ysabetwordsmith | Poem: "Hand and Heart, Hook and Yarn"

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Poem: "Hand and Heart, Hook and Yarn"

This poem is from the January 6, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from

technoshaman. It also fills the "choosing a gift" square in my 12-30-14 card for the Rites of Passage fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Damask & Farce storyline of the series Polychrome Heroics.

"Hand and Heart, Hook and Yarn"

Clement

The blustery spring weather has
brought a lot of dust indoors,
and as soon as the wind settles,
Mallory snags the "dusting" task
off the household chore board.

I hadn't expected her to be so diligent
about doing her share of the housework --
or more than her fair share, even --
but that's usually one of the first things
she does whenever she has the energy to get up.

Earning her keep, she's said, more than once,
and I'm starting to worry about what kind
of background she's had to think like that.
I don't believe she sees it quite the same
way as the rest of us do.

The light work goes fine until
the dust kicks up enough to make
Mallory start wheezing.

I pry the microfiber duster away from her
and make her sit down on the couch.

"Let me help?" I ask, and she nods.
Nobody else is in the room, so all
I have to do is slip my hands under
her shirt to soothe the irritation.

It doesn't take long, because
we caught it soon this time.

"You should sit and rest," I suggest,
feeling the exhaustion in the wake of
her brief burst of energy. This baby
is taking a lot out of Mallory already.

She gives me a weary nod and
slumps further into the cushions.

Mira

When Paige comes downstairs,
Mallory perks up a little bit.
Paige is so sweet, everyone likes her.

"Hey," Mallory says softly.
"Got your homework done?
Danielle is making that
lamb and rice thingie again,
since Josephine's out tonight."

The dish is a household favorite
for carnivore nights, and I can
smell its sweet, mild fragrance
already wafting out of the kitchen.

"Greek pilaf? Yay!" says Paige.
"Yes, I'm done with the paper.
I came down to do some
fibercrafting before supper."
She pulls out the big wicker basket
where she keeps her craft supplies.

"I'm amazed by all the things
you can do with yarn," Mallory says.

Paige smiles. "It just takes a little practice,"
she says. "Listen, I know this is your
first sharehouse and all, so you don't
really know how to cope with everything,
but you've been working so hard ...
I wanted to make you something."

She holds out a tiny pair of booties,
crocheted from a rainbow of colors
in bright, precise lines.

Mallory takes them with trembling hands,
tracing a fingertip over the purple bows.
"I haven't even decided whether
to raise ..." her voice trails off.

"... the little stranger?" Paige says
She shrugs. "That's okay.
It's a big decision; you should
take your time. If you decide not to,
well, you know all those other girls
in the baby class -- I'm sure that any
of them would be thrilled with booties."

The baby class has been a mixed blessing,
sometimes getting Mallory all wound up
but mostly making her less panicky
as she realizes that she can learn
the parenting skills that she's missing.

"Yeah, some of them," Mallory says.
"A lot of the girls are choosing adoption
but others already plan to keep theirs."
She twirls the booties around, then sighs.
"I wish I could do things like this."

"You could learn. I'd be happy to teach you,"
Paige says. "It's just daisy stitch, it's real easy."

"I don't know," Mallory says,
"I'm trying but ... it's kind of hard to connect."

Everyone figured out pretty quick that
she's pregnant, but so far she hasn't
told anyone else how she got that way.

I watch Mallory's expression as
Paige brings out a crochet hook
along with a hank of soft yarn
variegated in pastel shades of
white, pink, yellow, and blue.

"My grandmother says that love
isn't something that just happens,"
Paige explains. "It's something
that you make, hand and heart,
hook and yarn. It doesn't even
look like much at first, but then
one day it all comes together."

She pokes the crochet hook through
the yarn, then lays both of them
on Mallory's still-flat tummy.
"So if you want to love that baby,
you're going to have to work at it."

"Okay," Mallory says. "I'll try."

