Emotional Intimacy Question: Connecting

[ysabetwordsmith]

Folks have mentioned an interest in questions and conversations that make them think. So I've decided to offer more of those. This is the current list.

10. How do you best connect with others?

Through common interests.  Small talk bores me to death, and actually prevents  connection.  However, I'm quite happy talking about quantum physics or how to attract wildlife or crafts.  I need a meaningful topic.

Comments

[siliconshaman]

Huh, ditto! Although I can whitter away and bluff my way through small talk like I know what I'm doing. It's sheer nervous energy really...

Honestly, talking to people IRL freaks me out and feels weird.

I guess I best connect to people via TLP and HTTP.

[technoshaman]

Me, too. It can be a small thing. Discovering someone else is a GryffinPuff. An interesting tattoo. Sharing helping someone through a difficult transaction on the automated postage machines. But start out talking about the weather? pfft. That goes nowhere.

Common fandoms, on the other hand...

[pronker]

Talking about relationships, mainly. I might get going on comic book history or the story of the fascinating saola if a person shows a glimmer of common interest, but I begin with small talk about kids or job or something. I like the concrete.

I've often mused on my addiction to angst ... reached no conclusions, but mused on it.

[cmcmck]

Something we have very much in common, I think! :o)

[iamnotgod]

Exactly this! If it's a common interest, and not just talking-to-talk, I can go on for hours... assuming the other person's okay with that. |D

I have befriended many people based upon what they make for something - themselves, or a fandom at large.

[mirrorofsmoke]

Hey. You’ve got that in common with us, I think. It’s a matter of brain wiring but some of us are more comfortable with people than others. However, get us off on a shared fandom or anything involving sentient tech and we can squee for days.
Root

[iamnotgod]

True, true, true!

Sentient tech is a wonderful topic. X3 Though sometimes I feel like I'm outclassed by the people I'm talking to...

Pleasure to meet you, Root!

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

No matter how much you know about a topic, there will always be people who know more and people who know less. AI and robots are fun topics that folks can enjoy at a casual (killer robot movies!) or technical (let's make a robot that can jump!) levels.

Me, I can't handle one much more sophisticated than my crockpot (yes, the electronic one is technically a type of utilitarian robot) but I'm keenly interested in the ethics of artificial intelligence, especially sapience. I like to do things such as comparing and contrasting JARVIS (built as a butler) with all the batshit AIs built from military frameworks. Why does JARVIS not go on a rampage? Because he has a secure attachment, and healthy people don't try to destroy the world. This matters because if we're heading toward sentient tech, we need to make sure it's raised properly and treated decently so we don't make baby monsters (as happens too often with human infants in awful situations). Science can tell you how to make a slavebot; humanities can tell you why this might be a bad idea.

What's your area of expertise? Now think how that relates to AI.

[iamnotgod]

/nod, nod/

I'm into the psychology of things, myself, and more than a bit of the existential "what are the words for these senses?", but I also like learning about what tech avenues are most plausible... and making sure the right people are pioneering them. =P The sort you'd trust with an animal and/or child, at any rate.

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I'm into the psychology of things, myself, <<

The psychology of AI is so much fun! You get to explore things like:

* Can artificial beings have feelings, and if so, how can we tell? Right now they can mimic feelings and read human emotions.

* If AIs have emotions, will they be exactly the same ones as humans have?

* Will mental health and illness be the same for AIs as for humans? Science fiction has shown many psychotic AIs, so humans seem to believe that sentient AIs can (or inevitably WILL) go insane. But they might not have our need for the same kind of work-life balance. It depends on whether they derive the most satisfaction from doing a job or developing other hobbies.

* Which philosophy or other system of ethics should be used to program AIs? Will using a different base generate widely different results? Are all human philosophies and other ethical systems capable of begetting sapience, or only some of them; and if the latter, which ones?

* What are the survival needs and optimization needs for infant AIs? We criticize parents who neglect or abuse human infants or pets; what are the criteria for maltreatment of AIs?

* Shall the chonological age apply regarding the age of consent in AIs capable of sexual/romantic interactions with humans? Or shall we consider that AIs may have very limited exposure to humans (e.g. due to growing up in a lab or factory) and require more real-world experience before granting sexual rights? Or shall we consider they live in quicktime and may mature very much sooner? Because measured by chronological age, all the sexually active AIs I've seen in science fiction have been drastically below the legal age of consent for humans, and their psychological behavior suggests that they are not mature enough to understand sexuality or consent even if their peripheral or their personality is equipped with urges.

These are things we really should consider before we beget offspring with no legal rights. Because I'd really rather not see the Big House problem repeated.

>>and more than a bit of the existential "what are the words for these senses?", but I also like learning about what tech avenues are most plausible... and making sure the right people are pioneering them. =P The sort you'd trust with an animal and/or child, at any rate.<<

Yeah, the people raising AIs in most entertainment are people who shouldn't be entrusted with the care of a goldfish. >_< That's why the AIs go apeshit. Because well, about a third of abuse survivors go on to abuse someone else.

And to go back to the first thing, since I got distracted by the question. |D

[iamnotgod]

It's more a matter of 'I should shut up around this person as a sign of respect' - which, more often than not, is counterproductive! At least if I want to try and be on even footing with the other person, not just a Receptor of Knowledge/Wisdom.

Re: And to go back to the first thing, since I got distracted by the question. |D

[ysabetwordsmith]

I have that routine, but it activates very rarely, because very few people are SO much smarter than me that all I want to do is sit there and soak instead of conversing.

My typical routine, with someone much more versed in their field than I am, is to feed them a few questions, then let them emit facts until they run down, then feed them another question. I can come up with good questions on pretty much any topic.

Much of the time, if we have a common interest, I know enough about to have a real back-and-forth conversation.

[iamnotgod]

The question route is a good one, yes~ I like to think I'm good at those, at least. ;)

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

It can make you very popular very fast. Most people like to talk about themselves and/or their work. A good listener tends to charm them.

Conversely, if you have a famous person who gets pestered incessantly about their work, say one nice thing about it, throw in any other random topic, and let them lead the conversation from there. In my experience, they'll usually talk about something else -- like the local city if they're traveling -- and eventually loop back around to some aspect of their work.

Just understand that either of these can end with someone clinging to you like an octopus all weekend. Shocked the hell out of me the first few times it happened, and I had to ask one of the big-name writers why they kept picking me out of 400 attendees. "Because you treat us like regular people." Oh. Okay.

[mirrorofsmoke]

The pleasure is mine. :) You know. I wonder if you'd mind if we added you to our journal. I know this is an RP journal, and I don't know if you have a main journal somewhere, but this is my system's main, and you seem like a ton of fun to have on the list.

Also, awwww. Some of us feel outclassed sometimes, too, so it's all right.

-Root

[iamnotgod]

I wouldn't mind at all! ^^ I lack a main (though in terms of 'most used', my Nita journal - unfavorableinstigation - was the first I ever made here on DW), but I'd be glad to have you on.

And thank you for saying so! <3

~S.M.F/more-than-occasionally Autistic_Ace

[quantumcupcakes]

I hate academic events, so much small talk and it's painful. It's an entire room filled of scientists, you'd think we'd find something to talk about but it's all so impersonal.

It was even worse when I worked in the private sector. All the 'schmoozing' and fund-raising. It's one of the reasons I take my husband - his ice-breaker is a sledgehammer!

O_O

[ysabetwordsmith]

Okay, I can to some extent excuse average people for talking about who celebrities are fucking today because they seem to care about that shit. But a roomful of scientists with perfectly legitimate field topics doing that? I'd probably have a meltdown from the shear alone. DO NOT WANT.