ysabetwordsmith: (Fly Free)
ysabetwordsmith ([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith) wrote2019-07-31 05:35 pm

Poem: "What It Means to Me"

This poem is spillover from the July 16, 2019 Poetry Fishbowl. It is the second freebie thanks to new prompter [personal profile] lilliane and two Anonymous prompters. It also fills the "Winter Soldier" square in my 7-1-19 card for the Winterfest in July Bingo. This poem belongs to the series Love Is For Children.


"What It Means to Me"


The future is confusing and unfamiliar.

There is so much that Bucky has forgotten,
so much that has changed beyond recognition.

There are things he used to have that he
hasn't had in so long that now he doesn't
even know them when he sees them,
can't recall what they used to mean.

He tries to hide it. Of course he does.

Steve makes the worried face
whenever Bucky can't remember.

So Bucky gives vague replies
and tries to spackle over
the gaping holes in his mind.

There's another look, though,
that isn't pity or regret, and
Bucky can't pin it down.

He sees it in the strangest places,
not just the physical therapy room
or the gym when he's pushing hard,
but sometimes in the common room too,
or even from total strangers on the street.

People look at him, give him a little nod and
a smile, then go back to what they were doing.

It's strange, and Bucky doesn't understand it.
He doesn't know why people are looking at him
like this, what he's done to deserve it.

He doesn't know why it gives him
a funny flutter in his stomach, and
he's not sure if he likes it or not.

But it's there. It's there, and he
keeps seeing it everywhere.

Bucky doesn't understand it
until he walks in on Betty with
her hair up in a do-rag, dancing
across the wet kitchen floor and
singing to the mop as she cleans,
while JARVIS croons the backup.

The words take his breath away.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB


Bucky clutches the door
with his flesh hand so that he
doesn't fall over or break anything.

Oh. Oh. So that's what it is!
That's the look he's been
seeing on people's faces.

It's respect.

He hasn't seen it
in so long that he'd
forgotten what it
even looked like,
what it meant to him.

Forgotten that
people need it like
they need air or water.

Forgotten that it feels like
sunshine and Steve's smile,
warm and complete.

Betty doesn't coddle him.

Betty grins and tosses him
another mop and says, "Come on,
soldier, show me what you got!"

Bucky catches the mop.
He sucks in a deep breath
of something as needful as air.

He learns that he still remembers
how to dance, how to mop a floor ...

how to learn a new tune.

* * *

Notes:

Alexithymia is difficulty identifying emotions in self and/or others. Emotional agnosia is difficulty interpreting body language, voice tone, and other clues to derive information about feelings. These limitations make social life much more challenging. Many people with traumatic brain injury, or other neurological problems, suffer from some such impairment. Learn how to cope with fogged emotions and post-TBI issues.

Respect is a need. Here are some ways to show respect.

"Respect" is a song Otis Redding, but the version most people know came from Aretha Franklin.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB


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readera: a cup of tea with an open book behind it (Default)

[personal profile] readera 2019-08-01 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
❤❤
I esp love Jarvis & Betty's duet!
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)

Re: Thank you!

[personal profile] siliconshaman 2019-08-01 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
Cue JARVIS discovering he likes singing I think...

Hey, you know there are Karaoke bars on the internet, right? Places like VR chat have them... and since everyone there uses an avatar, no-one would know JARVIS is any different.

Think about it a moment, he could mix & mingle with humans, and they'd have no reason to think he wasn't one of them, which perversely means he could just be himself. [speaking from experience, personality quirks are more the norm.]
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)

[personal profile] thnidu 2019-08-01 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah!

But I never got all the words. What's TCB? Take Care, Baby? (https://www.acronymfinder.com/Slang/TCB.html)
acelightning: crescent Moon above fluffy clouds in dark purple sky (above clouds)

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-01 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
Takin' Care of Business!
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Take care of TCB!"

Edited 2019-08-01 02:49 (UTC)
acelightning: shiny purple brain (brain)

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-01 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
I'm getting a little of this too - maybe it's because I walk with a cane, but it seems as if I'm being recognized as a Crone as well. It does feel strange, like "There must be somebody important standing behind me..."
acelightning: photo of me (mugshot)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-01 09:07 am (UTC)(link)
That's what my late High Priestess used to call "a bad case of the 'who-me?'s'"

I have a walking stick, more of a sorceress' staff, that I made a long time ago, when a small birch tree on the edge of the yard where I was living got snapped off by an ice storm. The broken piece was just exactly as long as I was tall. At the moment a staff wouldn't be terribly useful to support me and help me balance, not the way an ordinary cane is. But when I get more of my physical abilities back, I may switch to the staff, just for the presentation ;-)

siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] siliconshaman 2019-08-01 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
You really should... I think all those generations when a staff was a symbol of knowledge or authority have kinda encoded it into people's DNA.
acelightning: jacob's-ladder and fuming Erlenmeyer flask - "weird science" (weird)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-02 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
I used to have it rigged with a big huge amethyst on top, with a light hidden in it, and an also hidden switch in the grip area. I probably ought to undo that.
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] siliconshaman 2019-08-02 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
*grin*

You know you can get little capsules of tritiated phosphor stuff, 'glow' capsules for key rings and the like.. Granted, that would mean the light is always on, just not visible in daylight.. but you got yourself a teeny-tiny little powersource for whatever spell construct you put there.
acelightning: the international symbol for radiation, in original colors (magenta/yellow) (radiation)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-03 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think I could make a spell construct that would run on tritium. I'm not especially fond of radioactive materials.
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] siliconshaman 2019-08-03 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
Ah but there's the thing.. tritium is a primarily a beta emitter... and beta particles are just electrons in a hurry...
acelightning: the international symbol for radiation, in original colors (magenta/yellow) (radiation)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-03 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
I was irradiated with beta rays, and I got radiation burns from it. (And apparently a lot of my current physical problems are the long-term after-effects of that radiation.)
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] siliconshaman 2019-08-03 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
Ah.. point! I guess that would cause you to be a bit leery..

Hmm...if I built a betavoltaic generator, could you use that?
acelightning: lightning bolt in a blue-purple sky, the word 'lightning' flashing (lightning)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-03 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
Well, the original design used a battery :-(
Edited 2019-08-03 10:18 (UTC)
zeeth_kyrah: A glowing white and blue anthropomorphic horse stands before a pink and blue sky. (Default)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] zeeth_kyrah 2019-08-06 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Shield a buffer ward on it, and that'll balance the I/O stream and prevent burns.
acelightning: magick wand leaves a trail of silvery stars (magick)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-06 09:03 am (UTC)(link)
I think it would be simpler for me to find some other source of power. (I can shield if I have to, but I've never been very good at it.)
acelightning: cartoon me in workshop with assorted tools (gearhead)

Re: Thoughts

[personal profile] acelightning 2019-08-02 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
I probably ought to remove the special effects.
iamnotgod: Many lines curving off into the distance and entangling, shaded in colors from yellow to purple (Default)

Awww!

[personal profile] iamnotgod 2019-08-01 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Such cute visuals - and for Bucky, I'd say respect is better than pity any day.