I also have personal experience -- mine, plus a lot of gifted friends. I was sixteen before I had any real friends. Before that, it was a few friendly acquaintances and the very few adults who weren't threatened by me. I was shocked the first time I was around other people my age of my intelligence, and shocked the first time I went to a convention and was around other people who thought like me -- just the idea of suddenly being in a large group of people who could keep up with me, not bore me, and not resent me. It was a whole different world.
And today? I have a handful of highly intelligent friends scattered around the globe. I love that kind of interaction when I can get it. But the area where I live is not very densely populated, which means there aren't many smart people around outside the universities; and campus culture tends to be insular. So I'm mostly surrounded by people who bore me and are scared of me. They are interested in things like celebrities and sex, while I am interested in things like quantum physics and climate change.
People here actively attack signs of intelligence. I was once sitting in a restaurant and overheard someone make a very simple remark about math, only to have his "friends" dogpile him. Because he said something that wasn't ignorant. I felt sorry for him.
Things like that are why gifted kids often pretend to be dumber than they are -- or if they don't want to do that, they avoid people. Those who are also socially gifted may find ways of charming people into overlooking their intelligence. But in much of America, intelligence is not valued. It is often condemned, and that trend is getting worse. People pretend that it's desirable, and it can be valuable if you find ways to apply it to making a living. But it can be very isolating, and it's useless if you don't have enough money and power to be the one deciding what happens in your life. Then you see all the right answers, and get stuck with other people constantly making stupid choices for which you pay the price.
Re: Is there such a thing as a "perfect mistake"?
I also have personal experience -- mine, plus a lot of gifted friends. I was sixteen before I had any real friends. Before that, it was a few friendly acquaintances and the very few adults who weren't threatened by me. I was shocked the first time I was around other people my age of my intelligence, and shocked the first time I went to a convention and was around other people who thought like me -- just the idea of suddenly being in a large group of people who could keep up with me, not bore me, and not resent me. It was a whole different world.
And today? I have a handful of highly intelligent friends scattered around the globe. I love that kind of interaction when I can get it. But the area where I live is not very densely populated, which means there aren't many smart people around outside the universities; and campus culture tends to be insular. So I'm mostly surrounded by people who bore me and are scared of me. They are interested in things like celebrities and sex, while I am interested in things like quantum physics and climate change.
People here actively attack signs of intelligence. I was once sitting in a restaurant and overheard someone make a very simple remark about math, only to have his "friends" dogpile him. Because he said something that wasn't ignorant. I felt sorry for him.
Things like that are why gifted kids often pretend to be dumber than they are -- or if they don't want to do that, they avoid people. Those who are also socially gifted may find ways of charming people into overlooking their intelligence. But in much of America, intelligence is not valued. It is often condemned, and that trend is getting worse. People pretend that it's desirable, and it can be valuable if you find ways to apply it to making a living. But it can be very isolating, and it's useless if you don't have enough money and power to be the one deciding what happens in your life. Then you see all the right answers, and get stuck with other people constantly making stupid choices for which you pay the price.