ysabetwordsmith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2017-12-26 09:06 pm
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2017-12-26 09:06 pm
Entry tags:
Poem: "Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want"
This poem came out of the October 2017 ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from bairnsidhe. It also fills the "shapeshifter" square in my 11-1-16 card for the Fall Festival Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by the pool with ng_moonmoth and mama_kestrel. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
"Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want"
When Calliope and Vagary left
the Tranquility Counseling Center,
she turned to him and said, "Can we
skip the followup today, or at least
cut it short? I have a major project
waiting for me at home, so ..."
Vagary tried not to wilt too visibly,
because Calliope hated that. "I guess,
if you really need to go," he said.
"I just don't want to start this in
the afternoon and then be scrambling
to finish it before bed," Calliope said.
"Could I help?" Vagary offered.
"I know I've wasted a ton of your time.
Let me pay back a little of it. If I pitch in,
then you should get done sooner."
Calliope narrowed her eyes at him.
"You have to promise not to laugh."
"I can promise to try really hard
not to laugh," Vagary said. "I'm
not sure I can guarantee it. Why?"
"It's my wardrobe," Calliope said.
"My gender coach suggested that I
go through it, take out what I don't use,
and think about what to add for autumn."
"Sure, I can do that," Vagary said.
"I've done it plenty of times before."
"You have helped a trans or
genderqueer person sort clothes
plenty of times?" she said dubiously.
"Trans or genderqueer, a few times,"
Vagary said. "Soup friends, plenty.
Wardrobe refresh in general, lots."
"You're a guy," Calliope said.
"Most men don't care about this."
"They do when they move into
an apartment with a closet that's
two feet wide," Vagary said.
"Arcadia East apartments are
really small, Cal. So we help
newcomers figure out how to cope
with those wardrobe challenges."
"Huh. I seem to have underestimated
you," she said, looking bemused. " Again."
"Offer's still open," Vagary said. He
hoped she wouldn't kick him to the curb.
"Okay, let's give it a try," she said.
The drive to her place was a little tense,
but not unbearable. He'd been inside
her house before, after all ... just
not very often with an invitation.
When they got into the foyer,
Calliope hesitated, staring at him.
"What do you need?" Vagary asked.
"You don't like it when I read your mind,
even by accident, so whatever it is,
you'll need to say it out loud."
Calliope took a deep breath
and then said all in a rush,
"Don't mess up my clothes.
Don't make fun of them.
Don't touch my undies.
Don't look at me naked."
"Agreed," Vagary said.
"Thank you for specifying.
It's a lot easier for me to follow
the rules if I know what they are.
I'm not very good at generalizing."
"Tell me about it," she muttered,
opening the stained-glass door
that led into her bedroom.
Vagary hid the stab of pain
as best he could and followed her.
Then he stopped and stared.
"What?" she snapped,
turning to glare at him.
"It's beautiful," Vagary said.
"I've only seen glimpses of
this room before. Wow."
The floor was hardwood with
a blue-and-gray rug under the bed.
The bed and matching trunk were blue,
the other furniture either gray or ivory.
The walls were ivory, and blue curtains
hung over the windows all the way to the floor.
The ceiling showed a spectacular skyscape
of pale blue tufted with candy-pink clouds
and dotted with gold-leaf stars. The center
of it held a chandelier on a long chain.
"Thanks, I guess," said Calliope.
Her walk-in closet wasn't huge,
but it was at least three times
the size of what Vagary once had
at Arcadia East -- plus Calliope had
a dresser and a big hall closet
to hold her coats and boots.
She started heaving things
onto the bed, and Vagary let her
do this part without meddling.
"One wardrobe or two?" he said
as he watched her working.
"What?" Calliope said,
her arms full of sweaters.
"Do you keep separate sets of
clothes for Calvin and Calliope,
or throw it all together?" he said.
She sighed, dropping the sweaters.
"I'm supposed to be trying new things,
and figuring out what I like or don't like,"
Calliope said. "My gender coach gives me
assignments to help sort it out. I started
with separate wardrobes, but that's a pain,
so it's all getting jumbled together now."
"Okay, so what do you want to do
about that?" Vagary said, waving at it.
"I don't know, it's all a hopeless mess."
Calliope looked downright miserable, and
her emotions were starting to leak.
"It doesn't look hopeless to me,"
he said. "Could I tell you what I see
as I look at the spread you have?"
"Might as well," Calliope said.
"It's not like you can make it worse."
Vagary looked at the heap of clothes.
She had thrown the feminine stuff
toward the head of the bed and
the masculine stuff at the foot.
"I can see a lot of pink and blue.
Your neutrals are gray and white.
You're not a big fan of black or brown.
You like patterns and love multicolors,
especially florals," Vagary said.
"The scarf," Calliope said as she
picked up the pink-and-blue one
that he had given her. "Did you
buy this with all of that in mind?"
"No, I bought it because I thought
you'd like it," Vagary said. "I did notice
what you wear, though. Look, that goes
with pretty much all your Calliope solids."
She moved it around, holding it over
various garments. "Huh. I guess it does."
"I can see you're choosing lighter colors
for warm weather and darker colors for
cool weather. That's common and will
make it easier to shop," Vagary said.
Her spring and summer clothes were
rosepetal, sky, and ash. Fall and winter
had more dusty rose, denim, and charcoal.
"Yeah, I like the seasonal changes," she said.
"Next, Calvin's stuff is darker overall,
again with bright colors in warm weather
and really deep ones in cool weather," he said.
"You also have more diversity in colors here,
but they all have matches. On the feminine side,
there are more standalones that don't match."
