices to distract stressed or anxious brains, I observe that visuals that have somewhat irregular patterns and a variety of colors are often distracting. Think like pained jasper, pictures of trees in leaf, a slightly shimmery fabric in motion [reflecting a little light].

The idea is to have a mini version of nature-like visuals or patterns, which our brains tend to find much more engaging than, say, checkerboards or stripes or whatever.

Re: Liberty

[ysabetwordsmith]

That does match Graham's taste in sweaters.

Re: Liberty

[see_also_friend]

It's also useful if you need to distract someone who is freaking out, and that includes yourself:
- jewelry or cloth with natural variation
- fabric with soothing texture (soft, stretchy, fuzzy, plushy)
- little sparklies
- things that move a little bit, or appear to.
- Bracelets are good for fiddling with or handing to other people.)
- For an auditiory component, an angel bell might be good (but that might not be Graham's style.)

Re: Liberty

[see_also_friend]

I assume the colors are ones typically read as feminine - or perhaps the design.

While the cut /could/ be feminine, sweaters are usually fairly baggy and I don't think Graham would be wearing something obviously designed for an hourglass figure.

I think she found the design interesting. (I suspect it was a sort of boho 'wild garden' design, probably with a gazillion colors, including at least a few shimmery bits, and the flowers probably covered most of the front of the sweater as well - which, again, usually feminine-coded.) Anyway, the natural picture, wide variation in colors, and bits of sparkles is a very good way to distract a highly-stressed brain.

Plus the dude wearing a fuzzy ladies' sweater is most likely not a macho-aggressive hazard.

And if she is familiar enough with Shiv to know that he is not typically tactile, the affectionate greeting would also be noteworthy, at minimum indicating that Graham is a friend of the social group.

Re: Liberty

[dialecticdreamer]

Yeah, it just seemed like an odd descriptor. "Wildly floral" would be easy to write, and suggests 'feminine' to most people.

Re: Liberty

[see_also_friend]

In that case it's probably an indication of how Liberty's brain works. Given that she has a traditionally submissively-classist mother, it stands to reason she might have been heavily exposed to traditional gender roles as well - in which case she would most likely read Graham as 'funny guy in a women's sweater.'

In contrast, a lot of folks around here don't clearly delineate between items designated as for men or women, in which case floral/monochrome would be more relevant than the gender tag.

Hmmm, interestingly (and in contrast to Graham) I prefer mono-color sweaters, though I definitely wear ones cut for a female body shape.

Re: Liberty

[dialecticdreamer]

Excellent point!

She inherited soul damage from her ancestors' being psychically... 'hacked' is a mild word for it. So, yeah, she'll have imprints and standards from a hundred years ago.

Re: Liberty

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> In that case it's probably an indication of how Liberty's brain works. Given that she has a traditionally submissively-classist mother, it stands to reason she might have been heavily exposed to traditional gender roles as well - in which case she would most likely read Graham as 'funny guy in a women's sweater.' <<

That's quite possible. And since Liberty doesn't fit with that, she may prefer the more genderflexy crowd at Blues Moon.

>>In contrast, a lot of folks around here don't clearly delineate between items designated as for men or women, in which case floral/monochrome would be more relevant than the gender tag.<<

Clothes can be genderfree or gendered, in a spectrum from feminissima through neutral to macho. Plus genderfuck, which deliberately mixes signals. Without buttons, the flowers are probably the strongest gender marker.

>>Hmmm, interestingly (and in contrast to Graham) I prefer mono-color sweaters, though I definitely wear ones cut for a female body shape.<<

*laugh* I often wear men's clothes. Women's clothes often don't cover enough or stay put. I want a T-shirt to have enough room for my tits, sleeves that enclose my upper arms, and not ride up so far my boobs flash when I raise my arms over my head. I can find that in menswear or at a farm store, and that's about it.

Re: Liberty

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>I assume the colors are ones typically read as feminine - or perhaps the design.<<

This is the sweater:
https://img.staticdj.com/69da4c1d727f04a2eeeafe9ed84b46fa_750x.jpeg

The background is kind of oatmeal. Anyone can wear neutral colors.

It is heavily embroidered with bright flowers. Both the motif and the colors tend to read feminine. Most men probably would not wear a sweater covered in embroidered flowers -- though an avid gardener might.

>> While the cut /could/ be feminine, sweaters are usually fairly baggy and I don't think Graham would be wearing something obviously designed for an hourglass figure.<<

The cut of this sweater does not seem obviously hourglass. Some others do have that shape.

