ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem came out of the July 2, 2013 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] chordatesrock. It has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. This poem belongs to the series Polychrome Heroics.

"Nailed, Screwed, and Trued"

There are different kinds of heroes.
This is vital to understand,
because their powers and personalities
apply to different types of problems.

Each problem comes
with one or more causes,
and it is crucial to understand
which cause goes with which problem,
because different causes
require different solutions.

Back in World War II,
there was a strong young girl
called Whammy Lass
whose fists looked like two prize hammers
and who viewed every problem as a nail.

This was great for those problems
that actually resembled nails.
It was not so great
for the ones like screws
or bicycle spokes.

Time passed,
and Whammy Lass
grew older, and superheroes
gradually became more common.

So did supervillains,
and therefore, so did problems.

Now there is Granny Whammy
who is no longer a spring chicken
but can still pack a punch when needed.
She has learned how to analyze trouble
to see who has the best chance of solving it.

Now there is a loose, informal network known as the
Super Power Organizational & Operational Nexus.
It connects superheroes and other people with powers,
helping them to find other soups as desired,
form working relationships, and share information.

Granny Whammy makes sure
that straightforward problems
get people who think like hammers,
while twisty complicated problems
get people who think like screwdrivers,
and murky ethical dilemmas
get people with the moral fiber of a spoke key.

Thus all the trouble
gets nailed, screwed, and trued
according to its needs
and the supervillains don't get too cocky.

When the new superheroes come to her
as soft and shiny as pennies fresh from the mint,
they ask her for advice, expecting to hear
something sage about tactics and strategy.
Instead, Granny Whammy tells them,
"Never use a screwdriver to pound nails."

* * *

A spoke key is used for truing the spokes of a bicycle wheel.

* * *
Granny Whammy -- Helen Laguardia was Whammy Lass in her youth, one of the first really famous superheroes. She served in World War II. She has olive skin and brown eyes. Her wavy hair was black, and is now white. As Granny Whammy, she runs the Super Power Organizational & Operational Nexus.
Origin: Always a big strong girl, she came into her superpower at puberty.
Uniform: Whammy Lass served in the army and wore camo fatigues. Granny Whammy customarily wears dark green pants with a cream or white blouse, often with a camo-patterned sweater or vest on top.
Qualities: Master (+6) Commanding Respect, Master (+6) Wisdom of Experience, Expert (+4) Organizational Skills, Expert (+4) Stubborn, Good (+2) Activist, Good (+2) Armor
Poor (-2) No Longer a Spring Chicken
Powers: Good (+2) Strength
Motivation: Use the right tool for the job.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-07-21 11:44 am (UTC)
siliconshaman: black cat against the moon (Default)
From: [personal profile] siliconshaman
Ohhh I see what you did there... soups work for S.P.O.O.N....

(no subject)

Date: 2013-07-21 01:06 pm (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat

(no subject)

Date: 2013-07-21 04:23 pm (UTC)
ext_3294: Tux (Default)
From: [identity profile] technoshaman.livejournal.com
Do I sense an homage to the Tick in there? or just culinary skills? ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2013-07-22 04:40 am (UTC)
ext_12246: (Spoonless)
From: [identity profile] thnidu.livejournal.com
First I was thinking the same. Next I thought, "Well, of course! If you're trying to stir up soups...!"


Date: 2013-07-29 06:34 pm (UTC)


Date: 2013-07-29 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com
I'm not a Tick fan, although [livejournal.com profile] my_partner_doug is. Nor is it a cooking reference. It's a whimsical little riff on the connection between soup and spoon.

Re: No...

Date: 2013-07-29 06:50 pm (UTC)
ext_3294: Tux (Default)
From: [identity profile] technoshaman.livejournal.com
*nods* ok. Wouldn't be the first time someone had read too much into a poet's work.. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-05-18 04:57 am (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Love the last line especially.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 07:31 am (UTC)
stardreamer: Meez headshot (Default)
From: [personal profile] stardreamer
Interesting. That's a very different power set than I'd envisioned for Granny Whammy; I guess I was being influenced by the common use of "whammy" to refer to magic-based power, similar to "hex". But in her case, it was clearly the "WHAM!" she could deliver with her fists.


ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)

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