"Blame my gender coach," Calliope said.
"I've had the Calvin clothes longer, so I've had
time to build up a good set. The Calliope stuff
includes a lot of things that I was encouraged
to try just to see what worked or didn't."
"So start by ditching all the stuff you hate,"
Vagary said. "That's a gimmie, and it will
cut down what you have to handle later."
Calliope threw out most of the orange things,
some of the yellow, and reduced brown and black.
Then she slowed down and hesitated more.
Conflicting thoughts fizzed against each other,
even as Vagary tried to block them out.
"Okay, let's take another look," Vagary said.
"Sort out your dresses, because you don't
have to match top and bottom there."
She stacked up short ones in white and
pink, then a medium dress in dove gray.
There was the pink-and-blue party dress
and the glittering Peshawar dress, plus
a splendid red satin dress at ankle length.
"Looks like a good set," Vagary said.
"You really covered the bases in style."
"I don't know," Calliope said, hovering
over the red one. "This thing seems a bit ...
much. I only got it on assignment. I think it
was somebody's prom dress. I picked it up at
the thrift store. I should probably give it back."
It reminded him of the red robe that he
had inadvertently seen her in, once,
and he was so not going there.
"Well, how often do you wear that one?"
Vagary said. "If you don't like it, then
you can toss it on the outbound pile."
"Once," she admitted. "Well, once
outside the house. I've worn it more
than a few times just staying home."
"Maybe it's something you'll grow into,"
Vagary said. "Or you could just cover up
the bodice and make it a little softer --
you have that dressy ivory lace top."
Calliope draped it over the dress.
"Yeah, that would work," she said.
Then she dragged a black one out
from under a pile where it had been
buried. She wrinkled her nose.
"Toss it if you hate it," he prompted.
"Yeah, but 'little black dress' is on
all the checklists," Calliope said.
"So? There are a ton of ways
to make a capsule wardrobe, and all
of them are fussier than I like," Vagary said.
"Fussy how?" Calliope said. "I mean,
I've heard of the concept, but I haven't
seen examples that made much sense.
I love shopping at Basic Babe, though,
and Classique has some good stuff
even if it's a lot more expensive."
"Don't hesitate to spend more on
things you'll wear a lot," Vagary said.
Then he spent a few minutes describing
some of the things that he had learned
from Goddess Closet, like the Four By Four
and the Common Wardrobe. "If you loan me
your tablet computer, I can show examples."
Calliope did so, and Vagary pulled up
images of sample sets and then
worksheets for filling a capsule.
"This looks kind of complicated,"
Calliope said, her thoughts jittering.
"That's why I just rough it out," he said.
You don't like black, you don't wear much
of it, so why keep a dress just because
someone else thinks that you should?"
Calliope smiled as she threw it in the hamper.
"Thanks," she said. "I needed the push."
"Anything you hate from the guy side?"
Vagary asked, looking it over.
"The white elephant sweater," she said,
dragging out a red-and-green monstrosity.
Vagary grimaced. "How'd you get that?"
"White elephant gift exchange at work,"
Calliope said. "Austin brought it."
Her distaste spilled over too.
"Hamper," Vagary said firmly,
and Calliope threw it in. "Now
sort things into rough categories.
You might go summer and winter,
or dressy and casual, whatever.
Move them around if you need
to visualize different purposes."
Calliope shuffled things around.
She made a pile of printed t-shirts,
like her transgender flag top, along with
a whole stack of Calvin's plaid flannels.
"Should I whittle these down?"
she said, petting the soft plaids.
"How often do you wear them?"
Vagary asked her. "You need more
of the stuff you wear the most."
"All the time," she admitted.
"They're good at the craft store."
"Then keep them," Vagary said.
"Things you wear less often,
you probably just need one."
Calliope threw out duplicates
of some items, mostly darker ones
and a few more brights that didn't
go with the rest of her clothes.
The piles on the bed had shrunk
considerably from where they started.
"Okay, time to try things on," Vagary said.
"Chuck anything that doesn't fit or you
can't find plenty that matches with it."
Calliope froze. "But you're here."
"So change in the bathroom, or I
can go into the living room," he said.
"Yeah," she said, pushing him out
and locking the door behind him.
Vagary went into the living room
and flopped down on the couch.
He wished he could really relax, but
he never felt quite welcome here.
It did give him a good idea, though.
Soon she hollered for him to come back.
"Hey, I was thinking," Vagary said.
"You've got those nice spring greens
and yellows in the living room. Maybe
consider trying blouses in those colors,
but not right now, wait until spring."
"I'll think about it," Calliope said, shoving
castoffs from the bed into the hamper,
which was overflowing. "What else?"
"Well, look for anything missing,"
Vagary said. "You have plenty of
sweaters and cardigans for Calvin,
but not many outer layers for Calliope.
I'd say shop for a white cardigan
or gray blazer to add there."
"What about Calvin?" she said.
"The only thing I really see
missing there is a suit," he said.
"I hardly ever wear one," Calliope said.
"You told me I should concentrate
on stuff that I wear more often."
"I said that for duplicates," he replied.
"Guys need a suit for special occasions,
and it's a whole lot easier if you have one
than if you have to get one in a hurry.
You want to keep him, do it right."
"Point," Calliope admitted.
"You might want to take notes,"
Vagary said. "That will help you
keep on track for autumn shopping."
"Good idea," she said, then rummaged
in a nightstand for a pen and paper.
"White cardigan, gray blazer, suit."
"Maybe a multicolor cardigan or
poncho, since you love those, and
something similarly mixed for Calvin
that isn't plaid flannel," Vagary said.
