ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
ysabetwordsmith ([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith) wrote2010-11-24 02:27 pm

Books for Happy Holidays

I thought it might be useful to recommend a few books on people skills, in the interest of making the holidays actually happy.  If you don't need them yourself, consider them as potential gifts for someone who does.

When Holidays Are Hell: A Guide to Surviving Family Gatherings
Explains how to protect yourself while dealing with fractious or toxic relatives and dysfunctional family dynamics.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
Details how hostile language works and how to defuse it safely; useful not just for deflecting attacks on yourself, but for making sure that you speak nicely with others.

The Grandmother Principles
Description of healthy family dynamics with advice tailored to a grandmother's role.  Some of the principles work only for grandmothers; many can be applied by older people in general, and some by anyone.  Every grandmother should be given a copy of this book along with her first grandchild.  While not all holiday-focused, there are some excellent tips on making holidays happy.

Regrettably, one of my best books got snitched a few years back, and now I can't find any reference to it online.  That was Johnson's Guide to Emotional First Aid and it included practical tips for raising positive emotions and lowering negative ones.  If anyone has the complete title/author/publication details for that, please let me know so I can refine my search.
Johnson's Emotional First Aid: How to Increase Your Happiness, Peace, and Joy by Victoria L. Saunders Johnson. Blue Dolphin Publishing, 1997.
Tricky to track down online, hence the extra detail. Offers practical tips for raising positive emotions and lowering negative ones.

Holiday Blues: Rediscovering the Art of Celebration; A 12-Month Guide to Getting Everything You Want Out of Holidays and Family Gatherings
I haven't read this one, but it popped up while I was looking up the others and seems quite promising.

Finally, pick any book on cooking with kids if your holiday gathering includes some.  Cooking and eating together is a wonderful way to strengthen family ties.  It helps to have tips that will make the learning process more fun and less stressful.  Learning early how to cook and enjoy teamwork is a valuable life skill.

[identity profile] msstacy13.livejournal.com 2010-11-24 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I just want to make clear that when you say
"cooking with children"
you're not talking about the ingredients...

[identity profile] judifilksign.livejournal.com 2010-11-25 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
There is a sequel to the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, too. Both books are wonderful. I think the sequel is More on the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.

[identity profile] hafoc.livejournal.com 2010-11-25 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
I have to protest, again, against The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. It assumes women are always the victims and men always the attackers. For reasons I dare not say even now, I grew up knowing this was not true.

But what words did it have for men who were oppressed, not opressors? That we were actually the oppressors, we just didn't know it. We should struggle to be more sensitive so that some day we might realize just how horrible and despicable we really were.