>> I have a friend whose husband insisted that he was going to deep-fry their turkey. She didn't tell him not to. She got out their big cast iron camping dutch oven and the camp stove, and insisted he do it outside. She also insisted that he have a fire extinguisher. <<

Okay ...

>> He thought having a bucket of water would also be a good idea. <<

O_O Nooooo! You need special equipment to put out a grease fire. Failing that, a bucket of dry sand is sometimes effective. But probably not for exploding turkey.

>> So he got all this set up, and lowered the turkey into the oil. Then he realized he'd forgotten to fill the bucket, grabbed it, and went back to the house faucet. So he was a good 20 feet away when everything went Ka-BOOM. He wasn't hurt, but dinner was vegetarian that year.<<

Damn lucky.