Calliope made more notes. "Yeah,
those are good ideas," she said.
"Possibly a Christmas sweater
in blue and white instead of
that awful red and green?"
"Go for it," Vagary said.
"Silver would also work.
Think about what you wear."
"I wear whatever I want,
whenever I want. I don't even
think of it as cross-dressing
anymore," she said. "It's just
the way I dress these days."
This was not entirely true,
because Vagary had seen Cal
suit clothing to context, but it was
good to dress without worrying
too much about expectations.
Calliope fussed with the items
on the bed, discarding some,
moving others back and forth.
"Now look at the stuff in the middle,"
Vagary said. "Things like jeans,
both sexes wear those, so you
can probably share between
your two forms. Then there is
less need to duplicate them."
"No, they don't fit the same way,
and denim has no give," she said.
"Live and learn," Vagary said.
"What about other unisex items?
Sweaters, sweatshirts, t-shirts?"
"Calvin can't fit into the babydolls,
but unisex t-shirts fit the same on me
in both of my forms," Calliope said.
"Because cotton knit stretches,
right, that makes sense," Vagary said.
"Do you think I should buy more stuff
that's obviously trans?" Calliope said.
"It's up to you," Vagary said. "It would
play up your nature, but it might put
your secret identity at risk. I'd say ...
the spirit moves the body, so how
does the body move the spirit?
What feels right for you now?"
"I'm still learning that," she said.
"I want to play around with things
now that I've got them sorted out."
"I think if you stick to basics for sharing,
you'll be pretty safe because everyone
has stuff that looks like that. It's how
the Common Wardrobe got its name,"
Vagary said. "You can put those things in
the middle of the closet. Accents, anything
memorable, should go on the far ends for
either Calvin or Calliope, rather than both."
"Right," Calliope said. "My bedroom closet
has two sides and a back, so that's easy.
Coats and stuff go in the hall closet."
"Check with your gender coach, and
maybe some of your trans friends,"
Vagary said, second-guessing himself.
"I'm no expert on this. I'm just using
what I've learned helping friends pick
a cape costume or cut down a bunch
of clothes to fit inside a tiny closet."
"Yeah, but it worked," Calliope said,
the warmth of her regard reaching him.
"Now I can see what I have, and think
about what I want to buy this season."
She kicked the hamper. "And get rid
of the stuff I don't need anymore."
A whole wad of discards slumped
onto the floor, making her groan.
Sometimes it was easier to deal
with another person's problems
than with your own problems.
"Hundred bucks for the lot
sound fair?" Vagary asked as
he bent over to retrieve the strays.
"What?" Calliope said, staring at him.
"For the stuff you don't want," he said.
"I'm offering you a hundred dollars for it."
"Seriously?" she said. "I doubt I'd get
a quarter of that even on consignment,
and I was just going to drop it off at
the clothing bank or the thrift store.
Why would you even want this crap?
I don't think we're the same size."
Vagary sighed. "Cape work is
hard on clothes. Superpowers
in general are hard on clothes.
Scrambling out the back window
while someone breaks down
the front door is even worse."
"That's awful!" Calliope said.
"That's life as a supervillain,
or just a soup in the bad places,"
Vagary said. "We see a lot of folks
who show up with the clothes on
their backs -- sometimes not even
that much. So we keep spares."
"A supervillain clothing bank,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"Here, have it. I'll find you a box."
Vagary took out his wallet. "Thanks."
"You don't need to pay me," she said,
waving him off. "You really helped me
today. It would've taken a lot longer
if I had to do all this by myself."
"Take it anyway," Vagary urged.
"We make a point of being generous,
because just dealing with us raises
the risk for individuals and businesses."
Calliope gave him a long, considering look
and then took the money he was offering.
"I really appreciate the help," she said.
"We're not done yet," Vagary said.
"I'll help you to fold up or hang up
whatever things you're keeping."
"Thanks," she said. "It was nice
of you to volunteer for this."
Vagary just smiled. He had
often wished that someone would
help make his life less confusing.
That hadn't happened much,
but at least now he could
do it for someone else.
* * *
Notes:
"I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress."
-- Eddie Izzard
This is Tranquility Counseling Center. The little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. The nap room is located between the two bathrooms.
Cal's house is modest in size but beautifully decorated. The exterior has warm gray stone at the base with pinkish-gray siding above. The siding color is called "pigeon." Formerly owned by a municipal artist, the house has several stained glass windows and doors. See the first floor plan. This is Cal's bedroom door, bedroom, and ceiling. The walls in the living room are painted "desert peach." The chandelier has a stencil around it.
Telepathy requires careful attention to manners and ethics.
While sloppy guys are a stereotype, it remains true that most men don't care about fashion -- especially when compared to women. However, there are penalties if they don't conform to masculine clothing norms, just as people tend to look down on women who don't wear feminine clothes. Worth noting, of course, is that men's clothing is far more practical and comfortable than women's clothing, a fact noted by many transgender and crossdressing folks. All men need in order to understand fashion is an interest and for someone to put the bottom rungs on the ladder. That seems to have happened for Vagary at Arcadia East, and he's passing it on.
Building a good unisex wardrobe takes some thought, but actually makes a good core for anyone. Wardrobe essentials usually focus on women and men. Here are pictures of women's essentials. Here are images of men's essentials. There are a few suggestions for androgynous, genderfluid, and unisex basics too. Consider gender-neutral businesswear. This is much cheaper and simpler than trying to double your whole wardrobe, which is a serious issue for many gender-variant people. Few folks have the money and space for two separate wardrobes, so it really helps to have core items that can go with more gendered ones. Here are some tips for crossdress shopping. I also wrote some tips on choosing clothes for gender with an eye toward trans or genderqueer folks. A gender coach can greatly assist in this process -- but so can a friend with a good eye for clothes.