I'm good at crafts, but I have
scarcely had time for any of them
since Maisie died. "Paige, do you
have another crochet hook and
some yarn to spare?" I ask.

"Here," says Paige as she
passes them over to me.
"The particolor was on sale
so I bought a bunch of it.
Do you need a pattern?"

Memory flitters to the front
of my mind, Uncle Bennie
guiding my hands through
the steps to make the little hat.

"No thanks, I have one memorized,"
I tell Paige as I loop the yarn
over the hook and begin.

Paige is gentle and patient
as she shows Mallory how
to crochet. "This pattern has
some variations, so you can
make the cuffs short for slippers
or tall for booties," Paige says.

"Okay," says Mallory.
"What are you working on?"

Paige picks up a length
of soft gray with a few stripes
of brighter hues "This is
going to be a baby sweater."

"To match the booties you gave me,"
Mallory guesses, her sharp eyes
picking out the colors that match.

"Sweater and booties, hat and slippers,"
Paige says, pointing at the bit of
variegated lace I've managed to make.

Mallory takes a few more stitches,
then says, "I don't know how I can
thank you ... I haven't got much ..."

"You pay it forward," Paige says,
suddenly as serious as I've ever seen her.
"If somebody needs a favor you can do,
or needs to learn something you can teach,
then you do it for them and it balances out."

"Hands and heart," Mallory whispers.

"Hook and yarn," Paige replies,
her fingers busy with the sweater.
"My grandmother says the world
is what we make of it, so you better
pay attention to the pattern you choose."

I haven't spent as much time with Mallory
as Clement has, or even Ham, but
now I'm starting to understand
the twists and turns of her.

Sometimes what matters isn't
healing a wound or winning a fight.
Sometimes it comes down to
making a decision, choosing a gift,
creating something beautiful.

"Your grandmother's a wise woman,"
I say as I work the soft, warm yarn
through the loops of my memory.

* * *

Notes:

“A crocheted piece is the lovely manifestation of a thought, expressed through hand, heart, hook, and yarn.”
– Francine Toukou

A washable microfiber duster helps reduce allergies, though when the house is all over dust, there's a limit to how much it can do.

Lamb, rice, and mint are among the easily digestible foods and herbs. Lamb pilaf combines all of them.

Paige's craft basket looks something like this laundry hamper full of yarn.

Making baby things is one of many traditions for welcoming a new baby.

This footwear pattern includes the rainbow booties that Paige has already made and the variegated slippers that Mallory has just started. You can learn how to crochet and how to make the daisy stitch.

Some people believe that love is a feeling. Others believe it is a decision, a choice, or an action. (All of these things may be true for different people.) Some adults have found ways to fall in love on purpose. There are also exercises for prenatal, infant, and family bonding. Adopted and/or traumatized children may need extra help bonding too. These are all ways of investing in relationships to create loving ties. Finally, love can be something you make. That's why Paige is studying fibercrafts.

Paige is using this baby sweater pattern, but with lighter silvery-gray yarn and the same red, yellow-orange, green, and blue from the rainbow booties.

Mira is making this kind of baby hat from memory.

Pay it forward is a concept related to the gift economy.

The world is what you make of it, so if you don't like it, change it.

Don't have a baby coming, but love to make things? Check out Project Linus! (Link courtesy of

mdlbear.) One Heart One Mind collects and distributes baby hats and booties to Lakota mothers in need.

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It's interesting to see Mallory working so hard on skills the others basically take for granted.

I'm probably one of the few people in my generation who still makes presents for babies, but there's a MUCH larger pool of crafters in Paige's generation. Which is wonderful to see.

>> It's interesting to see Mallory working so hard on skills the others basically take for granted. <<

Sooth. She's smart, but hasn't had a lot of opportunities, and has come through some crappy stuff. I don't have all of her background filled in yet, but I suspect that she was raised by parents who just didn't know what they were doing and maybe didn't really want her. So neglect out of ignorance or indifference, and perhaps an occasional smack, but probably not systemic abuse. Her physical twitchiness may come more from bullying.

