Overcoming Limits (or not)

[ysabetwordsmith]

Here's a post about overcoming limits, or not.

What it does not mention are limits that one could, but should not,  push past.  That is, a body/mind has things it can do safely, things that can be done but are unpleasant or harmful, and things that cannot be done at all.  That middle range is where most people get into trouble, and they are far more likely to do so with other people yapping, "Go on, try!  You can do it!"  

It's like mad science.  Just because you CAN do something, does not always mean you SHOULD.  Always think about the cost-benefit balance.  Don't hurt yourself on account of other people urging you forward where it's not safe, or because you really want to do something that is not safe for your body/mind.  Know yourself.  Know your limits.  Understand which ones are soft limits that you can push sometimes but not routinely, and which ones are hard limits that will do real damage if you smack into them.  Treat your limits with respect and your self with compassion.

Comments

[brushwolf]

How to say this.

The thing about exceptional people is that they're just that - the exception, not the rule. Most amputees don't run marathons, and most child abuse survivors don't turn their lives around and become fabulously wealthy/respected whatevers. There are good reasons for that, losing a leg or most of your childhood is not an easy thing to hack. It isn't supposed to be. No amount of dualistic success/failure stories, positive thinking, society monetizing the idea of success, or whatever, can change that difficult things are difficult to deal with.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Well said.

Also, there's a serious tendency for tokenism with disabilities: abled people point to the few who succeed wildly, and make like everyone could do that or should be doing that. It is just as much baloney as saying that all black people could be successful if they tried. They are trying, and most of them are still poor.

Re: Thank you!

[brushwolf]

That's part of what I mean - I think a lot of it is just basic humanity, we want simplifications and dualities, we want happy endings, we're used to thinking of success as something that plays out financially. But reality is way more diverse and I feel we keep acting as though all cancer survivors are the same cancer survivor (which I think is a good example because that's physiologically as well as emotionally impossible).

I mean, applying the whole through willpower you'll be able to push through all barriers and become a huge success trope is cruel even if you're doing it on, I dunno, let's say upper middle class white kids. It's only going to get crueler from there.