A capsule wardrobe is a set of clothes that work together. There are many ways to make one. Project 333 involves using a set of 33 items for 3 months. The 5-piece French wardrobe is actually a bit of a misnomer; it assumes you have a wardrobe full of basics to which you add 5 trendy items per season. The Common Wardrobe consists of things that almost everyone wears, which can be modulated into other colors such as this khaki and green set. The Whatever's Clean 13 is designed so that everything in it matches; compare these examples in warm and cool colors. The 4x4 Wardrobe uses a template to organize four sets of four. It's easy to build using one item as inspiration.
Calliope has a capsule wardrobe of classic neutrals in unisex / feminine menswear. Compare her pink and blue wardrobes for spring-summer and autumn-winter. This is her silk scarf from Vagary. Here is one of her transgender shirts. She wore this dress to the dance earlier. This is the Peshawar dress that Calliope found at Goddess Closet while accompanying Vagary to a moving-out party at Arcadia East. She thinks this red dress is a bit much.
Calvin's wardrobe is older and more cohesive. Compare his spring-summer and autumn-winter capsules. He got this hideous sweater in a white elephant gift exchange. He loves flannel shirts.
The Little Black Dress is universally recommended as a fashion essential that every woman must own. But what if you hate dresses, hate black, and/or look bad in one or both of those? Just wear something else. Consider a black pantsuit if you hate dresses, and a navy or gray dress if you hate black. Notice that Calliope already has a little gray dress for spring/summer. A little navy dress in winter wool would make a great addition.
Babydoll T-shirts are fitted to a woman's curvy shape, usually with cap sleeves and thin material. Unfortunately they work only on women with a pretty good hourglass figure but not too much -- it's really more of a misses style.
Basic Babe is a T-American store which sells staple clothing for women. They're good quality, mostly neutrals but some other colors, in simple styles that wear well over time. They carry things like underwear, jeans, t-shirts, athleisure wear, plain blouses, a few simple dresses, and jackets.
Classique is a T-American store which sells women's clothes in a classic style. They stock mostly basic items of high quality, prevailingly neutrals but also a good selection of accent colors and accessories. It's a great place to shop for scarves. They carry things like suits (pants and/or skirt), dress pants, skirts, nice blouses that wear well over time, dresses, and coats. Staff are trained to assist women, and they have several brands of body scanner.
People have many reasons for dressing up. Ideally, your clothes should express your personality. Here are some tips on developing your personal style.
There are many ways to dispose of or repurpose old clothes, so don't waste things. I generally rank clothes as follows: clothes good enough to wear out of the house, clothes with moderate wear that can be worn around the house, clothes with heavy wear for yardwork, and nonwearable clothes for the rag bag. The first category may be given away, donated, or sold. The middle two can be worn or upcycled in some ways, such as bags or quilts. Rags can be upcycled in different ways, such as rugs or stuffing, or used for disposable purposes.
crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from bairnsidhe. It also fills the "shapeshifter" square in my 11-1-16 card for the Fall Festival Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by the pool with ng_moonmoth and mama_kestrel. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series."Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want"
When Calliope and Vagary left
the Tranquility Counseling Center,
she turned to him and said, "Can we
skip the followup today, or at least
cut it short? I have a major project
waiting for me at home, so ..."
Vagary tried not to wilt too visibly,
because Calliope hated that. "I guess,
if you really need to go," he said.
"I just don't want to start this in
the afternoon and then be scrambling
to finish it before bed," Calliope said.
"Could I help?" Vagary offered.
"I know I've wasted a ton of your time.
Let me pay back a little of it. If I pitch in,
then you should get done sooner."
Calliope narrowed her eyes at him.
"You have to promise not to laugh."
"I can promise to try really hard
not to laugh," Vagary said. "I'm
not sure I can guarantee it. Why?"
"It's my wardrobe," Calliope said.
"My gender coach suggested that I
go through it, take out what I don't use,
and think about what to add for autumn."
"Sure, I can do that," Vagary said.
"I've done it plenty of times before."
"You have helped a trans or
genderqueer person sort clothes
plenty of times?" she said dubiously.
"Trans or genderqueer, a few times,"
Vagary said. "Soup friends, plenty.
Wardrobe refresh in general, lots."
"You're a guy," Calliope said.
"Most men don't care about this."
"They do when they move into
an apartment with a closet that's
two feet wide," Vagary said.
"Arcadia East apartments are
really small, Cal. So we help
newcomers figure out how to cope
with those wardrobe challenges."
"Huh. I seem to have underestimated
you," she said, looking bemused. " Again."
"Offer's still open," Vagary said. He
hoped she wouldn't kick him to the curb.
"Okay, let's give it a try," she said.
The drive to her place was a little tense,
but not unbearable. He'd been inside
her house before, after all ... just
not very often with an invitation.
When they got into the foyer,
Calliope hesitated, staring at him.
"What do you need?" Vagary asked.
"You don't like it when I read your mind,
even by accident, so whatever it is,
you'll need to say it out loud."
Calliope took a deep breath
and then said all in a rush,
"Don't mess up my clothes.
Don't make fun of them.
Don't touch my undies.
Don't look at me naked."
"Agreed," Vagary said.
"Thank you for specifying.
It's a lot easier for me to follow
the rules if I know what they are.
I'm not very good at generalizing."