>>I think she found the design interesting.<<

Yep.

>> (I suspect it was a sort of boho 'wild garden' design, probably with a gazillion colors, <<

Yes. I described it as a cottage garden based on the shapes, colors, and arrangement of flowers.

>>including at least a few shimmery bits,<<

That's the bee wings.

>> and the flowers probably covered most of the front of the sweater as well - which, again, usually feminine-coded.) <<

Much of the front and also the sleeve ends. It seems to wrap around the back too.

>> Anyway, the natural picture, wide variation in colors, and bits of sparkles is a very good way to distract a highly-stressed brain.<<

True. Also the embroidery is high-relief that invites touching.

>>Plus the dude wearing a fuzzy ladies' sweater is most likely not a macho-aggressive hazard.<<

Exactly.

I described it as a feminine sweater because of the embroidered flowers, but also because that's what the reference picture said.

>> And if she is familiar enough with Shiv to know that he is not typically tactile, the affectionate greeting would also be noteworthy, at minimum indicating that Graham is a friend of the social group.<<

Liberty is new in the group and doesn't know anyone well. But you don't need 5 minutes to figure out that Shiv is a prickly sonofabitch, so if he likes someone, that is noteworthy.

Re: Liberty

[see_also_friend]

>>The background is kind of oatmeal. Anyone can wear neutral colors.<<

Hunh, I was imagining a bright or pastel background color.

>>The cut of this sweater does not seem obviously hourglass. Some others do have that shape.<<

I usually prefer ones with a slight tuck above the hips - it looks better on me. Besides, If I have a quality wool sweater, I might as well make sure I can wear it for looking presentable and for lounging around the house.

>>Liberty is new in the group and doesn't know anyone well. But you don't need 5 minutes to figure out that Shiv is a prickly sonofabitch, so if he likes someone, that is noteworthy.<<

Also, I think he recruited her and is kind of mentoring her, so she'll probably be watching him for social cues.

Re: Liberty

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Hunh, I was imagining a bright or pastel background color.<<

I've seen that, but this was oatmeal. There's a link to a picture of it in the notes.

>>I usually prefer ones with a slight tuck above the hips - it looks better on me. Besides, If I have a quality wool sweater, I might as well make sure I can wear it for looking presentable and for lounging around the house.<<

A little bit of shaping is helpful. I need plenty of room in the chest.

>>Also, I think he recruited her and is kind of mentoring her, so she'll probably be watching him for social cues.<<

True, and despite being a prickly little shit, Shiv actually is good at that job. He can spot people at loose ends, approach them, figure out if they're a better fit for the gang or something else, and give them a very rough-and-ready introduction to how the gang works. Kid even knows where the ladystuff is and can explain it without choking.

Starting a new thread- social "standards"

[dialecticdreamer]

Trying to read a reply in a 2" wide column is a PITA.

So, here's a new thread: HOW does the imprint respond to changes in the OVERALL environment around the victim? Born into the poorest zip code in West Virginia. Age one, the local churches each begin a LFL in their front yard, and routinely restock each other's libraries. Age two, the school shifts its after-school care to longer open hours, and includes wraparound services like meals and snacks through a food charity, then adds homework help through grants and training from a literacy foundation.

Stop the improvements there. The latchkey kid problem has largely disappeared, if the afterschool staff are safe and healthy adults. The nutrition problems have gotten a huge boost by having at least two reliable and healthy meals, plus at least one snack, five days of seven. The literacy problem has decreased because early literacy is encouraged, starting in preschool, with help and encouragement along with literacy-specific tutoring enfolded into the after school program.

There IS, and always will be, some drift in and out of programs like this, but for the majority of kids attending, the pattern of gains spans all of elementary school, not just a year or two of preschool.

So... How does the imprint react to the kind of improvements in the community that are "universal" in the child's perception, not color-based, not color-segregated to give one group power over the other? My favorite community center in California was largely white or Hispanic staff, serving mostly Hispanic people with a scattering of other groups. My new favorite community center is staffed 80% Black, 10% Hispanic, 10% everything else. How does that one change create epigenetic effects in a teen who moves from (a) to (b) just before they start high school, ESPECIALLY if the wraparound services are the same at the same quality?

Re: Starting a new thread- social "standards"

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> So, here's a new thread: HOW does the imprint respond to changes in the OVERALL environment around the victim? <<

The environment can reinforce the imprint, say through police violence. Or it can wear away at the imprint, say through literacy programs.