>> I'm probably one of the few people in my generation who still makes presents for babies, <<

I've done that. Some sewing, mostly scrapbooking.

>> but there's a MUCH larger pool of crafters in Paige's generation. Which is wonderful to see. <<

Yay! It almost died out for a while, but I'm glad it's coming back.

I think the making things for babies is very regional/social group located - quite common in our area/group for babies to get a few handmade items, mostly blankets.

Yes, it's ubiquitous in some areas and less common in others.

indeed. and it can come from a single person - if someone typically takes handwork places, other people feel comfortable bringing some, or asking about it, and so forth. We now have a few people who take handwork to the ice-rink, and it is nice to sit and chat with someone while the kids skate (not so good on the days when I'm allowed on the ice, and I get conflicted about Which One To Do).

Coincidentally, I was actually crocheting when I discovered this. :) Very sweet, and rings very true.

I'm so glad to hear that.

Colleen's always been big on crocheted baby blankets. Must have given away dozens of them by now. When she doesn't have a particular baby in mind she donates to Project Linus

My own fiber skills are pretty negligible.

Very sweet.

Felting isn't too hard if you'd like to try it. Sure, the material is often crocheted, but it's just as often woven. The big thing is once you've got the mat made, you rough it, wash it, compress it, and fluff it in order to get them all felted together in a mass to finish. Then you can cut and sew your felts together to make the form, like hats and gloves.

I've added a link to Project Linus to the notes.

I've done hand sewing for babies before, but more often I give a scrapbook binder with some starter pages. If I know the family has a heritage language then I include a bilingual lullabye section -- I've done French and Spanish.

This is good. And at the local SCA Twelfth Night festival Saturday there was a lot of yarn work being done. A woman sitting next to me was crocheting, and we talked about it. Not that I can. But I might want to get back to embroidery...

• Pay it forward is a related to the gift economy.
> a term? An expression?

>> This is good. <<

Yay!

>> And at the local SCA Twelfth Night festival Saturday there was a lot of yarn work being done. <<

Often so, that and filk are big on lapwork.

>> A woman sitting next to me was crocheting, and we talked about it. Not that I can. <<

Cool.

>> But I might want to get back to embroidery... <<

I've done a bit of that too. But mostly I just do hand-sewing.

This is lovely. Going to remember "hand and heart, hook and yarn."

Also, I'm pretty well convinced that people who can knit or crochet are magic. *s* I can lucet, but nothing involving stitching rows together.

Edited 2015-01-19 15:26 (UTC)

>> This is lovely. Going to remember "hand and heart, hook and yarn." <<

Yay!

>> Also, I'm pretty well convinced that people who can knit or crochet are magic. *s* I can lucet, but nothing involving stitching rows together. <<

:D Not recognizing that, of course I had to go look it up. What a fascinating craft!

When there's dust in the air, it's usually due to dry weather after muddy rains. So a steam-based or vaporizing humidifier can help wash that dust back out of the air, but that can cause a muggy indoors -- and dust is fine dirt, which means combined with water it makes mud. So while a humidifier can help with air quality, it can also mean having to wash the walls and floors a bit more often.

If it gets to be a big problem, Mallory may have to wear a dust-filter mask now and then, which is a good idea during cold and flu seasons anyway (spring flu, anyone?) but will also help deal with pollen and other allergens. Something pregnant women and people with breathing problems should consider (and have a box of 'em handy just in case). Also good for doing things like cleaning cat litter, which is often clay-based and can get dusty.

A dust-mask filter would be a great idea. For that matter, so would a proper air filter unit in the house, but that's more pricey. Heron will probably listen to a description of the dust incident and show up with a carton of face masks next time. They're cheap, and Terramagne has better ones than here. Mallory has more than one particulate trigger but dust is a big one for her, so this would definitely help.