"Tell me about it," she muttered,
opening the stained-glass door
that led into her bedroom.
Vagary hid the stab of pain
as best he could and followed her.
Then he stopped and stared.
"What?" she snapped,
turning to glare at him.
"It's beautiful," Vagary said.
"I've only seen glimpses of
this room before. Wow."
The floor was hardwood with
a blue-and-gray rug under the bed.
The bed and matching trunk were blue,
the other furniture either gray or ivory.
The walls were ivory, and blue curtains
hung over the windows all the way to the floor.
The ceiling showed a spectacular skyscape
of pale blue tufted with candy-pink clouds
and dotted with gold-leaf stars. The center
of it held a chandelier on a long chain.
"Thanks, I guess," said Calliope.
Her walk-in closet wasn't huge,
but it was at least three times
the size of what Vagary once had
at Arcadia East -- plus Calliope had
a dresser and a big hall closet
to hold her coats and boots.
She started heaving things
onto the bed, and Vagary let her
do this part without meddling.
"One wardrobe or two?" he said
as he watched her working.
"What?" Calliope said,
her arms full of sweaters.
"Do you keep separate sets of
clothes for Calvin and Calliope,
or throw it all together?" he said.
She sighed, dropping the sweaters.
"I'm supposed to be trying new things,
and figuring out what I like or don't like,"
Calliope said. "My gender coach gives me
assignments to help sort it out. I started
with separate wardrobes, but that's a pain,
so it's all getting jumbled together now."
"Okay, so what do you want to do
about that?" Vagary said, waving at it.
"I don't know, it's all a hopeless mess."
Calliope looked downright miserable, and
her emotions were starting to leak.
"It doesn't look hopeless to me,"
he said. "Could I tell you what I see
as I look at the spread you have?"
"Might as well," Calliope said.
"It's not like you can make it worse."
Vagary looked at the heap of clothes.
She had thrown the feminine stuff
toward the head of the bed and
the masculine stuff at the foot.
"I can see a lot of pink and blue.
Your neutrals are gray and white.
You're not a big fan of black or brown.
You like patterns and love multicolors,
especially florals," Vagary said.
"The scarf," Calliope said as she
picked up the pink-and-blue one
that he had given her. "Did you
buy this with all of that in mind?"
"No, I bought it because I thought
you'd like it," Vagary said. "I did notice
what you wear, though. Look, that goes
with pretty much all your Calliope solids."
She moved it around, holding it over
various garments. "Huh. I guess it does."
"I can see you're choosing lighter colors
for warm weather and darker colors for
cool weather. That's common and will
make it easier to shop," Vagary said.
Her spring and summer clothes were
rosepetal, sky, and ash. Fall and winter
had more dusty rose, denim, and charcoal.
"Yeah, I like the seasonal changes," she said.
"Next, Calvin's stuff is darker overall,
again with bright colors in warm weather
and really deep ones in cool weather," he said.
"You also have more diversity in colors here,
but they all have matches. On the feminine side,
there are more standalones that don't match."
"Blame my gender coach," Calliope said.
"I've had the Calvin clothes longer, so I've had
time to build up a good set. The Calliope stuff
includes a lot of things that I was encouraged
to try just to see what worked or didn't."
"So start by ditching all the stuff you hate,"
Vagary said. "That's a gimmie, and it will
cut down what you have to handle later."
Calliope threw out most of the orange things,
some of the yellow, and reduced brown and black.
Then she slowed down and hesitated more.
Conflicting thoughts fizzed against each other,
even as Vagary tried to block them out.
"Okay, let's take another look," Vagary said.
"Sort out your dresses, because you don't
have to match top and bottom there."
She stacked up short ones in white and
pink, then a medium dress in dove gray.
There was the pink-and-blue party dress
and the glittering Peshawar dress, plus
a splendid red satin dress at ankle length.
"Looks like a good set," Vagary said.
"You really covered the bases in style."
"I don't know," Calliope said, hovering
over the red one. "This thing seems a bit ...
much. I only got it on assignment. I think it
was somebody's prom dress. I picked it up at
the thrift store. I should probably give it back."
It reminded him of the red robe that he
had inadvertently seen her in, once,
and he was so not going there.
"Well, how often do you wear that one?"
Vagary said. "If you don't like it, then
you can toss it on the outbound pile."
"Once," she admitted. "Well, once
outside the house. I've worn it more
than a few times just staying home."
"Maybe it's something you'll grow into,"
Vagary said. "Or you could just cover up
the bodice and make it a little softer --
you have that dressy ivory lace top."
Calliope draped it over the dress.
"Yeah, that would work," she said.
Then she dragged a black one out
from under a pile where it had been
buried. She wrinkled her nose.
"Toss it if you hate it," he prompted.
"Yeah, but 'little black dress' is on
all the checklists," Calliope said.
"So? There are a ton of ways
to make a capsule wardrobe, and all
of them are fussier than I like," Vagary said.
"Fussy how?" Calliope said. "I mean,
I've heard of the concept, but I haven't
seen examples that made much sense.
I love shopping at Basic Babe, though,
and Classique has some good stuff
even if it's a lot more expensive."
"Don't hesitate to spend more on
things you'll wear a lot," Vagary said.
Then he spent a few minutes describing
some of the things that he had learned
from Goddess Closet, like the Four By Four
and the Common Wardrobe. "If you loan me
your tablet computer, I can show examples."
Calliope did so, and Vagary pulled up
images of sample sets and then
worksheets for filling a capsule.
"This looks kind of complicated,"
Calliope said, her thoughts jittering.
"That's why I just rough it out," he said.
