Not helped by the fact that at it's root, society itself is abusive, or at least, run by abusers.

Run by abusers. Yeah, that doesn't help one bit. And, yeah, tickybox a few of those for me, too, though (thanks Be) I've worked through or are working through a lot of them. I've made my peace with the idea that some will never get un-ticked completely... and am working on making my war against the miscreants.