ysabetwordsmith | Gender-Neutral: Ur Doin It Rong

AB-1084: Gender Neutral Retail in California

Beginning January 1, 2024, large department stores in California must maintain gender neutral displays of toys and other items for children.

'Full Stasi': Consumers told to snitch on stores that don't have enough 'gender-neutral' toys

"If you do not see an adequate gender-neutral product section in a large retail department store in California that you believe is covered by this law, you may take pictures, document, and file a complaint with our office."

A link is provided to report offenders.

The fine for a first-time violation is $250, which goes to $500 for a second offense.

This is the kind of nonsense that makes people think laws are stupid, and hate feminists or gender-diverse people. Because the law is stupid, abusive, and ruinous to a functional society.

Having gender-neutral toys and materials is great. Many traditional toys (e.g. blocks, marbles, Legos, board games) are gender-neutral unless someone goes out of their way to gender-code them (which many companies do). Things like clothes and plates should be available in neutral colors, solid or with simple patterns (e.g. stripes, dots), as well as gender-coded things that are pink/blue with gender-stereotypical designs on them. Choice is good.

Forcing your choices on other people is not good. It's especially harsh on retailers in a massively sexist society where many companies cender-code everything, and things genuinely designed as gender-neutral are harder to find and often more expensive. Even for adults it's not particularly easy. T-shirts used to be all unisex but modern ones are often gendered -- and in fact, so badly that feminine versions only tend to fit teens. There's rarely enough room in a women's T-shirt for adult boobs. :/

Plus of course, adding a gender-neutral category strongly reinforces the idea that the gendered aisles contain things ONLY for boys or for girls. Children can already get really rigid about that, and this will make it worse.

Another serious problem is the law doesn't define "enough." It doesn't say "at least one storage unit (e.g. a shelf or a bin)," or "at least 10% of the gendered supply." It's deliberately vague, which means anyone can complain that any amount is "not enough."

The most effective way to avoid getting fined, therefore, is to quit selling children's things altogether. Note that the law requires a separate section for gender-neutral meaning you can't just say "all toys are for anyone who wants them." Besides, parents and kids both hate that; it's been tried and the only consumers who like it are the ones who are trying to de-gender everything, which is better served by a specialty store since it's a very minority taste in this culture. Plus it's more work and more expense, precisely because it's unpopular. Manufacturers overgender stuff because people buy it.

You want gender-neutral stuff? That's great. Shop accordingly. But don't use it to bully other people. And maybe don't shop from California.
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Waldorf toys are generally made for all children, and sorted by age or category (e.g. blocks, stuffed animals) rather than gender. Same with Montessori toys.

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I played with a lot of plastic animals and wooden blocks growing up, so I was lucky enough to not have to deal with gendered toys, but this is ridiculous.

First off, this looks like a law that will disproportionately affect the poor.
The places that split harshest into BOY toys and GIRL toys are Target and CVS, not boutiques.
The toy stores that are somewhat, or even largely gender-neutral are far more expensive (likely assuming that the people buying are rich enough to consider gender-neutrality a selling point).
Alternately, you can buy gender-neutral toys via an educational toy voucher -- which you would likely only get if you have the time, energy, space, etc. to commit to homeschooling.

>> I played with a lot of plastic animals and wooden blocks growing up, <<

Yeah, me too. Legos, Lincoln Logs, various blocks, and plastic farm animals were my favorites. I had a few dolls, a fair bit of science toys, some stuffed animals, and a ton of books.

>> so I was lucky enough to not have to deal with gendered toys,<<

It wasn't luck. My hippie parents ransacked every museum, zoo, and other cultural exhibit across several states to find culturally diverse, science and nature oriented, nongendered toys and books for me. At the time it was hard to find the cultural mix, but at least it was before the worst of the gendercoding.

>> but this is ridiculous.<<

Yeah. This shit makes matters worse.

>>First off, this looks like a law that will disproportionately affect the poor.
The places that split harshest into BOY toys and GIRL toys are Target and CVS, not boutiques.<<

Exactly.

>> The toy stores that are somewhat, or even largely gender-neutral are far more expensive (likely assuming that the people buying are rich enough to consider gender-neutrality a selling point).<<

You can pretty much add at least one zero.