You don't like black, you don't wear much
of it, so why keep a dress just because
someone else thinks that you should?"
Calliope smiled as she threw it in the hamper.
"Thanks," she said. "I needed the push."
"Anything you hate from the guy side?"
Vagary asked, looking it over.
"The white elephant sweater," she said,
dragging out a red-and-green monstrosity.
Vagary grimaced. "How'd you get that?"
"White elephant gift exchange at work,"
Calliope said. "Austin brought it."
Her distaste spilled over too.
"Hamper," Vagary said firmly,
and Calliope threw it in. "Now
sort things into rough categories.
You might go summer and winter,
or dressy and casual, whatever.
Move them around if you need
to visualize different purposes."
Calliope shuffled things around.
She made a pile of printed t-shirts,
like her transgender flag top, along with
a whole stack of Calvin's plaid flannels.
"Should I whittle these down?"
she said, petting the soft plaids.
"How often do you wear them?"
Vagary asked her. "You need more
of the stuff you wear the most."
"All the time," she admitted.
"They're good at the craft store."
"Then keep them," Vagary said.
"Things you wear less often,
you probably just need one."
Calliope threw out duplicates
of some items, mostly darker ones
and a few more brights that didn't
go with the rest of her clothes.
The piles on the bed had shrunk
considerably from where they started.
"Okay, time to try things on," Vagary said.
"Chuck anything that doesn't fit or you
can't find plenty that matches with it."
Calliope froze. "But you're here."
"So change in the bathroom, or I
can go into the living room," he said.
"Yeah," she said, pushing him out
and locking the door behind him.
Vagary went into the living room
and flopped down on the couch.
He wished he could really relax, but
he never felt quite welcome here.
It did give him a good idea, though.
Soon she hollered for him to come back.
"Hey, I was thinking," Vagary said.
"You've got those nice spring greens
and yellows in the living room. Maybe
consider trying blouses in those colors,
but not right now, wait until spring."
"I'll think about it," Calliope said, shoving
castoffs from the bed into the hamper,
which was overflowing. "What else?"
"Well, look for anything missing,"
Vagary said. "You have plenty of
sweaters and cardigans for Calvin,
but not many outer layers for Calliope.
I'd say shop for a white cardigan
or gray blazer to add there."
"What about Calvin?" she said.
"The only thing I really see
missing there is a suit," he said.
"I hardly ever wear one," Calliope said.
"You told me I should concentrate
on stuff that I wear more often."
"I said that for duplicates," he replied.
"Guys need a suit for special occasions,
and it's a whole lot easier if you have one
than if you have to get one in a hurry.
You want to keep him, do it right."
"Point," Calliope admitted.
"You might want to take notes,"
Vagary said. "That will help you
keep on track for autumn shopping."
"Good idea," she said, then rummaged
in a nightstand for a pen and paper.
"White cardigan, gray blazer, suit."
"Maybe a multicolor cardigan or
poncho, since you love those, and
something similarly mixed for Calvin
that isn't plaid flannel," Vagary said.
Calliope made more notes. "Yeah,
those are good ideas," she said.
"Possibly a Christmas sweater
in blue and white instead of
that awful red and green?"
"Go for it," Vagary said.
"Silver would also work.
Think about what you wear."
"I wear whatever I want,
whenever I want. I don't even
think of it as cross-dressing
anymore," she said. "It's just
the way I dress these days."
This was not entirely true,
because Vagary had seen Cal
suit clothing to context, but it was
good to dress without worrying
too much about expectations.
Calliope fussed with the items
on the bed, discarding some,
moving others back and forth.
"Now look at the stuff in the middle,"
Vagary said. "Things like jeans,
both sexes wear those, so you
can probably share between
your two forms. Then there is
less need to duplicate them."
"No, they don't fit the same way,
and denim has no give," she said.
"Live and learn," Vagary said.
"What about other unisex items?
Sweaters, sweatshirts, t-shirts?"
"Calvin can't fit into the babydolls,
but unisex t-shirts fit the same on me
in both of my forms," Calliope said.
"Because cotton knit stretches,
right, that makes sense," Vagary said.
"Do you think I should buy more stuff
that's obviously trans?" Calliope said.
"It's up to you," Vagary said. "It would
play up your nature, but it might put
your secret identity at risk. I'd say ...
the spirit moves the body, so how
does the body move the spirit?
What feels right for you now?"
"I'm still learning that," she said.
"I want to play around with things
now that I've got them sorted out."
"I think if you stick to basics for sharing,
you'll be pretty safe because everyone
has stuff that looks like that. It's how
the Common Wardrobe got its name,"
Vagary said. "You can put those things in
the middle of the closet. Accents, anything
memorable, should go on the far ends for
either Calvin or Calliope, rather than both."
"Right," Calliope said. "My bedroom closet
has two sides and a back, so that's easy.
Coats and stuff go in the hall closet."
"Check with your gender coach, and
maybe some of your trans friends,"
Vagary said, second-guessing himself.
"I'm no expert on this. I'm just using
what I've learned helping friends pick
a cape costume or cut down a bunch
of clothes to fit inside a tiny closet."
"Yeah, but it worked," Calliope said,
the warmth of her regard reaching him.
"Now I can see what I have, and think
about what I want to buy this season."
She kicked the hamper. "And get rid
of the stuff I don't need anymore."
A whole wad of discards slumped
onto the floor, making her groan.
Sometimes it was easier to deal
with another person's problems
than with your own problems.
"Hundred bucks for the lot
sound fair?" Vagary asked as
he bent over to retrieve the strays.
