Yeah, I agree with all of this-- the only thing I'm going to add is something that I didn't state outright, and I should have.
I'm only talking about people within my own subcultures growing up, or in my twenties and thirties, et cetera. That's a pretty wild and wacky list, but it IS limited, especially by the fact that my second-language skills are laughably near zero. The people in my neighborhood, which is very ethnically mixed, ARE about our family's income level, which makes for a very stark kind of uniformity, too.
The one thing that's consistent even across different ethnic groups is that I've found women have often been taught SPECIFICALLY not just HOW to apologize, but to do so IMMEDIATELY, often before deciding /if/ there's any fault or upset or problem. Akin to, "I'm sorry, your car lights are on and you left two of the doors wide open." The tone isn't "I'm sorry for interrupting you," it specifically seems to convey FAULT, not just a politely-phrased interruption.
Re: from the notes:
I'm only talking about people within my own subcultures growing up, or in my twenties and thirties, et cetera. That's a pretty wild and wacky list, but it IS limited, especially by the fact that my second-language skills are laughably near zero. The people in my neighborhood, which is very ethnically mixed, ARE about our family's income level, which makes for a very stark kind of uniformity, too.
The one thing that's consistent even across different ethnic groups is that I've found women have often been taught SPECIFICALLY not just HOW to apologize, but to do so IMMEDIATELY, often before deciding /if/ there's any fault or upset or problem. Akin to, "I'm sorry, your car lights are on and you left two of the doors wide open." The tone isn't "I'm sorry for interrupting you," it specifically seems to convey FAULT, not just a politely-phrased interruption.