>> I wanted to say thanks for including an aroace nonbinary person in this, even just a mention. <<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
The larger polycules I write often have at least one nonsexual member, because I've seen it before and it's a logical evolutionary purpose -- having a spare nonprocreating adult -- so that fits. See also Bagira in the Coral Reef. He reappears in "Acknowledging the Complicated Truth," though that one isn't published yet.
You can ask for more during any relevant prompt call. Next up will be the December 7, 2021 Poetry Fishbowl on "acts of kindness."
>> I'm aroace and genderfluid, and my best friend and her wife to be just platonically proposed to me. <<
Congratulations! *throws birdseed*
>> They want me to be a part of their lives, live with them, help raise their kids, officiate their wedding. And gods its everything I never thought I'd get. <<
That's wonderful.
>> I'm so used to friends dropping me in their priorities once they partner up, I don't quite believe that I get this yet. I thought I'd end up living alone forever, always a distant second, and the future looked kinda bleak.<<
Yeah, this society doesn't provide any diversity for lifepartner examples. It's all het couples, and a few gay/lesbian bits thrown in. Nothing for best friends or siblings who want to live together, and the old custom of unmarried siblings living with a married sibling's family has fallen out of use. Nothing for asexual or aromantic people except certain celibate religious orders. 0_o But it used to be common for a couple to have an extra adult in the mix, whether a relative or a friend, as it provided extra fault tolerance for everything from company to childcare to income.
>> It hasn't sunk in yet that they really want me, value me and my presence in their lives as much as they value each other. Society has left me with some baggage there I think.<<
Society is a baggage department.
>> It's so nice to see a character like me in a relationship like mine, what we might have in a few years, especially right now. <<
Yay! That's why I write a lot of what I write. Representation matters.
>> So thank you, sincerely for writing this. It means a lot.<<
You're welcome. I'm glad I could help.
By the way, a pattern I've noticed? The aromantic and/or asexual characters I've seen joining polycules because they want to raise kids without having to make them, tend to have education in child development/care. From that I would extrapolate that those coming in with some other major contribution to family life (handyman, bookkeeper, etc.) would have a solid background in that other skill. It's a little easier to beat down impostor syndrome telling you that you're worthless when you have concrete credentials to hit it with.
I suspect this comes from T-America's more mindful approach to relationships and family life. People are encouraged from the beginning to think about what they want, first in friends and later in emfriends or lifepartners, and what they'll need in order to pursue that. Household contributions aren't limited to just nookie. There are lots of other relationship and homemaking skills.
If you want to explore more about acearo characters and relationships, one option is Alpha/Beta/Omega fanfic. While much of this is pr0n, there's a subset focusing on the Betas as builders of society and/or home because of the Alpha/Omega fixation on breeding.
Re: Thanks
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
The larger polycules I write often have at least one nonsexual member, because I've seen it before and it's a logical evolutionary purpose -- having a spare nonprocreating adult -- so that fits. See also Bagira in the Coral Reef. He reappears in "Acknowledging the Complicated Truth," though that one isn't published yet.
You can ask for more during any relevant prompt call. Next up will be the December 7, 2021 Poetry Fishbowl on "acts of kindness."
>> I'm aroace and genderfluid, and my best friend and her wife to be just platonically proposed to me. <<
Congratulations! *throws birdseed*
>> They want me to be a part of their lives, live with them, help raise their kids, officiate their wedding. And gods its everything I never thought I'd get. <<
That's wonderful.
>> I'm so used to friends dropping me in their priorities once they partner up, I don't quite believe that I get this yet. I thought I'd end up living alone forever, always a distant second, and the future looked kinda bleak.<<
Yeah, this society doesn't provide any diversity for lifepartner examples. It's all het couples, and a few gay/lesbian bits thrown in. Nothing for best friends or siblings who want to live together, and the old custom of unmarried siblings living with a married sibling's family has fallen out of use. Nothing for asexual or aromantic people except certain celibate religious orders. 0_o But it used to be common for a couple to have an extra adult in the mix, whether a relative or a friend, as it provided extra fault tolerance for everything from company to childcare to income.
>> It hasn't sunk in yet that they really want me, value me and my presence in their lives as much as they value each other. Society has left me with some baggage there I think.<<
Society is a baggage department.
>> It's so nice to see a character like me in a relationship like mine, what we might have in a few years, especially right now. <<
Yay! That's why I write a lot of what I write. Representation matters.
>> So thank you, sincerely for writing this. It means a lot.<<
You're welcome. I'm glad I could help.
By the way, a pattern I've noticed? The aromantic and/or asexual characters I've seen joining polycules because they want to raise kids without having to make them, tend to have education in child development/care. From that I would extrapolate that those coming in with some other major contribution to family life (handyman, bookkeeper, etc.) would have a solid background in that other skill. It's a little easier to beat down impostor syndrome telling you that you're worthless when you have concrete credentials to hit it with.
I suspect this comes from T-America's more mindful approach to relationships and family life. People are encouraged from the beginning to think about what they want, first in friends and later in emfriends or lifepartners, and what they'll need in order to pursue that. Household contributions aren't limited to just nookie. There are lots of other relationship and homemaking skills.
If you want to explore more about acearo characters and relationships, one option is Alpha/Beta/Omega fanfic. While much of this is pr0n, there's a subset focusing on the Betas as builders of society and/or home because of the Alpha/Omega fixation on breeding.