"What?" Calliope said, staring at him.
"For the stuff you don't want," he said.
"I'm offering you a hundred dollars for it."
"Seriously?" she said. "I doubt I'd get
a quarter of that even on consignment,
and I was just going to drop it off at
the clothing bank or the thrift store.
Why would you even want this crap?
I don't think we're the same size."
Vagary sighed. "Cape work is
hard on clothes. Superpowers
in general are hard on clothes.
Scrambling out the back window
while someone breaks down
the front door is even worse."
"That's awful!" Calliope said.
"That's life as a supervillain,
or just a soup in the bad places,"
Vagary said. "We see a lot of folks
who show up with the clothes on
their backs -- sometimes not even
that much. So we keep spares."
"A supervillain clothing bank,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"Here, have it. I'll find you a box."
Vagary took out his wallet. "Thanks."
"You don't need to pay me," she said,
waving him off. "You really helped me
today. It would've taken a lot longer
if I had to do all this by myself."
"Take it anyway," Vagary urged.
"We make a point of being generous,
because just dealing with us raises
the risk for individuals and businesses."
Calliope gave him a long, considering look
and then took the money he was offering.
"I really appreciate the help," she said.
"We're not done yet," Vagary said.
"I'll help you to fold up or hang up
whatever things you're keeping."
"Thanks," she said. "It was nice
of you to volunteer for this."
Vagary just smiled. He had
often wished that someone would
help make his life less confusing.
That hadn't happened much,
but at least now he could
do it for someone else.
* * *
Notes:
"I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress."
-- Eddie Izzard
This is Tranquility Counseling Center. The little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. The nap room is located between the two bathrooms.
Cal's house is modest in size but beautifully decorated. The exterior has warm gray stone at the base with pinkish-gray siding above. The siding color is called "pigeon." Formerly owned by a municipal artist, the house has several stained glass windows and doors. See the first floor plan. This is Cal's bedroom door, bedroom, and ceiling. The walls in the living room are painted "desert peach." The chandelier has a stencil around it.
Telepathy requires careful attention to manners and ethics.
While sloppy guys are a stereotype, it remains true that most men don't care about fashion -- especially when compared to women. However, there are penalties if they don't conform to masculine clothing norms, just as people tend to look down on women who don't wear feminine clothes. Worth noting, of course, is that men's clothing is far more practical and comfortable than women's clothing, a fact noted by many transgender and crossdressing folks. All men need in order to understand fashion is an interest and for someone to put the bottom rungs on the ladder. That seems to have happened for Vagary at Arcadia East, and he's passing it on.
Building a good unisex wardrobe takes some thought, but actually makes a good core for anyone. Wardrobe essentials usually focus on women and men. Here are pictures of women's essentials. Here are images of men's essentials. There are a few suggestions for androgynous, genderfluid, and unisex basics too. Consider gender-neutral businesswear. This is much cheaper and simpler than trying to double your whole wardrobe, which is a serious issue for many gender-variant people. Few folks have the money and space for two separate wardrobes, so it really helps to have core items that can go with more gendered ones. Here are some tips for crossdress shopping. I also wrote some tips on choosing clothes for gender with an eye toward trans or genderqueer folks. A gender coach can greatly assist in this process -- but so can a friend with a good eye for clothes.
A capsule wardrobe is a set of clothes that work together. There are many ways to make one. Project 333 involves using a set of 33 items for 3 months. The 5-piece French wardrobe is actually a bit of a misnomer; it assumes you have a wardrobe full of basics to which you add 5 trendy items per season. The Common Wardrobe consists of things that almost everyone wears, which can be modulated into other colors such as this khaki and green set. The Whatever's Clean 13 is designed so that everything in it matches; compare these examples in warm and cool colors. The 4x4 Wardrobe uses a template to organize four sets of four. It's easy to build using one item as inspiration.
Calliope has a capsule wardrobe of classic neutrals in unisex / feminine menswear. Compare her pink and blue wardrobes for spring-summer and autumn-winter. This is her silk scarf from Vagary. Here is one of her transgender shirts. She wore this dress to the dance earlier. This is the Peshawar dress that Calliope found at Goddess Closet while accompanying Vagary to a moving-out party at Arcadia East. She thinks this red dress is a bit much.
Calvin's wardrobe is older and more cohesive. Compare his spring-summer and autumn-winter capsules. He got this hideous sweater in a white elephant gift exchange. He loves flannel shirts.
The Little Black Dress is universally recommended as a fashion essential that every woman must own. But what if you hate dresses, hate black, and/or look bad in one or both of those? Just wear something else. Consider a black pantsuit if you hate dresses, and a navy or gray dress if you hate black. Notice that Calliope already has a little gray dress for spring/summer. A little navy dress in winter wool would make a great addition.
Babydoll T-shirts are fitted to a woman's curvy shape, usually with cap sleeves and thin material. Unfortunately they work only on women with a pretty good hourglass figure but not too much -- it's really more of a misses style.
Basic Babe is a T-American store which sells staple clothing for women. They're good quality, mostly neutrals but some other colors, in simple styles that wear well over time. They carry things like underwear, jeans, t-shirts, athleisure wear, plain blouses, a few simple dresses, and jackets.
Classique is a T-American store which sells women's clothes in a classic style. They stock mostly basic items of high quality, prevailingly neutrals but also a good selection of accent colors and accessories. It's a great place to shop for scarves. They carry things like suits (pants and/or skirt), dress pants, skirts, nice blouses that wear well over time, dresses, and coats. Staff are trained to assist women, and they have several brands of body scanner.