Thanks for the tip!

Great minds think alike-- he's already seen SOMETHING is triggering her asthma, and when he realizes SHE is the one doing the dusting, he'll show up with the paper face masks. I've got issues with the local /dirt/, which is fine, black peat, as well as house dust (which is mostly not dirt, but other particulates).

So far I know that Mallory's triggers include dust, physical exertion, stress, and laughter. She is particularly vulnerable when they stack together. Oh, her use of Theatrical Voice is another trigger, which is why she's almost quit using it.

I had some long conversations with a fan who knows about asthma and that really helped develop the presentation. Mallory's asthma is not well controlled. Before she got pregnant, it was averaging several attacks a month: enough to need a rescue inhaler, but not the several times a week level of uncontrolled that can land someone in the hospital. But it's worse now, because she's breathing for two and the pregnancy is hard on her. She needs to get the asthma under control for real, not keep stretching and hoping. Otherwise she really will wind up in the emergency room, healer or no healer. Neither Heron or Clement has the kind of training to fix the worst kinds of asthma attack that can happen.

Heron is going to freak if he finds out that she's been using pepper spray as a weapon.

One thing that would really help is just surrounding Mallory with hypoallergenic stuff. Every little bit helps. I don't have the piece written about this stuff, but I have notes for an incense-triggered event, and Damask looking for hypoallergenic pillows. There's actually a gizmological filling called Daun which is better than eider, but also even more expensive, and pure eider pillows cost thousands of dollars. :/

One thing that helps our so-called hypoallergenic pillows (the cheap kind, which are frankly mostly polyfil (though I did replace their crappy fabric cover with either pillow ticking or dense twill), is to (a) double case the pillow in two all-cotton pillowcases, and (b) wash everything FAR more often than most people. Frex, we got in the habit of having four pillows for each kid, so that two would be in the wash or drying while the other two were in use, then swap. To keep on top of four people rotating pillows every day, I was doing a load of pillows and pillowcases for SOMEBODY every day of the week.

Laundry soap is VITALLY important if someone has asthma or allergies-- certain chemicals can cause reactions in non-asthmatics, and even traces of the wrong soap in the pillowcase is mayhem on an asthmatic's lungs.

SILK pillowcases are a very, very expensive option, but they act more like a dust filter, keeping the bits of fiber from the cotton pillowcase and the pillow itself contained better than anything else I've found.

>> To keep on top of four people rotating pillows every day, I was doing a load of pillows and pillowcases for SOMEBODY every day of the week. <<

Wow. But then some of what I do makes people wig out. They're not used to home science hour just to get through laundry or dinner.

My response to the whole gluten-free craze and backlash? *shrug* You don't need lab tests to see if the diet works for you. Do you feel okay on your current diet? If so, no problem. If not, try deleting things you think might be making you feel bad. If you feel better not eating wheat, yay, you found the problem! Continue not eating wheat. If you can't pin it down yourself, then think about seeing a doctor. But really if you think a food makes you sick, the obvious first step should be not eating it. This is not rocket science.

>>Laundry soap is VITALLY important if someone has asthma or allergies-- certain chemicals can cause reactions in non-asthmatics, and even traces of the wrong soap in the pillowcase is mayhem on an asthmatic's lungs. <<

Oh yeah. They are probably using either cheap regular detergent, or ordinary mild stuff if someone has sensitive skin. So just switching to a real hypoallergenic detergent would help, and that's something else Heron could suggest. I get the "free" versions, and sometimes organic when I can find it although that kind doesn't remove oils as well so I have to swap them.

>> SILK pillowcases are a very, very expensive option, but they act more like a dust filter, keeping the bits of fiber from the cotton pillowcase and the pillow itself contained better than anything else I've found. <<

Silk pillowcase over hypoallergenic fiberfill is probably what they'll settle for. Maybe some high-grade HEPA filters for the house heating/cooling system, since a real air filter is probably out of range for now.