Hell, I've done it myself. *ponder* And we can use those numbers! Out of a class of ~20 students, we'd see 1-2 per semester just catch fire with it. That's a full success rate of 5-10% using ordinary methods on (what I believe to be) ordinary damage. So for super damage, take the lower number of 5% as 1 in 20 students with Lynch cuts who could break through the "dumb n*gg*r" part of the imprint by means of classes on literacy, literature, composition, etc.

>>The nutrition problems have gotten a huge boost by having at least two reliable and healthy meals, plus at least one snack, five days of seven. <<

I think nutrition will help a lot, because slave diets were deliberately poor, so that conflicts and creates friction.

>>So... How does the imprint react to the kind of improvements in the community that are "universal" in the child's perception, not color-based, not color-segregated to give one group power over the other?<<

The key part with community is you have a complex system interacting with another complex system. Not one point of friction, but if you're really trying to break it, many points of friction. Think about honeybees butting heads -- the more this happens, the faster the bee figures out that the food source she's reported is no longer valid.

>>How does that one change create epigenetic effects in a teen who moves from (a) to (b) just before they start high school, ESPECIALLY if the wraparound services are the same at the same quality? <<

Environment can make large, fairly fast changes in epigenetics. So I would expect community efforts to break that part of the imprint effectively. You need cohesion to get big effects though. Look at how it's taken 2 years for Shiv to make the progress he has.

Re: Starting a new thread- social "standards"

[dialecticdreamer]

Ah, but to use Shiv as an example AGAIN...

Look at where he is now, with a stable, supportive family, with work that he enjoys and art outlets practically whenever he wants or needs them (plus the income from Slash That Sh*t art), he's dabbling in college, DOING college-level work in practical metallurgy and glasswork, and so on. He can cook simple meals for himself, organize his day, week, and month with the support that others helped him create to meet HIS style of learning and priorities.

Give him another two years and he'll be what, twenty-four? How much faster will he progress now that he's working from a steady landing and launch platform? Unlike here, he'll be able to afford day to day expenses with a part time job, and can if he chooses, invest his profits from art, or use them to support the Omaha Res.

Sure, he took "the long way around" by T-American standards, but compare that to the chaos HERE, and the young man is doing very well with entirely legal aspects of his life.

Ironic that he calls himself a supervillain, isn't it?

Re: Starting a new thread- social "standards"

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Give him another two years and he'll be what, twenty-four? <<

Twenty-three maybe?

>> How much faster will he progress now that he's working from a steady landing and launch platform? <<

Don't forget ground lost to freaking out. It's likely to be a cha-cha.

>> Unlike here, he'll be able to afford day to day expenses with a part time job,<<

True.

>> and can if he chooses, invest his profits from art, or use them to support the Omaha Res.<<

He's been doing that already. Dymin helps him budget, but Shiv doesn't handle large numbers or long-term planning well. So he's got categories like fixed expenses, everyday stuff, seasonal ones like clothes, etc. That leaves leftover, especially with bonuses. So he's got a few places to shove extra money where he doesn't have to think about it. Savings, investments that someone else deals with, the Omaha Res, and art supplies are among those.

>> Sure, he took "the long way around" by T-American standards, but compare that to the chaos HERE, and the young man is doing very well with entirely legal aspects of his life.<<

True.

>>Ironic that he calls himself a supervillain, isn't it? <<

"Bitch, you touch that kid again and I'll cut your fuckin' fingers off."

He would've sliced her, too, if she hadn't backed off. Not to mention what he did to the would-be kidnappers. He can literally turn someone's own bones against them.

But mostly he doesn't.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>However, the social perception is still different than a couple hundred years ago.<<

What we have is a somewhat different set of bad symptoms stemming from mostly the same bad foundations.

>>There's also the chattel slave/wage slave debate : in 1802, a smart master will make sure his slaves are fed, housed, etc, but in modern times wage slaves have to be self-advocating enough to meet those needs themselves<<

True at present. But it depends on the supply and demand. When slaves were readily available fresh from Africa, owners cared far less than after that was banned. When workers are scarce, employers defend them fiercely; when they are common, employers abuse them.

>> ...now I'm wondering if Liberty might be biracial and/or a rape baby, and either one would open up other aspects of the problem.<<

She is a rape baby, likely biracial although that part isn't specified in her character sheet.

