It seems we've had pretty opposite experiences with "honesty".
My mother was vicious, and justified it by its "honesty". But- it really wasn't honest- it didn't consider all sides, for example- it was just nasty and mean-spirited. For the 25+ years we've been estranged, she's prided herself on that being due to her unwillingness to not be "honest"; I say it's because i required that she keep a civil tongue in her head, which she explicitly declined to do. Honest, indeed. I still remember when she insisted on visiting when we did not have a habitable house, and my daughter was a newborn... and rather than HELPING, she sat on her ass, demanded services, and verbally abused me for not having a comfy house and waiting on her enough- oh, and for being FAT.
Thus, I see the downside of "honesty"- though I know, from reading you online, that's not what you mean by it.
She is still convinced that she's the Truth-teller (gods know, I wouldn't notice that I am FAT unless she attacked me with it regularly!). I'm convinced- based on that an a lot of previous crap- that she's a manipulative, nasty bitch who is well out of my life.
Honesty is 2-edged, and can be used for cruelty just as easily as it can be used for good, in my experience.
Re: Thoughts
My mother was vicious, and justified it by its "honesty". But- it really wasn't honest- it didn't consider all sides, for example- it was just nasty and mean-spirited. For the 25+ years we've been estranged, she's prided herself on that being due to her unwillingness to not be "honest"; I say it's because i required that she keep a civil tongue in her head, which she explicitly declined to do. Honest, indeed. I still remember when she insisted on visiting when we did not have a habitable house, and my daughter was a newborn... and rather than HELPING, she sat on her ass, demanded services, and verbally abused me for not having a comfy house and waiting on her enough- oh, and for being FAT.
Thus, I see the downside of "honesty"- though I know, from reading you online, that's not what you mean by it.
She is still convinced that she's the Truth-teller (gods know, I wouldn't notice that I am FAT unless she attacked me with it regularly!). I'm convinced- based on that an a lot of previous crap- that she's a manipulative, nasty bitch who is well out of my life.
Honesty is 2-edged, and can be used for cruelty just as easily as it can be used for good, in my experience.