Just keep repeating, "It's cheaper than an ambulance ride."

"Soap nuts" are a real solution to laundry soap problems, though I haven't tried them personally. Some of the folks I know have tried them and love them. Apparently they last a long time, too, so lots less buying replacements.

Fascinating! I had heard of saponin but not this version of it. I've added this to my notes for getting allergens away from Mallory.

Oh, oh, I was *hoping* there would be a pilaf recipe! I *have* to try this; the whole gang loves lamb...

Project Linus... well, of *course* it's about security blankets!

I remember once helping SJ Tucker do transfers for pillowcases for the local children's hospital... having a memorable pillow seems to make almost as much difference as the blanket. I know our little Duchess uses a largish stuffed bear (that was once bigger than she was) as a pillow...

<3 <3 <3 I really like how Mallory is coming along. A lot of times something like this can make a big mess... but she would not be the first I knew for whom this *saved* a life... in this case, with a fair bit of help from new friends....

And, yes, pay it forward.

>> Oh, oh, I was *hoping* there would be a pilaf recipe! I *have* to try this; the whole gang loves lamb... <<

Yay! :D I love pilaf too. Biryani is also excellent, a similar concept from India. A restaurant we love makes a mixed-meat biryani that is delicious. Not something I can eat more than a few bites of, but so worth it.

>> Project Linus... well, of *course* it's about security blankets! <<

Yeah, I love that.

>> <3 <3 <3 I really like how Mallory is coming along. <<

I'm happy to hear that.

>> A lot of times something like this can make a big mess... <<

Well it certainly did that, especially for the first couple of months. But it's getting better now.

>> but she would not be the first I knew for whom this *saved* a life... in this case, with a fair bit of help from new friends.... <<

Support makes all the difference. I wish more people understood that. So I write lots of examples.

If people want to cover the other side some time, well, I've written that too.

>> And, yes, pay it forward. <<

Some debts can't really be paid back, so this keeps the gift moving.

Delightful! Plussed!

I'm glad you enjoyed this.

"My grandmother says that love
isn't something that just happens,"
Paige explains. "It's something
that you make, hand and heart,
hook and yarn. It doesn't even
look like much at first, but then
one day it all comes together."

Codifying that to go into my Rules for Life... which would make it rule #14 and the first new one in ten years.

Paige really is a sweetie. <3 This was adorable. I'm glad it got posted! <3

She may not be much use in a crisis, but she is a good friend and adept at other helpful skills. :D

I'm so happy that Mallory is learning how to knit and that Mira has rediscovered her love of knitting.

Paige is serious when she needs to be with the 'paying it forward' but a great listener.

I like how Clement is surprised by Mallory's vehemence to be of use and worried about it in equal turn. I really like how Clement always asks Mallory if she wants him to help with his healing before he does it/touches her.

Continuing onto the next poem :)

~Angel

>> I'm so happy that Mallory is learning how to knit and that Mira has rediscovered her love of knitting.<<

Crochet in this case, but yeah, it's helping.

>> Paige is serious when she needs to be with the 'paying it forward' but a great listener.<<

Paige is very sociable. She's not very independent, but she's quite good with people.

>> I like how Clement is surprised by Mallory's vehemence to be of use and worried about it in equal turn. <<

Yyyyyeah. Crummy parenting and hanging out with supervillains can give people a very instrumental view of relationships. It's half-true, in that a healthy relationship should balance giving and receiving, but it's expressed in an unhealthy way.

>>I really like how Clement always asks Mallory if she wants him to help with his healing before he does it/touches her.<<

Damage notwithstanding, he has a pretty good set of boundaries.

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Poem: "Hand and Heart, Hook and Yarn"

I agree with Paige's grandmother!

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Aww...

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Felt maybe

Thank you!

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Thank you!

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Thank you!

Help for dust

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Thank you!

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Thank you!

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Yay!

This one is lovely

Re: This one is lovely