People have many reasons for dressing up. Ideally, your clothes should express your personality. Here are some tips on developing your personal style.
There are many ways to dispose of or repurpose old clothes, so don't waste things. I generally rank clothes as follows: clothes good enough to wear out of the house, clothes with moderate wear that can be worn around the house, clothes with heavy wear for yardwork, and nonwearable clothes for the rag bag. The first category may be given away, donated, or sold. The middle two can be worn or upcycled in some ways, such as bags or quilts. Rags can be upcycled in different ways, such as rugs or stuffing, or used for disposable purposes.
Your markup is broken
Re: Your markup is broken
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And Vagary is REALLY getting good at this.
Re: Your markup is broken
Yeah, Vagary has been level-grinding like mad for, hmm, must be several months by now. He's making progress.
Vagary's help?
Seriously, the last time I asked a female friend for help updating my wardrobe (post childbirth, when there is no denying that gravity is a vicious, unforgiving taskmaster)--- it broke the friendship, and it took another five years to weed out all the too-bloody-girly clothes I was arm-twisted into buying.
I know Cal/Calliope has legitimate issues with Vagary, but if someone does NOT give him credit for the wonderful job he did here, that actually turns a skill into a negative. The thing is, I think it would be best reinforced by a third party, because the main relationship is so fraught.
Re: Vagary's help?
I have no objections. :D I can do something similar myself, though, which is why I had so much fun writing this.
>> Seriously, the last time I asked a female friend for help updating my wardrobe (post childbirth, when there is no denying that gravity is a vicious, unforgiving taskmaster)--- it broke the friendship, and it took another five years to weed out all the too-bloody-girly clothes I was arm-twisted into buying. <<
O_O That sucks. That is not at all how it's supposed to work.
* Identify your favorite colors. Ideally, you should have 1-2 neutrals and 1-2 accent colors for a good mix, more if you wish.
* If you're good with colors, look at some of the fashion guides for what colors you should wear and make some choices. If you're not good at this, there are people you can pay to do your colors for you, but they might not always agree with each other.
* Think about what kind of garments you like in general. Jeans, t-shirts, dresses, cardigans, suits, etc. If there's something you dislike, don't wear it, and get rid of anything like that you already have.
* Lay out your favorite clothes and examine them. What do you love about them? Color, material, cut, message? Especially, look for anything that repeats over multiple favorites; you'll want to expand on that.
* Are there any problems in your wardrobe? Swaths of things that don't fit like they used to, gaps where you have little or nothing in a category, changes in your body that need accommodation? If so, you'll need to address these.
* Think about the range of things you have. Most people want warm-cold, casual-dressy, and maybe some other spectrum.
* Consider how well your clothes express your personality. Part of this depends on you being comfortable in them, but part is about how people think they suit you.
* How do you look in your clothes? Do the colors and styles flatter you? How do they go with each other? This is where it really helps to have a friend with a good eye. They should not be telling you what to wear but rather should be able to point out pros or cons. "You don't have much that matches this." "I think a drop waist makes you look more elegant." "That blue really brings out your eyes." "Erm. Not the best shade of orange on you, it's making your skin look pasty." "As much as you're cold, have you tried wearing a shawl?"
* Consider your clothes together. Vagary's idea of thinking in capsules is apt. See if you can put together whichever capsule pattern you like best out of things you already own and enjoy. If you're missing a piece or two, you can fill in.
* If your body/life has changed, or you want to change your wardrobe, experiment. Go to a department store or thrift store and just try on a bunch of stuff. Try things you don't usually wear to see if they work for you now. Some department stores have good help for this and others are just pushy. 0_o
* Look at outfits or capsules online. There are just hundreds of samples. Type in "outfit" or "capsule wardrobe" and things like your favorite color, season, occupation, age, style, whatever. Print out a few favorites and shop to see if you can duplicate them.
* There are several "challenge" capsules where you take a subset of your current clothes and wear them for a while to see what happens. Maybe you discover that you get tired of jeans or you prefer black to gray.
I hope this helps. If there's anything I can do long-distance, let me know. I don't care what you wind up wearing, and I'm not actually a girl. I'd just like you to be happy in your clothes.
Re: Vagary's help?
So much this.
>> but if someone does NOT give him credit for the wonderful job he did here, that actually turns a skill into a negative. <<
Possibly. There's kind of a weird split though.
On the one hand, Vagary doesn't think much about how momentous this kind of thing can be. Arcadia East apartments are so small that people who were not literally showing up with all their goods in one bag would have to cut down their clothes to fit in the space. Do this kind of kibbitzing often enough -- especially with transfolk -- and it turns into the water that fish don't see.
On the other hand, I suspect he counts "didn't get screamed at or punched in the face" as a success. Calliope may have been awkward with the thanks, but at least some of it got through.
On the third hand, they don't communicate well even when they're trying. I think part of that is how much effort they put into shielding so they're not in each other's heads all the time, but part is just plain spillover from the mixed feelings. Calliope may say "come in" but Vagary can't escape the sense that she doesn't really want him in her space. It's awkward.
>> The thing is, I think it would be best reinforced by a third party, because the main relationship is so fraught. <<
That's possible. One of their friends is an artist, he might notice. Or anyone they talk to about the activity, although I'm not sure who they'd tell other than their therapist.
no subject
Thank you!
Yay! The newest one shows him in combat, by the way.
>> The more we see of him, the more he's nothing quite like Calli expects... and that is awesome. ^_^ Challenging her beliefs and outlooks (and his, and by extension the reader's) is great.<<
:D I'm glad you're enjoying this aspect of their relationship. They're always surprising each other.