>>I was thinking of hybridization, specifically where you have two 'pure' lineages with specific personalities. Once you hybridize them, the resulting personalities of offspring can be rather erratic, and it can be hard to determine how much of the 'calm' or 'aggressive' personality will manifest. <<

The more you mix things up, the less predictable the outcomes.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I have heard of walking Meetings (don’t recall if there is an official name.) Shakers used to dance as a form of worship… I suspect they’ll eventually have a wider of options.<<

I've seen Quakers form up into Silence together, while out and about. They just sort of create a little bubble around themselves, and other people usually ignore them.

>> Also, unless they need to be involved in the organization of a Meeting, they can skip attending. Later on, bicultural folks can go. But at first it would be tricky.<<

True.

>> Re: fussing : I can also see people discussing about brothels as oppression... <<

Sex work in general can be oppressive. But owning a brothel is a huge step up for the madam, and working in a brothel is a huge step up from streetwalking or calling. People will push back on that one.

>> They’d probably have more of an extended-community model of childcare. The ‘cat colony,’ model gives a different sort of freedom than a marital-fidelity pair bond. <<

Yep. Whoever wants a child can generally get one, even if not fertile; and whoever doesn't want one, can often find someone else to take it off their hands. People are free to seek pleasure where they will. For long-term support, platonic relationships seem more popular.

>>Relationships with people like yourself are easier. Also, husbands can be… complicated at the best of times. (Also, if the men usually aren’t around…)<<

The best description I've heard was an old lady nodding at a lesbian couple and observing, "Men too headache."

>> So, they'll aggregate some disabilities, probably have a higher than mainstream number of queerfolk (though mostly guys), and skew towards adventurous-tolerant sorts.<<

Yes, although I suspect that women also form their own relationships, which men may or may not notice unless paying for a lesbian show. I think the society would just wind up with a higher expression of bisexuality.

>>I don't think we'll see a ship with more than 1/3 of the crew as women, unless someone has a deliberately women-majority crew. Similarly, I'm guesstimateing that the low end would be 1 in 20 (or less), though some may be passing as men. Passing will be less required over time.<<

The pattern I've seen:

* all-male crew (as far as they know): the most common

* all female crew (as far as they know): occasional

* single-sex crew with one or two of another sex: occasional

* a usually genderqueer captain who gives no fox about gender and has a motley crew, usually with a bunch of other genderqueer sailors among the men and women: rare

>> Also, having more women on the crews will cause more conflicts, (jealousy) and possibly change the dynamic (some men will either try to protect or take advantage of women in ways they don’t with other men.) Plus, babies, because birth control in this era sucked.<<

True.

>>...which will gradually be less of a thing after 1700, since education will be more freely available. This will clash with wider society.<<

It will give the Caribbean increasing advantage over time, though.

>>I could see people unfamiliar with Quaker culture not picking up on “no” signals, like with Japan/US interactions.<<

Plausible failure mode, although nobody is going to mistake the form of NO that is a Quaker planting themselves and refusing to budge.

>>If they’re planning to network, they’d do well to carry some sort of a letter of introduction*, but they’d need to be involved in a Quaker community first.
*I don’t recall the official term right now.<<

I've often heard it called a letter of introduction, so we can use that.

>>If they’re just wandering by, they might be able to send the most Quaker-fluent person in to discuss, but still might not have much luck.<<

*ponder* I think the easiest would be putting on reasonably modest clothes and then either walking in and sitting down without saying a word (if the Meeting seems to be open to anyone) or if they're not sure, asking if it's open. Just knowing how to sit in Silence -- whether or not you do it regularly -- ought to earn enough attention that people would talk with you after Meeting.

>>Also, consider if the two groups are different enough to split over doctrine/behavior. Once you have different factions, it changes the group(s) dynamics.<<

A split is plausible.

>>Thanks. I was having a bad day and this cheered me up a bit.<<

I'm happy I could help.

>>Hunh, I’ve usually seen him trying to avoid people he doesn’t like, unless they’ve already pissed him off by being rude or jerkish or something.<<

Often he does avoid people.

>>She still has some reservations. I've only seen her mess with people's minds consensually or as a way of dealing with a threat...very different than that creepy guy.<<

True.

>>And Moderato only used his powers in combat when someone dying was the alternative.<<

Steel will ring someone's head like a bell.

>> Chicken-or-egg problem : b/c powers or culture? (Probably both.) <<

It's often a feedback loop of both.

>>Attacking an empath could give one self-induced PTSD from the backlash.<<

Credible threat.