>>Alternately, you can buy gender-neutral toys via an educational toy voucher -- which you would likely only get if you have the time, energy, space, etc. to commit to homeschooling.<<

I agree that educational toys are often the best, hence linking Waldorf and Montessori ones.

On the other hoof, poor kids have a different advantage, which is learning to make their own toys and games. I played with sticks and rocks a lot. So as an adult, I know how to go find a stick that will make good craft materials; one of my window dangles uses a great piece of what's basically terrestrial driftwood. :D

There used to be this massive toy store in St. Louis called Children's Palace. There were a few aisles for toys that were designed for girls or boys. But there were also other categories -- sections for stuffed animals, science toys, furniture like playhouses, construction toys, all the dressup stuff was together, so was all the under-3 baby stuff, and so on. Even combined, the gender aisles weren't all that much, maybe a quarter of the store at most.

>>On the other hoof, poor kids have a different advantage, which is learning to make their own toys and games. I played with sticks and rocks a lot. So as an adult, I know how to go find a stick that will make good craft materials; one of my window dangles uses a great piece of what's basically terrestrial driftwood. :D

That is something I was accustomed to, although as a homeschooled lower-middle-class child, rather than a poor one. The more tech slides into the sea, the more grateful I am that I had that opportunity to learn during my formative years.

>> The more tech slides into the sea, the more grateful I am that I had that opportunity to learn during my formative years.<<

Oh yeah. I've always had a love of historic tools and techniques. I rely on them more and more as technology moves out of what I can use comfortably.

If I wanted to encourage genderfree products? I'd use a carrot, not a stick.

* Establish grants for startup businesses that plan to make genderfree products. Ideally, provide mentors and networking too.

* For department stores choosing to set a gender-neutral section, offer a subsidy to reduce the cost of expensive educational toys that are not gendered. And hey, connect the new businesses with the dapartment stores!

* When allocating spaces (e.g. in a flea market or street fair) give priority locations to booths selling genderfree products, and relegate the gendered stuff to less-prime territory. It's still there if you really want it. Just like you should put the booths selling fruit smoothies, shakeups, walking salads, and barbecue at the center cross but the sodas and funnel cakes in lower-traffic areas.

It's the kind of thing Terramagne-America would do, because they're more gender-inclusive than here, and also smarter. Feel free to prompt for it if you wish. Though I have to admit, my favorite brand is probably Tomboy Sawyer, which is a company that makes sturdy play clothes for tomboys (or boys, or other genders, but the tomboys are the target market).

Thrift stores and hand-me-downs will likely be less affected, unless someone is being really nitpicky.

Edited (Just as an alternative to conventional retail. (though they may not have enough supply...)) 2024-12-11 20:08 (UTC)

That's true. I can't recall ever seeing a thrift store separate toys or even clothes for children by gender. They usually do for adults, but unisex things like T-shirts tend to get thrown together.

Hand-me-downs are more influenced by children and adults. In fact, families that rely heavily on them tend to prefer buying clothes that with little or no distinction, so they'll buy neutral or nongendered colors and avoid splashy decorations that another child might reject. This makes a good environment for nicer clothes as gifts, when a child can pick out something special like a colorful sweater or character T-shirt.

I'm not sure if I've ever seen that, but if so then it would probably be only the largest ones that could afford it (and more likely with clothes).

I /have/ seen a gender-segregated clothing giveaway charity (toys were mixed together.) For what it's worth, that was in a liberal area in a conservative state. The clothes were also sorted by size (and overall their system was very well organized.)

>>Hand-me-downs are more influenced by children and adults. In fact, families that rely heavily on them tend to prefer buying clothes that with little or no distinction, so they'll buy neutral or nongendered colors and avoid splashy decorations that another child might reject. <<

Well, also keep in mind areas where families will donate or otherwise pass along kid stuff outside of the family. That might have less strict limits on gender, decor, etc, because there will be a wider pool of possible recipients.

I've occasionally been a sort of 'broker' [though unpaid] where someone is tossing/donating something (kid things or otherwise) and I will ask for it to pass along to someone else who might like it. If you know families with kids who move in different social environments, it can be fairly easy to do with kid stuff.

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