>> If the base rule is "try not to make others uncomftorable" that's a good starting point. <<
Agreed.
>> We would, occasionally and unintentionally, do minorly annoying things by each other's standards (think getting in people's space b/c proxemics). <<
That's normal in any group, though more common in a mixed group where people are less familiar with each other's parameters.
>> There were a few bigger/serious instances, but the folks in charge were usually good about stepping in if someone felt hurt, and you wouldn't have to interact with the person after if you didn't want to. <<
Key point: not having to interact with the person. Much damage is done when incompatible people can't avoid each other, all the more so if one has power over the other. I consider it a very risky bottleneck any time there's only one person to teach a class or handle certain paperwork. It invites abuse, which then leaves the organization open to lawsuits.
In fact, choice in general matters a lot for avoiding conflicts.
>> - If someone's body language suddenly goes from cheerful/relaxed to reserved, fearful or agressive that is a warning sign, and you back off. <<
Ideally, people in helping professions need extra education in body language to catch things like this, and business parameters that direct them to back off instead of bullying people.
>> - If someone keeps dodging a question, or giving a reflective response, they may not be comfortable discussing the topic. <<
Sadly all the references I've seen are about how to force people to give up information they don't want to. Nobody seems to think it advisable to make interviews culturally appropriate or respectful. And then they wonder why people "don't want help."
>> - Theres a friendly-agressive tone, the "I demand you come have fun" tone. If someone is interrogating or inviting in this tone, check if the other participants need backup. <<
... and avoid that person, because that shit is not okay. If it's a demand, it's not fun, it's work; like an office "party."
Re: Thoughts
Agreed.
>> We would, occasionally and unintentionally, do minorly annoying things by each other's standards (think getting in people's space b/c proxemics). <<
That's normal in any group, though more common in a mixed group where people are less familiar with each other's parameters.
>> There were a few bigger/serious instances, but the folks in charge were usually good about stepping in if someone felt hurt, and you wouldn't have to interact with the person after if you didn't want to. <<
Key point: not having to interact with the person. Much damage is done when incompatible people can't avoid each other, all the more so if one has power over the other. I consider it a very risky bottleneck any time there's only one person to teach a class or handle certain paperwork. It invites abuse, which then leaves the organization open to lawsuits.
In fact, choice in general matters a lot for avoiding conflicts.
>> - If someone's body language suddenly goes from cheerful/relaxed to reserved, fearful or agressive that is a warning sign, and you back off. <<
Ideally, people in helping professions need extra education in body language to catch things like this, and business parameters that direct them to back off instead of bullying people.
>> - If someone keeps dodging a question, or giving a reflective response, they may not be comfortable discussing the topic. <<
Sadly all the references I've seen are about how to force people to give up information they don't want to. Nobody seems to think it advisable to make interviews culturally appropriate or respectful. And then they wonder why people "don't want help."
>> - Theres a friendly-agressive tone, the "I demand you come have fun" tone. If someone is interrogating or inviting in this tone, check if the other participants need backup. <<
... and avoid that person, because that shit is not okay. If it's a demand, it's not fun, it's work; like an office "party."